The President (Martin Sheen) ponders the fallout of greenlighting a strike force to overtake a barricaded gang of homegrown terrorists in Idaho — who include a young non-combatant in need of medical attention — while his staff tries to negotiate with Bartlet’s Republican rival for more, rather than fewer debates. Josh (Bradley Whitford) accuses his girlfriend Amy (Mary-Louise Parker) of stealing potential votes from Bartlet as a result of her efforts on behalf of a third-party candidate (George Coe).Leo (John Spencer) quietly meets with a high-ranking Israeli official (Malachi Throne) to discuss mutual strategy in the wake of the Qumari assassination investigation.
THE WEST WING "THE RED MASS" TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN STORY BY: ELI ATTIE DIRECTED BY: VINCENT MISIANO TEASER FADE IN: INT. STACKHOUSE'S OFFICES - DAY Stackhouse, SUSAN THOMAS, and Amy are involved in a heated debate. SUSAN THOMAS This is a little humiliating. STACKHOUSE It wasn't a discussion to have in front of the group. SUSAN You're right about that, and I apologize for that. STACKHOUSE Do you accept? AMY I think she was apologizing to you Senator. SUSAN I was. AMY I'd accept. STACKHOUSE Look- SUSAN I believe, in this case, on this particular point, you're the servant to two masters. AMY And as sexy as that possibility sounds, it's just not true, Susan. SUSAN Your relationship with Josh Lyman, with C.J. Cregg, with the First Lady, with the President! STACKHOUSE Can we return to the issue at hand? I'm going out of my mind with you two. SUSAN You should call for federal funding of needle exchange in the five cities with the highest incidence of AIDS. Ritchie has given you a perfect opening. STACKHOUSE When? SUSAN Right now. At the AMA. We've got an advanced copy of the text. That's what we were arguing about when you came in the meeting. STACKHOUSE What does he say? SUSAN "We ought to begin and end with abstinence. We ought to begin and end with personal responsibility. I'm appalled by inner city programs that hand out clean needles to junkies and dope-doers in the name of AIDS prevention and I will fight for a national law to end them." STACKHOUSE Amy? AMY It's baiting the hook. That's why they sent an advanced copy. STACKHOUSE Yeah. But didn't I get in it to talk about things like this? Why not take the bait? AMY The bait's not for you. It's for the President. Ritchie wants you to respond so the President has to. SUSAN I thought the aim was to talk about issues that aren't being discussed. Not to run pass blocking for the President. STACKHOUSE I feel like Susan has a point. It's an opportunity to get into some debate about it. If it was just me, nobody would be listening. SUSAN I don't know why you think the Committee to Re-elect needs us to protect them. And if Ritchie's strategy is what you say it is, won't Josh Lyman figure that out in five minutes? AMY It'll take his assistant Donna five minutes. It'll take Josh half that time. STACKHOUSE Really? AMY Maybe a little longer because the Mets lost last night, and he'll need to focus. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY Josh and Donna are in his office. Josh is reading the newspaper. JOSH Just throw strikes. I don't understand why that can't happen. You have a three-run lead, just throw strikes. I mean, my God! DONNA Honestly. JOSH Yes. DONNA You want to see the wires? JOSH I'll tell you something else. In a situation with a runner on first who's a threat to score and a batter at the plate who's going to be intentionally passed, why not pitch out four times? DONNA Makes me nutsy. JOSH What are the wires? DONNA The latest on the stand off in Iowa, the final recommendation from the debate commission, and Ritchie to the AMA, which just ended a few minutes ago. JOSH Give me the AMA. DONNA And you have Senior Staff. JOSH You know, there comes a day in every man's life, and it's a hard day, but there comes a day when he realizes he's never going to play professional baseball. DONNA [hands Josh a memo] You're just having that day today? JOSH Yes I am. You understand, you're going to be walking a guy anyway. You're going to be throwing four balls. Why not just...? DONNA Pitch out. JOSH Yeah, why not just, you know, to... [looks up, confused] ...catch the runner. DONNA What is it? JOSH I know how Ritchie's going to win this election. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - DAY FRIDAY MORNING C.J. Red Mass, Red Mass, Red Mass, you say. Red Mass is at... You're right-- 10:00 at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception which is also what they called my dorm room in college. No, but seriously, Katie. KATIE When do you inticipate the debate issue will be settled? And then I have a follow-up. C.J. The President believes the debates are good and that more the better. The President's asked for five debates. Governor Ritchie's asked for two. The President said, "How about four?" Governor Ritchie said, "How about two?" We're waiting for the commision to make its recommendation. KATIE And follow-up is what would be considered a debate win for the President? C.J. At this point, participating in one would be a victory. REPORTER I want to ask the same question. C.J. Which was? REPORTER What would be a victory in the debate? C.J. 270 electoral votes. REPORTER Seriously. C.J. Seriously. We'll be headed to Rock Creek Park at 2:30. Thank you. REPORTERS C.J.! C.J.! C.J. walks away from the podium an into the HALLWAY where she meets Sam. C.J. I know how Ritchie's going to win this election. SAM So do I. What's your way? C.J. Overcoming perversely low expectations. What's your way? SAM Getting the President to run the Stackhouse campaign. C.J. What happened? SAM I'm taking you to the meeting. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY BARTLET Treasury scored it? LEO Yes. BARTLET OMB says it's revenue nuetral? LEO Yes. BARTLET NEC, DPC, the advisors? LEO Yes, sir. BARTLET Joint tax on the Hill? LEO Yes. BARTLET All right. All right. Let's line up validators. LEO Good. CHARLIE Sir? BARTLET Yeah? Toby, Josh, Sam, and C.J. enter the Oval Office. LEO Toby, Josh. Merry Christmas. He says let's line up the validators. BARTLET And update our resumes. LEO Sam, that'll be you. SAM Yeah. TOBY I can do it. LEO Stay on debate prep. BARTLET What? You're doing the face. JOSH Needle exchange in a speech to the AMA: "We ought to begin and end with abstinence. We ought to begin and end with personal responsibility." TOBY [grumpily] I'd like someone to ask Ritchie if he's aware that needle exchange cost $9,000 for every infection stopped. Treating someone with HIV cost $200,000. I'd like someone to ask him that. I'd like someone to ask him where the repsonsibility was in paraphernalia that made it a crime to buy or carry a syringe, which is why addicts share infected needles in the first place. I'd like someone to ask him that, too. LEO All done? TOBY For the moment. JOSH It's really only a issue if Stackhouse responds, but if he does... SAM Will he? JOSH I don't know. LEO Will he? JOSH I don't know. But if-if he does we can't come out for it. Bruno thinks we'll be putting three states back into play. C.J. Ohio, Michigan... JOSH And Maine. BARTLET They've always been iffy about me in Maine. I don't know why. JOSH It's a mystery, sir. You can't come out against either. You'll alienate... BARTLET Heroin addicts? JOSH Liberals. BARTLET Whatever. Let's worry about if Stackhouse does something. JOSH Okay, but at that point, I'll be very worried. BARTLET Anything else? TOBY, JOSH, SAM, C.J. Thank you, Mr. President. Toby, Josh, Sam, and C.J. exit to the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. C.J. Toby... TOBY I'd like someone to ask him about the responsibility in cutting the drug that treatment that would eliminate needle-related HIV. Half of all people getting infected are getting infected by the needle. I'd like someone to ask him how he thinks the personal responsibility plan's going so far. C.J. I'll get on that, but I want to talk to you about the debates. Toby and C.J. continue to TOBY'S OFFICE. TOBY When we mention that we want five debates, say what they are. One on the economy, one on foreign policy, with another on global threats and national security, one on the environment, and one on strengthening family life, which would include health care, education, and retirement. I also think there should be one on parts of speech and sentence structure, and one on fractions. C.J. Is there any chance I'm going to get an oppurtunity to speak in this conversation, or are you just writing out loud? TOBY I didn't even know you were in the room. C.J. Toby, I'm absolutely terrified we're going to lose the expectations game. I can't believe how many times I get asked what would be a win in the debates. At this point I feel like if -- and only if -- Ritchie accidentally lights his podium on fire does the President have a fighting chance. TOBY I disagree. C.J. Disagree all you want, but I'm right. TOBY These two men are going to be side by side on the stage, answering questions. That's the ball game. C.J. If the whole thing is, he can't tie his shoelaces and it turns out he can, then that is the ball game. TOBY And I believe he'll have to do more than tie his shoelaces. C.J. Not much more. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY JOSH Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? DONNA I'm going bike riding, as a matter of fact, and then I'm meeting some friends for lunch, and then I'm having my nails done. JOSH Guy, that sounds great. If only you were actually doing all those things. DONNA Yeah, yeah. What? JOSH Teddy Tomba. DONNA What about him? JOSH Well, he has millions of followers worldwide, has a $20-billion empire of self-help seminars... DONNA I know who Teddy Tomba is. JOSH ...workbooks, board games... DONNA Seminars? JOSH Capitol Sheraton, tomorrow morning 10:00 AM. Your registration's been prepaid. DONNA Why? JOSH We're efficient. DONNA Why I am going? JOSH He's consulted for Ritchie in the last few weeks, and I would like for that to be embarrassing for Ritchie. DONNA Really? JOSH Yes. DONNA That lacks a certain nobility of purpose, doesn't it? JOSH I don't believe it does. Write down any key slogans, or philosophies, or slogans. DONNA They'll probably be on a t-shirt, won't they? JOSH Proabably. You know what I'm looking for. DONNA Should I go in disguise? JOSH As what? DONNA Somebody who'd go to one of these things. JOSH Meet me here at the office when you're done. Donna walks off from Josh. CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - DAY Leo is shaking the hand of Israeli official BEN YOSEF in front of photographers. BEN YOSEF And in addition to being a good friend to Israel, Leo McGarry, of course, is the most Jewish man most of us have ever met. For that, he gets this yarmulke which has been crumpled up in my coat pocket since a wedding in 1962. For everything else, the Medal of David. LEO Thank you very much, Mr. Foreign Minister. A thousand dead relatives in Scotland just started crying. Thanks very much. [to reporters] We're a little late for lunch. Leo and Ben Yosef do a walk-and-talk in the HALLWAY. BEN YOSEF What the hell is going on, Leo? I'm reading Shareef is alive in Libya. That's you people, right? LEO We're thinking about starting our own tabloid. BEN What's happening at that house in Idaho? LEO Iowa. BEN Which one's the potatoes? LEO Idaho. We've had the house surrounded for 11 days. We're trying to negotiate a surrender. BEN How long can their supplies last? LEO This people live to be well supplied, Ben. It's their first love. BEN You got kids in there. LEO Yeah. I got to talk to you about something. STAFFER Good afternoon, Mr. McGarry. LEO Good afternoon. BEN That person's very young to be working here.They stop in front of a room that has several people lounging around tables with food on them. LEO That was probably an intern. Qumar is ready to announce it was Israel. BEN We've known this was coming. LEO Well, it's come. And I need to put if off at least another week. BEN Israel has to immediately deny the accusation. LEO I don't want there to be an accusation. I want it to wait another week. BEN And what are you asking Israel to give up in oder to get them to delay accusing us of something we didn't do? LEO Ben... BEN I'm just saying, tell me. LEO You're planning to attack two Qumari training bases in retaliation... BEN Yes, sir. LEO Don't. BEN That's out of the question. LEO If you hold off, Fitzwallace can get the Qumari Defense Minister to have the Sultan hold off a week. BEN Leo, look at what's happening. They're getting you to pull us back by continuing this preposterous lie. LEO But... BEN We're not the ones playing skeet shoot with their cabinet. LEO No, no, Ben. I think we're in this one together. BEN Yes, I apologize for the remark. LEO When are you flying back? BEN Right after lunch. LEO You can fly on the Sabbath? BEN If I have to. LEO You'll take it to the Prime Minister. BEN Leo, you know what you're doing? You're advising the President well? LEO A number of people are advising the President. BEN I'm only asking because right now, we're losing. LEO Will you take it to him? BEN Yes. They enter the room. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. STACKHOUSE HEADQUARTERS - DAY SATURDAY STACKHOUSE Yeah, a friend of mine, his son just got his pilot license's, and he lives in Phoenix, and his big fear isn't crashing. It's getting lost in the desert. So he bought five gallons of water, a super-powered flashlight and... I don't know, a thing that makes pancakes. JOSH And now he's on every survivalist's mailing list? STACKHOUSE That's right. JOSH Anyways, yes, they're well supplied, but they're not endlessly supplied. We can wait them out. STACKHOUSE Good. JOSH A guy told me I should take flying lessons cause it would relax me. I don't think it you. Do you? STACKHOUSE No, Josh, I think you of all people shouldn't fly things. JOSH Senator... STACKHOUSE You brought the big guns. JOSH Not having any guns of my own. Obviously you know John Baxley -- Congressman Baxley ... Senators Jackson and White, Secretaries Weaver and Keaton. STACKHOUSE And you all probably know Susan Thomas and Amelia Gardner. MICHAEL JACKSON Howard, it's getting hard for BFA staff to plan strategy without knowing exactly what hour you are going to drop out and endorse the President. STACKHOUSE What hour would be best for you. Michael? I'm inconviencing one of my opponents? JACKSON Serioulsy. STACKHOUSE Yes? JACKSON I was very happy you did not respond on needle exchange. STACKHOUSE I haven't responded on needle exchange. JACKSON And I'm saying I'm happy about that. STACKHOUSE No, I mean, it's not that I didn't-- It's that I haven't. SECRETARY JASON WEAVER Are you going to? STACKHOUSE I don't know. WEAVER Well, what's your thinking? SUSAN THOMAS Regarding what, Jason? This doesn't need to be tedious. WEAVER It was our understanding that the Senator was going to drop out and campaign for the President sometime before the first debate. THOMAS Have we had the first debate? SENATOR JACKSON No, we haven't. And since the Sullivan ruling, things have gotten a bit murkier. WHITE You didn't get into this to hurt the President, Howard. STACKHOUSE I got in it to raise issues. WEAVER And I'm all for that. STACKHOUSE As long as I don't in anyway speak. JOSH Excuse me. Now that I have you all sitting down, I'll be right outside the door. Josh exits to a waiting room across the hall and sits down. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Charlie and Anthony are in the room. Charlie is working at his desk and Anthony is sitting in a chair. A staffer walks in. EMILY Do you need me? CHARLIE Yeah. Can you make a run to the staff's secretary office. Ellen's not there, but someone should be. Make sure you just take what needs to be signed today. They're going to try and give you a whole stack, and right there is where you become a man, Emily. EMILY Should I use sex as a tactic? CHARLIE If you need to. Hell, even if you just want to. There's some executives orders I need to make sure are in there. Can you copy these down? EMILY Yeah. CHARLIE [to Anthony] You want to know what I'm doing? ANTHONY How long is this going to take? CHARLIE I don't know. ANTHONY I'm leaving. [gets up] CHARLIE Okay, see ya. Emily, can you get me Ms. Toscano at Social Services. EMILY I'll be back in a few minutes. Anthony sits back down. ANTHONY It makes you feel like something, huh? That you've got power over me? CHARLIE In about two minutes the Deputy Communications Director is going to come in here and tell me that the speech he's writing for Red Mass isn't going well and could I read it for him. And you think you're what makes me feel like something? ANTHONY What's Red Mass? CHARLIE I didn't hear you. ANTHONY I said what's Red Mass? CHARLIE The Supreme Court convenes on the first Monday in October. On the Sunday before the first Monday there's a mass held for the members of the Court that's attended by the cabinet, Congress and the President. ANTHONY What about church and state? CHARLIE I swear to God I can't hear you when you speak can you help me out? ANTHONY I said it's church and state. CHARLIE What about it? ANTHONY You're not suppose to do it. CHARLIE Who told you that? ANTHONY I'm talking about the law. CHARLIE What law? ANTHONY All right, you know, you like to slap me 'cause that's you power thing, so I'll sit here and not say nothing. [pause] The law-- seperation of church and state. CHARLIE Who told you that? ANTHONY You know exactly what I'm talking about. The government and the church are not suppose to do... they're not suppose to be the same thing. CHARLIE And you think there's a law? ANTHONY There is. CHARLIE What kind of law? ANTHONY What the hell. CHARLIE City, state, federal? ANTHONY I don't know about those things but I know there's a law. CHARLIE Prove it. Charlie hands Anthony a copy of the Constitution and walks out of the office to the HALLWAY. SAM Charlie. I'm eating it on Red Mass. And I don't want to show it to Toby yet. Would you mind reading it for me and then hitting me in the head with a fairway wood? CHARLIE Yep. We follow Sam as he walks to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. SAM Janet. Or Jeanette, as I sometimes like to call you. JANET Sometimes I like to call you cupcake. Is that okay? SAM Totally. JANET Deductibilty for tuition. They walk inside SAM'S OFFICE. SAM You've had a leadership briefing? JANET Yes, and I'm so happy I could dance in a musical, I swear. SAM That'd be a tough ticket to get. JANET It's wonderful, and I can only assume that it was your idea. SAM As a matter of fact, it was Josh and Toby, but I could see where you'd make the mistake. It does have the flavor of me, the insouciance. JANET Yeah. SAM So guess what I've been asked to do? JANET Validators? SAM Line up validators. JANET And you're asking me? SAM You're the third ranking non-male member of the minority on Ways and Means. JANET Well, when you say it like that. SAM Listen, the economist are going to say it's good policy. College presidents are going to talk about shrinking financial aid budgets. JANET Where do you want me? SAM Sunday mornings. I'll make you a book. Congratulations, Jeanette. JANET I'll do my best. SAM Your best is very good. JANET Oh, by the way, I was just called. Horton Wilde is in the hospital. He's had a heart attack. SAM Horton Wilde isn't the same as Thorton Wilder, is it? JANET I'm talking about California. SAM 'Cause if Thornton Wilder had a heart attack, that would be remarkable news. JANET you don't know who Horton Wilde is. SAM He wrote "Skin of Our Teeth." JANET He's the Democrat running in the 47th. How is it possible that you don't know who he is? SAM Has a Democrat won the California 47th in the last hundred years? JANET No. SAM That's how. JANET Well, maybe if when the Democrats had the White House there was a little more attention paid... SAM To Orange County? What kind? JANET Knowing the candidate's name, say. This was his fourth one by the way. SAM Fourth what? JANET Heart attack. SAM The Democrats have nominated someone who's had three heart attacks? JANET Yes. SAM And you think I don't care enough about...? What kind of signal does this send to...? I have to talk... No, this isn't going to be a part of my life. JANET Wow, you just did a whole thing all by yourself. SAM Yeah, I do that. JANET Thanks again for the opportunity. SAM I'll pass it on to Leo. CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY BARTLET Why do we think the boy is sick? MAN 1 Mike? MIKE CASPER Our thermal scanner shows no movement in the last eight hours of daylight. MAN 2 With congestive heart failure, you have to take the medication or you'll die. CASPER Yes. And going by the last time the prescription was filled, he's been out for six days. MAN 1 Mr. President, we fell the only way to save this boy is to abandon our plan and take the house now. We think we'll be succesful. BARTLET How do you do it? CASPER We put a hole in the wall with a C-4 explosive. 12 men storm the house wearing special made googles and earplugs. BARTLET Why? CASPER 'Cause they're going to throw flashbangs. A flashbang is about the size of a grenade but instead of spraying shrapnel, it releases a deafening sound and releases a flash seven times brighter than the sun. BARTLET You hear that? LEO I've seen them. BARTLET Where's the table? MAN 2 We're... all agreed, sir. BARTLET All right. We should do it. Let's get the kid. Good luck, everybody. Good luck, Casper. ALL Thank you, Mr. President. CASPER Thank you, sir. Everyone exits the room except for Leo and Bartlet. BARTLET What's going on? LEO Nothing. I was... Nothing. I was thinking about something Yosef said yesterday. CUT TO: INT. WAITING ROOM AT STACKHOUSE'S OFFICES - DAY Josh is sitting down reading the newspaper when Amy enters the room. She pours herself a cup of coffee. AMY Hello. JOSH Hello. Is Susan Thomas... AMY Troubled? JOSH A pain in the ass? AMY What do you think of him? JOSH Stackhouse? AMY Yeah. JOSH I've always like Stackhouse. I'd vote for him too but he's not on the ballot in Conneticut or 22 other states. Perhaps I should vote in New York or California where he's polling at four percent. AMY Of likely voters. JOSH I'm sorry? AMY Those polls sample likey voters. JOSH Yeah. AMY When a third candidate get elected, it's going to be by unlikely voters. JOSH And why is that good? Why are we eager...Why are we encouraging a group of people who are so howl-at-the-moon, lazy-ass stupid that they can't bring themselves to raise their hands? Why is it important that they be brought into the process? AMY You should stop being mad at me. JOSH I'm not. AMY You are. You know, I lost my job because of a strategy you organized. JOSH You lost your job in a fashion that insured you 93 better offers. AMY That's sweet of you to look out for me, but I liked the job I had. And when I lost it, I didn't pitch anything. I didn't stage a nutty. I fought you, I lost, I had a drink, I took a shower. 'Cause that's how it is in the NBA. You know what I do when I win? Two drinks! I didn't start consulting with Stackhouse to piss you off. There are things here I believe in. I didn't come out here to piss you off, either. I wanted to tell you that if the Senator responds on needle exchange, the President shouldn't take the bait. JOSH No kidding. AMY All right, I'm going back in. JOSH He's taking the President's votes. It's as simple... He is taking the President's votes. AMY Listen, I'm not indifferent to the situation, but that right there, that's the crazy part of your argument. JOSH Why? AMY They're not his votes. Amy walks out of the room and closes the door. FADE OUT END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY Donna is sitting at her desk reading a book, when Josh walks up to her. JOSH Hey. DONNA Huh? Hello. JOSH How was it? DONNA I'm sorry? JOSH How was it? DONNA [bewildered] It was...I don't know. It was... I don't... I don't think... maybe I'm not ready to talk about it yet. JOSH What was...? DONNA It was a transforming... no, that's the wrong word. We are not "transformed," we "locate the light switch." I own myself, Josh. You don't mind if I say that out loud at frequent intervals with no provocation for a little while, do you? JOSH Why? DONNA Because I live my life out loud. JOSH You're reading the book? DONNA The owner's manual. JOSH Are you serious? DONNA No, you idiot! I need a shower! JOSH All right. DONNA I've got, like, radioactive stuff all over me. JOSH Man, and you call me a snob. DONNA Oh, please. It was like a meeting for the There But For the Grace of God Society. JOSH Anybody ask you out? DONNA Shut up. JOSH So, report to me-- what did he say? DONNA Why is this important? They walk into JOSH'S OFFICE. JOSH What did he say? DONNA This is cheap. JOSH I'll say. DONNA I'm talking about this. So the guy's consulted for Ritchie. He's a buffoon, but he's harmless. Why should it be part of the campaign? JOSH Because it's not harmless in an American President. DONNA Nothing he said was wrong or objectionable. As suppose to the man who was sitting next to me whose name was Fern. JOSH Open this book to any page. Josh hands the book to Donna who opens the book and hands it back to Josh. JOSH Okay, well. This is an order form to buy "Owning Yourself," follow-up to the bestseller... DONNA "Leasing Yourself." JOSH "It's good to be trapped in a corner. That's when you act." DONNA That happens to be true. JOSH It is. In my case, it's the only time that I do. DONNA So? JOSH It's Immanuel Kant! "Duty! Sublime and mighty name, that embraces nothing charming or insinuating but requires submission." Every year a million freshman philosophy students read that sentence. DONNA And change their major? JOSH You've just got a mouth full of wiseass today, don't you? DONNA I located the lightswitch. JOSH Could you locate it again? DONNA So he cripped Kant. Isn't that what you're suppose to do? JOSH It comes from a 193-page book called "A Critique of Practical Reason." It's about metaphysica and epistemology. Tomba's impressively boiled it down to two-thirds of one page. Give me another one. DONNA "Look outside the cave." JOSH Right. That's from an old paperback called "The Republic" by Plato. Lucky Tomba's been able to fit on fortune cookie so it suits the attention span of the Republican nominee. Here he quotes Robert Frost. "Good fences make good neighbors." Did he talk about that? DONNA Yeah. JOSH What did he say? DONNA Basically, that if you stay within your personal space, you'll end up getting along with everyone. JOSH You had to study modern poetry. DONNA Yes. JOSH Is that what Frost meant? DONNA No, he meant that boundries are what alienate us from each other. JOSH Why did he say "Good fences make good neighbors?" DONNA He was being ironic, but I still don't see... JOSH What does this remind you of? "I believe in hope, not fear." "I'm a leader, not a politician." "It's time for an American leader." "America's earned a change." "I before 'E' except after 'C'!" It's the fortune-cookie candidacy! These are important thinkers, and understanding them can be very useful and it's not ever going to happen at a four-hour seminar. When the President's got an embassy surrounded in Haiti, or a keyhole photograph of a heavy water reactor, or any of the fifty life-and-death matters that walk across his desk every day, I don't know if he's thinking about Immanuel Kant or not. I doubt it, but if he does, I am comforted at least in my certainty that he is doing his best to reach for all of it and not just the McNuggets. Is it possible we would be willing to require any less of the person sitting in that chair? The low road? I don't think it is. DONNA All right. I'll go through the book this weekend, highlight somethings and I'll trace it back. JOSH Yeah, make sure you... DONNA I said I'd do it, Buckminster! JOSH A guy named Fern? DONNA Don't talk to me about Fern. JOSH You sure it wasn't Vern? DONNA No. I thought it was Vern but it's Fern. JOSH Let me know when the report gets in. Donna walks out of Josh'S office, but looks back before she rounds the corner. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo is sitting at his desk reading when Sam knocks on the door frame then walks inside. LEO Hey, Sam. SAM What's wrong with the other door? LEO I don't know. You close it and it's locking by itself. What's up? SAM Do you know who Horton Wilde is? LEO That name sounds familiar. He's running in Orange County. SAM Yeah. He's in the hospital. He's had a heart attack. LEO I'm sorry to hear that. We'll send something. SAM It's his fourth. In the Idaho 2nd we're running a guy who lost the race for city council. In the Texas 22nd our candidate's an electrical engineer who paid his filing fee by dumping the cash out of a cigar box. The Arizona 6th features a Democrat who nine weeks ago, registered as... a Democrat. LEO You just named three districts that are impossible for Democrats. Finding qualified sacrificial lambs ain't easy. SAM When the D-Triple-C tries to raise money by saying "We're taking back the House"? It doesn't appear as if we're giving it all we got. MARGARET Line one. LEO This is it. We're putting our resources where they'll do the most good. [picks up the phone] This is Leo McGarry. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, can someone fax that over? Thank you. SAM We didn't get the five. LEO No. SAM Three? LEO Two. SAM Two? LEO Yeah. Margaret! Would you let Josh, Toby and C.J. know that the report came out? It's two debates and I'm here. MARGARET Yeah. SAM They give you a reason? LEO They're faxing it over. SAM Don't we want one debate alone on new global threats? I guess, I mean, doesn't everybody want one debate...? LEO I don't know. Do you read much internatinal news? SAM Herald Tribune. Whatever C.J. puts in front of me. Agence-France. LEO Then you've read that Qumar's reopened the investigation into Abdul Shareef's plane going down. SAM Yeah. Watch. They're going to say Israel had something to do with it. LEO Do you think they did? SAM What do I know? Shareef was a bad guy. Feels like he had money in the Bahji cell. LEO He did. He was also behind the plot to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge. SAM Bridges and tunnels. That's my nightmare. What's yours? LEO Well, now it's bridges and tunnels, Sam. SAM Then my work here is done. LEO It's that I don't know what winning looks like. What does it look like. Is it... I mean, is it honestly the U.S. flag flying over Mecca? Is that what's going to straighten this out? And if that's the case, why are we postponing that? What are we hoping is going happens in the meantime? SAM That somebody will think of something before we have to do the unthinkable. LEO You're one of the big minds of your generation. Have you thought of anything yet? SAM No. LEO Neither have I. Neither has the Preisdent of the United States-- also a pretty good mind. SAM The Golden Gate Bridge? LEO Yeah. SAM Leo, we didn't have anything to do with Shareef's plane going down, do we? Leo pretends to ignore Sam by reading some papers. SAM Sorry. Two debates? LEO Yeah. The President and Bruno aren't going to take it well. SAM There's actually one person who's going to take it worse. LEO Who? Someone knocks on the door. TOBY [OS] Somebody open the damn door, please? SAM It's locked or something. Don't try to force it. I'm going to try... Sam gets up to open the door, when Toby comes charging through the other door. TOBY Two debates. SAM Oh, good. LEO Yeah. TOBY Did they say why? LEO They're faxing over their statement and having their press conference Monday. MARGARET Here's the fax. Margaret hands the fax to Leo, but Toby snatches it out of her hands before Leo can get it. MARGARET And the President's asking for you next door. TOBY "Giving the inability of the two major..." Do you mind that I'm reading this? LEO Would it matter? TOBY "...the two major parties to agree upon earlier Commission proposals, the uncertainty caused by recent Court rulings, and the shortened time period in which to schedule debates for maximum viewing, the Commission hereby amends..." He got exactly what he wanted! For dragging his feet! LEO Well, that's why he did it. You can't fault him for having a winning strategy. TOBY I'm not faulting him; I'm faulting them. LEO I'll be back in a minute. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE- CONTINUOUS Mike Casper and crew are giving Bartlet a briefing on the situation in Iowa. CASPER That should be marked Central Daylight Time, 2:05 P.M.. BARTLET Leo, they did it. LEO What? BARTLET Casper's boys. LEO Hey, really? BARTLET One suspect... you should tell him. CASPER One suspect was shot and killed, another wounded in the leg. BARTLET Wounded in the leg. That's it. CASPER Our guys... BARTLET Our guys are fine. CASPER They are fine. We seized high explosive gunpowder, galvanized steel pipes, time fuses, blasting caps...A man walks in and hands another staffer a note. BARTLET And? Come on, and... CASPER Blueprints to the pool at KSU. LEO And the kid? BARTLET He's... CASPER Go ahead, sir. BARTLET Univerisy Hospital. Stable condition. Mike, pick yourself out a daughter. My oldest is married, but I can have it annulled. The Pope said he'd do it, I swear to God. CASPER That's very friendly of you, sir. Thank you. BARTLET Jerry, ws that note anything I need? JERRY I don't know. Israeli Search and Rescue's looking for a transport that fell off the radar about twelve hours, uh, 12 hours and 22 minutes into the flight-- about 15, um... I'm sorry, about 25 minutes before it was scheduled to land at Ben Gurion airport. BARTLET Where did it originate? JERRY It originated um... oh, God. Mr.President, I think Ben Yosef is on that plane. I think... LEO He is. MORRIS Did they give coordintes? JERRY 33-51 North, 34-47 East. WOMAN 34-47... JERRY It's Lebanon, right? MORRIS Yeah, southern Lebanon. JERRY At any rate, Mr. President, the, uh, S and R's just gotten underway. BARTLET Okay. Somebody will keep me posted. JERRY Yes, sir. CASPER Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Mike? No kidding, thank you. CASPER Thank you, sir. Casper and crew exit the Oval Office. LEO Ben Yosef's plane is missing. Now, how did I not see that coming? FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. THE PRESIDENT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT SUNDAY NIGHT A football game is playing on the TV. Bartlet is lounging on the couch, while C.J. sits across from him in a chair. BARTLET Yeah, call that play on first down again, Coach 'cause I'm sure they're not ready for it this time. You know, if you ask a professional athlete what the hardest thing is to do in sports, they'll all say "hit a baseball." But a coach once told me that the hardest thing to do in sports is to walk into your Super Bowl locker room at half-time and change the strategy that got you there 'cause it's no longer working. C.J. It's really okay that after almost every play, somebody requires medical attention? BARTLET It's not even the number of debates, as much as the format. 2 minute response followed by a 1 minute reply. That's not a debate. That's not a debate! It's a joint press conference. Sam enters. SAM Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Nice job on the Red Mass. First rate.You don't mind if I change everything, do you? SAM No, sir. BARTLET Here... here... and I added a section here. SAM Ah! Cute. Let's take a look. [sits down to read] BARTLET It's a joint press conference. It's not neccesary for the candidates to be in the same room. That part's just theater. C.J. [to Sam] We're talking about ways to possibly lower expectations. SAM I like what you did. I like the 80-20. BARTLET Be nice to be able to respond to what the other person has said, and ask them a question. And the moderator should be empowered to press for an answer, just as a judge can of a witness, or a member of Congress in a confirmation hearing. SAM Hmm. C.J. Sam, what do you think about me writing you an urgent memo? "I think Ritchie's a more skilled debater than we're anticipating. He has, after all, debated three gubernatorial candidates and won each time." SAM And leak the memo? C.J. Yeah. SAM I think you'll look silly. C.J. I'm used to that. SAM I don't think it'll do much. C.J. Me, neither. BARTLET Cicero wanted to restore the overthrown king of Egypt, and the Roman Senate debated all day and into the night, every military and diplomatic consequence until they collapsed on the Senate floor. Lentulus is trying to overthrow the Republic. Ceaser goes up against Cato-- by the way, in the very first public debate on the death penalty. They were against each other, it was a debate and they explored the meaning of spirituality and suffering. SAM And then they put Lentulus to death. BARTLET That's right, but my point... C.J. Why not? BARTLET Why not, what? C.J. Ask for a different format. We didn't get the number of debates we wanted, so why not ask for a different format? BARTLET We'd never get it. C.J. We might. BARTLET The Ritchie people wold put up too much of a fight. C.J. They might consider it. The might consider it if we give them something else they wanted. BARTLET Other then this House, we don't have anything else they want. SAM Sure we do. Sure we do. We wanted five debates, they wanted none. We have exactly one thing left that they want. BARTLET Wow. Isn't this exactly why casino's don't play with a one-deck shoe? SAM Yes. Charlie enters. CHARLIE Mr. President... BARTLET Hmm... CHARLIE Mr. President, the car's ready. BARTLET He's still running that screen pass. Get Toby to sign off, and I'm in. Bartlet and Charlie exit into the RESIDENCE HALLWAY. BARTLET This is going to be interesting. Do I need my speech? CHARLIE I've got it. You mind if I ask you something about Red Mass I'm curious about? CUT TO: EXT. PORTICO - CONTINUOUS Charlie and Bartlet walk out of the residence onto the portico where we pick them up in the middle of their conversation that was started in the residence. BARTLET And so how isn't it a Constitutional issue? It is, but sometimes you say, "Big deal." It was the intention not to have a national religion, not to have anyone's religious views imposed on anyone else, and not to have the government encourage a national display of piety as a substitute for real action. I'll be in the office a minute. CHARLIE Thank you. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Charlie enters from the portico. EMILY Hey... this was dropped at the Northwest gate for you just now. CHARLIE Who's it from? EMILY I don't know. CHARLIE It's from Anthony. He's the one who was here yesterday. Charlie reads the note. EMILY Nice note? CHARLIE No, at several points he suggest that I might have an improper relationship with my mother. EMILY Why are you smiling? CHARLIE He wrote it on the back of the First Amendment. Charlie walks out to the HALLWAY. CHARLIE Hey, Josh, why can't the Mets throw strikes when they've got a three- one lead? JOSH Yeah, let me ask you another. With a runner on first who's a threat to steal, why don't you... Josh notices Amy sitting in The Mural Room. CHARLIE See you. JOSH Okay. Josh enters THE MURAL ROOM. JOSH Hey. AMY Oh, hey. I didn't... Hi. My mind was wondering. JOSH What are you doing here? AMY I'm sorry? JOSH What are you doing here? AMY Danya Zucker had an extra ticket for the Mass, and she asked me. Are you going? JOSH No... No. Josh leads Amy outside to the PORTICO. JOSH Can you give me any indication, what's the senator's thinking? AMY I really can't. He spoke to me for a while yesterday, and... again today, and I don't know what he's thinking, but... I can tell you what I told him at the end. JOSH What? AMY I told him I thought he'd been an extraordinary public servant--thoughtful and energetic and compassionate and courageous, and I told him I'd be voting for the President. JOSH Why? AMY First of all, I'm crazy about the President, Josh. I've been crazy about him for longer than you've known who he was. And I'll keep poking him with a stick. That's how I show my love. But... as a women's issue, it's a no-brainer. The next Justice can overturn Roe and... you don't screw around with that. Hey, you want to see what I learned to do since you got me fired? JOSH Look... AMY Watch. Amy pulls a balloon out of her pocket and blows it up. AMY Right away that's impressive, right? But that's just the preparaation. This is he thing. Amy twists and folds the balloon into what many say resembles an abstract penis. JOSH What is it? AMY What do you want it to be? DANYA [OS] Amy? AMY Out here. [to Josh] I'll see you. Amy goes back inside leaving Josh out on the portico. CUT TO: INT. SHRINE OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION - NIGHT The choir is singing Vilvadi's "Gloria." CHOIR "Gloria, gloria Gloria, gloria In excelsis Deo In Excelsis deo..." SAM I was thinking about what you asked me before, about have I been able to think of anything and I said, "No." And you said, "Neither have I or neither has the President." LEO What about it? SAM I wouldn't speak for anybody else but you know I'm not done yet, right? Leo looks at Sam then looks down to the yarmulke he is holding in his hand, that was given to him by Ben Yosef. The choir is still singing Vivaldi's "Gloria." The congregation stands as the Cardinal makes his procession down the aisle. Music ends. CUT TO: EXT. COURTYARD OUTSIDE OF CHURCH - NIGHT We pan down from a stainglass window to C.J. sitting on a bench outside. Toby walks from inside to church to C.J. C.J. Toby... TOBY Nope. Stay there. I'm first looking for something to beat you with. C.J. Look... TOBY I'm going to do it with my hands. C.J. Let me tell you something. TOBY One debate? C.J. What's really the difference between one debate and two debates? TOBY What's the difference betw...? It's a whole other debate. It's a second debate! It's 100% more debate! C.J. Someone should ask him if he's aware taxpayers pay $9,000 this instead of $200,000 that. And somebody should ask him what he means by, and somebody should ask him how he plans on..." You said that, and you were right! TOBY What if he has a bad night? It's happened. What if he gets himself into trouble? What if Ritchie comes after Abbey or the kids and the President goes postal? That's what I'd try to do. Stress, hot lights... What if he has an episode? C.J. We lose. When you can't lower expectations, you only have one thing you can do. You have to meet them. Toby turns around to think. He turns back around. TOBY Clear 24 hours from the President's schedule. We're going away. C.J. gives him a silent thank you, then walks back into the CHURCH FOYER. SUSAN There she is. C.J.! C.J. Susan. SUSAN The Senator would like a quick word with the President. Is that possible? C.J. Well, I don't know, Susan. SUSAN He should. C.J. Okay. C.J. walks into the sanctuary up to Bartlet who is conversing with men of the chruch. She whispers in his ear and Bartlet follows her to the CHURCH STEPS where Senator Stackhouse is waiting. STACKHOUSE That was a wonder talk, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you. I didn't write much of it. STACKHOUSE The 80-20 section. BARTLET That part I wrote. I added it. STACKHOUSE When you first started... You talk about how much politicians hunger after the 80-20 issue, I thought, "My God, I'm about to watch a train wreck. He's going to make a political speech to the Supreme Court while standing in the middle of a church." But of course you didn't. I should've known better. "Who among the 80 will stand up for the 20?" BARTLET You did, Howard. You did all the time. STACKHOUSE I was telling Josh Lyman about a friend who just got his pilot's license. He told me the most remarkable thing. He said a new pilot will fly into cloud cover. There'll be no visibility. And they'll check their gauges, they'll look at the artificial horizon, it'll show them level, but they won't trust it. So, they'll make an adjustment and then another and another... He said the number of new pilots who fly out of clouds completely upside-down would knock you out. My office will make arrangements for me to endorse you in the morning. You keep your eyes on the horizon, Mr. President. Stackhouse turns around and walks down the front steps. Bartlet ignoring the reporters calling his name, watches Stackhouse as he crosses the street and disappears into the crowd. SECRET SERVICE AGENT Are you ready to go, sir? BARTLET No. C.J.? C.J. Yes, sir? BARTLET Would it be possible to move the press off the church grounds? I'm going to take questions for a little while. C.J. On what? BARTLET Needle exchange. C.J. Yes, sir. C.J. walks down the church steps up to the press. C.J. If you'll move off the church grounds. Just move back. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 4.04 -- "The Red Mass" Original Air Date: October 9, 2002, 9:00 PM EST Transcribed by: CK1Czar