Bartlet becomes furious when a rival conservative congresswoman tries to end funding for a controversial National Institute of Health medical study by exposing the fact that Bartlet’s daughter Ellie (Nina Siemaszko) is working at the institute as a scientist. As Toby searches for the internal White House leak that led to Ellie’s press scrutiny, Josh tries to convince an old college friend to remain in contention as a judge on the 6th Circuit Federal Court–even though his confirmation has been blocked for the past 12 months. Meanwhile, C.J. urges Abbey to increase her public profile as the First Lady and a working doctor. Part of C.J.’s plan includes educating children about medicine via a public service announcement with Abbey and characters from the children’s show “Sesame Street,” Big Bird, Elmo, Rosita and Zoe.
THE WEST WING 5x16 - "EPPUR SI MUOVE" WRITTEN BY ALEXA JUNGE DIRECTED BY LLEWELLYN WELLS TRANSCRIBED BY SOUNDMAN FOR TWIZ TV.COM. SEND FEEDBACK TO firstname.lastname@example.org. TEASER DR. LEWIS FOY Preliminary results indicate an alarmingly high prevalence of infection. FADE IN: INT. - LAB - NIGHT JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY MEDICAL RESEARCH LAB A man, Dr. Lewis Foy, and a technician are seated at a lab table. They are reviewing something. FOY U.S. rates are 14%, whereas of patient volunteers we investigated, 48% tested positive for HPV. The phone in Dr. Foy's office starts ringing. FOY Take a message. And bring me the PCR data as well. The technician goes into the office and answers the phone. TECHNICIAN Dr. Foy's office. ... I'm sorry. Dr. Foy's not available. ... Hold on a sec. He comes back into the lab and speaks to Dr. Foy. TECHNICIAN He's from Congressman Bentley's office, they're reviewing one of your NIH grants. Dr. Foy goes into the office and grabs the phone. FOY Thanks. [into phone] Lewis Foy. ... That's very nice. ... I'm sorry, which congressman? ... Which project? ... Let me put you on speaker so I can find my grants' file. He turns on the speakerphone and hangs up the receiver. MAN The congressman is especially impressed with your work on, wait, I have it right here, "the Human Papilloma Virus in Commercial Sex Workers in San Juan, Puerto Rico." He writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to the technician. MAN But why the interest in Puerto Rico? Why focus on sex workers? Is that really of scientific value? FOY I just submitted my non-competing renewal and there are three years left on my grant. The technician has walked out of the room and over to the office area of another scientist. TECHNICIAN Ellie, he needs you. MAN Can you confirm your home address? FOY How is that relevant? MAN The address we have is 536 Washburn Lane. Are you a registered voter, sir? Our records indicate you're a registered Democrat. FOY I don't see how that's any of your business. MAN Can you tell me who you voted for? As she walks off, we focus on the picture on her desk which shows Bartlet and Abbey standing beside Ellie Bartlet, dressed in a graduation gown. C.J. [prelap] Maybe she's overreacting, maybe I'm overreacting. CUT TO: INT. - TOBY'S OFFICE - NIGHT Toby is seated at his desk and C.J. is across from him and they are talking. TOBY Maybe. C.J. He never mentioned her. He never made reference to her working in the lab at all. TOBY Okay. C.J. The old let's-lift-up-this-rock-and-see-if-we-can-find-something-wiggling-underneath game. TOBY Just happened to be her rock. C.J. She's so sensitive. You know she'd freak if anyone even hints at nepotism. Toby stands up from his desk. C.J. Tell me this is nothing to worry about. TOBY This is nothing to worry about. C.J. moves to leave. C.J. Toby. TOBY Which Congressman was it? C.J. Bentley. TOBY As in House Reform? How many U.S. Research Labs come equipped with the President's daughter? Whether they invoked her or not, they wouldn't have called unless they had something. Somebody's out for blood and they're targeting Ellie Bartlet. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER. * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. - HALLWAY - WHITE HOUSE - DAY Carol and C.J. are walking and talking. They end up in C.J.'s office. CAROL Ben will be here at 1:00. I got the back table at 1789, and I told him to wear the painter's pants so you won't be tempted to jump him. And he has a meeting at 3:00. C.J. Nice work. CAROL Those would have to be some pretty hideous painter's pants. C.J. goes into her office. Toby is sitting on the couch. C.J. Now that you've slept on it, the call to Dr. Foy wasn't about Ellie Bartlet and I get to have a happy quiet day? TOBY Now that I've slept on it I think it's worse. C.J. When they were in the Governor's mansion, Ellie got $5 allowance for doing a boat-load of chores. The President isn't steering money to his daughter. TOBY Not the President. Us. Some overeager NIH lackey trying to curry favor and this whole conversation might be a little bit easier were I not fighting my way through a cloud of Obsession. C.J. There's no cloud. TOBY It's about to precipitate out. It's about to rain Obsession. C.J. I got a brief. TOBY I'll get a breakdown of Foy's research funding. C.J. Hope like hell it hasn't gone up since Ellie Bartlet started working for him. TOBY I'll call Mike Raffer on the House Committee. C.J. Thank you. TOBY It's not about you. I'll do pretty much anything to avoid using the words "Mr. President" and "your daughter" in the same sentence. JOSH [prelap] So what did you think of the... CUT TO: INT. - OFFICE - DAY Josh is talking with a man later identified as Eric Hayden. JOSH [cont.] ... Lawrence opinion? HAYDEN You keeping track of the Court these days? JOSH While I'm not color-coding the President's M&M's. HAYDEN You still smarting I had to carry your ass through con law? JOSH You did not carry... HAYDEN You thought strict-scrutiny was a pick-up technique. JOSH Hey, it worked on Pam Sussman. Josh sees the look that Hayden is giving him which is one of disdain. JOSH I mean, not that well. How is your lovely wife? HAYDEN She's good. They sit. HAYDEN So, Georgetown offered me dean of the law school. JOSH That's great, except aren't you a judicial nominee for the Sixth Circuit? HAYDEN I've been a judicial nominee for the Sixth Circuit for 12 months. JOSH You knew the confirmation process would be an uphill battle. HAYDEN Uphill battle? It's more like a permanent gag order. I can't write, I can't publish. Hell, I can't even debate the cases with my students. Not to mention I've had a bull's-eye painted on my back for 12 months. They've called my wife, my brother, my ex-girlfriends. JOSH These things take time. HAYDEN Come on. The Republicans have been blocking your nominations since Bartlet took office. JOSH You drop out, you're going to close this door forever. HAYDEN I'm not sure this door was ever open. JOSH When does Georgetown... HAYDEN Don't do this to me. JOSH When do they need to know? HAYDEN End of the week. JOSH Give me 'til then. HAYDEN To do what? JOSH To fix it. CUT TO: INT. - TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Toby is seated at his desk when Rena comes in. RENA They said they'd call back. TOBY You told Congressman Bentley the White House was calling? Toby Ziegler from the White House? RENA Maybe you're running out of shizzle. I looked up his funding on the NIH's public website. The money for last year's the same as before Ellie Bartlet started working - okay, $14 more. Maybe they gave him a new trash can. TOBY Try Bentley again and look into not-so-direct ways we could be sending money in Dr. Foy's direction. And please don't say "shizzle". CUT TO: INT. - LEO'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. and Leo walk out of Leo's office and start walking down the hallway. C.J. Mrs. Bartlet ditched the Board of Regent's meeting? What, did you find her smoking in the parking lot of the Smithsonian? LEO She was working at the clinic. And she sent a proxy, but Chairwoman Dorothea Langston Lodge is hopping mad and threatening to go to the press. C.J. Hopping mad she had to go the Board of Regent's meeting. LEO We've got an image problem. The stories aren't dying down. The press doesn't know what to do with the First Lady. Nobody does, including the President, which is why he'd like you to sit down with her. C.J. Happy to help. LEO She's in the Mural Room. C.J. Now? I have a... had a lunch. I'm just going to go cancel it. LEO Are you wearing White Shoulders? My piano teacher used to wear White Shoulders. C.J. walks off. LEO Not as much. CUT TO: INT. - C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY Carol is standing in her office and Ben is standing in C.J.'s office. We see C.J. walk up and Carol makes sure she is ready to meet Ben. She walks into her office. C.J. Hi. BEN Hi. C.J. Long time. BEN Yeah. You look great. C.J. You, too. I'm sorry, Ben, I can't have lunch. And I don't have a lot of time. But... you did the dance. You paid your dues. I want you to know that I'm in. BEN What? C.J. Coy is a bad color on me. I'm ready. I'm on board. I want you to count me in because I'm in. She kisses him. C.J. I got to go. Call me later. She walks off. CUT TO: INT. - JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY Josh walks in and speaks to Donna, although she is on the phone. JOSH Did you get Leo? DONNA He's booked. JOSH Tell Margaret I can talk so fast it won't actually take measurable time. DONNA I'm waiting for Rodney. JOSH Who's Rodney? DONNA Ryan's roommate. JOSH Ryan's got a roommate? DONNA He's checking to see if Ryan's in his room because he didn't show up today and it's not like him. JOSH Really? 'Cause it seems exactly like him. DONNA He's never late. He walks in like he's late, but he's not. JOSH Like when you're on a train and the train next to you is pulling away, only it's like... DONNA I wonder if he went back to sleep. JOSH That, or he's dead now, too. Get me Leo. CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM - DAY C.J. and Abbey are seated and they are talking. ABBEY So, what was it? Was it the tube top to meet the Queen of England or the low rise jeans for the North Korean delegation? C.J. Mrs. Bartlet, the press didn't know what to make of you before the MS became public. You've never been the traditional hat-knitting President's wife. ABBEY Oh, shoot. Was that in the handbook? Maybe just get me a photographer and seven year's worth of yarn. C.J. Can you tell me why you decided to volunteer at the free clinic? ABBEY Because, instead of putting out a press release I decided to roll up my sleeves and help treat children. C.J. Is there any particular... ABBEY There are any number of children's health issues I'm concerned with, so I thought it was appropriate to go out and just see what was going on first-hand. C.J. Great. But until the press understands that, they're going to fill in the blanks with self-aggrandizing, craven, vote-grabbing... ABBEY Would you like me to do interviews with the press corps? C.J. God, no! They're the most cynical bastards on the planet. You need to get beyond the Washington echo chamber and speak directly to the people. ABBEY So, what did you have in mind? C.J. I checked out the reject list from your invitation file and there are a few things in her I think you should reconsider: the first of which is Muppets. ABBEY Pardon. C.J. Going on Sesame Street would give you an opportunity to reintroduce yourself as the First Lady who is also a working doctor and address the press's questions about your work at the clinic. Give a muppet a checkup. Get your message out. ABBEY No Meet the Press? C.J. Mrs. Bartlet... ABBEY You don't think I could take Russert? C.J. Why should you? Only five people are watching and it's the toughest interview on the planet. I want you on the Surgery channel, women's health magazines, the Today Show. Mrs. Russell's ratings bumped considerably when she did her cooking segment. Her chili was so good they're having her back for Christmas. ABBEY C.J., you're trying to raise my competitive hackles. C.J. Mrs. Bartlet, if I were trying to raise your competitive hackles, I'd make you watch Diane Sawyer's duet with Cookie Monster. ABBEY Muppets. JOSH I want to set up a meeting... CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY - DAY Josh and Leo are walking to Leo's office. They are talking. JOSH [cont.] ... with the Judiciary Committee's chief of staff. LEO That's a productive use of your time. JOSH Eric Hayden's going to withdraw from the nomination process. Sixth Circuit's got eight empty seats. LEO Empty for a year and a half. JOSH Because the Republican's have been holding up our nominations in committee. LEO What else is new? JOSH At least four of those nominees, including Hayden, would be confirmed in a straight up or down vote if they got out of committee and onto the Senate floor. Meanwhile, over in the judicial branch, the seven remaining judges on the Sixth Circuit are completely overworked, and the number of cases keeps growing. If Hayden withdraws... LEO You want to make him the "Justice Held Hostage" poster boy? JOSH I'm betting the Republicans on the Judiciary Committee don't. How can they afford to block a qualified... They walk out into Margaret's office. LEO They've been blocking our nominations since Roe. If a judge has half an opinion on the right to privacy, it's grounds for killing the nomination. You think you can just waltz in, knock on a few pipes and fix the plumbing? JOSH The Sixth Circuit... LEO It's one lousy appellate court. JOSH Eric Hayden and the eight empty seats epitomize the problem. You don't think it's time to do something? LEO Lunatics. I'm surrounded by lunatics. JOSH I'm going to set up the meeting. LEO I've got ten bucks says you're banging your head against the sink. JOSH Twenty. CUT TO: INT. - TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Toby is on the phone when the worker comes in. TOBY That's what I figured you'd say, Mike, but thanks for checking. RENA You're friend couldn't help? TOBY My friend's a Democrat, which means no one on House Reform who knows anything talks to him. What do you got? RENA Bubkiss.I mean, unless Dr. Foy got some of the $2 billion earmarked for HIV and AIDS research. TOBY Foy's funding didn't come from that money. RENA If this is the President's brand of favoritism, Dr. Foy should find himself a new sugar daddy. TOBY Where's Bentley? RENA I tried him again. His assistant promised she'd have him call you as soon as he gets off the floor. TOBY He's not on the floor. There's no more votes today. He turns on the TV. BARBARA LAYTON is on the TV. BARBARA LAYTON ... a field for scientific study. Now, if someone wants to do a study on "Depression in Childless Lesbians", I can't stop them. TOBY It's Barbara Layton. And there's Bentley standing right next to her. Get C.J. LAYTON I have a list... CUT TO: INT. - C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS C.J. is standing in front of her TV and she is watching the same thing that Toby was watching. LAYTON [cont.] ... of 255 projects supported by the Bartlet administration... CAROL C.J., it's Toby. C.J. Tell him I'm already watching. LAYTON Dr. Gloria Buezo, $1,788,000. Dr. Lewis Foy... C.J. Damn it. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE. * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. - LOBBY - WHITE HOUSE - DAY Toby is walking through the lobby. C.J. joins him and walks with him. C.J. She has a list. She made a list. Didn't lists go out with Joe McCarthy and hula-hoops? And haven't these 255 scientists had to go through a rigorous review process before getting a dollar? TOBY They knew about Ellie. Bentley and Layton knew that if they questioned Dr. Foy, Ellie would contact us and we'd come knocking hard and fast, and I walked right into it. It's a full-frontal attack and Layton's not going to stop until she gets her televised investigation. C.J. You think Layton doesn't care about science? TOBY She didn't have an opinion on artistic expression then and she helped dismantle the NEA. C.J. Let's not even dignify it. Put out a neutral statement saying the White House has no role in the NIH review process. Refer all questions to the National Institutes of Health. TOBY We might want the fight. We've just got to find out what it is first. [louder] Rena, get me a copy of that list. RENA I'm right here. TOBY Find out everything you can about the projects and the investigators. How the list was put together. RENA Okay. TOBY Get on the NIH's website. Look for keywords that appear in the project title; like "heroin", "men who sleep with men". C.J. They're coming after us. TOBY Yeah. We can't put our pieces on the board until we know what game we're playing. Just don't do anything. Just don't say anything. We can't... we don't want Ellie's name spilling out because we pressed the wrong button. C.J. If we don't respond, it'll look like we have no response. I'm going to need a party line. TOBY I'll talk to Leo. CUT TO: INT. - LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo and Toby are talking. LEO No, no, no. Not one of the daughters. TOBY They haven't involved Ellie yet. LEO You know what happens if the President finds out Ellie's being dragged into a political tar pit: we won't be able to get him to focus on his breakfast order because he'll be asking for the launch codes. What's C.J. think? TOBY That we should hang back with a neutral statement. LEO Hiding under the covers isn't going to work. Margaret! Set up a meeting with Toby and Layton for tomorrow morning. Let's see if we can't negotiate our way out. TOBY A meeting's a statement. Our guys will think we've caved, her folks will crow. You know she's not sitting down unless she comes away with a pound of flesh. LEO That's why I gave you until tomorrow morning. MARGARET The NSC principles are in the Sit Room. LEO Thanks. [to Toby] I'm sorry, but can we really justify spending $800,000 on "A Bio-Cultural Approach to the Study of Female Sexual Fantasy and Genital Arousal"? Leo hands Toby a piece of paper as he is walking out. TOBY How can we afford not to? CUT TO: INT. - OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Debbie is seated at her desk. Abbey is sitting beside her. Charlie is also present. DEBBIE And the President was wondering if you'll be joining him at the reception for Congressman Scaia. ABBEY You bet. DEBBIE Mrs. Bartlet... people are talking and I was wondering if you could confirm... ABBEY Yes, Debbie. The Muppets are coming to our very own White House. DEBBIE I had the good fortune of seeing Judy Garland live at Carnegie Hall, but Miss Piggy--here... it's just too much. CHARLIE Debbie's a big fan. ABBEY And your not? CHARLIE I'm crazy for Muppets. I'm just trying to act cool. DEBBIE Ma'am, will Fozzie Bear be in the house? ABBEY Interestingly, Fozzie and Miss Piggy aren't actually a part of the Sesame Street gang. They're from The Muppet Show. DEBBIE And what about Kermit? ABBEY He is the only crossover. DEBBIE Oh. CUT TO: INT. - JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY Josh comes in and speaks to Donna, who is getting some coffee. JOSH Set me a meeting with the judiciary chief of staff. DONNA Lisa Wolfe? JOSH We're gonna put butts in seats. I'm packing the court. DONNA Because of Eric Hayden. JOSH Because of Eric Hayden, because the Sixth Circuit's in crisis, because the judicial nomination process is a complete mess. DONNA Is this some kind of over-determined, do-something-impossible-to-impress-the-guy-who-impressed-you-stole-your-girlfriend-in-law-school kind of thing? JOSH He didn't steal my girlfriend. I thought Pam was cute, but when I saw she had eyes for Hayden I bowed out like a gentleman. Also, there's nothing I take more seriously than getting judges on the federal bench. They walk into Josh's office. DONNA What about getting judges on the Supreme Court? JOSH You see, this is the problem. It's all about the Supreme Court. Nine guys getting all the ink. DONNA Actually, it's seven guys and two highly-qualified female jurists. JOSH The Supreme Court sees 80 cases a year. These guys see close to 20,000. Circuit courts make 99% of judge-made law. DONNA Oh, that is important. You should fix that. Ryan's still missing, by the way. Donna walks out of the office. CUT TO: INT. - C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY Will comes into C.J.'s office to talk to her. WILL What do C.J. and Big Bird have in common? C.J. This'll be fun because no one's ever made a joke about me and Big Bird before. WILL Your heads are in Ohio and your feet are in Florida. C.J. Wouldn't that make us not so much tall as crooked? WILL Oh. Maybe. Is this Layton thing going to stick? C.J. Too soon to tell. WILL It's hard to imagine she'll get any kind of traction. If I had a nickel for every Republican demagogue bloviating about our pansy-assed priorities... C.J. They do like to bloviate. WILL I mean, isn't that what the floor is for? Anyway... C.J. Do you want insight into Layton? Toby's tangled with her. WILL No, I was just... Thanks. He leaves. CUT TO: INT. - OFFICE - DAY Josh is talking with the judiciary chief of staff, LISA WOLFE. LISA WOLFE Josh. JOSH Hello, Lisa. Let's talk about the Sixth Circuit. WOLFE Not much to talk about. JOSH Court's got eight empty seats. WOLFE And not a single confirmable nominee. JOSH Really? Seems like Eric Hayden's good for 53 "yea" votes on the Senate floor. WOLFE That seems unlikely. JOSH So you heard he's planning to withdraw? WOLFE No. But it wouldn't surprise me. JOSH Surprised me. And I've got a feeling the American public's going to be shocked when they hear what the committee's doing to the Sixth Circuit. WOLFE Protecting one of the most important courts in the land from being overrun by the Green Party? JOSH Whoa, whoa. The Green Party? WOLFE Hayden gave a speech on gay rights five years ago in which he said the courts should make sodomy laws unconstitutional. JOSH The court just made sodomy laws unconstitutional. WOLFE Yes. Let me tell you, our base was thrilled with that decision. JOSH The press is already writing stories about the state of affairs on the Sixth Circuit. It's time to fix this thing. It's in both our interests. WOLFE Talk more. JOSH We start with Hayden. WOLFE And the Sixth Circuit. JOSH You guys show a little good faith we'll sit down, knock back a few beers, see what we can do to fix the greater problem. WOLFE Okay. You want to convince the Republicans on the committee we're starting anew, you're going to need some new nominees. JOSH Confirm Hayden and we'll discuss it. She shakes her head. JOSH They're going to have to fill some of those seats eventually. WOLFE I don't think so. JOSH They can't hold out forever. WOLFE They can hold out for three years. JOSH They can't. It's half the court. For six months they've left half the seats on the Sixth Circuit... WOLFE The Sixth Circuit? How about 15% of the federal bench? JOSH What? WOLFE 120 vacant seats. 120 empty robes during the last Republican presidency. Didn't hear Governor Bartlet complaining then. Do you think I like this? Do you think I think this is the way our government should function? I'm a Republican and I've spent every day of the past five years wondering whether judges shouldn't be appointed by executive decree. It's a political process. You want to fill the Sixth Circuit you've got to send us someone we can confirm. CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - DAY Rena is sitting at her desk. Toby walks over and she hands him some papers. RENA The staff assistants in Layton's office were so happy to give me the list I swear I heard a band playing. So, why should we be studying female sex-workers at truck stops? TOBY What's the purpose of the study? To try to improve and protect the public's health, scientists have a responsibility to study whatever they think will lead them to answers. RENA And we have to pay for it? TOBY Yeah, if they're conducted ethically and have merit. RENA But you said scientist's... TOBY [reading] "Doesn't approve of HIV being spread through sexual contact. Drug addicts have made bad personal choices." One congresswoman doesn't get to appoint herself God. Anything else? RENA Yes. I did a Google search for all of those project titles and the same website kept coming up. They walk out into the Communications Office. RENA I'm sorry, so, I'm supposed to raise my kid on $650 a week and shell out for research of safe injection practices among heroin users? TOBY Yes. You have a kid? RENA Yeah, I have a little girl. Toby hits some buttons on the computer and a website comes up. TOBY The Traditional Values Alliance? RENA They represent a bunch of church groups. TOBY Yeah. Some 50,000 of them. It's the same list. Get me Mack McCall from the Traditional Values Alliance on the phone, now. CUT TO: INT. - LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo is eating lunch and Josh is talking to him. LEO Where's my 20 bucks? JOSH How do you feel about executive decrees? LEO Love 'em. I'm making one. I want my money. JOSH Hold on there. I want to talk about recess appointments. LEO A recess appointment? JOSH Not just one. Eight of 'em. Every vacant seat on the Sixth Circuit. LEO Uh-huh, fork it over. JOSH Leo. LEO The appointments are only going to last for nine months, then we got to nominate these guys again and we're back to square one. JOSH It's not square one. We increase public awareness, we re-examine the process... LEO We have our own little Whiskey Rebellion on the floor of the Senate. JOSH In response to which we circulate a bio of every one of our new judges, let the country decide who's in the right. If we're going to have a national debate, it's got to be on our terms. LEO Somebody's going to ask if it's constitutional. JOSH Chief Justice Warren thought so. LEO Earl Warren approved? JOSH Earl Warren was one. Along with Brennan and Potter Stewart. LEO I'll run it up the flagpole. JOSH Here you go. Josh goes to hand him the money, but snatches it away at the last minute. CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY - OUTSIDE C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY Charlie and C.J. are walking along the hallway. They are talking. C.J. I don't know, Charlie, C.J. and Big Bird are so tall that what? CHARLIE When you do cartwheels... C.J. ... we kick God in the chin. When we trip on a rock we hit our heads on the moon, when we do push-ups we burn our backs on the sun. CHARLIE And you read the Tall Street Journal. C.J. Go away. C.J. walks into Carol's office. CAROL Dems have scheduled special-order speeches in defense of pure science, pro-family groups are coming to Layton's defense. There's a letter signed by 237 members of the National Academy of Science calling the list "Scientific McCarthyism", and the head of the NIH just put out a statement. C.J. "I have order an immediate review of all relevant projects." Great. C.J. walks into her office. Abbey is there. ABBEY There's a whole new world of Sesame Street since my girls were little. Gordon and Susan have gotten married. Maria has a daughter that's almost grown. C.J. What about Bob? We see Ben walk up to the door behind C.J. ABBEY Bob is still there, he looks fantastic. You have a handsome man in your doorway. C.J. Carol. CAROL He really needed to talk to you. Abbey walks around to introduce herself to Abbey. ABBEY Hello. I'm Abbey Bartlet. BEN Ben Dryer, ma'am. ABBEY Yes. But who are you to our C.J.? BEN That's an excellent question, Mrs. Bartlet. C.J. Would you excuse us a moment? ABBEY Nice to meet you. They walk out to talk. C.J. Whatever this is, it isn't a good time. BEN What... what does that mean, 'You're in"? C.J. You... me... together. BEN We haven't seen each other in six years. We haven't slept together in 15. So, what, are we engaged? I have a daughter. I have an ex-wife. I have and ex-wife's mother that I have to take care of. What, are we gonna have kids? Because we should probably get cracking. C.J. I didn't... BEN Yeah. Toby walks up. TOBY Excuse me. Hi. Hi. Sorry. Toby pulls C.J. aside and Ben walks off. TOBY I just got off the phone with Mack McCall of the Traditional Values Alliance. The $2 million earmarked for AIDS research is actually a "pseudo-scientific slush-fund for the President's daughter." C.J. She doesn't work in HIV. They're kooks. TOBY With a press conference that's gonna get coverage on national TV. C.J. Oh, my God. TOBY And where is Ellie? The press is gonna be all over her. C.J. We've got about thirty minutes to keep her under wraps. Toby picks up a nearby phone. TOBY Ron Butterfield. C.J. walks toward Carol's office. C.J. Carol, get me the Washington bureau chief. CAROL C.J.? C.J. looks at the screen and sees a news story and that Ellie Bartlet is on the TV. C.J. Toby. She points to the TV. Toby sees the news story. C.J. looks at Abbey who has also seen the story. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO. * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. - OFFICE - WHITE HOUSE - DAY We see on a TV screen a story about Ellie Bartlet. REPORTER Dr. Bartlet is, of course, the President's daughter, a post-doctoral fellow at Johns Hopkins where she studies Human Papilloma Virus, or HPV, in Puerto Rican sex workers... We pan to the hallway to see C.J., Josh, and Toby walking and talking. JOSH So, she okay? C.J. The Secret Service was right there. We hear Bartlet yelling very loudly from the Oval Office. BARTLET [OS] How is this possible?! This is my family! What the hell are you people thinking?! C.J. Oh my. TOBY I'd yell, too. They walk into the Outer Oval Office. Bartlet is still yelling, although we can't hear what he is saying. JOSH How can the Traditional Values Alliance link AIDS money to what Ellie does? Aren't AIDS and HPV different areas of research? C.J. They're both below the waist. DEBBIE HPV is a sexually transmitted virus that's been linked to cervical cancer. BARTLET [OS] AH, get them the hell in here! Leo opens the door to the Oval Office. LEO Come on. They walk in. BARTLET When the NIH was founded, the idea was simple: Identify the best research as defined by scientists themselves. And now these people, who are not even scientists, have answered all the questions before any science has been done? Have you seen one of these grant applications? We're lucky Einstein didn't have to fill one out or God knows what "E" would equal. [pause] So, tell me what you're doing with yourselves, 'cause right now I feel like I might as well let loose a bunch of buzzards in Ellie's apartment for all the good you're doing me. C.J. We're pretty sure Layton's known about Ellie since the beginning, but she's been covering her tracks by having Bentley call other researchers as well. LEO What do you propose? TOBY Let's just make a statement and call it what it is: "People who don't like you using you daughter as a partisan pinata." C.J. I don't want to engage with them. JOSH We have to fight back. C.J. I'm not saying we shouldn't. JOSH The public's health is at stake. We're going to sit back and let moralistic dogma replace scientific method? Penicillin, human genetics, Rogaine. These were all discovered with no practical objective in mind. TOBY It's not about that. C.J. It is, Toby, cause that's what's on the table. BARTLET Let's get Layton over here. I'm not cooperating with any kind of investigation. [to C.J.] And I want you to pull the passes of every White House reporter who filed on this. C.J. Sir, I can only imagine how angry you must be. BARTLET Damn it! Ellie's never sought or accepted public office! She's not running that lab, She's a research fellow! They can take all the shots they want at me, but these people have to understand when they attack my family, there's going to be consequences. JOSH Sir, if we punish the Congresswoman or the press, we make it more of a story. TOBY I think we can discredit Layton. LEO How's that? TOBY She got her hit list from a political action group whose other website is "TheLordhateshomos.org." Bartlet scoffs. BARTLET Ellie's never asked for anything. Hell, I had to beg her to come to my first Inaugural Ball. She had some kind of exam. I talked to the professor, asked him to reschedule it. I think she's still mad at me. Abbey and I have been very clear: we won't use them, you can't, either. We've never even put the girls on a White House Christmas card. Abbey and Ellie walk in from the portico. ELLIE Dad, I'm sorry about all of this. CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY - WHITE HOUSE - DAY Toby and C.J. are walking. C.J. walks past Toby as though she might be mad at him. TOBY What? I didn't support you? C.J. No, I'm just tired. I thought I'd have somewhere to go tonight other than my office. I wore perfume. TOBY What happened with Ben? C.J. I wrecked it. TOBY Wow. Is that a record? C.J. Personal best. TOBY Did you like him? C.J. Yeah. TOBY Really? C.J. Yeah. TOBY Go fix it. C.J. Uh... TOBY It's all I've got. Toby walks off. CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - DAY Toby walks into the Communications office. Rena is standing at her desk and Will is standing at Toby's door. TOBY Call Layton's office. Tell 'em I'm coming over right now. [to Will] You need something? WILL How did Layton get the list? TOBY Russell gonna weigh in on "Scientific McCarthyism"? WILL No. I need to find out... Toby gets his coat and puts it on. TOBY Now's not good. RENA Thanks, Julie, you rock. You're all set to see Layton. They're expecting you any time. TOBY Please don't say "You rock." CUT TO: EXT. - DC STREET - DAY Josh and Hayden are walking along a street and they are talking. JOSH I didn't have much luck with the Judiciary Committee. HAYDEN I didn't expect you would. JOSH But the President is seriously considering a number of recess appointments. HAYDEN A number? JOSH You and the other seven nominees to the Sixth Circuit. It'll be bumpy, but once the public sees your credentials, we're confident that... HAYDEN You think it'll give the President a nice lift in the polls? JOSH No. I mean, I'm sure it can't hurt, but that's... HAYDEN I can't be your martyr, Josh. JOSH I'm not asking. HAYDEN They didn't confirm me now, they're sure as hell not going to confirm me nine months from now. You think Georgetown's just going to wait around? I've got two kids, a wife, a mortgage. JOSH I'm just trying... HAYDEN You're trying to win. In my first semester at Harvard, one of my students helped 30 retired steelworkers file a class-action suit, an action under ERISA. They were old men, just struggling to get by because the mill refused to award them their federally guaranteed pension. So six years later, ten of the plaintiffs have passed on and the court still hasn't gotten to their case. You throw dirt at them. They throw dirt at you. It's never going to stop! JOSH So you're just going to hide at Georgetown and complain about it? Let's do something! We're firing a shot here. Maybe we won't win the war, but come on, Hayden, you are one of the brightest guys I have ever known. You got nine months. Let's show 'em what you can do. CUT TO: INT. - RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY Ellie is seated at the table and is working on her laptop. Bartlet walks in. BARTLET Hey. ELLIE Hey. BARTLET Did you know that patents and copyrights were invented to encourage private patronage of science and technology? It didn't work, of course. ELLIE Maybe they should have thrown in a free football phone. BARTLET I'm really sorry about today. ELLIE Yeah, well, if I'd known I was going to be on TV I would have blow-dried. BARTLET There's always been tension between science and policy. You know, we used to terrible things to you people because we were never ready to hear what you had to say. I know of one guy they were ready to carve up with instruments of torture because he had this silly idea that the Earth revolved around the sun. ELLIE If this is an object lesson about how scientists have it better today because there's no Inquisition... BARTLET I enjoy talking about Galileo, and don't you start with me! ELLIE It's apocryphal, Dad. A story for tourists. If Galileo had muttered "It still moves" after they made him recant his life's work, they would have killed him on the spot, and I don't know why I let you do this to me! [pause] I promised Dr. Foy I'd have this stuff to him by tonight. BARTLET He'll understand. ELLIE I hate that he has to. I don't want to ask him. I just want to go sit in my office and look at my data. What? BARTLET I wish you could do that, too. ELLIE But I can't. BARTLET If you believe in what you're doing, you have to speak up. She gets up and goes to the refrigerator. ELLIE Our work speaks for itself. BARTLET It's not enough. I'm sorry you had the misfortune to be born in this family, but our business is politics. ELLIE Your business. BARTLET This whole thing started because I earmarked $2 billion dollars of the federal research budget for HIV/AIDS research. ELLIE What does that have to do with...? BARTLET Just because you like what I earmarked doesn't mean I didn't politicize science just like Barbara Layton's trying to do. This is the real world. My enemies will never stop going after you. But if Dr. Foy is investigated, you need to be right by his side. And C.J. can help you with a statement. ELLIE No. BARTLET When Galileo said "Eppur si muove", it meant that he would continue no matter what to study and publish. ELLIE I get nosebleeds, Dad. BARTLET Even though he had to live under house arrest and write in secret. ELLIE I couldn't stand up to a damn book report! It's easy for Zoey and Liz. You and Mom love the attention. BARTLET Science can't wall itself off from controversy. It has to live by it! ELLIE It's not me, Dad. It's not. She walks back to the table and sits down. CUT TO: INT. - CONGRESSWOMAN LAYTON'S OFFICE - DAY Toby walks up to Layton's secretary's desk. Layton is standing there. LAYTON [to secretary] It's a red letter day and I just happened to be here to celebrate with you. Toby, hi. TOBY Congresswoman. LAYTON I'm sorry about the mess, but one of my assistants just had her thesis published. They walk into her office. LAYTON Please. They sit. LAYTON Nobody wants to blow up the NIH here. I promise I won't even mention the Supercollider. TOBY No, you guys pretty much took care of that one already. LAYTON I hope you will convey my deepest sympathy that the President's daughter has been dragged into all of this. TOBY I'll do that. He'll be delighted to hear that we won't be seeing anything about Ellie Bartlet in your fundraising materials. LAYTON It wasn't my decision for her to go work in a lab doing questionable research on Uncle Sam's dime. TOBY And you decide what's questionable? LAYTON It's my job. I'm on the authorizing committee for that money. There's nothing wrong with healthy scrutiny. TOBY Healthy scrutiny, not subjective attack. Your list isn't about priorities. It's about imposing ideology and religious doctrine on the awarding of individual scientific grants. LAYTON It's the taxpayers' money. TOBY Your disapproval of high-risk behaviour is justification for stifling the research to reduce it? LAYTON I don't have a problem with homosexuals, or injection-drug users. But there is only one pie, and we're talking about using $2 billion dollars of it on the small percentage of the population with HIV, which will mean cutting funding on Alzheimer's, muscular dystrophy, and diabetes, multiple sclerosis. TOBY Oh, good. The MS card. This doesn't have to be one or the other. LAYTON One in eight women will get breast cancer and at least 15% of those aren't going to live five years after the diagnosis. Every dollar you spend on studies of Puerto Rican sex workers is one that you take away from cancer centers and clinical tests. TOBY You don't know that. You don't know where undirected research will lead. You're not a scientist and neither are the members of the Traditional Values Alliance. What are you doing in bed with these people? LAYTON No, I'm not. TOBY I spoke with Mack McCall. LAYTON Oh, Mack McCall will take credit for anything that will get his name in the paper. TOBY You got your list from the Traditional Values Alliance. LAYTON I didn't. TOBY Your lists are identical. LAYTON There's a lot of people who care about this issue. A lot of prominent people, on both sides of the aisle. You'd be surprised, Toby. [pause] It was nice seeing you again. She gets up and goes to her desk. Toby gets up and leaves. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE. * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: EXT. - WHITE HOUSE - DAY We see an exterior shot of the White House. CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATION'S OFFICE - DAY We see Toby walking into his office. C.J. and Rena are waiting for him when he gets there. C.J. I've got Muppets in, like, two minutes but I wanted to... TOBY Layton claims she didn't get her list from the Traditional Values Alliance. C.J. She didn't. Rena? RENA When I first checked Dr. Foy's research funding on the NIH website, it said he had $14 more this year. TOBY Right... the trash can. RENA Right. But when Layton's list came out, the extra $14 weren't there. Now there were other discrepancies between the two lists, but they were so small I figured it was just human error. TOBY So, Layton's list is up-to-date and the TVA's list isn't? C.J. Which makes sense. It's a public website. Probably not updated regularly. RENA But the 14 bucks kept bugging me, so I checked Layton's list against our internal, NIH generated... C.J. ... very un-public list. And... TOBY And... they're the same? RENA Yeah. See? No trash can. C.J. Our list was put out two weeks ago. She couldn't have gotten that information unless... TOBY ... unless whoever put this list together works inside the administration. C.J. At first I thought it was Stephen James from HHS, because I know he hates the President. And then I thought it was the passive-aggressive recycling guy, and... A look of certainty comes to Toby's face. C.J. You know who it is? TOBY Yeah. He gets up and leaves. Carol walks up to the office as he is leaving. CAROL I have new pages. C.J. This is not what we agreed on. CAROL I think the First Lady had some strong ideas about her character. CUT TO: INT. - OEOB - HALLWAY - DAY Will and a woman are walking. As they come to a doorway, Will sees Toby standing outside. He speaks to the woman. WILL I'll catch up. She walks away. TOBY If I were the Vice President's Chief of Staff, gearing up for the next campaign, I might be doing some thinking about our own weaknesses, trying to imagine how-how our opposition might be viewing us, with regards to say... health care spending priorities. WILL It was for my eyes only. No one here knew about it except me. TOBY Yeah, well, the experiment got out of the lab, huh? WILL You didn't do opposition research in the last campaign? TOBY That's what vaults are for. WILL I honestly have no idea how it got to the Congresswoman. TOBY Yeah? WILL I came to talk to you about it yesterday, but you threw me out. TOBY Maybe if you had started the conversation by saying, "I just outed the President's daughter on national TV". That would've gotten my attention. WILL So, you must be happy. Maybe if I had stuck around, I wouldn't be making amateur mistakes, committing career suicide. TOBY I don't give a damn if you left opposition research in a FAX, did you or did you not willfully target the President's daughter? WILL Of course not. TOBY I'll take you at your word this was a mistake. Whatever the hell else you want to do about it is your own business. He walks away. WILL Thank you. CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY - WHITE HOUSE - DAY C.J. is sitting on a bench. We see Big Bird walk up and sit down beside her. Several people walk by and stare at them. Finally, C.J. gets up and leaves. CUT TO: INT. - PREP ROOM - DAY The Muppets and actors are getting ready for Abbey's show. Donna is speaking to a green Muppet. DONNA I never do this. I'm a little nervous. GREEN MUPPET Don't be silly. Wow! You have beautiful hair. DONNA Oh, my God, that's so sweet. I actually need to get it cut, but thanks. MUPPET Oh. We pan to see Ellie and Debbie standing in a doorway. ELLIE Is everything okay? DEBBIE It's just that I thought, well, Kermit was going to be here, but you know, it's no big deal. Ellie laughs. DEBBIE I didn't know you studied HPV. ELLIE Yeah. DEBBIE My sister died of cervical cancer. ELLIE I'm so sorry. DEBBIE She was 37. It was really fast. We didn't know then. Nobody knew it was connected to HPV. ELLIE Yeah. DEBBIE I hear there's a vaccine coming. ELLIE Yeah, that's what we've been working on. DEBBIE Work harder. Debbie walks off. We see that Abbey is standing next to Elmo, who is sitting on a table. ELMO Boy, going to a doctor is not so bad after all. [he laughs] Oh, that tickles! ABBEY Okay, and one, two, three. She taps his knee with a reflex hammer. ELMO Oh, that was fun. Do the other one. ABBEY Ok, Elmo. It's time for your vaccination and I'm going to give you a little injection. ELMO But Mrs. Doctor Abbey, First Lady Doctor, will it hurt Elmo? ABBEY Well, maybe just a tiny little bit, but it's very important. ELMO Wait a minute. Didn't you give up your medical license? Everybody laughs. ELMO Do you have a diploma you could show Elmo? Everybody laughs some more. CUT TO: INT. - LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo is on the phone when Josh comes in. Leo indicates that he will be off soon. LEO Yeah. ... Let me know if there's anything I can do. He hangs up the phone. JOSH Hayden's on board. LEO Hayden. JOSH I got him. He called Georgetown, he's ready to... LEO Yeah, we're gonna have to put that on hold. We just lost a Supreme Court Justice... JOSH Lost? LEO Dead. JOSH Justice Ashland's dead? LEO Justice Brady. Owen Brady. Heart attack. JOSH What was he, 45? LEO 52. JOSH Justice Brady. Republicans are gonna go nuts. I just saw him. Margaret walks in. MARGARET Leo. You've got the head of the Senate Judiciary Committee on line three. LEO I'll take it. CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM - DAY Several people, including Abbey, Debbie, and C.J., are watching Abbey's show from earlier. C.J. walks over to talk to Abbey. While C.J. is talking to Abbey, Ben walks in the door. C.J. You did well. ABBEY If there's any kind of firestorm, I promise I'll handle it. C.J. I know. ABBEY Your handsome man's back. C.J. walks over to him. C.J. Thank you for coming back. BEN Thank you for calling. Ellie walks up. ELLIE C.J., can you help me with something? Ben sighs and C.J. kisses him on the cheek. She follows Ellie out of the room. CUT TO: INT. - OEOB - HALLWAY - DAY Will is walking down the hallway. He walks around the corner and into the Vice President's secretary's office. WILL He in there? SECRETARY Go on in. CUT TO: INT. - VICE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS We hear a knock at the door and Will comes in. RUSSELL What can I do for you, Will? WILL We have to talk about the NIH list. I, uh, told them I'm the only one who's seen it. I thought the research would be useful. I thought it was a good idea. RUSSELL It was a good idea. I heard you played "Bad Cop-Bad Cop" with the entire staff trying to find out who leaked it to Layton. WILL Doesn't one of your wife's charities have to do with breast cancer? RUSSELL The National Foundation. WILL Congresswoman Layton's on the board of that foundation, too. Isn't she? RUSSELL What's your point? WILL There may be speculation... RUSSELL My wife feels very strongly about this work. WILL Is it possible she may have shared her information with Barbara Layton? RUSSELL Barb? Yeah. It's possible. WILL You're going to need to tell the President, sir. RUSSELL Am I? WILL It's going to come out, sir. The list is all over town. RUSSELL Well, maybe that's not so bad. It wasn't my plan, but it might be a happy accident. Just the thing we need to put a little distance between us and them. I wouldn't worry about. Russell gets up. RUSSELL I really wouldn't. That will be all. WILL Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Vice President. Will leaves and we follow him down the hall. ELLIE [prelap] While money spent studying the brains of PCP users... CUT TO: INT. - BRIEFING ROOM - DAY Ellie is standing at the podium and she is giving a statement. ELLIE [cont.] ... might seem to be taxpayer waste, this research led directly to the discovery of the NMDA receptor. CUT TO: INT. - OEOB - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS We see Will walking down the hall and we can hear Ellie's voice. ELLIE [VO] Science cannot exist in a vacuum. By nature it's an open enterprise, strengthened by public scrutiny. CUT TO: INT. - BRIEFING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Ellie is still giving her statement. ELLIE [cont.] Openness is the basis of a free society. But when science is attacked on ideological grounds, its integrity and usefulness are threatened. CUT TO: INT. - RESIDENCE - SITTING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Bartlet and Abbey are watching Ellie's statement. ELLIE [cont.] Independent peer-reviewed research is the cornerstone of science in America. It shouldn't be about the left or the right, but what works to keep people safe and healthy. I believe all Americans... CUT TO: INT. - OEOB - WILL'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Will walks into his office and we can see Ellie giving her statement on the TV. Will sets down at his desk and looks off, contemplating. ELLIE [cont.] ... and all people everywhere, no matter who they are or how they live, deserve research to improve their lives. Thomas Jefferson said, "We must not be afraid to follow the truth wherever it may lead." Scientific truth ennobles us. It tells us who we are, where we've been, and where we're going. I believe the truth will only be found when all scientists are free to pursue it. Thank you. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END. * * * The West Wing episode 5.16 "Eppur Si Muove", original air date 3 March, 2004.