The President (Martin Sheen) and his staff scramble to head off a predicted terrorist attack over a broad area while C.J. (Allison Janney) chafes under the protective collar provided by a handsome but capable Secret Service agent (Mark Harmon). Also, Toby (Richard Schiff) plays hardball with network executives over future political convention TV coverage.
THE WEST WING "THE BLACK VERA WANG" WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: CHRISTOPHER MISIANO TEASER FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT The motorcade is pulling up outside the White House. Sam gets out and goes inside. CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Sam walks in. BONNIE Welcome back. SAM We are back. GINGER And it was a success. SAM It was. GINGER Whad'ya bring me? SAM I brought you a collector's plate of a moose racing through the woods. GINGER I love moose. SAM I know how you do. Bonnie? You get a hat with a moose on it. BONNIE You like a good hotel gift shop, don't you? SAM I do. GINGER What do they eat in Helsinki? SAM They eat moose. GINGER You ate a moose? SAM No, I don't like eating things where the cartoon character can talk, and you know, hatch a plan. GINGER Yeah SAM I'm gonna go to bed. I just came back for mail and messages. GINGER Yeah, Crane from UPI needs a call back tonight about Segal for Ways and Means. Mrs. Bartlet would like you to go over her remarks to the IBEW and the Whip's office called about one-minutes on the floor tomorrow. SAM [holding up an envelope] What's this? GINGER I don't know. It's marked "personal." SAM You don't know who sent it? GINGER There's no return address. SAM Think it's porn? GINGER I don't know. SAM Cause I'm pretty tired, but if it's porn, I mean, really good porn... By the way, if my innocent joking's making you uncomfortable in any way... GINGER No, I'm hoping it's porn. CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT C.J. and Simon walk inside. C.J. NO! You understand? I'm driving myself home. You want to follow me in a chase car, that's fine. But you have been annoying me for six days. You annoyed me here for three days then you annoyed me in Finland. You're quiet, you're polite, and you're, you're there. You're always there, I can't shake you. You followed me to Scandinavia and back. SIMON Well, that's- C.J. Don't give me the "aw shucks" answer, "Well that's my job, ma'am." And don't call me "ma'am," don't call me "ma'am," don't call me "Ms. Cregg." This isn't a western. SIMON I'm required to call you "ma'am" or "Ms. Cregg." There are rules and regulations. C.J. Okay, okay, secret agent man, here's my rules and regulations. I'm getting in my baby blue '65 Mustang convertible and I'm gonna feel the wind in my hair and any place else I want. You can look at my taillights. SIMON I think I'm not allowed to do that either. C.J. I will see you at home! SIMON Okay. C.J. leaves, but Simon just stands there. C.J. turns around and goes back inside. C.J. There's no way you're letting me walk out the door, so what is it we're doing? SIMON I'm sorry? C.J. What's your plan for me? SIMON I don't have a plan. C.J. Are you gonna let me drive myself home? SIMON No. [holding up something] I've got your spark plug. Is that what you meant? C.J. You've got my spark plug? SIMON And your battery. Fuel pump, starter relay, timing belt, the ignition fuse. And well also the engine, I guess. C.J. Did you leave me anything? SIMON Wiper fluid. You can clean your windshield. No, actually, you need the battery. C.J. Yeah. Sam appears in front of C.J.'s office. SAM C.J., listen... C.J. Yeah? SAM [holding up a video] This just came in the mail. It's an opposition spot. C.J. What are you talking about? Sam walks into her office and plays the tape. At first, we see a blank screen. VOICEOVER Honor, morality, truth. Values we deserve in America's house. A picture of a piece of paper rips in half, showing Bartlet's face. VOICEOVER Throwing mud to cover up his failure, refusing to sign a clean campaign pledge so he won't have to defend his broken promises. Jed Bartlet - what's he hiding now? C.J. Who sent you this? SAM That's the thing. C.J. What? SAM I don't know. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Donna is walking through the hallway. Josh catches up with her. JOSH Good morning. DONNA My man! JOSH Yes. DONNA You came back to me. JOSH Just like I promised. DONNA I missed you. JOSH When did you find you missed me the most? DONNA The nights. JOSH Of course. DONNA Did you bring me anything? JOSH I did. DONNA Where is it? JOSH It should be in my office. Donna sees a big crate sitting in JOSH'S OFFICE. DONNA Wow! JOSH Open it. DONNA I'm just happy it's not moose. What is it? JOSH Moose. It's sauna-soaked moose meat. Nicely packaged in a burnt pine box. The hinges are made from hand-woven Lapland ribbons. DONNA I missed you so much. JOSH Where am I supposed to be right now? DONNA The basement, office C. Josh leaves. Donna looks confused, staring at the box. She turns around and leaves. CUT TO: INT. BASEMENT ROOM - DAY The senior staff is watching the opposition ad. VOICEOVER Throwing mud to cover up his failure, refusing to sign a clean campaign pledge so he won't have to defend his broken promises. Jed Bartlet - what's he hiding from us now? C.J. No "paid for by" tagline. TOBY We've looked at it three times now. BRUNO If I wanted to sink the Bartlet campaign, this is exactly the ad I'd run. TOBY In May? BRUNO No. But I would show it to the other side to let them know what happens if they hit me first. Every campaign has one in the drawer. C.J. We didn't. GUYS Yes, we did. BRUNO Honor, truth, morality - it's an ad about MS. TOBY Do we make up a counter or do we keep it in a drawer? BRUNO I'll take care of it. SAM That's fine, but what about- BRUNO [to Josh, who just walked in] Did you see this? JOSH I saw it last night. I'm gonna talk to Counsel's office. BRUNO You think it goes to the FBI? JOSH If this was stolen I don't want Sam to end up like the girlfriend of an indicted Senator. C.J. Do you have any reason to believe it was stolen? SAM No. C.J. How can he be an accomplice to a crime he had no reason to believe occurred? JOSH You wanna find out? C.J. No. SAM We shouldn't go to the FBI yet. TOBY More than likely it's multi-jurisdictional, the thing probably crossed state lines. SAM No, I'm saying we shouldn't go into law enforcement. It's gonna seem like we're trying to suck the FBI into investigating Ritchie, and the FBI works for us. C.J. He's got a point. SAM Plus we're all tainted. BRUNO Just stick it in a drawer and forget it. SAM No. JOSH What are you suggesting? SAM I sit down with Kevin Kahn. JOSH No. TOBY No. SAM Bruno? BRUNO I'm sorry? SAM What do you think I sit down with Kevin Kahn? BRUNO Oh. No. C.J. Sam... SAM He's a friend of mine. BRUNO I don't care if he did your bris. I don't trust Kevin Kahn and I don't know what this is yet. SAM What is the danger? What is the danger, where is the danger in my sitting down with Kevin and saying someone sent this to us? If it's you, we've got our own in a drawer. If it's someone, you've got a mole and we don't want anything to do with it. How do we lose, in court, in public, in the voting booth? BRUNO There are only two things here. Either someone's trying to hurt us, or somebody's trying to help us. Just so you know. SAM Would you talk to Leo? BRUNO Yeah. TOBY I have a meeting. BRUNO Apologize for the skyboxes. TOBY They weren't that bad. BRUNO I was there. [to C.J.] How was Helsinki? C.J. Good. Good. I accidentally ate a moose. BRUNO [staring at her for a second] Let me look at this again, okay? CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Toby walks down a hallway then into the Roosevelt Room where media directors are waiting. TOBY Morning. MEDIA DIRECTORS Good morning. TOBY Listen, I've got an idea for a new kind of awards show, you should tell your entertainment divisions about this. At the moment the winner's name is called the four nominees who didn't win drop through a trap door right under their seats. Am I crazy, or is that not pretty good television? They all chuckle. MAN Speaking of good television... TOBY Yes, I've been asked by Bruno Gianelli to apologize for the skyboxes in Miami. We'll do better at the Garden. MAN Well what about spinners? Last time you were all staffing the president and there was no one to speak to during the big speeches. TOBY We've got a better surrogate program this time. Governors, some of the big mayors, some of us will be available to you, and some of us still have to staff the president. WOMAN We directly come to you if we need more floor passes? TOBY Absolutely. MAN We really should be talking about programming. TOBY We have to? MAN Yes. TOBY And we have to call it programming? MAN Call it what you like, we call it programming. TOBY The panels were a little dry last time. MAN Two panels on deficit reduction. TOBY Monday night we've got real people. The president's met across the country reading planks from the platform. Scott O'Leary's doing the keynote. The Harlem Boys' Choir is singing the National Anthem. Tuesday is Mrs. Bartlet and Rev. Lydell. We've got a panel with women senators on biomedical research, breast cancer breakthroughs, medical privacy issues... Look, uh, a Dean Martin roast it ain't, but... MAN We're thinking about cutting back on our coverage. TOBY You only covered two hours a night last time. How much more can you...? MAN We're talking about an hour. TOBY [laughing] You can't do an hour a night, that's just... MAN See you don't understand. We're talking about an hour for each convention. We cover the acceptance speeches, that's it. TOBY One of these times you guys are going to come in here and say that and it's going to be true. The media directors look at him seriously. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Leo and the President are walking down the hallway. LEO How long is it? BARTLET Four or five hours, maybe, you'll be fine. LEO They do all the Henrys? BARTLET They take all the Henrys. They do a thing, they call it War of the Roses. I'm told by those who saw it in London it's spectacular. Catholic charities bought out a Broadway theater. We're gonna go, we're gonna make some money. LEO Everything was fine except the part where we go. BARTLET You know why? Cause the Royal National Company's got all the King Henrys up there and I'm still number one at the box office. LEO I love my job when you're like this.They have walked to the door of the Situation Room. BARTLET Let me as you something, which Plantagenet do I most remind you of? LEO You want to, please? He motions to walk into THE SITUATION ROOM. BARTLET Good morning. JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF Good morning, sir. FITZWALLACE Mr. President, we have reason to believe there will be an attack on a US military installation sometime in the next 48 hours. We have a credible threat. BARTLET We just got done with Helsinki and the reactor. FITZWALLACE Yes, sir BARTLET How do we know? FITZWALLACE The NSA's been monitoring web sites of the Bahji cell operating out of Syria. They've been looking for pictures codes and they intercepted cellular calls. MAN Sir, that tracks with what our advisors in Kazakhstan gave us earlier this morning. And the Russians are holding a prisoner in Chechnya who verified it will be military. LEO Which are the most vulnerable? MAN The Navy's fifth fleet in Bahrain, Jaber Air Base, Kuwait, Prince Sultan Air Base, Incirlik, Seeb North Air Base. BARTLET General? GENERAL I'd like to order Force Protection Delta for all bases. Keep nonessentials off and limit troop movement. And Admiral? ADMIRAL Yeah, sir, I'd like all carriers and destroyers into harbor, where we can give them water security. BARTLET So order it. I don't care if we know anything new or not, I need updates every half hour for the next 48 hours. JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF Yes sir. Bartlet rises to leave and they all stand. JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF Thank you, Mr. President. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Toby is still with the media directors. TOBY Look this is obviously a--do not eat the fruit--this is obviously a, a negotiating position for you, so what is it you need? You want us to vote a member of the Rules Committee out of the convention every night or something? The secretary should eat a jellyfish? MAN You know what sir, don't talk to me like I'm other people. The four of us are news directors and there isn't a day that one of us isn't begging the person we work for to let us for the love of Jesus Christ do the news. Is the Republican nominee Rob Ritchie? Yes. Is his running mate Jeff Hesten? Yes. And that question, as impossible as it may be to believe becomes even less suspenseful when talking about the Democratic ticket. And will there be anything of any force or consequence in the platform? No. Will there be a floor fight over it? What does it matter? And you're getting huffed because the four of us are questioning the wisdom of presenting a four-day infomercial, in primetime, under network news, simulcast? We'll show the acceptance speeches. And the balloons. The balloons aren't news but it's nice television. CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY TUESDAY C.J. enters reading a newspaper, followed by Jamie, the off-going Secret Service agent. Simon is standing by the doorway to Carol's office. C.J. Morning. SIMON Morning. [into a phone] This is Donovan, 7:02, I've got Flamingo. C.J. That code name's not going anywhere is it? SIMON Thank you Jamie. Sleep well. JAMIE Thank you. [leaves] C.J. I'm going shopping at lunch. SIMON Sure. Where you going? C.J. Does it matter? SIMON I like to let the manager know I'll be carrying a gun. C.J. I'm taking my niece Hogan shopping for a dress for her Junior Prom. SIMON Okay. C.J. You're not gonna say that Hogan's a strange name for a girl? SIMON For a boy too I guess. C.J. My older brothers are golf crazies. SIMON Okay. Well, it's our first time out, this is exciting. We're not under the umbrella of the president's protection so there's a couple things I wanna tell you. In a populated place, a department store, I always walk ahead of you. I don't like more than five feet between us so if you ditch me cause my back is to you, that would be too much. Also it would give me no choice but to surround you with department store security before you made it to Men's Accessories. You're a very recognizable woman, if you're surrounded by security, frankly, people are gonna point and stare. C.J. Anything else, Agent Sunshine? SIMON It's Special Agent Sunshine, but that couldn't matter less. At the risk of being ungentlemanly I can't carry bags, my hands always have to be free. C.J. Plus you're not my valet. SIMON Yeah but I'm still growing and I got my eyes on the prize. C.J. Bernie's on Connecticut at 12:30. SIMON I'm optimistic. The stats of people being hurt while buying a prom dress are very encouraging. C.J. It's a Junior Prom. SIMON Then you're fine. C.J. Okay. SIMON I'll be around. [leaves] CAROL Good morning. C.J. Hey. CAROL Can I tell you about some early wires? There's a buzz in the UAW that there's gonna be... C.J. That was I strange thing I just did. I was telling him that I was taking Hogan shopping for a Junior Prom dress, a few moments later he referred to the Prom and I made a point of correcting him. Why would I do that, I felt so unnatural while I was saying it. CAROL You were uncomfortable with the image he had in his head of someone who was old enough to be the aunt of someone going to the prom and you didn't wanna be charged for the extra year. C.J. [reflects] I'd say that was ridiculous but I also referred to my older brothers. CAROL Yeah. C.J. Yeah but isn't that the kind of thing you do when you meet a guy and you're... Carol smiles. C.J. Never mind, it was obviously some kind of left-brain hip check, I'll take care of it. CAROL Okay. The United Auto Workers. C.J. Yes, talk to me about them. CUT TO: INT. LOBBY - DAY Josh enters and walks toward the door to his BULLPEN AREA. MARTHA Josh! JOSH Hey Martha. MARTHA I'm sorry to bother you; I know you have like a million other things to do. JOSH It's no problem. MARTHA We have a record of your receiving a gift from the Finish office of protocol, some sonacured meat. JOSH Moose meat. MARTHA Yeah, it showed up on E-Bay. JOSH What're you talking about? MARTHA Well you know that's a no-no right? JOSH I- yeah, I gave it to- [pause] MARTHA Who? JOSH Nobody. Sorry, Martha, I'll, I'll take care of it. MARTHA Thank you. You can get back to your real job. CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - DAY Margaret and Donna are presiding over a meeting of White House assistants. MARGARET The Washington Times tomorrow is printing their annual list of assistant salaries. MALE ASSISTANT Where do they get the information? DONNA The White House has to submit it to a postal and treasury subcommittee and it traditionally gets leaked by the opposition party. MARGARET And a lot of us were thinking that instead of giving the press a reason to write a story we'd hold off on the bitching about how little we're paid for like a month so that we can deal with it the way it should be dealt with, which is with our bosses. Everyone claps. DONNA Okay, so no matter what it says tomorrow, it's a privilege to serve our country. Try not to everybody use those exact words. FEMALE ASSISTANT I wasn't here last year, the press really cares what the assistants have to say? DONNA We're not assistants in this kind of story we're White House staffers or prominent Democrats with close ties to the President. FEMALE ASSISTANT Got it. MARGARET Thank you. DONNA Thanks. She begins walking toward the door where Josh is standing. They both walk. JOSH Jojo. DONNA Good morning. JOSH Did you try the moose meat? DONNA I didn't and I'll tell you why. I'm saving it for a special occasion. JOSH It's up to $180 on E-bay. DONNA E-bay? Huh. Look... JOSH I... I... I don't understand; I don't need to tell you that you can't sell... DONNA I gave it to an intern. JOSH You did? DONNA I'm sorry, I appreciated you giving it to me, but if I'm gonna eat moose meat there's gonna have to be some kind of a prize at the end of it. JOSH Who's the intern? DONNA Well, how bout if I'd rather not say? JOSH Donna. DONNA Come on, I'll take care of it. JOSH Fire the intern. He walks through the LOBBY toward his office. Donna remains frozen at the doors as Sam walks through reading his newspaper. SAM Hey. DONNA Hey. We follow Sam back to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. GINGER You want phone messages? SAM Yeah. GINGER Daniel Harris, the deputy whip's office, Kevin Kahn, your father... SAM Kevin? GINGER Yeah. SAM He just called? GINGER Yeah. SAM Get him back. GINGER I have Sam Seaborn returning for Mr. Kahn. [to Sam] Line 4. Sam enters his office, closes the door and picks up the phone. SAM Kevin. KAHN How you doing, Sam? SAM Fine. KAHN I hadn't talked to you in about a month I wanted to check in. SAM You're just calling? KAHN Yeah I wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch or something. SAM You couldn't have called at a better time. One o'clock at Old Ebbitts? KAHN Make it Charlie's at one. SAM Ginger? GINGER Yeah? SAM I have a lunch. CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY Leo is walking inside. He sees Fitzwallace at the end of the room standing before a CG map of the US. FITZWALLACE We're expanding the potential target list. LEO To include what? Fitzwallace indicates the map on the wall. LEO Holy Hell. FITZWALLACE Dover Air Force Base and Fort Myer. LEO How could they possibly have the capability to strike a US base? MAN We're not sure, but we've processed calls through a VR program. They identified Mohammad Sabeh, a Bahji Cell leader. PHIL Leo, he doesn't have a history of empty rhetoric. LEO What would they be striking with? FITZWALLACE The calls refer to weaponry that was smuggled in. We don't know what kind, or what level of force. LEO Why would they pick those two? There are a couple dozen bases on the seaboard that are bigger than Dover and Fort Myer, why not in the Carolinas? FITZWALLACE That has us concerned. The only thing those two bases have in common is their proximity to another military headquarters. "The White House" appears on the map on the wall. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Charlie and the President are walking through from the patio to THE OVAL OFFICE. BARTLET It's Henry V, three Henry VI, and Henry VIII. CHARLIE You understand this is nontraditional Shakespeare. BARTLET What does that mean? It sounds modern. CHARLIE The director uses music and song and other theatrical devices along the way. BARTLET Well, that doesn't sound bad. CHARLIE No. BARTLET Let me ask you something. CHARLIE Yes. BARTLET If Shakespeare wrote a play about me, how many parts do you think it would be? Charlie stares dubiously as Bartlet signs papers on the desk. Leo enters from his office. LEO Sir. BARTLET Think about it. CHARLIE Yes sir. [exits] LEO NSA has new cellular intercepts. The list of possible targets now includes Dover in Delaware and Fort Myer in Maryland. And they're close to putting the White House on the list. BARTLET What are we doing? LEO Combat Air Patrols over DC and we've vectored aircraft away from the district. Mr. President? I want you to start getting yourself into a mental place where you can order an unidentified plane shot down. We're sealing a one-mile perimeter. Fitz is about to call you and ask you to put the Coast Guard on alert for the Atlantic. BARTLET We're leaning on Arab Intelligence sources? LEO They're not what they used to be. BARTLET We're leaning on them? LEO Yes sir. We have to talk about the bunker. BARTLET I'm not going to the bunker. LEO Sir... BARTLET I'm not going to the bunker. It sends a terrible sign. I'm sitting in this room. LEO Ron and I have been through this. BARTLET You haven't been through it with me. LEO I'm trying to tell you if the time comes they're not going to give you a choice. BARTLET You're telling me that the Secret Service, you're telling me my own bodyguards are gonna escort me to the bunker? LEO Your feet may touch the ground a couple of times along the way but I doubt it. Bartlet sits pondering. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. BARNEY'S - DAY Simon stands guard in the ladies department in Barney's. C.J. and her niece, HOGAN, are searching for gowns. C.J. I know you said you didn't want taffeta, but what do you think? HOGAN I think it's great except for the taffeta. Do you like this? C.J. It's a little pink. HOGAN Aunt C.J., stop looking at the Vera Wang's. C.J. Why? HOGAN 'Cause they cost almost a months salary. C.J. But I'm the cool aunt, this is what I do. Look at this. [holds out a gown] Good gracious. Black silk couture gown. HOGAN I'd have to be five eleven to look good in that. C.J. As luck would have it that's my height exactly. HOGAN [laughing] Go ahead. C.J. Thank you. I'm just going to take this one too. [grabs another gown] Simon follows C.J. towards the dressing rooms. Simon stops outside when C.J. goes in. HOGAN What is it that you look for exactly? SIMON You know it when you see it. HOGAN What do you mean? Simon leads Hogan to a more open area. SIMON Look this way. Now look this way. Now look this way. Now look this way. Now look at me. What did you see? HOGAN Uh... over here there was a mother with two kids. Over here there was a man in a coat, and I can't remember what else. And over here was the check out counter and there were some people over there and I can't remember what else. SIMON Anything bother you? HOGAN No. SIMON What about the guy in the coat? HOGAN What about him? SIMON It's May. Why is he wearing a coat? HOGAN I don't know. SIMON I don't know either. But until one of us leaves this store I'm always going to know where he is. HOGAN So you're always looking. SIMON Yeah. We're actually not supposed to talk that much. HOGAN Sorry. They separate. Simon wanders back to the dressing rooms where we can see parts of C.J. as she changes into the gown. HOGAN So what would it take for you to brandish your weapon? SIMON What? I mean, excuse me? HOGAN What would it take right now for you to just reach in and brandish your weapon? SIMON It would have to be something pretty extraordinary. HOGAN How long have you been with the Secret Service? SIMON Well, I went to college basically on an army scholarship which means that after you get out you have to serve a certain number of years. Then I was with the Chicago Police Department for a few years and I've been with the Secret Service for the last nine. HOGAN Have you ever brandished your weapon? SIMON Yes. HOGAN Have you ever fired it? SIMON Yes. Hogan looks puzzled. SIMON What? HOGAN I'm just trying to think of when in the last nine years an agent would have had to fire his gun, unless you... You were at Rosslyn. [beat] Well, you're a good guy. Hogan tries to pat him on the shoulder. He recoils. HOGAN I'm sorry am I not allowed to touch you? SIMON No, it's okay. C.J. comes out of the dressing room in a full-length black gown. HOGAN Aunt C.J., you're not going to believe this... C.J. What? SIMON Hogan, were going to tell her another time, okay? HOGAN Okay. C.J. Is Simon bothering you? HOGAN No. C.J. If he is, if he ever does, I want you to shriek at the top of your lungs, okay? HOGAN Okay. C.J. twirls around in her dress, as we... CUT TO: INT. OUTSIDE LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Bruno walks to Leo's reception area BRUNO Hey, Stacey. MARGARET Margaret. BRUNO I thought Margaret was the girl who worked here before. MARGARET I'm the girl who worked here before. I'm Margaret. BRUNO You changed your hair. MARGARET No. LEO Come on in. Leo enters his office. Bruno hands Margaret a small box. BRUNO Someone asked me to give this to you. He goes inside LEO'S OFFICE. BRUNO The CEQ is waiting for me down the hall. Two precinct captains from Iowa want jobs in Commerce. LEO What do you think? BRUNO I don't care but Andrew Jackson said if there's a job that can't be done by a Democrat let's abolish the job. LEO Okay. BRUNO C.J. says that AP asked for his transcript and he said no. Why? LEO He took a semester of tap. BRUNO Seriously. LEO I don't know. I'll ask him. BRUNO Thanks. And, uh, about the Iowa thing... LEO You may not get an answer today, okay? I don't want to give him too much knucklehead stuff. BRUNO Every time you say something like that, I buy canned goods. LEO What's with this tape? BRUNO You don't want to see it on television. LEO What? BRUNO I said you don't want to see it on TV. See you later. Bruno walks balk outside. MARGARET [softly] Mr. Gianelli... BRUNO [smiling] You can call me Bruno. Margaret places the box on her desk. Inside we see a gold necklace with Margaret's name on it. CUT TO: INT. RESTAURANT - DAY Sam and KEVIN KAHN are having lunch. KAHN You sounded funny on the phone. SAM No, I was just surprised you called. KAHN Why? SAM I don't know. KAHN What do you think of the two of us having lunch or coffee once a month? We can be emissaries. We can maybe help keep things under control if it gets bad. SAM I think it's a good idea. KAHN What do you think about having your candidate to sign the Clean Campaign pledge? SAM My candidate's the President. KAHN Yes he is. I apologize. When was the last time we saw a genuine dialogue? SAM McKinley vs. Brian. KAHN So what if instead of the Cross of Gold speech- SAM I'm sorry about the thing. KAHN What thing? SAM The open mike. KAHN I'm not talking about that. SAM I think you are. KAHN Sam, it was not that big a deal. Most of us laughed about it. SAM Really? KAHN Yeah. SAM Look, something's happened, and I want to tell you about it. KAHN What? SAM Somebody made an attack ad and sent me a copy. KAHN Which one's getting attacked? SAM The President. KAHN They sent it to you? SAM Yeah. KAHN This is "Morality, Truth,..." SAM [passing the tape to Kahn] Yeah. KAHN We've seen it. SAM You've got a mole. We don't need it, we don't want it. KAHN Thank you. I'll get to the bottom of this. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY WEDNESDAY Josh is in his office reading and making notes on a legal pad. Donna enters. DONNA Hello. JOSH Hello. DONNA It's wrong of you to make me fire the intern. JOSH I'll fire him. DONNA No. JOSH Why. DONNA First of all it was moose sausage not the prints to Los Alamos. JOSH And this is the White House not Williams-Sonoma. DONNA He's an intern, he makes nothing and he has to pay rent. JOSH He can't do it this way. DONNA And I'll make that clear to him but he shouldn't be fired. And you know why? 'Cause 20 years ago 75% of the people who graduated from the Kennedy School of Government took jobs in public service. Last year it was a third. We need these people. JOSH All right. DONNA When Martha... was it Martha? JOSH Yes. DONNA When Martha came to you and thought it was me you wouldn't give her my name right? JOSH Yes. DONNA So let me just... JOSH I said all right like five minutes ago. DONNA I was just underlining my point. JOSH Nicely done. DONNA Okay, I'm through. JOSH Excellent. CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Toby is having a discussion with Bruno. BRUNO We could guarantee them a floor fight. TOBY Really? BRUNO A good one. TOBY For four nights? BRUNO Whatever. TOBY Okay. BRUNO You got a better idea? TOBY How about corporate sponsorship? BRUNO You think? TOBY Why are people footing the bill for this anyway? BRUNO The Nabisco Democratic National Convention? TOBY It's better than four nights of professional wrestling. BRUNO How much better? TOBY I don't know. BRUNO I wouldn't mind hitting some of the people. I can make it look real. TOBY This is ridiculous. BRUNO I'm telling you, they are not really... TOBY I was in the room. BRUNO They are not serious. TOBY I was in the room. BRUNO Any talks, and he wants to get these things off his chest, but in the end if we had Tiny Tim and Miss What's-her-name doing the roll call they would cover it like that. So, let's give them a little bit of-- TOBY There's-- BRUNO A little bit of what they want. TOBY Like what? BRUNO Me? I like animals that can do math. TOBY You want to help? BRUNO I'm not that worried. TOBY [yelling at the end] I was in the room. BRUNO And I don't think it's possible that these four people got together and decided anything. TOBY Wait a second. How is it possible that these four people got together and decided something? I mean how is it possible that they got together and agreed? BRUNO The penny drops. TOBY Bonnie? BRUNO I still think it was about the skyboxes. Bonnie enters. BONNIE Yeah? TOBY Get me David Wolczek at the Justice Department. CUT TO: INT. PORTICO - THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet walks along the portico to his office, where Leo, Fitzwallace and military advisors are waiting. BARTLET Yeah. LEO The FBI says a Bahji communication was traced to Khaled Madani. Which is one of 11 AKA's used by Abdul Al-Yossi. BARTLET This doesn't mean anything to me. ADVISOR 1 INS says that Khaled Madani is still in this country on an expired visa. BARTLET Where? LEO Bethesda. ADVISOR 1 About a half hour ago agents raided a duplex rented under his name. There was no one there but they found drawings and digital tape of the National Archives and Supreme Court building. FITZWALLACE These were detailed drawings with exterior air vents and detailed notations about the number of guards posted. BARTLET Are we able to take a guess at where and when now? FITZWALLACE No sir. BARTLET [sighs] What about Abdul Shareef? Isn't Shareef supposed to be helping us with intelligence out of Qumar? ADVISOR 1 He's not. LEO We should put the President on Marine One. FITZWALLACE It's not my call but I don't think we should. They've doubled the counter assault on the surrounding buildings. If it's me, I say the President's grounded until we know where Madani is. BARTLET Thank you. FITZWALLACE Thank you, Mr. President. Fitzwallace and the military advisors exit, leaving Leo alone with Bartlet. BARTLET I'm not going to the bunker. There are going to be people who aren't going to the bunker, and when I get out I'm not going to be able to tell them what to do anymore and I like doing that. Let's get Abby to New Hampshire but I'm not going to the bunker. And if you say I have to I'm walking across the alley with the Chief Justice and I'm handing John Hoynes my resignation. And as soon as he's sworn in I'm telling him to appoint me his Vice President because I'm not going to the bunker. If the agent's come, the agents come but tell Ron he'd better bring more than a couple of guys. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - DAY Donna walks through. DONNA Bruce? BRUCE Hey Donna. Donna makes a 'come here' signal. BRUCE, the intern follow her to a more private corner. DONNA You put that thing on eBay? BRUCE Yeah, someone bought it. DONNA I can't believe you did that. BRUCE What? DONNA You put something from the White House on eBay. Do you know how embarrassing that is? BRUCE For who? DONNA For me, for Josh, for the President. For everybody who works here. For you. BRUCE I don't work here. Or more accurately, I don't get paid to work here. DONNA I don't care. BRUCE My landlord does. I file, copy, deliver, get coffee, get pizza, and I do it for free. DONNA That's exactly what you signed up for. In fact you had to jump through fourteen hoops to get the gig. Did anybody lie to you? BRUCE That doesn't matter. DONNA That's all that matters. You're like a college athlete justifying... [sighs] This is what you signed up for. Now you're not going to be fired but you are going to be transferred out of the west wing and you're going to have to give me $210. BRUCE Why? DONNA Because I'm the one who got the thing off eBay. BRUCE It's covering a check I wrote already. DONNA I'm out $210 for free moose meat I didn't want in the first place? BRUCE Sorry. DONNA [sighs] Go back to work. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY Bruno walks in to talk to C.J. BRUNO What? C.J. This. Sam's encouraging the President to sign the Clean Campaign pledge. BRUNO What the hell? C.J. And they talk about the tape. BRUNO Is this all of them? C.J. Yeah. BRUNO Excuse me. An angry Bruno walks off. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Toby walks back in to the meeting with the media directors. MEDIA DIRECTOR 1 We understand you have a counter offer. TOBY Yeah. You broadcast all four nights of the convention. MEDIA DIRECTOR 2 Why? TOBY 'Cause the public owns the airwaves not you, and you have a legal obligation to the public. MEDIA DIRECTOR 3 The public could care less about the nominating conventions. So why? TOBY You have an FCC public obligation. MEDIA DIRECTOR 3 Show me a station that's lost its licence for not showing enough public interest programming. TOBY I can't. MEDIA DIRECTOR 3 So why? TOBY 'Cause if you don't the Justice Department is going to investigate you for anti-trust violation. MEDIA DIRECTOR 4 Anti-trust violation? TOBY A joint decision not to compete for the best convention programming. MEDIA DIRECTOR 2 You're accusing us of conspiring not to show money losing programming? TOBY Not me so much as the Justice Department. 15 U.S.C. section 1. "Every contract combination or conspiracy in restraint of trade or commerce is declared to be illegal. Every person who shall engage in any combination..." MEDIA DIRECTOR 3 All right, we get it. We all have lawyers that we'll have to talk to. TOBY Yes, no. There isn't going to be a horse race to cover, either in New York or San Diego, but we gave you the air waves for free 70 years ago and 357 days a year you can say who's up and who's down, who won the West and who lost the South but what's wrong with 8 days, not every year but every 4 years, showing our leaders talking to us. Not a fraction of what they said but what they said. And then th-the balloons. MEDIA DIRECTOR 3 Like I said. TOBY You have to talk to the lawyers. MEDIA DIRECTOR 3 Yes. TOBY Talk to the lawyers. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - DAY Bruno enters. BRUNO What'd I tell you? SAM About what? BRUNO About not meeting with Kevin Kahn. SAM He called me. It was out of the blue. BRUNO It was? SAM We're good friends, he wanted to keep things civil. BRUNO He leaked it to the press. SAM What? BRUNO Your lunch. SAM You're wrong. BRUNO He leaked it to the press. He's got you in favour of the pledge and you gave him the tape. SAM I didn't... BRUNO This is three, four-I don't know a dozen news cycles--where we're playing politics and losing. Let me be clear the pledge is their idea. Any move we make on it we lose, any move they make they win. SAM I agree this is bad... and I take full responsibility. BRUNO This isn't bad Sam. Let me show you bad. Bruno walks out to the BULLPEN. Sam follows. All the televisions are tuned to different stations. NEWSCASTER 1 ...his failure refusing to sign a Clean Campaign pledge so he won't have to defend his broken promises. NEWSCASTER 2 ...it was for internal use only. The Ritchie campaign reports that it did not have any involvement in the production of the ad and it has no idea how the Bartlet camp might have obtained it. The ad, alluding to President Bartlet's... The voices of several newscasters begin to overlap. SAM Oh, God. BRUNO It's on free media... everywhere, all day, all night, for free. You got played, Sam, and you forgot that all warfare is based on deception. One of these times, you guys are going to listen. Or you're going to find out what the crappy end of Inauguration Day feels like. CUT TO: EXT. DUPONT TOWERS - NIGHT THURSDAY Sam sitting in his car in the rain. He sees Kahn come out of the Dupont Towers. Sam gets out of his car into the pouring rain. SAM I can't believe you did that. [shoves him] I can't believe you did that! KAHN Go to hell. SAM What happened to...? KAHN What happened with the open mic? SAM It was a mistake! KAHN Crap. SAM You said you laughed! KAHN You think I laughed? SAM You said... KAHN You think I laughed?!! SAM So that's what this is about? The open... that's what this is about! KAHN That was my candidate you made a punch line out of. Is it going to happen again? I think it will. SAM Yeah? KAHN Yeah. SAM I think it will too. Kevin Kahn walks away. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Bartlet sits at his desk. Charlie enters. CHARLIE Sir? BARTLET You can send him in. Fitzwallace and Leo enter. Charlie exits. LEO They arrested him. BARTLET Oakland, California. FITZWALLACE The Coast Guard boarded and seized a 50 foot boat about 200 yards off the port of Oakland. BARTLET What did they find on board? FITZWALLACE 5000 keys of ammonium nitrate and a gallon of diesel fuel. BARTLET What was the target? LEO Fort Point. BARTLET That wasn't on the list. FITZWALLACE Well, it's military, which is consistent, but decommissioned which wasn't. It's not a very valuable asset. BARTLET So why'd they want it. LEO Because of what's above it. BARTLET The Golden Gate Bridge. FITZWALLACE The fort fronts the anchorage and the tie downs of the suspension cables. BARTLET This was on the west coast and we didn't know anything. LEO We knew enough. BARTLET I'm going to ask this again. Where the hell was Shareef? FITZWALLACE We're not entirely ready to answer that sir. BARTLET What do you mean? FITZWALLACE Well, you know we've been getting a great deal of help from the Russians since Helsinki. BARTLET Yeah. FITZWALLACE And that they've continued to interrogate the Chechnyan who gave us a target alert in the first place. BARTLET Yeah. FITZWALLACE The prisoner says he worked with a Bahji operative in Grozny who reported... BARTLET To who ? FITZWALLACE Abdul Shareef. BARTLET Are you telling me the Qumari defence minister may have ordered an attack on the Golden Gate Bridge? FITZWALLACE We're not ready to say. BARTLET We have a diplomatic relationship with this country. FITZWALLACE Yes sir. BARTLET He's coming here. Shareef is coming here, in like, ten days, isn't he? FITZWALLACE Yes sir. BARTLET Get ready to say. FITZWALLACE Yes sir. BARTLET Thank you. FITZWALLACE Thank you, Mr. President. Admiral Fitzwallace exits. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT C.J. and Simon are walking towards her office. Jamie waits by the door. JAMIE [into the phone] This is Dawson, 8:09. I've got Flamingo. C.J. Hey Jamie. Could you give us just a second? JAMIE Yes ma'am. C.J. [to Simon] Come here. They walk into her office. C.J. What were you and Hogan talking about that you would tell me later? SIMON I was on Eagle's protection detail in Rosslyn. C.J. Oh. I didn't know that. SIMON No, it's just... C.J. Thank you. SIMON I'm sorry? C.J. I just said "thank you". SIMON Okay. C.J. Well, I should get going. SIMON Have a good night. C.J. Good night. C.J. leaves. Simon sits down on C.J.'s chair to check her email. He eyes one with the subject "Vera Wang". After clicking on it, we see what it reads: "The Vera Wang looked great on you. I'm glad you bought it. You should wear it in the next couple of days because you're going to be dead soon." Simon reads it before he violently slams his hand on the desk. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 3.19 -- "The Black Vera Wang" Original Airdate: May 8, 2002, 9:00 PM EST Transcript by: Lisa, Amy and Corrine September 9, 2002