Season 7 – Episode 15 – “Welcome To Wherever You Are”

Episode Summary:

A federal prosecutor’s threat to indict Toby on another charge has the potential to affect the impending election.

Script:

Previously on The West Wing: State-by-states are out.
Tied in South Carolina, Arkansas and California.
You wanna be involved.
It doesn’t come with an invitation.
You involve yourself or you don’t.
I have an awkward question to ask about your brother.
Did David ever mention anything about another kind of space shuttle? A military shuttle? Did he ever mention anything about anything like that? The sentencing guidelines even for a first-time offender, were 63 to 78 months’ jail time.
– You have an obligation – Don’t bring up my kids! When you walk out of here, there’ll be people out there who think of you as a hero.
I just don’t for a moment want you thinking I’ll be one of them.
– That was a rally.
– Thirty thousand people.
One hell of an opening act.
You know, he was 17 when he recorded that? – That’s kind of hot.
– You partial to young achievers? Musicians, really.
– Okay, easy there, Stevie.
– Hey, if you can’t boogie to the man You think she’s singing about Leo? Chicago, we hardly knew ye.
– We’re in St.
Louis.
– Really? We should hit the town, try some of that fresh frozen custard.
– We have an early rally in Scranton.
– That’s not an option? – Afraid not.
– Is sleep an option? – Sleep is for the weak.
– You’ve had six hours in three days.
– You’re starting to talk funny.
– We’ve added some jokes to the stump.
We’ll get him to sleep once we go over the schedule.
Man, it’s ugly.
Four states and six markets a day.
– Killer, huh? – You sound excited about this.
– I’m just saying, Everest is for sissies.
– You’re a masochist.
– This is news? – Hey, I heard he did well.
Almost as well as Mr.
Wonder.
– Where’s Annabeth? – I threw her in a luggage compartment.
– She’s checking in with Leo.
– Apparently.
– Excuse me? – Nothing.
– Really? Nothing.
– What? – You don’t wanna know.
– Know what? – Let’s take a look at the schedule.
– Good idea.
Lou? Across the top, days of the week.
Down the side, major battleground states.
Blue S’s for Santos.
Green L’s for Leo.
Red B’s for Bartlet.
The purple clovers entertain me when I’m waiting for Josh to make up his mind.
– Nice touch.
– Tomorrow is Scranton, Bethlehem Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Dayton and Houston? – It’s all about hustle.
– Another stop in Houston? It’s a turnout game, so yes.
Plus, it’s a bridge to Friday when we cover Texas then on to L.
A.
And Atlanta.
– Leo thinks we need a stop in Florida.
– He wants to add a stop? Zogby’s got us down by two, and we’re not there till Saturday.
– Congressman? – Yeah? – Sir? – Okay.
– I could use some coffee.
– No more coffee for you.
– Helps with narcolepsy.
– Not with sleeping.
We’re considering adding a stop in Florida tomorrow.
We’re down by two.
– The whole state is dark until Saturday.
– Sure, if you think – I will do it.
– No, honey.
Zoey Bartlet will be doing some women’s events outside of Miami tomorrow if Mrs.
Santos could join – Okay, you’ll have her back for the trick-or-treating photo op in Dayton? – No problem.
– Okay, good.
Tomorrow, Pennsylvania Ohio, Texas.
Friday, Texas then California.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, we hit the big five.
Big five: Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, Texas and California.
– Five states a day? – We’re gonna play time-zone hopscotch.
– Fly with the sun.
– California’s screwing up our sleep cycle.
– What sleep cycle? – Congressman? Five days, huh? Hey, you can hang by your thumbs for five days.
There you have it, folks.
Signed, sealed and delivered.
The last five days of the Santos campaign.
Did you see the Illinois numbers? – You should do the crossword.
– We’re up three points.
People who do the crossword are less likely to experience mental decline.
– I enjoy these calls.
– Miami-Dade, you need to pay attention – HQ e-mailed the latest ads.
– Hang on.
– Got Vinick’s? – Every ad he’s run all week.
– I wanna screen them.
– Pennsylvania numbers? – Pennsylvania, Illinois, California – Miami-Dade voter registration.
You’re a killjoy, you know that? You’re a doorstep darkener.
– You darken doorsteps.
– Yeah, you need to look in Vinick’s remarks in Ohio and Texas.
Sullivan’s remarks in Virginia.
– You got the? – Yeah.
And the rundown on the Thanks.
– Sorry.
Go ahead.
– Miami-Dade.
– You’re down two in Florida.
– It’s pretty loud.
Kind of hard to hear.
– You’re down two in Florida, Josh.
– I’m on it.
– How many states are you hitting today? – I think Josh Lyman over there is shooting for about 50.
You got another meeting today? – Yeah.
– Let’s make a deal? – Or not.
– Let me know how it goes.
Yeah, thanks.
– Okay, one more.
– Who do you like in the game? Philly and New York? Both strong teams.
Should be a great game.
– Thanks, congressman.
– Thanks, guys.
– We are in Pennsylvania, right? – Yeah.
– Harris Malbin, Pennsylvania party chair.
– Harris.
Got Wallace from headquarters on turnout, Goodwin on legal contingencies CIA briefer, former NSA Nancy McNally on Kazakhstan.
How you doing? A lot of people out there for an 8 a.
m.
Rally.
Let’s try that again.
How are you doing? I’m okay.
Except for the thermometer stuck up – Congressman? – Just checking in.
– Jon, good to see you.
– My pleasure, sir.
Lou mentioned all the work you’ve been doing with Habitat.
– It’s a privilege to have you.
– Thanks.
It’s a privilege to play for the next president of the United States.
Hello, Toby.
Toby? – Yeah? – We need to prep before What’s a five-letter word for “blow hard”? – Toby? – That’s four letters.
We need to prep before the U.
S.
Attorney gets here.
– Yes.
Yes.
No.
And I already knew.
– Excuse me? Wanted to prep.
Those are the answers.
I know because he’s asked me the same question five or six times.
– Okay.
There’s a reason – I should make a tape.
There’s a reason the U.
S.
Attorney keeps asking us down here.
– Counselor.
– Good morning.
– Good morning, counselor.
– Good morning.
No, I already got Vinick’s schedule.
I need Sullivan’s.
– A hearing aid and a pair of bifocals.
– And anything that we can get on the status of the troops in Astana.
– Okay? Thanks.
– Okay, thank you.
– Hey, Teddy.
– Hey.
– Welcome to the circus.
– Thanks.
– Did you get to meet Bon Jovi? – Bon Jovi’s here? – Stevie Wonder opened last night.
– I’m a Jersey girl, Joshua.
Camaros, muscle T’s, a little Slippery When Wet.
– That is an album title, right? – Guys, can we? – Yeah.
Teddy, go ahead.
– I wanted to take you through the election-day turnout.
– I don’t believe it.
– What? – They stole our slogan.
Yes, America can.
– Isn’t that our slogan? – Damn right.
– Teddy.
– You all right? – No.
– Her back went out.
– Get me Donna.
– I have seven copies of Vinick’s schedule.
– Just keep talking.
– Can I get Sullivan’s schedule? – Okay – Election turnout.
– Right.
We have 10,000 volunteers in the major cities.
– I need copies of the first Vinick ad.
– Five thousand in New York.
– Latest polls from AP and Reuters.
– Thank you.
– An additional 5000 in New York, Boston Hey, hold on.
I need the polling detail for – Teddy, we worried about the inner city? – Otto! – We’re fine.
Talk about Latino turnout.
– We are concerned about Latino turnout.
I need the Colorado polling detail.
Miami-Dade voter registration numbers are only up two percent in the last four years.
– Miami-Dade’s 60 percent Latino.
– Sixty-two.
Thank you.
So do you think Miami is indicative – Latino turnout across the country? Yes.
– Given how crucial Latino turnout is Yeah, I got it.
So, what are we gonna do? You know, to remind everyone that I’m Latino? – “Ineligible ex-cons in Florida.
” – Have you see my phone? It’s in your A lot of states deny ex-cons the right to vote.
Maybe that’s why we don’t run on the bus.
We don’t wanna push ex-con voting, but a lot of these guys already cleared parole.
– They should be allowed to vote – This is a mess.
He’s got the Times-Tribune call.
Do we think the governor is stacking the list? The suggestion he’s trying to keep Latinos away from the polls Would set the fire under the ass of every goica.
But that’s a hell of an accusation for me to be throwing out there.
– Not you.
– See these Colorado numbers? Yeah, that’s why I asked Otto for the detail.
– There’s a rally in Miami at noon – You wanna send Helen there? – She has to mention it.
– Late for the Times.
– We know! – Why can’t we get Ruiz or Hinajosa to give that speech? – Sir, if we’re gonna do this we gotta do it with a bang.
– My blond wife lecturing the National Organization of Latinas.
Yeah, that’s a bang.
We can’t get the media trucks if we don’t have a headliner.
Okay.
Thanks, Teddy.
Give me a couple of seconds.
Ms.
Waterman, Mr.
Ziegler.
– Mr.
Blake.
– Sorry to keep you waiting.
– Mr.
Ziegler, I invited you here today – A five-letter word for “blow hard”? – Toby.
– Just asking.
Mr.
Ziegler, as much as we both enjoy these sessions I was hoping we could keep this one brief.
Thank you.
Now, there’s a deal on the table.
As much as I wouldn’t mind locking you up for the next six years the information leaked was classified.
You were not authorized to have it.
And the public, a group you should have some allegiance to has the right to know where you got it.
You broke the law.
You didn’t do it alone.
Say where you got your information, we make it a year.
With time off for good behavior? I appreciate you keeping it brief.
I’ll keep it briefer.
I’m not interested.
– Didn’t think you would be.
– First five times I said no tip you off? They did, in fact.
Which is why I’m adding a sweetener.
What is it? – It’s a second indictment.
– For what? Obstruction of justice.
Mr.
Ziegler tells me where he got his information or I call the grand jury and have him indicted for obstruction of justice.
Tomorrow.
You’re adding another indictment four days before a presidential election? Not only will I indict you again but I’m going to subpoena C.
J.
Cregg, Leo McGarry and President Bartlet.
It’ll look like he’s covering up for someone in the White House.
– No reason to believe he’s not.
– You’ll sabotage a national election? No, you are.
Oh, and by the way, it’s “storm.
” – Excuse me? – Five letters for “blow hard.
” “Storm.
” Pretty sure it’s the word you’re looking for.
What will you focus on in your first 100 days? We’ve been tossing around ideas.
We’re just starting to narrow it down.
– Sure, but – It’s our slogan.
– Yes, but tights? – We used it two months ago.
– Not exactly presidential.
– I don’t care if it’s a coincidence.
– I’ll see what I can do.
– Come on, there’s a story here.
Hello? Hello? – How you feeling? – Terrible.
They just hung up on me.
– AP? – Reuters.
– Snotty.
– Little.
How’s it going with the Times? I got off the phone with Stu from The Tonight Show.
– Comedy writer? – He thinks so.
You don’t think the congressman would wear tights on TV, do you? – Tights? – They want him to dress like Robin Hood.
– Why not Zorro? – I’ll call the Times.
Let me know if they bite.
Have you seen Jon? – Jon? – Bon Jovi.
Sixty thousand people in Bethlehem, the congressman wanted to say thank you.
– I think I saw him on the press van.
– Great.
Jack, it’s Lou.
I’ve got a story for you.
– How do you think you’re doing? – Those who are listening know that we have fresh ideas.
– One more question.
Do you plan on watching the game this weekend? Philly and New York, they’re both strong teams.
– Thank you, congressman.
– Thank you all.
Thank you.
Thank you.
– You have my wife? – She’s on the phone with Josh.
Congresswoman Lea Stein.
Lea.
How are you? Barry, thanks for coming.
Just give me a minute.
– No problem, congressman.
– Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course, ma’am, we just Actually, he’s right here.
– She’s pretty riled up.
– I wonder why.
– Hey.
– The National Organization of Latinas? – You got those numbers for me? – Yes.
– He does remember I’m white.
– He does now.
– Whiter than white.
White Album white.
– Believe me, this wasn’t White devil, white dahlia, the white witch who lured a gorgeous Latino man away Honey, if you’re not comfortable doing this I’ll go.
But I’m not gonna give a speech.
I’ll do the intro.
Let Hinajosa talk about the ex-convict lists.
Okay.
Zogby’s got us down by four in Colorado? – Yeah.
– And only because it’s a good cause.
On behalf of big, gorgeous Latino men everywhere I mean the 5 million ex-convicts who can’t vote in this country.
– Right.
– My mother’s flying the kids up at 4.
Make sure they don ‘t eat too much Halloween candy before I get there.
She’ll headline.
She wants Hinajosa to do the speech.
– What is happening in Colorado? – Sullivan parachuted in last week.
– Seemed to have an impact.
– You think? Donna’s looking for surrogates to send in.
– Berryhill’s sick, no A.
G.
– Takers on the slogan story? – No Reuters or Post.
– Times? – CIA briefer’s here.
– So who are we sending to Colorado? Leo’s in Michigan and Illinois.
Bartlet’s never been very popular out there.
– The V.
P.
? – Plays well in the Rockies.
– Russell’s in Michigan today.
– Get him on the phone.
You wanna send the briefer or should I sit with Goodwin? – Get him on the chat.
– The chat? – Atrios just flew in.
– Atrios? – You have a live chat on Eschaton.
– Really? I speak three languages, but It’s a blog.
We’re gonna bump the CIA and Barry Goodwin for a guy named Atrios? He’s raised 300 grand online.
He has almost as many readers as The Philadelphia Inquirer.
Sorry.
– Atrios.
Welcome to the campaign.
– Sir, it’s an honor.
There’s more than enough here to convince a grand jury.
– No way he’ll go through with it.
– Toby This is absolute partisan garbage, total political bull It’s got nothing to do with politics.
The guy’s a Bartlet appointee.
Plenty of moderate Democrats in love with Vinick.
It’s his responsibility to uncover the truth.
– Be that as it may, he’s bluffing.
– Maybe.
There’s no way he’s gonna throw a national election.
– What? – Look, Toby If you’re trying to protect your brother, then Damn it, Toby, he indicts you tomorrow.
You know that a McGarry subpoena is gonna all but guarantee a Vinick landslide on Tuesday.
He’s not gonna do it.
Are you really prepared to take that chance? Yes, I get it.
I need the Rasmussen poll.
Yes, I need to talk to Edie.
– Is that the latest polling? – Oh, yeah.
How’s it looking? – Pretty good.
– Lou, I’ve got Edie.
– Tell her I’ll call her back.
Thank you.
– Cool, Illinois.
It is.
And you know what else is cool? Your new album.
Fantastic.
– Yeah, I’ll hold.
– I’m sorry, could you hold? Donna Moss.
– I have a Bob on the phone.
– I’ll call him back.
– You said there was a story on Drudge? – Excuse me, I have to make a phone call.
– Sure, no problem.
– Living on a prayer? – Aren’t you on the phone? – I’m on hold.
What’s on Drudge? – Got the latest Rasmussen poll.
– It’s skewed.
– It’s got us up by four in Ohio.
– Ohio trends Santos.
Story of the day.
– You wanna call? Okay.
– Yeah.
– I’ve got Annabeth.
– I’ll call back.
I’m holding for the V.
P.
You got that? You still pushing the slogan story? – It’s dead.
Why? – Okay.
Vinick’s “Yes, America Can” bus tour? Buses were made in Canada.
You’re a very attractive young man.
– You want me to call? – I got it.
– I got two good stories.
– I’ve got Annabeth.
– I’ll call Hi there.
– He’s gonna call you back.
Yeah.
Yeah, he can call back.
– Unbelievable.
– Russell ditch you again? Only guy in America that I can’t get on the phone.
The Rasmussen poll.
Sullivan’s back in Colorado? – Pull Sullivan’s schedule off the web.
– Ray Sullivan drew record crowds I’ll get it.
– But perhaps the most surprising development of the day came an hour ago in Miami.
I’m calling again for the vice president.
I understand he’s a busy man.
I’m calling on behalf of Matthew Santos.
– It’s a concern.
– Anything can you do Mrs.
Santos, some Democratic activists have argued that laws against felon voting should be abolished.
It’s the largest block of disenfranchised voters in the country.
I think it’s something we should look at.
– Yeah, I need to call him back.
– Can I call you back? Hello? Hello? Hi.
– Toby? – Yeah.
Are you okay? – Still coming over tonight? – Yeah.
– Five o’ clock, right? – Sure.
Well, I thought maybe I’d come over now.
– Help the kids get into their costumes.
– The kids are at preschool till 2.
– Right.
– Toby? – Yeah? – You’re sitting outside my house.
Yeah.
– Can I come in? – Toby, I have a lunch and two campaign events.
I could tag along.
Probably not the message you wanna send to your constituents, huh? Why don’t you come over at 5 like we planned? Okay.
Vinick’s tax plan has so many exceptions and loopholes.
Tell him I wouldn’t be a proponent of any tax plan that couldn’t be figured out on an Excel spreadsheet.
Let’s go, let’s go! – I’m happy to type those answers.
– I gonna have to pull the congressman.
Not much of a people person.
– As many readers as The Philadelphia – I got it.
– Sullivan’s in Colorado again? – The V.
P.
Should neutralize him.
– He gonna do it? – We’re playing phone tag.
Ohio’s trending Santos.
– Rasmussen poll? – Story of the day.
Okay.
Am I gonna get to do my CIA briefing on stability ops in Kazakhstan? – Yeah.
– What? Your wife just made a statement that makes it sound like she’s for felon voting.
In a universal suffrage, “Free Capone” kind of way.
That won’t play well with law-and-order moderates in the West.
Not really, no.
– I have to take a position.
– Governor’s teeing us up outside and we need to get a photo op in with DNC Finance.
What is the schedule after the rally? Interview with the Inquirer, sit downs with Goodwin, Nancy McNally Plus the Kazakhstan briefing.
– The Cincinnati event at 3.
– Yeah.
– We’re behind.
– You wanna bump McNally? No! See if Goodwin and McNally can come to Ohio.
We’ll talk about the rest of this on the plane and then talk legal and Cincinnati in Kazakhstan.
– He meant the: – Yeah, I’m gonna get him more coffee.
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you, guys, for all of your efforts.
Our pleasure, Mr.
President.
I’ve taken pictures with three commander in chiefs.
I think that’s commanders in chief.
Oh, well.
How about leaders of the free world, then? – Cart before the horse, my friend.
– Oh, no.
I know how to pick the winners, and you’re gonna win.
We’ll be back for a photo in the Oval before you know it.
– Santos! Santos! – Santos! I had more questions for that CIA briefer about the troops that are stationed at the – Yeah, we lost that guy at the rally.
– Probably not a field operative.
Congresswoman Cone, Eighth District.
How are you? – Congresswoman, good to see you.
– Great to see you.
Well, can we make sure that someone is in Ohio? Yes.
I’ll have Lou put in a call.
– Thank you so much for your support.
– My pleasure.
You wanted to look over the foreign-policy portion? – We hear anything from Russell? – No, but I got Leno on the phone.
– Is it Stu? – Stu? – He’s one of the writers.
– It’s not Stu.
Hi, Mr.
Leno.
Yeah, this is Josh Lyman here.
Yes, I will hold.
Numbers from Michigan.
We’re at five up.
– The congressman – We should pull Leo, send him south.
doesn’t wanna wear tights.
Can you conference me into the McGarry Advance detail, please? – Who are you holding for? – The vice president.
– Getting a little existential in here.
– Hello? Hi.
We are waiting for him I have to take a pen to this whole Israel section here.
– It’s Josh Lyman.
– So I want you to set up a conference call with Harold Waller – Want me to spell that? for later tonight.
– Any traction on that bus story? – Eschaton blog picked it up.
– Your new pal Atrios is giving us love.
– What bus story? Vinick did the “Yes, America Can” tour on Canadian buses.
Anybody check where our buses are made? Otto! I don ‘t know why people who break laws should have a say in making – Surprise.
– It’s not wine and roses for him.
He’s losing footing in the black community.
While locking up his base.
We need you to take another photo with the senator.
– I took one on the tarmac.
– Congresswoman got one on the plane.
Make sure the press gets off this before the weekend.
Make a statement in Ohio.
These Jim Crow laws should’ve been thrown out with the poll tax.
I’m not for giving the vote to axe-murderers who get out of prison but for the ones who are non-violent – I’ll have Otto work on language.
Twenty-nine states deny ex-cons the right to vote.
We’ll take a hit.
I’d be concerned about moderate Dems in Texas and the West.
We’re gonna be in Texas till the election.
– But Arizona, Colorado – Yeah.
Did you try calling the vice president? – Hey.
– Hey.
No costume? Well, I thought about coming as Julius Rosenberg.
– Hi, Daddy.
– Hi, Molly.
– I’m a baseball player.
– I can see that.
– She’s an Oriole.
– Yeah.
What happened to the Yankees stuff I bought? She likes the little bird.
– Hi, Daddy! – Hi, Huck.
Come here.
Whoa, look at you.
He likes what she likes.
You guys going trick-or-treating? Are we going trick-or-treating? So do you wanna take them first? No, you go ahead.
– Sorry, but if there’s press – Yeah.
Okay, what are we gonna say? Trick or treat! Come on.
Stay close to Mommy, okay? While I know this is primarily a matter of state law I think it’s both imprudent and unreasonable for us to deny a political voice to people who have rehabilitated themselves.
– So you agree with your wife? – Well, I like to when I can.
– Would you let all criminals vote? – No.
But once non-violent offenders have done their time we should do everything we can to help facilitate a healthy return to society.
Okay, we need to wrap it up.
– Who do you like in the game? – Philly and New York, both strong teams.
Should be a great game.
Thank you.
– We’re in Ohio.
– Go Buckeyes! Play it again.
Play it again.
All right.
– We gonna need to do follow up? – With The Times and The Post.
– Leo’s on the same page? – He’s giving a statement in Minneapolis.
– The fairy queen is on my bus! – Hi, Daddy.
– Hi.
That’s a beautiful dress.
– It’s itchy.
– Hey, Dad.
– Ice cream before dinner.
Graeter’s, it’s a Cincinnati delicacy.
Made for a great photo op.
– Where’s their grandmother? – I saw her chatting with Ben Affleck.
There’s candy if you want a head start trick-or-treating.
– I do! – I do! You know what? I’ll keep an eye on them for you.
– Thanks, Jon.
– He’s fantastic.
An international rock star looking after my kids.
It’s like a dream come true.
Oh, you want me to – I got McNally on Kazakhstan? – Goodwin on the legal contingencies.
– And then McNally? – Probably The Times.
– I’ve got Leo on the phone.
– Yeah we were hoping to discuss sending him down south.
And WKRC’s been holding for half an hour.
We’ll try to squeeze McNally in after the trick-or-treating.
Let’s push the Waller call.
Can somebody find Helen’s mother and ask her to, you know, I don’t know, keep an eye on the kids.
How did we do? Couple of Mars bars.
– Bit-O-Honey? – That’ll do.
– So the witch thing works.
– Yeah? I mean, not as well as the Catholic-schoolgirl thing, but yeah.
– I had a meeting today.
– Okay.
U.
S.
Attorney’s office is threatening another indictment tomorrow.
Obstruction of justice.
Which may very well screw every Democrat in the country running for office.
Not to mention the Santos campaign.
What the hell’s the matter with you? Just tell them it was your brother.
– Okay.
– Look, David’s dead.
– Even if he were alive, he’d tell you – What if it wasn’t David? – Only you.
– What? A Republican hasn’t won the Maryland Eighth in 40 years.
I’m running neck and neck.
My campaign manager wants to make “that’s why I divorced him” buttons.
Just tell the U.
S.
Attorney it was David and this will all be over.
– It’s what he would’ve wanted.
– Don’t tell me what my brother would have wanted.
He did nothing wrong, and I will not consider for one second defaming his reputation over something he had absolutely nothing to do with.
Is that what you’re gonna tell the kids? – Hey, Josh.
– Yeah? When you get a sec, I’d like to pitch some ideas on service.
You know, volunteerism on the national level.
We’ve been working hard to make it hip again.
– “Volunteerism is the new black.
” – Right.
That’s our slogan.
– Yeah, I saw it on Oprah.
– Great.
I’d like to come down to D.
C.
Maybe during the transition.
– We’ll set something up.
– Thanks.
– Sure, Jon.
– Thanks.
Was there something? Oregon early voting returns, and I pushed the Waller call to 9.
What’s the Waller call? He wants to revisit the foreign-policy stuff.
Wants Waller to weigh in on Israel.
– That’s not gonna happen.
– He was adamant.
Cancel it.
Okay? We’re late.
– Annabeth said they’d be here soon.
– Yeah.
The congressman seems irritated.
– He’s sleep-deprived like the rest of us.
– Sure.
Bartlet put his fist through a couple of walls last week of the first campaign.
Where are we on Leno? They’ve got this whole Robin Hood Halloween skit they wanna do.
Robin Hood? Santos talks about closing tax loopholes for the rich.
Leno asks what he was for Halloween.
They cut to a bit of the congressman trick-or-treating in a Robin Hood costume.
I was thinking maybe without the tights? – Tights? My husband in tights? – Mrs.
Santos.
– Lock up the women’s vote.
– You’ve never seen his legs.
– We’re late.
If we – Yeah.
– Where are my kids? – They’re in the press van.
They’re getting a head start on trick-or-treating.
– Oh, that’s great.
– Mrs.
Santos! Not the best place for me right now, huh? If someone wouldn’t mind checking to make sure my kids are not in a diabetic coma – I’m on it.
– Great.
– Oh, sweet Lord in heaven.
– Yeah.
About the Robin Hood sketch? He’s already showing the felons the love.
We don’t need him to dress up like one.
– So how should I handle Leno? – Come up with something funnier.
Trust me, you’ll be happier.
Toby? Yeah? One out of every eight African-American men are unable to vote.
It’s clearly an issue.
Thanks.
Oh, absolutely.
Excuse me? No, we’ve had a lot of people out for the rallies.
I think we’re doing all right.
– Six hundred lawyers in Florida.
– Leo wanted to double it.
– Gotta be a joke there somewhere.
– Some of this is routine.
Machines don’t work, folks are turned away.
We’ll want lawyers to keep the polls open.
– We’ve got legal briefs.
– We drafted those in case we need to contest the battlegrounds.
– Right.
– We’d rather things go smoothly on Election Day, which is why we mobilized 10,000 lawyers.
But the polls in Pennsylvania and Ohio, they’re really pretty close.
We need to be prepared for a court battle.
Congressman, we’re pulling into Dayton.
Dayton.
Thanks.
You ever get nostalgic for the good old days? When there was just a winner and a loser? Talk to my Republican friends in Chicago.
The good old days weren’t really.
– How about a Top Ten list? – That’s Letterman.
– He’s funny.
– Yeah.
What are you guys doing? Trying to come up with a bit for Leno.
Something that doesn’t involve a costume.
– Does he play an instrument? – That’s not a bad idea.
He could jam with the band.
Congressman, do you play a musical instrument? Clarinet.
Yeah, that’s not gonna work.
– Don’t get into it with the Vinick masks.
– Thanks.
I’ve been holding for the vice president for half an hour.
Can you please? Sir, you need to Hi.
Yeah, this is Matthew Santos.
Could you possibly? Turn on CNN.
I’ll wave.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, I appreciate your support.
Now, do you think you can possibly find the vice president? Thank you.
Oh, no.
I’m gonna wait.
Happy Halloween.
Sorry to drag you away from your kids.
Well, as long as you’re willing to explain it to my wife.
You did drag me down here for a reason? You’re a pretty ambitious guy, huh? What are you, 38, 39? Peter Blake, U.
S.
Attorney for the District of Columbia.
What’s next? Congress? The Senate? A seat on the federal bench? What happens when you sit down with the DNC chair in two years? – You’re kidding.
A congressional race you wanna throw your hat in.
I’m wondering what Mr.
Chairman’s thinking about.
– You’re here to lecture me.
– Your Rhodes scholarship? – Your performance on law review? – I’m going to the grand jury.
No, you’re not.
You’re not gonna do this.
It’s wrong and it’s irresponsible.
Irresponsible? How about chief of staff of the United States sharing classified information with an unauthorized individual – That’s not what happened.
– A deposition from Babish says that.
– She asked me a hypothetical question.
– You discussed the existence of a secret military shuttle with Cregg.
You didn’t have clearance, she did.
Now, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened.
Tell me I didn’t leave a crying 6-year-old in a Dorothy costume for this.
– Keep them trick-or-treating.
– Hold the Houston crowd.
– Half-hour, tops.
– Hour and a half? – Yes, both kids.
– He was mayor.
We need more than a homemade banner.
You know, Advance promised us Sure.
It’s 8:00.
– I’ll call you back.
– Call you back? Thank you.
Five days out and I’m wasting time with Bob Russell.
Is he onboard? He gives me a song and dance about the other candidates he’s stumping for.
– He said no? – Oh, he didn’t say no.
He can’t say no.
So we’re gonna need surrogates to take his place in Ohio.
Say, am I gonna get any time with McNally before this day is over? – Soon as we get back on the bus.
– Oh, yeah? And then what? I get the 15 minutes between here and the airport to figure out the impact of Kazakhstan on our long-term foreign-policy approach? – More or less.
– Get me Edie, please.
Try to make it look like you’re enjoying your time with the children.
– Hey.
– Sweetheart.
Sorry I’m late.
How are the spoils? Whoa, that’s a lot of candy there.
– My stomach hurts.
– Okay.
Let me carry that.
– Can we go now? – Just one more house, honey.
Okay? Come on.
Here we go.
What, did you guys raid the candy store? Between the press and the 63 houses we’ve been at I’m sorry.
Who thought ice cream was a good idea? Well, you know, it’s been a bit of a day.
– Right here? – I made a factual statement.
– It’s not like I was banging on a drum.
– Helen, come on.
It wasn’t your fault.
Annabeth shouldn’t have left you out there on your own.
– Now that we got that cleared up.
– I said it wasn’t your fault.
If you were concerned about me opening my mouth you shouldn’t have sent me to the damn event.
What do we have here? Oh, my.
This is perfect.
C.
J.
‘s got a problem.
The president’s not doing what she wants him to do.
She does what she’s done before.
She talks to you.
Maybe she thinks you have clearance or knows you don’t.
Maybe she has no idea that you’re gonna leak it.
But you do.
She’s screwed.
It’s your fault, you fall on the grenade.
– It wasn’t C.
J.
– Okay.
What about Leo? It wasn’t Leo.
Toby, there was someone else.
You weren’t authorized to have that information.
All right, I assume we’re done here.
“A citizen’s safety lies in the prosecutor who approaches his task with humility.
” Justice Robert Jackson.
Your position is of such independence and importance that while being diligent, strict and vigorous in law enforcement you can also afford to be just.
It’s my responsibility to find out who helped you.
– That’s my job! – You can indict me.
Can threaten to put me in federal prison for six years.
You can subpoena the president, subpoena Leo McGarry, C.
J.
Cregg.
You can undermine a presidential election and it won’t change anything! I’m still not gonna change my story! – And that’s it? – Yeah, that’s it.
I’ve dedicated my life to this country, to public service.
Regardless of our different interpretations of the role of the prosecutor in our legal system I don’t think derailing a presidential election is part of your job description.
And I don’t think you believe it is either.
Okay, Leno puts on a Vinick mask, steals a bag of Halloween candy.
Then the congressman comes in wearing a police uniform and arrests him.
Not funny at all, huh? Maybe we should go back to the clarinet.
Damn it.
We’re not gonna make it to Houston till 10.
Cancel the rally? You think we could get another shot at the trick-or-treating photo op? – We’re nowhere on Leno.
– Annabeth have any ideas? – Annabeth likes the tights.
– Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
It’s okay, buddy.
We’ll be home in just a few hours.
No, I got him, honey.
Come on.
Come sit.
Can I maybe get some coffee? – Where’s McNally? – Sir? Nancy McNally, NSA.
We were starting to get into the ramifications of long-term troop deployment in Kazakhstan.
– Right, she had an early meeting in D.
C.
– She left? – Nancy McNally left.
– Yes, sir.
– She had a meeting.
– Can we get her on the phone? Sure.
Sir, there’s an issue with The Tonight Show.
– The Tonight Show? – Leno’s got this idea.
It involves a Robin Hood costume.
We’re not that wild about the costume Look, I need to get McNally on the phone.
I’ve got a conference call with Hal Waller at 9.
Think this is the best use of my time? It’s all right.
I canceled the call.
– Excuse me? – The Waller call.
I canceled it.
We’ve already pushed through the foreign-policy section of the stump.
Half-hour conference call on the Mideast We’re gonna wind up with 150,000 men in Kazakhstan.
We’re gonna have to pull at least That is gonna change our entire Mideast peacekeeping timetable.
Which is why Otto and the speechwriting team are working We’re looking at three to four years in Central Asia! That is an entire presidency! Otto and the speechwriting team have barely scratched the surface.
– You want me to? – No.
No, I got it.
We need to start addressing the real issues and stop wasting time on the beauty-pageant ephemera.
You know as well as I do that right now, what you say on Leno and how your family looks are more important than – We need to focus! – We are.
You like Goodwin and McNally? Well, it’s not like I had a lot of time with McNally.
Berryhill had five minutes – Yeah, I do.
– Goodwin? Great.
We got an attorney general and a secretary of state.
That’s not bad for a three-state, six-market day.
Now we’re gonna have this conversation about Leno then you’re gonna talk to Nancy, then make up with your wife so we have a relatively happy couple for the rally in Houston.
Congressman? Yeah.
Good.
– Josh? – Yeah? You think we’re gonna win? I do.

Leave a Reply