When a Republican Supreme Court justice suddenly dies, the Bartlet administration scrambles to find a worthy replacement, and the halls are filled with candidates. But the President senses that the process is a political minefield until Josh devises a wild plan that could also create an opening for Evelyn Baker Lang (Glenn Close), a liberal who would be an unthinkable choice. Potential judicial nominees visit the West Wing offices and are interviewed–some serving only as decoys to confuse the press. But everyone gets curious when the President meets with Christopher Mulready (William Fichtner), a bright but conservative judge.
THE WEST WING #105 [5-17] The Supremes Written by Deborah Cahn Directed by Jessica Yu TRANSCRIBED BY LORI JO VINCENT FOR TWIZ TV.COM. ++ Lori Jo Vincent is not a professional transcriptionist, just a West Wing enthusiast and does not claim perfection in the transcript work.++ Guest Characters Roy Ashland - Milo O'Shea Evelyn Baker Lang - Glenn Close Christopher Mulready - William Flechtner Other Characters Owen Brady Malkin Ryan Pierce Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt Lisa Wolfe E. Bradford Shelton Margaret Debbie Fiderer Marina ____________ TEASER DONNA [on phone to Josh] Tony a Justice. Kolbets a Justice. Citizens first rung for America. Arch Bishop. JOSH What?! DONNA Remal of New York. Man of God. MONDAY MORNING JOSH [in Crowd] I can't hear a damn... Excuse me please. Thank You. Why are these people up so early? DONNA It's a Supreme Court seat. They have to assign his seat before Second Justice Brady drops dead. They also sent me a list. Said find the old list. Listen to this. JOSH They calvilarily sacrificed the unborn innocence and back arms the reaper, the horseman and the apocalyptic end. The Kymbos is a word you wish get used more. Someone out there is selling ______ Jesus nominee t-shirts out there. DONNA Fairyland registered. JOSH [meets Donna in hall] You want this? DONNA You don't like it? JOSH Not Really. [Senior Staff Meeting in Leo's office] JOSH Sorry I'm late. LEO Young Leadership is in with the President. JOSH They give us more names? LEO I'm sure they are. TOBY I need the short list by the end of the week. LEO Your schedule. Your schedule. Mine. Keep 'em quick. You got 3 judges and hour. C.J. Who has Austin Jurelly from Connecticut? TOBY Me. C.J. ACOU called about him. I don't think it'll be a problem asking him about the migrant worker saying he wrote. JOSH Why isn't Haskins on it? LEO Having trouble with his clerk. MARGARET Toby - Duart on line 2. LEO [whispers] C.J.'s concerned. TOBY [on phone] Hello. Yes Anna. No we're not having a party over deputy seat court justices. Well, not a big party. [hangs up] JOSH Baker Lang? LEO Short circuit JOSH Isn't she kinda a lefty? LEO Yeah C.J. Decoy Josh. Do it in your office someplace where the press can see her. LEO Well the left flanks sufficient on the mollified and the right flanks sufficient and we panic so as to inspire reconciliation on all flanks. JOSH Flanks should do the trick. TOBY Put Fred Cannibary down so as most people won't consider. C.J. Baker Lang's just with Josh? LEO You want Toby too? C.J. It'll look more like we're taking her seriously. LEO Toby, Baker Lang will be your 8:45 with Josh. Let's go people. First one to find me a Supreme Court Justice gets a fee corned beef sandwich. [JOSH, TOBY and Lang in Roosevelt room for first interview] JOSH Obviously we're impressed with your record. TOBY You worked on the 14th Amendment in particular. Is the stuff dreams are made of. JOSH But before anything else, we want to gauge your interest level. This will certainly be a life style... EVELYN We can just chat JOSH I'm sorry? EVELYN I hear you really went to bat for Eric Haden. JOSH I wish we could have gotten him confirmed. TOBY Judge Lang, if the President... EVELYN Is he still teaching? JOSH Eric? Yah. TOBY Umm... JOSH Again if we... EVELYN A conservative anchor just died. A young brilliant thinker who brought the right out of the closet and championed a whole conservative revival. You cannot replace Owen Brady with a woman who overturned a parental consent law. You'd be shish-ka-bob'd and set aflame on the south lawn. 2 reporters have... 3 reporters have walked by since we started. I'm window dressing. That's fine. I'm happy to help. But let's just chat about the weather. [in Hallway] JOSH Now that's what we're talking about. Maybe we should put her on the short list. TOBY Yeah [sarcastically] JOSH OK, who's next? DONNA This says [as they exchange files] JOSH That says NO. Fade Out End of Teaser ****************** ACT I [Donna's cubicle] DONNA Sign please. JOSH You want to move it so I can see? DONNA Not really JOSH Why are we apologizing to Ashland? DONNA We sent him flowers... condolence flowers. JOSH Condolences? DONNA For his death. JOSH He's alive. DONNA That's what he said. JOSH We sent flowers to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court on the occasion of his death? DONNA They're supposed to go to Justice Bradly's family. JOSH Get protocol on the phone. DONNA They didn't actually.... JOSH We did this?! DONNA It was an honest mistake. Ashland's 80, he's knock knock knocking on .... JOSH Who put the order in? [RYAN Pierce enters] RYAN Hey guys! JOSH You sent a funeral bouquet to the family of the living breathing Chief Justice of the Supreme Court? RYAN No I sent them to the other guy, Brady. JOSH No, actually you didn't. RYAN This is terrible. Umm... I really apologize. You know I am a nightmare with details. It's embarrassing. This stuff just leaks out of my head. We should leave the detail work to Donna. She's go the head for it. I'm more of a big picture kind of guy. [DONNA leaves] JOSH She's here because she's invaluable. You're here because your uncle's so powerful I can't fire you. Big Picture. [LISA Wolfe enters] LISA Hi. Bad time? JOSH I'm on my way out. LISA 2 minutes. RYAN Lisa, right? You work for the Judiciary Committee. LISA Staff Director. RYAN Ryan Pierce, we met in my office. JOSH Excuse us. [Walking down hall] LISA Is he the one who flipped the car in Nice? JOSH Yah. LISA When do I see names for Brady's seat? JOSH Do you want to let the body cool? LISA Your meeting with Bardwall, Gerelli, Evelyn Baker Lang. Who's acid trip is that? JOSH Just take a breath. LISA _______ is not going to let the balance of the court hurl wildly to the left. You fill Bradley's seat... JOSH It's not Brady's seat. LISA It's not your Senate. JOSH We're just looking at the field. LISA Gerelli ahs a fondness for Vicatin and Evelyn Lang is not an option. Save us all some time. JOSH We're some democrats over here. We're not going to nominate a born again elk hunter with a tattoo of the confederate flag on his ass. LISA Look at Arthur Lopez or Brad Shelton or Myra Hieght. You go with Bardwall or Lang and the Senate is going to make the next year of your life a living hell. I tell you this as a person who would be your friend if I was a person who looked for different things in friends. JOSH You should drop in more often. LISA As often as it takes. [LEO's office] LEO [on phone] We don't' hate Asians. No we don't. Justice Wong is more valuable to us where he is. TOBY Certainly LEO Thank you sir. [hangs up] A drive by with Sebastian. Massachusetts Supreme. TOBY Yup. You were looking for me? LEO You hear about a congressional delegation to the Middle East? TOBY Next Month LEO It was Jordan and Egypt and now they want to add Israel and do a day in the territories and meet with the shadow negotiation crew. State's "ify". TOBY As they should be. The Prime Minister is going to go through the roof. LEO Not to mention the Prime Minister authority. TOBY I'll look into it. LEO Andy's leading the delegation. Is that going to be a... TOBY No. I'm on it. [JOSH enters] JOSH President's on his way. What's up? TOBY We hate Asians. JOSH OK. [DEBBIE Fiderer's office] DEBBIE Ah Rina, how goes it? RINA These are today's ____________ and Mr. Zigler says they want it before their 10:00. DEBBIE Here, you can put it in his hot little hands yourself. [President Enters] RINA This is for you sir. JED Thank you Lana. RINA Thank you sir. [DEBBIE and JED walk into the Oval Office.] DEBBIE I hate to do this, but it's Rina sir. JED Huh? DEBBIE The girl in the dress with the flowers. JED Just now? DEBBIE Yes JED What'd I call her? DEBBIE Lana JED Who's Lana? DEBBIE I'm guessing an exotic dancer from your spotty youth. JED I should apologize. Get her back. DEBBIE You asked me yesterday how the schedule gets off the rails. JED Yah. DEBBIE This is how. [DEBBIE leaves. LEO enters.] LEO Good afternoon Mr. President. JED Hey did we make any friends? JOSH Maybe Zinelli, Shelton. TOBY Meltdown. JOSH Lang was pretty impressive. JED The gal from the 4th? Didn't she strike down some stuff? JOSH Some consent for abortion. JED Yah, that's not going to happen. LEO She was a red flag to the board. JOSH Well, it's working. Lisa Wolfe from the judiciary committee showed up today spewing all kinds of threats and abominations. LEO About what? TOBY Three down was all the committee called belated. We were considering bold choices. LEO If the strategy's working, let's get her in here again. JED You like Shelton? JOSH Yah. Moderate, insightful, gutsy. JED Let's meet him. Who else? JOSH Helen Moler. Erister Banet, DC circuit. Ellis Yafffg. Martha Zel. Uh.. Howard Kagen out of New York. Wilson Randy. Diana Ralf. TUESDAY [C.J.'s office. Toby enters.] TOBY What are you doing? C.J. Nothing. TOBY What? Carol She has a date. C.J. She's getting fired. TOBY What happened to the lights coming back in for another Red Herring performance at 3:00? You don't find that annoying? C.J. I'll have Carol march the times by Lang at 3. TOBY Gary Shelton's in with the President. C.J. You like him. TOBY Yah we do. [Oval office] JED E. Bradford Shelton. What's the E for? SHELTON Elijah. JED That's a burden. SHELTON Hence the E. JED I hear good things about you from my staff. What did they miss? SHELTON My son burned you in epiphagy. JED Did you watch? SHELTON I didn't. it was a campus demonstration against American presence in Saudi Arabia. There's a photo in his yearbook. Somebody'll dig it up. I thought it would sound better in person than on paper. JED I'm not sure it did. Did he burn anybody else? SHELTON No. just you. [Hallway] EVELYN Well, I missed you both. JOSH We appreciate this. EVELYN I keep running into Gary Shelton in the parking lot. Some say coincidence. I'm not so sure. JOSH You have been very patient. EVELYN Well I don't mind. But people wonder why the appellate system is so backed up. We shouldn't let them know this is how I spend my time. TOBY Well if you were less appealing. EVELYN Same to you sir. [Back in the Oval office] JED Affirmative action is going to be back in the next few years. Let's start there. SHELTON What do I know about it? JED What do you think about it. SHELTON I don't know. Not the answer you were looking for? JED Not really. SHELTON Unnerving isn't it? JED Is there another topic you'd be more comfortable with? SHELTON Nothing comes to mind. JED Perhaps you should make something up. SHELTON I'm not trying to be Cajun, but I don't position myself on issues and I don't know what I think about a case until I hear it. There are moderates who are called that because they are not activists. And there are moderates who are called that because sometimes they wind up on the left and sometimes on the right. JED You think I want somebody who will vote with Ashland? SHELTON I think you are looking for somebody who will vote with him now and replace him later. JED And that's not you? SHELTON Wish it were. He's a giant. But my allegiance to the eccentricities of a case will reliably outweigh my allegiance to any position you might wish I held. [Back in the Roosevelt room] JOSH Let's talk a little bit about what the judiciary committee's concerns would be. We can safely say reproductive rights are gonna come up. TOBY They're going to say judicial activism, particularly in jury. How would you address that? EVELYN And you're who? TOBY I'm sorry? EVELYN Who are you? We're playing committee. JOSH This will be coming from one of the 11 Republicans on the Mitchell. EVELYN You can know anything you want. JOSH We don't know anything. EVELYN If you're Webster, the question is 'Where do you stand on Roe v Wade?'. And the answer is 'Judicial ruling shouldn't be based on personal ideologies - mine or anyone else's'. If you're Davies, the question is 'How would you approach the next case?' because he's the drum banger on partial birth. And the answer is 'I don't comment on hypotheticals'. If you're Malkin, you're from Virginia, so your asking in re: Drury. I take you point by point from the doctor to the father to Casey to undue burden to equal protection back to Roe at which point you can't remember the question and I drink my water for a minute while you regroup. JOSH Will you excuse us for a second? [JOSH and TOBY leave room] JOSH I love her. I love her mind. I love her shoes. TOBY Watch her and there'll be 5 senator's offices and they'll be so scared they'll beg us to put Shelton on the court. [JOSH and TOBY re-enter room] JOSH Sorry. You're vetted by the FBI when you hit the Federal bench, but if we re-opened an investigation.... EVELYN I'm dressing, right? Why would you bother with a background check? JOSH Humor us. TOBY If there's anything that they didn't find... EVELYN Let's see, umm... in high school I snuck a copy of Lady Shaberith's Lover out of the public library and never returned it. In college I got a marijuana plant from my roommate as a birthday present. In year 2 of law school I had an abortion. Can I get some water while you regroup? Fade Out End of Act I ****************** ACT II [back in the Roosevelt room] JOSH Ok. Ok. EVELYN I tell you this so you'd be prepared. It might not come up, but if it did, I wouldn't comment. JOSH But if they know, it'll be hard. EVELYN Roe v Wade affords me the right to terminate a pregnancy and to do so, free from all restraint or interference of others. JOSH But hearing.... EVELYN I'm told I have a right to privacy. I think this is the sort of thing it's referring to. I also bet like a drunken sailor during my bi-monthly games of Hearts. You wanna talk about that? [C.J.'s office] C.J. An abortion? TOBY Well all the gin joints in all the world.... JOSH Maybe they won't find it. TOBY Oh, they'll find it. JOSH Yah, but who's going to bring it up? The committee, they'll look like monsters. C.J. They don't have to. Somebody leaks it to the tabloid press, it's a feeding frenzy in 12 hours. JOSH She says she can handle it. C.J. Oh, ok. TOBY Well, we need her. She's the cautionary tale. Without her we may not get Shelton. C.J. Have you been outside today? We don't hand somebody to the madding crowd so they can take the heat off some guy from Indiana. JOSH That woman is - you should hear her. C.J. What?! So she is a serious candidate now? JOSH She should be. C.J. She's going to be on posters under a headline that says 'Wanted for the murder of 15 million American children'. JOSH Let's think about this. C.J. Let it go. JOSH No. Really, nominees live or die by Roe v Wade. We're playing along with a ridiculous notion that the Supreme Court is a single issue body in a way it hasn't been since I don't know when. TOBY Slavery. JOSH Exactly. So she had an abortion. Who the hell are we? C.J. You think I like this? You keep this up and somone's going to take this to the press and this bright woman's going to be a check out spectacle. Get her out the building! WEDNESDAY [Oval office, Sr Staff meeeting] JED Brad Shelton could work for us? I like him. LEO So talk to him this afternoon. He's going to start getting calls. JED Who else? TOBY Rovensky is a good maybe. The majority leader is really pushing him. And Barket form the 5th he has a question. JOSH It's a tax thing. We're looking into it. JED You still having a love affair with Evelyn Lang? JOSH No, uh Robert Brant JED How come? JOSH She won't make through past the betting. JED Why not? TOBY She had an abortion. JOSH Robert Brant is on the 9th circuit state. Nancy's worked with him and says he's always kept his guard. JED When did she have an abortion? JOSH Law school. JED Before or after. C.J. After '73, it was legal. JED Are we discarding anybody else for legal activities? TOBY Not yet. JED Tonsillectomy. We down on surfing this year? C.J. She'd be publicly dismayed. JED 27 million women voted for me. I think they might had it in mind that I was going to protect this particular right. I like the guy from Florida with the good hair do, but I want to retain my right to choose. I'm voting for what's-his-name married to Abbie Bartlet. TOBY Sir. They're going to make this about her objectivity. JED We promised the committee a short list by Friday. I want her name on it. LEO Ok. STAFF Thank you Mr. President. [staff exits] JED That pisses me off. LEO Apparently. JED We marched her around here all week. The honor of a place on the short list is the least we can do. LEO We still going with Brad Shelton? JED [nods his head] [DONNA's cubicle] RYAN I found the seat on the Supremes heavy stuff. DONNA Don't call them that. RYAN My uncle calls them that. So does the minority leader. So does Henry Clark. You know him, he's on the court. DONNA You drop one more name and I'm going to staple your mouth shut. RYAN Eh-eh [RYAN sees JOSH and leaves. JOSH enters] JOSH Hell to pay at Ashen-court. I've offended the dell ten. DONNA Lisa Wolfe called twice. Senator Webster called regarding E-Lang. what can he possibly be thinking? Senator Milbank regarding Lang. NO NO NO NO NO. Byrth and McNull not a snow ball's chance... That's not about Lang. That's about the house bill. JOSH I need a drink. DONNA C.J. says you need some R&R. JOSH C.J.'s right. DONNA Usually. You want a Black Eyed Susan? JOSH Is that a drink? DONNA It's a cookie. My mom sent them. JOSH No -- Yes. DONNA Peanut butter with a chocolate kiss. JOSH Are they cat people? [holding up cookie tin lid with 2 pictures of cats on it] DONNA No they're not JOSH These theirs? DONNA She-shack and Me-shack JOSH 2 cats - cat people DONNA For years the only one they had died over Christmas. JOSH This is a dry cookie. DONNA After what was deemed an appropriate mourning period they went to get a new one and my mother liked white and my father liked the gray. They claimed after 39 years of marriage of no controversy. So they got both. That doesn't make them cat people. The house doesn't smell. [JOSH looks at her strangely] DONNA I have crumbs? [TOBY's office, JOSH enters] JOSH They pick one! TOBY They pick one? JOSH That's how we get Evy Lang and not as a decoy. We put her on the court. TOBY Why? JOSH The Chief Justice says he wouldn't step down because the President wouldn't be able to fill his seat with another liberal lion. She's the liberal lion. Ashland resigns. She takes his seat. Ok? And we offer the Republican Senate Judiciary Committee the opportunity to hand pick a conservative for Brady's seat. We put 'em both up. TOBY More wishing. Want some? JOSH Listen to me. TOBY No. JOSH I'm serious. TOBY And then we got what after we hand the Republicans a seat on the Supreme Court with a red bow on top?! JOSH We have a balanced court. They can't let Brady's seat go to a liberal. So let them keep it. Meanwhile, we name the first female Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in the nation's history. I'm taking it to the President. TOBY No you're not. Do not go in there. [hallway to Oval] JOSH Trippin. TOBY Ashland is 82. We may have an opportunity to put 2 people on this bench. That's 2 seats we fill with Democrats. JOSH Moderates. TOBY What do you care how moderate they are? 2 is twice as many as 1. [JOSH and Toby enter DEBBIE's office. Door to Oval is cracked open.] JOSH Can I get in there? DEBBIE No, just a minute. TOBY We don't need him. JOSH Not moderate, mediocre. TOBY What, Ashland is not bright enough for you? JOSH More than bright enough. If we had a bench full of moderates in 54 'Separate but Equal' would still be on the books and this place would still have 2 sets of drinking fountains. [DEBBIE tries to shush them.] TOBY Moderate means temperate. It means responsible. It means thoughtful. JOSH It means cautious. It means unimaginative. TOBY It means being more concerned about making decisions than making history. DEBBIE Indoor voices please. JOSH Is that really the biggest tragedy in the world? That we nominated somebody who made an impression instead of some second rate crowd pleaser? TOBY The ability to see 2 sides of an argument is not the hallmark of an inferior intellect. DEBBIE Toby! [JED looks out door. Looks at DEBBIE. JED closes door.] JOSH What about the vast arenas of debates that a moderate won't even address? A mind like Lang's. let them pick a conservative. DEBBIE Josh! JOSH Like Justice Brady. DEBBIE Josh! JOSH We canned Hagen's position. But he's a visionary. Blew the whole thing open. Changed the whole argument. [DEBBIE sprays water in Josh's face.] DEBBIE The President will see you now. [In oval] JED And you? TOBY I think they're going to pick a young, spry, conservative idiolot who's going to camp out in that seat for 45 years. JOSH Fine. 2 voices are articulating the debate at either end of the spectrum. JED Filling another seat on the court may be the only lasting thing I do in this office. Shelton's a great choice and he'll make us proud. And if Ashland resigns in a year, we have a stack of great options. We can't give it away. JOSH Mr. President, the first woman in that chair. TOBY We go out on some limb here and alienate the Senate. They'll tread water for 3 years and we get nobody! The next guy gets to fill Brady's seat. JED Take it to Ashland. See what he says. [JOSH and Toby waiting in Ashland's office.] TOBY How did you come up with it? JOSH What? TOBY The swapety-doo. JOSH There was.... Donna's mom... I thought it up in the shower. [Ashland enters with assistant] ASHLAND [to assistant] Who let them in? TOBY Sorry to disturb you sir. ASHLAND Carrier pigeons. ASHLAND Oh -- your flowers. Yah we like them. JOSH I'm dreadfully sorry about that sir. ASHLAND For God's sake, let us sit above the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings. Hagen was your age. Eat your greens. TOBY He was a great man. ASHLAND He was a selfish bastard. JOSH You told the President you hope to be replaced by a liberal with the same level conviction that you brought to the chair. ASHLAND That sounds like something I'd say. TOBY Sir, are you familiar with Evelyn Baker Lang? ASHLAND Miss Lang, you've met with her? JOSH Yes sir. ASHLAND How are you going to get her past the pit bulls? They're not going to like the notion of Miss Lang in Owen Brady's seat. JOSH For your seat, if - if - you were to resign, she'd be Chief. ASHLAND My seat? What about Brady's? TOBY We'd allow the Judiciary Committee to choose someone. A conservative. JOSH Would you consider stepping down under those circumstances? ASHLAND Sure. JOSH We think it might be a viable option. ASHLAND Go ahead, see who they pick of their favorite sons. See the segregationists. Anti-decationists. Isaiah quoting, gay-bashing bastard they come up with. [chuckle - to assistant] Jed Bartlet from New Hampshire had an idea. Oh-oh Fade Out End of Act II ****************** ACT III THURSDAY [LISA Wolfe's office. Josh enters] LISA [to assistant] I cut this because what he's implying is illegal. Take it back out. [to Josh] 3 times in 1 week. In some cultures we'd be married. JOSH Chilling. LISA Is it Shelton? JOSH He's the front runner. LISA Good, are we done? JOSH Mind if I shut the door? LISA No. JOSH How are you doing? LISA Ah, super! JOSH Feeling good? LISA I got a meeting in 4 minutes. JOSH I'm going to float an idea here that even I can't believe I'm mentioning it and my colleagues definitely can't believe I'm mentioning it and the President would probably prefer I drop completely and if I find it in the Washington Post tomorrow morning, I'll march straight out to the Press Room and tell them the idea came from you. It'll embarrass the crap out of your boss and you'll be on hot jobs by nightfall. [Back at the White House.... Toby walks into his office, sees Andy and walks out to his assistant] TOBY There's somebody in my office. MARINA I thought it was your ex-wife. TOBY Didn't you want to warn me about that? MARINA You asked her to come in. [TOBY walks back into his office] ANDREA She's cute. TOBY Late some night our eyes will meet over the marriage uncommissioned report. We'll be at the Justice of the Peace before dawn. You want to talk about this dog and pony show you're attending in Gonza? ANDREA Not really. Bradford Shelton. TOBY He's on the list. You're not going to Gonza. ANDREA I still don't want to talk about it. TOBY You're not attending peace talks with a bunch of Israelis or Palestinians who don't work for the Israeli or Palestinian government. ANDREA They may generate some useful ideas. TOBY The ideas already exist. The problem is getting recognized parties to stick to the plan. ANDREA So we sit with our hands folded? TOBY We asked them for democracy. We should maintain some scrap of respect for the guys who are democratically elected. ANDREA If you're really interested in peace, you'll negotiate with anyone. You'd negotiate with the mailman. TOBY Thanks for tee-ing that up. The mailman can't deliver. ANDREA We'll see. TOBY No we won't see. You're jeopardizing this country's relationship with the LuKan party and with the Palestinian authority and it's not an option. ANDREA Is that all you've got here? No. And what about the kids? TOBY No, why did something happen? ANDREA I'm going away for 2 weeks. TOBY Will they be...? ANDREA At my mothers... TOBY Good. ANDREA Would you have asked? TOBY I figured your mothers', which is apparently.... ANDREA You say you want to be involved doesn't come with an embossed invitation. You involve yourself or you don't. TOBY The President would like to remind you that this is a fact-finding mission. Please make it clear to any parties that you meet with that you are not empowered to negotiate for the United States. [Andy leaves] [Josh approaches C.J.'s closed door] JOSH Is she in there? CAROL Hang on. She's getting off.... [C.J. laughs loudly through the door] The phone.... [into speaker phone] you want Josh? C.J. Lord knows I do! [Josh Enters] C.J. Josh Lyman as I live and breathe! You wanna cookie? They're from Donna's mother. JOSH I spoke to Lisa Wolfe. C.J. What did she say? JOSH I don't want to talk about it. I'm hiding from Toby. C.J. [giggles] Nothing. You're hiding. That's funny. JOSH It's not funny. [TOBY enters] TOBY Hey C.J. [laughs] see! It is! TOBY What's going on? JOSH C.J. has the giggles. C.J. It's your deal. I find it elating. TOBY She stoned? C.J. I'm fine. I just didn't get enough sleep. JOSH You were with Ranger Rick weren't you? C.J. Josh spoke to Lisa Wolfe. TOBY She give you a name? JOSH You are a faithless wench. TOBY What's the name? JOSH Christopher Mulready. Wait for it.... TOBY Christopher MULREADY????!!!! JOSH There it is. C.J. Isn't that the.... TOBY The American's Democrat. The triumphant of socialism. JOSH He doesn't like the name. TOBY The man wrote a book that flushes the entire doctrine of enumerated rights down the C.J. Toilet. TOBY The garbage disposal. No right to use a condom. No right to get an abortion, certainly. No protection from electronic searches. No substitutive due process. C.J. He's what, 48? JOSH I know. C.J. The wife's going to blow a gasket! TOBY No separation of church and state. JOSH We got problems on the right too. Kogan, Howard, Tondelo. They can't vote for Mulready. Their constituencies are too moderate. TOBY Get another name. JOSH That is the name. TOBY There are other.... JOSH This is the deal. He's what Evelyn Lang is to them. We nominate the patron saint of a woman's right to choose for Chief Justice. We ask them to ignore an incredibly rich piece of her personal history. We take the name they give to us. TOBY This isn't going to work. JOSH Yah. [Josh leaves] TOBY It isn't. [JOSH's office] TOBY If --- if we were going to try this, what would be the plan? JOSH We give the President and Leo the name. We bring Christopher Mulready in. We bring Lang back in, hopefully the 2 of them woo the pants off the President. And he agrees to the deal without noticing he's standing in the gaze of history pantless. TOBY I'll talk to him. JOSH You don't have to talk to him. TOBY You have been on about this since Plauser called me. What are you doing about the committee. JOSH Lisa Wolfe is going to take it to chairman.... TOBY I meant the Democrats. I need to get Senator Pierce on board or you get nobody. What are you going to do about Pierce? [RYAN singing and dancing in the hallway] 'Won't you stay... just a little big longer... ' DONNA [To RYAN] Stop. TOBY I thought you were firing him? JOSH I wish he made it so. Donna! Send in Elvis. [Moments later, RYAN enters Josh's office] RYAN What's up? JOSH Come ion in, take a load off. I was a little, ah, brusk with you before. I'm sorry about that. RYAN Ok JOSH Your feelings a little hurt? RYAN Not at all JOSH Really? Why not? RYAN Would this be easier if they were? JOSH I said I was going to fire you if it wasn't for.... RYAN Are you? Firing me? JOSH No. RYAN Then there's a sticks and stones thing that comes to mind. [DEBBIE's office. TOBY, DEBBIE and Leo enter] TOBY The Guinosido called and I spoke to Andy. LEO Anything? TOBY No. The National Security Caucus is sponsoring the delegation. We can talk to them. LEO We'll deal with it next week. Don't worry about it. TOBY We got a name for Brady's seat. LEO Somebody workable? DEBBIE You can go in now. LEO Thank you. [Camera stays on DEBBIE in her office as Leo and Toby enter the Oval and shut the door. Through the door you hear...] TOBY Mulready. JED MULREADY!!! TOBY That's the name. JED No!!! Are you out of your bloody mind?!! TOBY Let's sit down and talk about this. JED The last time I heard Christopher Mulready's name it was in conjunction with [DEBBIE turns up radio to cover up the yelling] A treatest over the rights of incorporation and a Chicano in the world and some sort of baloney about the stranglehold and the EPA is placed on the endangered species.... Fade Out End of Act III ****************** ACT IV THURSDAY EVENING [outside Donna's cubicle] JOSH Ryan in here yet? DONNA Not yet. Charlie Chris Mulready? JOSH Yah Charlie He censored on minority set assage instruct hate crime legislation. When asked the Miranda Rights. Feeling pretty good about that? JOSH It's not a perfect plan. I'm the first to admit. Charlie The President wants to really wait. He's not going to spend 5 minutes alone with this clown. [C.J. enters] C.J. The press room's clear. Carole is going to babysit the firing squad. But keep your eye out for roaming reporters. CHARLIE You're in on this too? JOSH [to Donna] we got Lang coming in to meet the President at 7. Christopher Mulready is at 8. The press can't see 'em . We need a clear shot from the Roosevelt room to the Oval. DONNA He's on the short list? JOSH He is if she is. We make it both. DONNA My god. You're putting my mother's council on the Supreme Court. C.J. You're what? JOSH It's just and experiment. She meant century. Look it. TOBY Hello. JOSH Just don't tell anyone else that story. TOBY We all settled? C.J. Marchis' got the goods. Marco's go the cost. Niki's on lookout. DONNA Hey! JOSH Shall we? [RYAN enters huddle] RYAN Sorry. JOSH Marco's here. C.J. Knock 'em dead. [all leave] C.J. [to Toby] Pierce will never buy it will he? TOBY Nope. [Walking down the hall] RYAN Remember, he's all bark. Just let him holler and wear himself out. He's got the strength. You've got the endurance. Here. [hands over bottle]. Use it wisely and for God's sake, don't try to keep up. You're way out of your league. JOSH Not necessary. Thank you. [JOSH enters mural room where Senator Pierce is waiting.] SENATOR PIERCE Good to see you Josh. JOSH Senator Pierce, thank you so much for stopping in. RYAN Josh was pretty impressed with your floor speech on Tuesday. SENATOR PIERCE Josh can kiss up all on his own. Get back to work. RYAN Yell if you need me. [RYAN leaves] SENATOR PIERCE And is he behaving? JOSH He's .. uh... a treat. SENATOR PIERCE Well, he better be. He begged me for over 2 years to get him a job in this place. JOSH Really? SENATOR PIERCE Watch yourself, he's a mean and hungry tiger. Have somebody taste your food. JOSH RYAN? SENATOR PIERCE So! Craziest rumor you ever heard running around the committee. JOSH Oh, yah? SENATOR PIERCE Charlie Feltzman says you want to put Chris Mulready on the Supreme Court . I said anybody who tries is going to find himself in a closed session with myself, the minority leader, and the business end of a 2 by 4. JOSH You know, we got a 21 year old [Glen Levet?] knocking around here. Can I get you a drink? [DEBBIE's office] C.J. Lang still in there? DEBBIE Oh, she's a big hit. C.J. She has to leave. Her evil twin Skippy is on is way. DEBBIE I did our secret wrap it up sign which is: I knock and say 'The deputy NSA needs to talk about Japan' and he said 'you talk to him, you've been there' which is true. But it makes me think he's forgotten it's a secret sign. C.J. How about "Excuse me Mr. President we need to move on"? DEBBIE If you want the job, you're going to have to work on your typing. [Roosevelt room where Mulready is waiting] TOBY Apologies. He's running behind schedule. CHRISTOPHER I imagine that happens. You want to tell me what I'm doing here? TOBY Oh, just a hello. CHRISTOPHER I'm not being impeached? TOBY No CHRISTOPHER This is not a particularly some subtle form of intimidation about the gays in the workplace case? TOBY That would be illegal. CHRISTOPHER My point exactly. TOBY The President will explain.... Any minute now. But since you mention it, I read your article on Bellington and I may be out on a fringe here, but I - I don't see how a family values conservative justifies denying committed couples access to the benefits of state sanctioned monogamy. CHRISTOPHER Homosexual couples. TOBY Couples. A couple is a couple. [C.J.'s office. Josh enters] JOSH Howdy. C.J. How is Ryan's uncle? JOSH He's a blast. Come meet him. C.J. He's still here? Oh my God! You're drunk! JOSH I think I just promised him a pork barrel roads project on a blitz bill that doesn't exist. C.J. [starting to run out of the office] JOSH Don't try to keep. He's got a wooden - hollow leg! I think he drinks a lot. [Back in the Roosevelt room] TOBY It's an equal protection violation. CHRISTOPHER Homosexuals are not a suspect class. TOBY Only one that denies access. CHRISTOPHER No. TOBY To over 1,000 federal protections. CHRISTOPHER To what? TOBY Survivor benefits all the way to Social Security. CHRISTOPHER $255.00? I'll write you a check. TOBY Hospital decision making. CHRISTOPHER So, talk about power of attorney not marriage. Besides the fact it doesn't only restrict access to marriage. TOBY Of course it restricts access. It restricts full faith and credit. CHRISTOPHER So, Vermont gets to steer a nation on wide marriage legislation? Vermont? [Carole escorts Evelyn in] EVELYN Well, this is a sight to see! One of the more unlikely meetings in the history of the Bartlet White House. CHRISTOPHER It's good to see you Evy. EVELYN You too Chris. I came to say good bye. I whish I had a camera. CHRISTOPHER Mr. Ziegler was trying to convince me that the defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. EVELYN Oh D.O.M.A.! He was trying to convince you? [chuckle] TOBY What? EVELYN He doesn't need convincing. TOBY I wasn't doing it because... EVELYN He was yanking your chain. He would never uphold D.O.M.A. He may not love the idea of gay marriage, but he hates congressional overreaching and congress doesn't have the power to legislate marriage. The issue isn't privacy. CHRISTOPHER Or equal protection. EVELYN It's enumerated powers. He'll have an easier time knocking down DOMA than I will. CHRISTOPHER Lack of imagination on your part, if I may be so bold. TOBY You were yanking my chain? CHRISTOPHER You called me in for a meeting with a Democratic president in the middle of the night. Are you really going to give me crap about yanking your chain? [Josh waving outside the doors to Toby] EVELYN Josh Lyman is just tickulating wildly. TOBY Excuse me. [Outside the doors] TOBY Where's the Senator? JOSH He's in with C.J.. He got me all drunk. TOBY Is he leaving? JOSH I think he's getting C.J. all drunk. How's it going? TOBY He's dragging down gay marriage bans and she's defending him and they're as thick as thieves and he's a fan of Jane Yankee. JOSH She's defending him? TOBY Down is down and down is up. [Josh cracks open door to eavesdrop on debate] EVELYN I am not... no I am not rewriting Article 1. I am saying that a gun free school zone... CHRISTOPHER Is not a federal issue and Lopez EVELYN Lopez overturned 50 years of precedent. CHRISTOPHER Too bad. They were the plain text reading of the commerce clause, does not afford congress to... EVELYN A plain text reading of the constitution values a negro at three-fifths of a man. CHRISTOPHER Hence the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendment. EVELYN Oh, how generous. Thank you. CHRISTOPHER The relationship between guns and schools and interstate commerce is... is... EVELYN You don't think that the quality of education has a direct affect on the economic... [DEBBIE's office] TOBY Is he? DEBBIE Waiting to meet a man you're holding hostage in the Roosevelt room. [TOBY enter's Oval] [Josh enters Mural room to C.J. and Pierce singing lyrics from American Pie, obviously drunk] JOSH Ok... ok.... Everyone needs to put down their glasses and pay attention. [Back in the Oval] JED You like him. TOBY I hate him. I hate him, but he's brilliant and the 2 of the them together fighting like cats and dogs. But it works. [Back in the Mural room] SENATOR PIERCE You couldn't find a single warm blooded centrist to put on the court? JOSH We've got centrists. We've got 6 of them plus 2 staunch conservatives plus Justice Ashland. The one clarion voice articulating a liberal vision. He's going to go and then what? [Back in the Oval] JED [sigh] well send him in.... TOBY Sir JED I said I'll listen to him Toby. That's going to have to do. [hallway] DONNA Toby. TOBY What? DONNA Nothing's happening. [Carole escorts CHRISTOPHER down the hall] DONNA That's him? TOBY Yah. DONNA No tan. No clift or nose. [Oval Office] DEBBIE Judge Mulready. JED Thanks for coming in. CHRISTOPHER It's an honor sir. JED Please. I understand that you and Judge Lang had a bit of a knock-down-drag-out. CHRISTOPHER She wants to federalize law enforcement. JED Yah CHRISTOPHER I thought it was too hasty. JED Not your brand of judge? CHRISTOPHER Quite the opposite. I haven't had that much fun in months. JED Really? CHRISTOPHER You sir, if you can, I'm not sure what all this is about. I suppose a number of people are placated by a glimpse of someone like her or someone like me in these halls. I'm most certainly here for that. If there is anyway that you can use her. JED It's unlikely. CHRISTOPHER Who's at the to of the list? ... If I leaked it would they believe me? JED Brad Shelton. CHRISTOPHER Really? JED You don't like him? CHRISTOPHER He's a fine jurist and in the event that Charmine, Lafayette, Hoyt, Clarke and Brandegen all drop dead this summer, we'd still be well tended. JED You want another Brady? CHRISTOPHER Sure, just like you'd like another Ashland - who wouldn't? the court was at its best when Brady was fighting Ashland. JED Plenty of good law written by the voice of moderation. CHRISTOPHER Who writes the extraordinary dissent? The one man minority opinion whose time hasn't come but 20 years later some circuit court clerk digs it up at 3 in the morning. Brenden railing against censorship. Harlen's Jeremiah and I'm Jim Crowe. JED Maybe you some day? CHRISTOPHER They can't put me on the court, just like you can't put Evelyn Lang on the court. It's Sheltons from here on in. JED There are 4,000 protestors outside this building worried about who's going to land in that seat. We can't afford to alienate all of them. CHRISTOPHER We all have our roles to play sir. Yours is to nominate someone who doesn't alienate people. [Outside press briefing room FRIDAY MORNING JOSH Where's Toby? C.J. Can you see this? [pointing to spot on her blouse] JOSH Yah C.J. It's water, it'll dry. JOSH Alright. [TOBY enters] TOBY Ready? [on the TV in background...] REPORTER ... have gathered around..... Ashland having served 32 years on the United States Supreme Court, 12 of them as Chief will officially announce his retirement in just a moment. [on another TV in the hallway, with President and Evelyn watching] ASHLAND [at Press briefing podium] Henry Starr retired I received a photo, you are probably learning to what. It's been an honor to pause in Henry Starr's chair and enjoy the... C.J. [to JED] You can take 3 questions while standing at the podium. JED [to Evelyn] you ready? [Lang is engrossed in Ashland's announcement] [To C.J.] That's a yes. [in another area of the same hallway] CHRISTOPHER [to Charlie] So, why a racial preference and not an economic one? CHARLIE Because affirmative action is about a legacy of racial emersion. CHRISTOPHER That's like compromising admissions standards. CHARLIE That's bull. CHRISTOPHER Excuse me? CHARLIE It's about leveling the playing field after 300 years. CHRISTOPHER See, this is where the liberal argument goes off the rails. You get stuck in the past. Now you wanna comeback at me with grading is based on past performance, but admissions should be based on potential on how a candidate may thrive with this sort of opportunity. Studies show that affirmative action applicants have a higher pre-disposition to contribute to society. CHARLIE Hang on, I got to write this down. [TOBY tucks a book into coat pocket] JED Ah-ah-ah. Hand it over. [Josh does] [to Evelyn] Toby has a daughter 10 months old. She's a looker and very bright. And someday he'd like to give her this copy of the 14th Amendment signed by the first woman to ever hold this job. EVELYN Have you got a... TOBY Oh... [hands her a pen] [EVELYN signs book while Jed holds it for her] TOBY Would you mind adding that title? EVELYN That's a bit premature, isn't it? JED No. [EVELYN adds title to signature] [C.J. enters] C.J. Mr. President JED Shall we? [In the press room at the podium] C.J. Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. JED The honorable Christopher Mulready, nominee for Associate Justice - United States Supreme Court. The honorable Evelyn Baker Lang, nominee for Chief Justice - United States Supreme Court. I look forward to taking your questions. The West Wing episode 5.17 "The Supremes", original air date 24 March, 2004.