A wily President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) considers the extraordinary option of recalling the Senate from a winter holiday to push through a ratification of a new nuclear test-ban treaty — despite the lame-duck status of many Senators who will not return in the next session — while the drunken Ukrainian leader, Vasily Konanov (Eugene Lazarev) thunders through the White House demanding to see the President. Elsewhere, Toby (Richard Schiff) is shocked to hear that even if the Senate returns, the White House might still lack the necessary votes; Sam (Rob Lowe) learns something when he grudgingly works with new Republican assistant counsel Ainsley Hayes (Emily Procter); a stubborn C.J. (Allison Janney) argues against allowing reporter Danny (Timothy Busfield) private access to the President for a series of exclusive stories; and Donna (Janel Moloney) is on a mission to get the President to back legislation on repetitive stress injuries.
THE WEST WING "THE LAME DUCK CONGRESS" TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN STORY BY: LAWRENCE O'DONNELL JR. DIRECTED BY: JEREMY KAGAN TEASER FADE IN: INT. PRESS BRIEFING ROOM - DAY REPORTER Is he meeting with Nancy McNally? C.J. No, I want to make it very clear that Mr. Konanov, while he's here in Washington is not meeting with the Secretary of State or any Cabinet level official for that matter. He's not meeting with the UN ambassador or any senior aides representing NATO allies. And he's certainly not meeting with the President. He will be coming to the White House to meet with some of the President's advisors on the Balkans. Who's next? REPORTERS C.J.? C.J.! REPORTER 1 C.J., Senator elect Morgan Mitchell's going to announce on Hardball later today that he'll seek a seat on the Foreign Relations Committee. Then he'll block a vote on the Test Ban Treaty to prevent it coming to the floor. C.J. Yeah. REPORTER 1 Any thoughts? C.J. We'll have a fully ratified, comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. REPORTER 2 Mitchell says over his dead body. C.J. I think like all freshmen, Senator elect Mitchell will discover that he is one of a hundred and that his power is considerably less than he would like it to be. That having been said, the new Senate will ratify the Treaty and we really don't care what condition his body is in when we do. Clamoring for C.J. C.J. Danny. DANNY Has the President considered ordering a lame duck session so the current Senate can vote on the Treaty? C.J. Okay, anyone but Danny? DANNY C.J.?! C.J. No. DANNY He hasn't considered it? C.J. Danny, I don't know every thought that passes through the President's head, but there have been no discussions. DANNY That you're aware of? C.J. That I'm aware of. DANNY Well, I'd like to know if the President's considered it. Is that something you could check out and get back to us on? C.J. You bet. Who's next? More clamoring. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY Josh is watching in his office with Donna. JOSH [collecting files] She walked into it. She knows it too. DONNA Walked into what? JOSH She can't confirm that the President hasn't considered it less she asks the President if he's considered it, at which point, he'll have considered it. DONNA That sounds pretty stupid. JOSH It was a better organized thought in my head. Is she done? DONNA She's wrapping up. JOSH Let's go. They leave Josh's office and start walking down the HALLWAY. DONNA Has he considered it? JOSH No. DONNA Why not? JOSH Why should he? DONNA If he thinks he has a better chance of ratifying the Test Ban Treaty with this Congress than the new one. JOSH He doesn't. DONNA But if Morgan Mitchell says... JOSH Mitchell's not a factor. DONNA Josh, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. JOSH No. DONNA OSHA. JOSH How do you change subjects so fast? DONNA Josh, I... JOSH No, I mean it. How do you go from a Test Ban Treaty and a Lame Duck Congress to OSHA? DONNA Because I'm me. Do you know how many people acquire Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? JOSH It shouldn't surprise you to learn that I do not. DONNA 600,000 Americans a year. Do you have any idea how painful it is? JOSH Donna, in the scheme of things, who really cares? Donna grabs Josh's ear and pulls it back, hard. DONNA Do you have any idea how painful it is? JOSH Yes, yes, yes, yes. Donna lets him go. DONNA Pain in the forearm, no grip, you lose the ability to pinch. JOSH People who lose the ability to pinch, I got to tell you, I don't know from where they summon the will to go on. DONNA You guys are on the wrong side of this. JOSH Aren't you one of 'you guys'? DONNA Not on this. Donna goes off. Josh meets up with C.J. They keep walking. JOSH C.J.! C.J. I know! JOSH You walked right into it. C.J. There was no other direction to walk. Now, please, just answer know to this question: Has the President considered it? They reach the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. JOSH No. C.J. Good. JOSH Listen, not that I know of. C.J. Josh! Sam arrives behind them. SAM Listen. JOSH What? SAM He should consider it, he should consider it right now. C.J. Mitchell isn't going to get a seat on Foreign Relations. SAM There's a seat open on Appropriations. JOSH Casey'll move? SAM What do you think? Toby comes out of his office. TOBY What's going on? JOSH Casey wants appropriations. And he has the seniority. SAM So he'll have to give up budget. JOSH Which Taglio will jump at in a second. Which clears the way for Newberry in Senate Armed Services. C.J. Newberry leaving opens up Judiciary. SAM Now, who wants to be Attorney-General under the next Republican President? JOSH Howard Weston. SAM That's right. So he takes the seat on Judiciary. JOSH Vacating his seat on Foreign Relations. C.J. So? There's a seat open on Foreign Relations, that doesn't mean Mitchell's going to get it. SAM Yes it does. C.J. Why? SAM Nobody else's going to want it. C.J. Why? TOBY Because there's no money in it. Senate Foreign Relations Committee has no control over budget so there are no lobbyists, which means there are no fundraisers. C.J. The Constitution says 'under extraordinary circumstances'. JOSH It's a Treaty that's vital to national and global security. What kind of extraordinary circumstances do you have in mind? C.J. These people- JOSH Sam, you've been studying this, do you think we have any chance with the new Congress? SAM I think we have no chance with the new Congress. C.J. isn't happy about this. SAM While I've never lived through a massive nuclear explosion, decimating all forms of life in a two hundred mile radius, I've seen pictures. And I couldn't agree with Josh more in his interpretation of the 'extraordinary circumstances' clause of the constitution. TOBY Is Leo free now? JOSH [looking at clock] Five minutes. C.J. These people are gone. The 106th Congress is adjourned, twelve of them were voted out of office. This is bad pool. You go in there now and tell the President to call a lame duck session and he does, it's going to look like politics. TOBY It is politics. He turns back to his office. C.J. Toby. TOBY Let's see Leo. C.J. What are you going to tell the 12 people who are out there looking for new jobs? TOBY They may not be done with their old ones yet. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY 10:15 A.M. Sam, Josh and C.J. are on the couches explaining their plan to Leo and the President. SAM Casey's gonna want Appropriations. JOSH He wants budget. SAM He's on Budget. JOSH That's right. SAM He's gonna want Appropriations. JOSH Casey's gonna want Appropriations. SAM And he has the seniority. JOSH That means he's going to have to give up the Budget place. C.J. Taglio'll take that. SAM Which clears the way for Newberry in armed services. JOSH Newberry'll take his seat on Judiciary. C.J. Which means Weston leaves foreign relations. SAM Which is where Mitchell comes in. Toby joins the meeting in the Oval Office. LEO Guys! BARTLET It's like trying to run the country with Barnum Bailey and his sister Sue. Sam, C.J. and Josh all start talking at once. BARTLET Leo, will it be possible for just two of them to speak at once? LEO Toby. TOBY There was an hour and ten minute meeting with Dick Rush, Ed, Marty Beech and Henry Rodriguez. I've never seen both political and legislative liaisons so unanimous in a diagnosis. LEO They think you should call it. JOSH Yeah. TOBY Mr. President, we have better chance of winning now than a month from now. SAM Not only that but... LEO Sam! SAM Sorry. LEO Toby. TOBY Not only that but here's what C.J. can tell the press. The world is looking to the U.S. to ratify the Treaty first. The longer we wait, the longer it takes other countries to ratify. The closer we get to unstable countries like Pakistan developing a nuclear threat. LEO Arguments against? SAM We might lose the vote. That'll hang around our necks for two years. JOSH The Senate'll be pissed off, they might stall confirmations. C.J. And I can just add that a Senator Elect announcing what committee assignment he'd like it not... TOBY C.J. C.J. It's not what the founders would have considered an extraordinary occasion. SAM Ha. An extraordinary occasion is whatever the President says it is. JOSH An extraordinary occasion... C.J., Sam and Josh argue. BARTLET [calling] Charlie! CHARLIE [opening the door] Yes sir? BARTLET Could I have a couple of aspirin and a weapon of some kind to kill people with? CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET Leo? LEO Look, even when they're here in session, trying to get a hundred Senators in line is still like getting cats to march in parade. BARTLET What do you want to do? LEO Let's get the leaderships temperature on a lame duck session. And let's also get some kind of nose count and see where we are. TOBY C.J., leak that the President's considering calling the Senate back. C.J. That actually, is not going to be a problem. LEO The source is big enough that they go with it, small enough that we're not tied to it. Toby, get me a nose count. TOBY Yeah. Bartlet stands up, everyone else does too. LEO What else? JOSH The State Department wants permission to change the terminology from Rogue Nations to State of Concern. LEO Not now. What else? TOBY Medicare coverage of clinical trials. LEO Not now. What else? SAM Fraud awareness for small business owners. LEO Not now. Anything else? No response. LEO The four of you wait in my office. They file out with various, 'Thank you sir's. BARTLET Thank you all. Bartlet stands behind his desk. Leo leans on the front of it. BARTLET When does Konanov get here? LEO In a few minutes. BARTLET No high level meetings, right? LEO No. BARTLET Okay. LEO You don't want to call this vote, then lose. BARTLET Yeah, but this could be window. LEO Yeah. BARTLET We've got see if it's doable. LEO Yeah. BARTLET It could be doable. LEO Yeah. BARTLET You got anything more to say? LEO Not this minute. BARTLET Okay. LEO Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you. Leo walks into his office and stands behind his desk looking at the Senior Staff. LEO There'll be an editorial in The Post tomorrow. C.J. You're kidding me? LEO 'The President's time isn't being used efficiently.' C.J. It couldn't wait? LEO 'Schedules are abandoned before lunchtime.' C.J. That's four in two weeks. LEO 'The West Wing resembles a high school year-book office.' And I believe I am compared to a substitute teacher. SAM That's ridiculous. LEO No, it's not. C.J. Leo... LEO Certainly not based on the display I just saw in there. So, new rules. You need an answer from the President, you need to brief him on something, you want him the way in; I want to see a summary on my desk. Absolutely no longer than two pages. And I want my initials on it before you go into the Oval Office. SAM Leo. JOSH A two page summary's gonna kind of cramp our style. LEO Your style could use a little cramping. Are we understood? ALL Yes. LEO Toby, Sam, take some meetings on the Hill tonight. Toby, concentrate on votes that can be lost with Stensen gone. Sam, dangle reservations in front of them. C.J. start the leak. Sam, C.J. and Toby start to leave. LEO Oh, anybody happens to see Vasily Konanov in the hallways, walk in the other direction. C.J. stays, the others leave. SAM I can't unleash my full potential in a two page summary. TOBY Listen to me. Sam, Toby and Josh leave Leo's office and walk in the HALLWAY. They will end up in SAM'S OFFICE. TOBY Listen to me. I'm going to meet with Fox and Fowler. Sam, you're gonna go to the Hill. SAM Do you think with Stensen gone...? TOBY I think with Stensen gone I can get Fox and Fowler to loosen up some votes, That is if I can ever get them to order lunch off of the damn menu. JOSH They don't order? TOBY You've never seen grown men order lunch like this. Fox and Fowler'll loosen votes. Sam, you're up on the Hill dropping we'll consider reservations. It is not out of the realm of possibility that that meeting gets us eight votes. JOSH Their bosses want to talk to the President? He's right by the phone. TOBY So this is not an unimportant meeting. SAM Just so you know, I also have to take a 22 page position paper and summarize it in two pages. It's gotta be done some time today. JOSH You can staff that, give it to Ainsley Hayes. SAM I can't give it to Ainsley. She's... TOBY Get over it. SAM Okay, but there are going to be nine different jokes because I asked her for help. TOBY 'Reservations' that's the word you're dropping when you're on the Hill. You're not to leave the meeting in the wind. Just say the word. SAM Yeah. They all start to leave for their offices. TOBY Oh. They turn back. TOBY Let's be able to end this day by telling the President that he's in striking distance and he should seriously consider the session. Let's be able to do that. [looking around] Where's C.J.? JOSH Looking for a reporter to leak the story to. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY C.J. meets Danny in the yellow hallway. They walk. DANNY Stock do. C.J. I don't believe. DANNY What? C.J. You guys launched another editorial. DANNY Hey, C.J. C.J. Four in two weeks. DANNY I don't work for the editorial staff. C.J. Well, that's convenient. DANNY Yeah. C.J. You expect me to do nothing about it? DANNY What are you going to do, cancel your subscription? C.J. Look... DANNY Slap me around? C.J. Any reason I can't do both? DANNY Hey, Carol. CAROL Hey. C.J. [before entering her office] Carol, would you get me the spokesperson of the majority leader's office? CAROL House or Senate? C.J. Senate. Danny follows C.J. into her OFFICE. DANNY You guys are considering a lame duck session? C.J. Who says? DANNY You just put a call through to the majority leader's office. C.J. [walking to face him] We do a great deal of business with the majority leader's office. He leads the majority. DANNY He's not in session. C.J. I believe they'll track him down. DANNY Can I say White House senior aides? C.J. [turning away] No. DANNY High level sources inside the White House? C.J. Certain sources inside the White House office of legislative liaisons who decline to be named. DANNY It sounds like I got from somebody's paper boy. C.J. Take it or leave it. DANNY I'll take it. C.J. Anything else? DANNY [beat] No. C.J. Thank you. Danny leaves. CAROL [calling] Ken Richardson on line three. C.J. Who's he? CAROL He's the spokesperson for the majority leader. C.J. I didn't need him. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Donna latches onto Josh as walks past her into the yellow hallway. They walk through the Lobby and back to JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. DONNA See, what I think you don't understand is that Carpal Tunnel is only one of many afflictions that fall into the category of repetitive stress injuries or RSI and which are covered by the science of ergonomics. JOSH I'm not in charge of the science of ergonomics. You're going to have to find somebody else who, you know, cares. DONNA You don't have to be in charge of it, OSHA is. They're come up with a new series of industry standards. And I want to know why the White House isn't implementing them. JOSH [pouring himself coffee] Because the SPA says the cost to small business could exceed 18 billion dollars in the first year. They'll be a huge increase in workmen's compensation premiums. And republicans find the word ergonomics to be silly. DONNA If we backed off everything because of words Republicans find silly we'd have a lot of pregnant teenagers and no health care. JOSH We do have a lot of pregnant teenagers and no health care. DONNA So, how's your plan going so far? They are back at JOSH'S OFFICE. JOSH Look... Charlie appears at the door. CHARLIE Josh? JOSH Hang on Charlie. CHARLIE No, I don't think it's going to wait. JOSH What? CHARLIE Vasily Konanov is here. JOSH I can't see him. Charlie, make sure he's not in the building. CHARLIE He's not. JOSH Good. CHARLIE He's in the driveway. JOSH What do you mean? CHARLIE He's sitting in the car in the driveway. He's refusing to get out unless he can speak to the President. JOSH This is a joke? CHARLIE No. JOSH He's sitting in the driveway. CHARLIE Josh, they're saying, you know... JOSH What? CHARLIE They're saying he's drunk. JOSH Really? CHARLIE Yeah. JOSH Okay. Josh gets up and walks out of his office. Charlie follows him down the hall. JOSH Okay. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - DAY 12:35 P.M. Ainsley knocks on Sam's doorframe. AINSLEY Excuse me? SAM [looks up] Yes. AINSLEY This is your office? She walks in and looks around. SAM Yes. AINSLEY It's very nice, Sam. SAM Thank you. AINSLEY You can see sunlight and you have a window that can be opened for ventilation. SAM You want to work or do you want to decorate my office. AINSLEY You called me? SAM Yes, I need your help. AINSLEY Really? SAM Let's not a big deal out of it. Ainsley takes her mobile phone out and dials a phone number. AINSLEY No, it's sweet that you need my help. SAM I don't need your help. I'm asking for your help so let's not make a federal... AINSLEY [into her phone] Dad, it's me. Sam's asking for my help. SAM Put the phone down. AINSLEY [into her phone] Gotta go, dad, I need to help Sam. SAM That must have rolled them in the aisles back in Georgia. AINSLEY I'm from North Carolina. SAM Wherever it was you studied baton twirling. AINSLEY That'll be Harvard Law School. SAM Yes, so here's the thing... Ainsley follows Sam out into the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. AINSLEY You need my help. SAM A favor. AINSLEY Okay. SAM I have a position recommendation for the President regarding an amendment to a Congress bill. [shows her] This memo's 22 pages long and Leo's on a streamlining kick. AINSLEY You want me to summarize your recommendation and give it to the President. They begin walking down the HALLWAY. SAM Yes. And then I want you to skip to Toulon in a turn doll skirt. AINSLEY Sam. SAM Summarize it and you give it to me. AINSLEY Fine. SAM [handing over the memo] Thank you. AINSLEY In exchange for what? SAM No. Ainsley hands him back the memo and turns to leave. AINSLEY Then my schedule's pretty tight. SAM In exchange for what? AINSLEY You're going to the Hill? SAM Yes. AINSLEY State meetings on the Test Ban Treaty? SAM Yeah. AINSLEY I want to go. They start walking to the LOBBY. SAM No. AINSLEY Why? SAM 'Cause. AINSLEY Oh! SAM Ainsley? AINSLEY I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to spill anything. I'm not going to get Republican juice on you. I'm just going to sit there and learn. SAM Look... AINSLEY From the master, Sam, I want to learn from the master. SAM [stopping] See, women think that kind of thing works, but it doesn't. AINSLEY It really does, Sam. Sam looks at her. They start walking again. SAM I let you come to the Hill, you'll summarize my memo? AINSLEY I'll use punctuation and everything. You might even get extra credit. SAM Ainsley... AINSLEY Have you eaten lunch? SAM No. AINSLEY I brought my lunch from home. SAM That's fine. AINSLEY I ate it already. SAM That's fine, too. AINSLEY Did you bring your lunch from home? SAM Ainsley, what the hell...? AINSLEY Do you think you'll be eating it? SAM You can't have my lunch. AINSLEY Okay. SAM Meet me in the lobby in an hour. AINSLEY Okay. Sam hands her the memo. Ainsley takes it and leaves. Josh catches up with Sam. SAM I'm helping her out. JOSH Good. SAM You know... JOSH We've got a problem. SAM What? JOSH Konanov. SAM He's here? JOSH In a manner of speaking. They reach LEO'S OFFICE. Josh knocks on Leo's door. JOSH Leo? LEO Yeah. JOSH [entering] How you doing? LEO Good. JOSH Vasily Konanov is in the driveway, he's drunk, and he won't get out of the car until he speaks to the President. Leo's face falls. SAM And we have a winner. LEO Are you kidding me? JOSH He's sitting in the car with a woman who I imagine is either a security attache or a hooker. SAM Please, tell me it's not... JOSH [quickly] It's no one you know, Sam. LEO Have you spoken to him? JOSH I'm not allowed to speak to him. I've walked by the car a couple of times, to see what was what. Leo looks out his window, through the blinds, at the car in front of the White House. It is surrounded by men in dark suits and sunglasses. JOSH Leo, we've got to move him. Tourists are going to start to ask questions and Boris and Natasha are going to answer them. LEO You now have permission to talk to him. Put him in an office, dry him out, and explain why he can't see the President. JOSH [as he leaves] Good. LEO [calling after him] Avoid the situation room. JOSH Good safety tip. [exits] LEO [to Sam] What? SAM I'm going to take Ainsley to the Hill with me for the meetings. LEO Good. SAM She wants me to teach her a couple of things. LEO Good. SAM She called me the master. LEO Get out. SAM Okay. [leaves] CUT TO: INT. A RESTAURANT - DAY Toby is meeting with JOE FOX and BOB FOWLER in a restaurant. The waitress is trying to take their orders. BOB FOWLER I'll take the risotto, but I'd like it cooked with chicken broth instead of oil, is that possible? WAITRESS Sure. FOWLER And I'll like to substitute snow peas for the asparagus. JOE FOX I'll have the same, but I don't want the squash pureed with either cream or butter. In fact it doesn't even have to be pureed. TOBY Fellas! FOX I'm just asking. TOBY It's pureed squash. If it's not pureed then it's just squash. FOX [to the waitress] Butter's fine. He gives up his menu. The waitress turns to Toby. TOBY I'll have a New York steak and a ginger ale. WAITRESS Would you like that...? TOBY Just cook it. FOX The rumor's been getting around like a virus. FOWLER Is it more than a rumor. TOBY We don't know yet. FOX Toby, our boss is fishing off the quay. FOWLER Yeah, everybody's boss is fishing off the quay. FOX Now they're skiing in Jackson Hall or watching football on TV. TOBY And it would really tear the President up in side to bring them back. But I want to talk about if he should. FOWLER Well, out guy's not going to vote to ratify. TOBY Why not? FOX The same reason why he wouldn't before. TOBY We didn't have a vote before. FOX Because you knew you'd lose. TOBY That's right. FOWLER What, what... what are you saying? TOBY I'm saying what if there was a vote now without Stensen breathing down his neck. FOX Stensen wasn't what...? TOBY Fox. FOX Stensen wasn't what was keeping us from voting for it. TOBY What was? FOX The voters, what the hell did you...? TOBY 82% of voters want the Test Ban Treaty! FOX Not in our state. TOBY You were guttered by the 18%? FOX Not in our state, Toby! TOBY 82% of voters, Joe. 82% of voters, to say nothing of 150 nations including Russia, China, Great Britain, France. Four countries you don't often see on the same size of the ball. FOWLER Fine, now get North Korea, India and Pakistan on board and we'll have a ball game. TOBY Fowler? FOX Have you checked your backyard? TOBY What? FOX Have you checked your backyard? TOBY What do you...? FOX In the nose count, Toby. I don't think you have the votes you think you have. There is a very long pause. Heartbeats, with few breaths. TOBY Who did we lose? FOX Make your calls. TOBY I don't have to make... [beat] Who'd we lose? FOWLER Make your calls, Toby. The waitress comes back. WAITRESS I'm sorry, did you say that you...? FOX [pointing to Fowler] Chicken broth instead of oil, snow peas instead of asparagus. WAITRESS [writing] Asparagus. TOBY Excuse me. Toby throws his napkin down and leaves. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY Charlie and Leo are walking through the lobby. CHARLIE I don't understand. LEO It happens. CHARLIE A member of the Ukrainian government... LEO Yeah. CHARLIE Can just show up? LEO Well, he had an appointment, just not to meet with the President. CHARLIE The guy's a little crazy, Leo. LEO No, he's just... yeah, he's crazy, but he's our kind of crazy so.... CHARLIE You got it. LEO Good. CHARLIE The girl's not bad looking. LEO Go to work. Charlie stops at a door. Leo starts to keep going. CHARLIE Do you think she knows how to kill me? LEO Yes. Leo walks past the Roosevelt room. Donna catches up with him. DONNA Leo? LEO Hey, Donna. DONNA Leo, could I possibly talk to you for a moment? LEO Sure. DONNA That's a very nice suit. LEO Thank you. DONNA Is that new? LEO No, what's on your mind? DONNA The Occupational Safety and Health Administration would like to do something about Repetitive Stress Injuries and or muscular skeletal disorder like Tendonitis... LEO Or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. DONNA Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is, yes, one interesting example out of several... LEO We can't afford it. DONNA But what I... LEO It costs $6 billion, Donna! Type slower! Donna goes off. Leo continues and meets up with C.J. in the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. LEO C.J.? C.J. Yeah. LEO What have we got? C.J. The State Department and our new vocabulary. LEO Is this the ten minute pitch or the two minute pitch? C.J. [indignant] The two minute pitch! LEO Go. C.J. Okay, now you threw me off my game. LEO C.J.! C.J. No, I'm nervous now. LEO Come on. C.J. I feel like if I run over you're going to have the orchestra throw me off. LEO I'm getting older over here, C.J. C.J. State wants us to change 'rogue nations' to 'states of concern.' I say fine, it's a symbolic gesture with no real consequence. It gains us points with allies who feel we've been too harsh and it signals to the seven countries we're talking about that we are open to taking positive steps in the future if they initiate reforms. LEO Any down side? C.J. I'll feel stupid. LEO I can live with that. C.J. You certainly have so far. LEO Well. Hey, make sure you talk to the President by the end of the day. C.J. Sure, about what? LEO Danny Concannon wants access for a three part feature about... C.J. No! LEO No what? C.J. No he can't have access. LEO C.J.! C.J. He can't have access. Leo, his editorial staff just jumped up and down on your head yesterday, and last Thursday and the President twice before that. Four times in two weeks! That's why everybody's walking around with a stopwatch. He gets no milk and cookies. LEO Talk to the President at the end of the day. C.J. Le- LEO You'll get another two minutes. Leo walks off. C.J. has to answer her phone. C.J. Hello? CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo walks on to his office. Toby comes up behind him. TOBY We may be dead already. LEO What happened? TOBY We lost one of our people. LEO Who? TOBY I don't know. [beat] I need some help on the inside. Is Tony Merino in Philadelphia? LEO I don't know. TOBY I'd like to call him and see if he'll get on a train. LEO Toby?! I... TOBY I want out who we lost and can we get them back. LEO Back, Pip! TOBY We lost one of our people. LEO Who? TOBY They wouldn't tell me, Leo, I need you to... LEO Fox and Fowler?! TOBY Fox and Fowler wouldn't tell me who we lost they just said to check our back yard. LEO Who the hell...? TOBY I don't know. Which is why I need to talk to Marino. LEO It's not hard enough getting new votes we need to cover... TOBY Leo, I need you to talk to Marino. LEO Toby? TOBY I need you to call him and set up a meeting with me. He needs to tell me who jumped the fence. He needs to help us bring them back. LEO Toby, the guy lost a bad race, bloody. TOBY He's going to want to come back for this. LEO I think he's going to want to sit down. TOBY Not on the Test Ban Treaty. He spent four years of his life on it. LEO He spent a lot longer than that, and it burned him in the end. He lost his seat. TOBY Leo? LEO The man's done it. TOBY Obviously he hasn't. A beat. LEO I set up this meeting. And what's your pitch? TOBY That this treaty want's bad. It can happen. Not only that but he can stick it to every Pennsylvanian voters who put him out of a job and take Mitchell's knees out before he has a chance to put his pencils in a jar. Plus, who'd we lose? LEO I don't know who we lost? TOBY He'll know. LEO Toby. TOBY Leo. LEO He's been out of town for a month and a half. TOBY He'll know! [beat] Leo, if it was anything less than pooling on the Test Ban Treaty I wouldn't, but... LEO [calling] Margaret! Toby picks up his briefcase from at his feet. TOBY Thank you. Toby leaves Leo's office and walks back to his own. CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - DAY BONNIE Toby! TOBY Messages! BONNIE Yeah, but... TOBY Why are my blinds closed? BONNIE Yeah, listen... Bonnie gets up. She is just behind Toby when he opens the door. Toby stops in his doorway. VASILY KONANOV and the WOMAN are in Toby's office. Konanov confronts Toby in Ukrainian. Josh run across from the other side of the bullpen. JOSH Yeah! Yeah, that deserves an explanation. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY 4:35 P.M. Josh is leading Mr Konanov to his office through the Lobby. JOSH Mr Konanov, Mr Konanov, yes, right in here, sir, right in here. Mr Konanov... They all enter JOSH'S OFFICE. KONANOV Errand boys... is what they sent me. I'm a reformer. And I will lead the Ukraine, and you know this. And they sent me errand boys! JOSH As a matter of fact I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff. WOMAN Ha! JOSH It's actually, it's a very... it's a big.... Never mind. Mr Konanov, there's protocol, your government has a leader we deal with. KONANOV You wish to deal with me! JOSH We do wish to deal with you but right now President Shevschuck... KONANOV You called my embassy? JOSH We're in touch with the embassy as well as the Capital. We are seeking permission to have you speak with secretary... KONANOV I wish to speak to the President! JOSH Now that's not going to happen and you damn well know it! WOMAN You speak to him in this tone? JOSH He's drunk, in my office and I will speak to him in what ever tone pleases me. [almost screaming] Donna! Konanov sits down. JOSH [to Donna] Put two uniformed agents outside my door. Tell Leo I'm coming over. DONNA Yeah. JOSH [striding to Leo's office] Oh, how I miss the Cold War. CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL HILL - DAY Sam and Ainsley are on the Hill with three guys. SAM This is my fifth... BRATT Sam... SAM This is my fifth meeting in a row, it's my last meeting on the Hill and I want to know what it's going to take for your boss to loosen his grip. BRATT Sam... SAM If the Senator moves he frees up eight maybe ten votes. He gives political cover to those who... KEENE Why should he move? SAM We'll go past it's the right thing to do and... THOMAS You know, Sam, this is not a holy thing. SAM Let's just say... KEENE No. You guys act like if your against the Test Ban Treaty then you're blood thirsty? Senate Republicans aren't the only ones against this. THOMAS Six past Secretaries of Defense, five former CIA directors... BRATT Former Secretary of State and a former national security advisor. SAM 31 Nobel Laureates, the chairman of the joint chiefs, 150 countries on this planet, and 82% of people living in this one say the treaty makes the world a safer place. KEENE It's not a safer place if North Korea and Iran are making significant technological improvements while the President's handing out commemorative pens. SAM You can't tell me that the chance we take with our ability to verify is not weighed by the chance we take doing nothing at all. KEENE I've heard all this. SAM Right, then I'm here to ask you this... KEENE Sam. SAM I'm here to ask you this: Is there no room for movement? There is a long pause. SAM We consider attaching reservation. The other guys look at each other. KEENE If you can't trust a man's word, what good is it to put it on paper? SAM Is there room for movement? BRATT You wasted a trip. SAM I'll waste more of them. They all start packing up their stuff. KEENE We're done. SAM Yeah. KEENE Ainsley, I'm surprised to see you here. AINSLEY Why? KEENE Well, before you were on Bartlet's payroll you were a fairly vocal opponent of the treaty. AINSLEY Well, it President Bartlet, I'm on the government payroll. And I believe that politics should stop at the water's edge. KEENE Okay. AINSLEY To be honest with you, I think it should stop well before that but it turns out there's no Santa Claus and Elvis isn't cutting breakfast anymore. THOMAS What did she say? AINSLEY See, I don't think you think the treaty's bad, I don't think you think it's good, I think you want to beat the White House. KEENE Yeah. AINSLEY You're a schmuck, Peter. Today, tomorrow, next year, next term, these guys'll have the treaty ratified and they'll do it without the reservations he just offered to discuss with you. They all get up to leave. AINSLEY [beat] Can I take this muffin? KEENE Yeah?! CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OUTER OFFICE - DAY Margaret is typing something for Leo. She is typing two-fingered and very slowly. LEO [from his office] Margaret! MARGARET Yeah. LEO You got that memo? MARGARET Any minute now. LEO [coming out] Margaret? MARGARET Yeah. LEO What the hell are you doing? MARGARET Why, I'm typing, Leo. LEO Margaret?! MARGARET Apparently your response to Donna's perfectly legitimate concern about the White House not supporting OSHA's recommendation regarding Repetitive Stress injuries was to type slower. Donna has organized most of the assistants in the West Wing to do just that. LEO [beat] Margaret? MARGARET Yeah. LEO Look at my face, right now. Margaret looks at Leo's scowl and begins typing properly, quickly. MARGARET Okay. Josh comes in from the hallway. JOSH Leo? LEO Can you keep your people in line? JOSH Well, there's been no evidence of that so far. Listen... LEO Inside. They go into LEO'S OFFICE. LEO So, what's going on? JOSH Well, I've got the 'man who came to dinner' in my office. I'm begging the Ukrainian embassy for help. If I don't get some soon I'm going to apply for a job at the Ukrainian embassy. LEO No, here's what we're going to do: All this guy wants to be able to say he met the President while he was here. JOSH He can't meet the President. LEO He can meet the President, accidentally. JOSH How can he meet the President accidentally? LEO When I was Labor secretary we did it with the Dalai Lama. Obviously Beijing doesn't want the President to have any diplomatic contact, so they arrange a low level meeting, keep the door open, the President wanders by, 'Hey, how ya doing, Dalai Lama.' JOSH That's the most crazy ass thing I've ever heard. LEO It works. JOSH This is how the world is run? LEO Yeah. JOSH I'm sticking to domestic policy. LEO Yeah, 'cause that has the ring of sanity to it. JOSH [remembering] Is Toby meeting with Merino? LEO Toby's on a mission. JOSH It's the right mission. I know you're not comfortable... LEO Continuing to exert influence after the people have voted you out is an ethically gray area for me. JOSH They're all ethically grey areas, Leo. Screw it! If we're going to have a fighting chance, we've got to invite Marino. Marino's going to want in because... LEO Marino's a street kid who lives for revenge. JOSH I was going to say 'because Marino's devoted to the issue'. LEO Also, we may have lost one of our guys. JOSH Who? LEO Toby's going to ask Marino. Josh sees Donna walking down the hallway. JOSH [calling] Hey, Norma Rae! Get in here. Donna comes in. JOSH [indicating Leo] The man's trying to run a country. DONNA This is a law that would prevent 32 to 95 thousand injuries a year. LEO Not here it wouldn't. DONNA Why not? JOSH The White House and Congress are exempt from the work place related laws they pass. DONNA The White House and Congress are exempt? JOSH Yeah. DONNA Well that makes things considerably easier for yourselves. LEO Yeah. Josh, set it up. DONNA [to Josh] You've got you four o'clock. Josh follows Donna out in the HALLWAY. JOSH I've got a job for you. DONNA The White House and Congress are exempt! JOSH Get past it. DONNA What do you need? JOSH I need Vasily Konanov to meet with someone of absolutely no consequence. You're my girl. DONNA What the hell are you...? JOSH I need you to meet with Vasily Konanov. DONNA [plaintive] Why? JOSH So the President can drop in and interrupt you. DONNA Are you kidding me? JOSH No. DONNA So I'm a beard. JOSH Yes. DONNA I'm being used? JOSH Yes. DONNA As a dupe? JOSH Yes. DONNA And how am I supposed to feel about that? JOSH How do you usually feel about that? DONNA Josh! JOSH Donna. DONNA My value here is that I have no value. JOSH You have enormous value to me. You have no value to Eastern Europe. DONNA Okay. You know what this is? JOSH No. DONNA This is an opportunity. JOSH That's right. DONNA This is an audience with a man who understands the plight of the worker. JOSH Yes. DONNA [worried] Or did you think that because he's a reformer, he'll understand the plight of economics. JOSH Well, he's drunk, and he doesn't speak a lot of English so I don't think he'll understand much of anything at all. But set up the meeting and knock 'em dead. He leaves Donna feeling empowered. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - DAY Sam and Ainsley are coming back from the meetings on the Hill, back to Lobby. SAM 'Can I have this muffin?'! AINSLEY Listen. SAM 'Can I have this muffin?'! AINSLEY I was... SAM I think that you'll discover that the sharpest of closing remarks'll be blunted by asking for a muffin. AINSLEY The minute we left that room those guys were calling their bosses saying, 'They're offering to attach reservations, let's jump on it.' SAM I have no problem with that. You did great with the reservations and politics stopping at the water's edge was touching and then you asked permission to have a muffin. AINSLEY I was hungry. They meet up with C.J. and all keep walking to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. C.J. How'd it go on the Hill? SAM Much as you'd expect. You know what I think? C.J. What? SAM I think Ramsey, Roanoke maybe even Greys. I think they're going to vote for it anyway. C.J. Why? SAM 'Cause Tony Marino's going to tell them to. I just named three Senators that can't get re-elected without labor and Marino may be out of a job but he's still going to swing a big bat with the unions. C.J. Toby's meeting with him right now. SAM Good. C.J. Do you think I should give Danny Concannon access for a feature? SAM Yes. C.J. You're wrong. SAM Okay. AINSLEY You should. C.J. Why? AINSLEY [beat] He's cute. C.J. I'm leaving. She does just that. SAM [to Ainsley] Do you have my two page summary? AINSLEY I'm sorry? SAM Do you have my two page summary? AINSLEY [beat] Yes. SAM Could I have it? AINSLEY Yes. She gets the papers out of her briefcase and gives it to Sam. SAM Thank you. He goes into his office to read it. Ainsley waits patiently outside. Sam comes back out after about ten seconds. SAM You reversed my position. AINSLEY Yeah. SAM I gave this to you to summarize and you didn't summarize it so much as you reversed my position. AINSLEY I gave it a little polish, yeah! SAM You reversed my position. AINSLEY It's shorted. SAM It is shorter and you reversed my position. AINSLEY Your position was wrong. SAM Will you step inside please? AINSLEY Sure. AINSLEY Sure. She gets up and follows Sam into his office. He closes the door. CUT TO: INT. A BAR - DAY Toby is sitting in bar. SENATOR TONY MARINO arrives. MAN Evening, Senator. Toby stands up as Marino comes up. TOBY Senator. SENATOR TONY MARINO How ya going, Toby? TOBY What'll you have? MARINO Ah, Dewar's rocks. They sit down opposite each other at the little table. TOBY I appreciate your coming down. MARINO Sure. TOBY The President's thinking about calling a session. MARINO Yeah. TOBY It's true. MARINO Yeah, it was well leaked. TOBY It's nice we found a use for our particular talents. MARINO Yeah. TOBY Anyway, I had a meeting at lunch with Joe Fox and Bob Fowler, and they said we may have lost one our guys, and I wanted to find out if it was true: who is it, and is it important? MARINO It's true and it couldn't be less important. TOBY Who is it? MARINO It was me, Toby. TOBY I don't understand. MARINO They were talking about me. TOBY I don't... Tony, I don't understand. You changed your mind...? MARINO No. TOBY .... I don't... MARINO No, I haven't changed my mind, and I'll do whatever the White House wants in terms of sponsors. But if you call a session now, I can't vote for it. The waiter brings the drink. WAITER There you go. MARINO Thank you. TOBY Tony... MARINO Toby, I'm a lame duck Senator. The people of Pennsylvania voted me out and Morgan Mitchell. He's gets a seat on Foreign Relations, we should all kill ourselves, by the way. TOBY Senator... MARINO I'm going to talk to Newberry about staying where he is, and stopping dominoes. TOBY Senator, there's no reason why you can't... MARINO They voted me out, Toby. Largely based on my support of a comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. TOBY Only because Mitchell painted another picture. MARINO Well, that's not for me to say. And I'm going to choose not to assume that my constituents feel a certain way because they were duped. TOBY Senator, nobody expects... you know... you're not expected to... MARINO Nobody expects, nobody expects. Toby it seems to me that more and more we've come to expect less and less from each other. And I think that should change. I'm a senator for another 10 weeks and I'm going to chose to respect these people and what they want. You call a lame duck session now, and I've got to abstain. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - NIGHT 8:25 P.M. Bonnie is leading a tour group through the White House. BONNIE Now, this is the North-West executive entrance to the White House. Now, ordinarily I'd be allowed to show you more but the President's in the West Wing right now and when he's in his office we like to the area as quiet as possible. Toby comes in complaining. TOBY The whole damn world's flying apart at the equator, did you know that, Bonnie? BONNIE [gesturing to Toby] This, of course, is my boss, Toby Ziegler. Toby stops and addresses the group. TOBY Why's the Test Ban Treaty so important? Well! Let me tell you. In 1974 India set off a peaceful nuclear explosion. Indira Ghandi herself said they had no intention of building a bomb, they just wanted to know that they could. 20 years later India set off five nuclear explosions. Who gets nervous? Pakistan. When Pakistan get nervous, everyone gets nervous, you know why? 'Cause we're all going to die! Toby leaves down the Yellow Corridor. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - NIGHT Ainsley and Sam are in his office. Ainsley is pacing. AINSLEY Sam, half of America's workforce is employed by small business. That's companies that employ fewer than 100 workers. SAM I know what a small business is. AINSLEY Then you know that a third of them fail. One third of all small businesses lose money and fail. Not because of rent hikes, or big businesses squeezing them out, but because of why? SAM Employee fraud. AINSLEY That's right. SAM Yes. AINSLEY Why do you say that? SAM You reversed my position. AINSLEY Other than that, Sam, other than what you've been saying for the last hour and a half. SAM I can't believe I'm listening to a Republican tell me the government should run background checks into peak business. In fact I can't believe I'm listening to a Republican. Could it possibly be that most of the people you want to fingerprint have darker skin than you do? AINSLEY Well, not to let the facts interfere with a good story, but 80% of violators are white. Fraudulent employees are three times more likely to be married, they're four times more likely to be to be men, 16 times more likely to be managers and executives and guess what, professor, they're five times more likely to have post graduate degrees. SAM You, listen. I, you know, I can't. Alright. Start from the beginning. AINSLEY Really? SAM Yeah. AINSLEY Are you eating that doughnut? SAM Take the doughnut. Start from the beginning. Ainsley takes a bit from Sam's doughnut. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Charlie is in his office area reading files. C.J. comes in. C.J. Hello. CHARLIE Hey, C.J. C.J. I'm supposed to see him. CHARLIE Yeah, there's a meeting in there, but I think they're circling for a landing. C.J. Mind if I wait? CHARLIE No. Danny strolls in. DANNY Hey, Charlie. CHARLIE Hey, Danny. DANNY Hey, C.J. C.J. Hey, Nimrod. DANNY Look, I leaked your damn story for you. C.J. You leaked it for me, I leaked it to you, pal. I used you like so much whatever. DANNY Well put. Charlie, I'm here to see the President. CHARLIE Yeah, he's finishing up a meeting. C.J. Charlie, Danny's paper, after savaging us four times in two weeks would like access so Danny can write a three part feature. CHARLIE About what? C.J. About winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a three part feature. DANNY Look! C.J. See reporters seldom win a Pulitzer, feature writers do. And the Post has been getting a little out paced in the hardware department lately. DANNY Charlie, you know I'm here, do you suspect my motives are anything but journalistic? CHARLIE Yeah, I'd definitely like to be part of this conversation. DANNY [to C.J.] Are you telling me this doesn't have anything to do with...? CHARLIE C.J. C.J. Thank you. C.J. walks into THE OVAL OFFICE as much as away from Danny. The President walks back behind his desk and is signing stuff. C.J. Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET No more Rouge Nations, huh? C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET Well that was easy. C.J. Sir. BARTLET What's doing, Claudia Jean? C.J. Mr. President, the Post would like access for Danny Concannon to do a three part feature inside the Oval Office. BARTLET Yeah, let's do it. Charlie comes in and takes some documents from Bartlet. C.J. No, I don't think it's a good idea, sir. BARTLET Why not? C.J. Sir, after the Editorials they've run... BARTLET Yeah, they've been way off base. He takes his coffee mug and goes to fill it from the pot on the other side of the room. BARTLET Not so much the second one. But the first, third and fourth were silly. And the fourth was mean spirited. C.J. Exactly, so let's send them a message. BARTLET Nah. C.J Sir. BARTLET First of all, it wasn't Danny. C.J. Danny is their representative. We have to stop being a punching bag and they need a wake up call. BARTLET Nah. It's going to look petty and petulant. You know why? C.J. Sir? BARTLET Because it's petty and petulant. He walks back to his desk. C.J follows him. C.J. Nobody elected this newspaper, certainly not the 48 million people who chose you to be President. Charlie brings something in. BARTLET Yeah, but not having to run for anything tends to help with honesty and decisiveness. [to Charlie] Thanks, Charlie, send Danny in, would you please? CHARLIE Yes, sir. C.J. Mr. President, you have to send them a message. Bartlet takes off his glasses to look at C.J. BARTLET I really don't, C.J. [beat] Is this personal? C.J. Excuse me? BARTLET I hear things, I don't understand most of it, but I hear it. C.J. No, sir, it's absolutely not personal. BARTLET He's a great reporter, and you're a great Press Secretary. And that's why it was never going to work while the two of you had those jobs. Danny comes in. C.J. [shocked] Sir, I... BARTLET [calling] Hey, Danny. C.J. You... DANNY Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Danny, I think you guys have had your heads up your asses for the last few weeks, I hope you don't mind me saying so. DANNY Of course not, Mr. President. BARTLET Not only that, but I think you've been trying to bait me. Which is a waste of time, paper and ink. I'm like 50 times smarter than any of you will ever be. I have an election to win in two years, and I'm not about to alienate the Washington Post. DANNY Yes, sir. BARTLET I'll tell you what I will do, though, I'm cancelling our subscription. C.J. Excellent, sir. The White House buys 1100 copies of the Post everyday. Cancelling that subscription would send a message loud and clear. BARTLET No, I meant just mine and Abbey's. I'll borrow a copy from somebody. CHARLIE [from the door] Mr. President. BARTLET Yeah. Take it easy, Danny. [beat] C.J.'ll give you all the access you want. DANNY Thank you, sir. C.J. Thank you, Mr. President. The President leaves. C.J. and Danny are left looking at each other. Danny starts to walk away. DANNY I have to go tell circulation we lost 32 dollars and 95 cents. C.J. I know about the job offer. DANNY I figured. C.J. Known about it for a couple of days. DANNY Yeah. C.J. You don't want to be an editor? DANNY I'm a White House reporter. C.J. I know. I just thought, by taking a job outside the press room... Danny walks back up to C.J. DANNY C.J! I have no problem with a reporter dating the Press Secretary. C.J. [beat] Well, I have a problem, so... DANNY Yeah. [beat] Okay, I'll see you later. C.J. [beat] Okay. Danny looks back at C.J. once as he walks out and leaves her standing, lost, in the middle of the Oval Office. CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - NIGHT Donna is meeting with Vasily Konanov in the mural room. Mr Konanov's 'friend' and several Secret Service Agents are there too. DONNA See, the keyboard forces users to put their wrists into a palms down position and encourages a sideways wrist twist to reach the enter key. That sideways twist is called an alner-deviation and it's very bad. It has a right hand bias towards the important letter and number keys and frequently used keys like Enter, Shift, Backspace and Control are placed near the weakest finger, forces the wrist to absorb the added pressure... KONANOV What in hell is the woman talking about? DONNA Sir, I'm talking about my government's unwillingness to... The President opens the double door of the Mural Room and strides in. Everyone stands. BARTLET Vasily! Vasily Konanov, why you're the last person I expected to be where they told me to go. He shakes Konanov's hand. KONANOV Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you, Donna. Donna leaves. BARTLET [to the agents] Thank you, gentlemen. The Secret Service Agents leave and close the doors behind them. BARTLET Vasily? KONANOV Yes. BARTLET [pointing to the woman] I don't know who this is. KONANOV Ah! He says something in Ukrainian. The woman picks up her stuff and leaves. She curtsies to the President at the door. Konanov goes to sit down. BARTLET What the hell are you doing? KONANOV [standing up again] Mr. President, I would like to talk to you about commercial landing rights. I would like to talk to you about, I would like to talk to you about the World Trade Organization, and I would like to talk to you about nuclear compatibility. BARTLET I'm not the transportation secretary. You will join the WTO when you reduce the 300% tariff on America cars, and with a nuclear weapon pointed at my head I will not talk to you about nuclear compatibility. KONANOV [desperate] Mr. President. BARTLET Vasily, you're a reformer and you're going to do good things in Eastern Europe and I'm looking forward to the day when you're President. But until that time comes, my State Department deals with the government of the Ukraine. Now you can go home and so exactly what you wanted to do. [beat] To say you met with the President of the United States. He grips Konanov's hand. BARTLET [opening the door] You just did. The President leaves a very happy Konanov in the Mural Room. The Agents and the woman stand up. BARTLET How ya doing? He walks off. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT Leo is in his office, on the phone. LEO [to the phone] Yeah... yeah... Sam and Ainsley come in. Leo holds up a finger. LEO [to the phone] Thank you. [to Sam] Doctor Zhivago is out of here. SAM Good. LEO What do you have? SAM The commerce department wants us to back an amendment to a Bill that would help small businesses with fraud prevention and employee theft. We want to recommend it. LEO You have numbers? SAM Yeah. Sam gets out a folder and opens it for Leo. SAM This is from an independent study that I have faith in. 30% of workers plan to steal from their employers, 30% give in to occasional temptation, 5% will commit fraud regardless of circumstances, 85% will commit fraud given the circumstances. LEO Just out of curiosity, what are the right circumstances? SAM Need, opportunity and the ability to rationalize their behavior, it's called the fraud triangle. Leo, it's going to help us out when we want to raise the minimum wage. It's small business owners who are most opposed to wage hikes. LEO You weren't going to go the other way on this? SAM Yeah, I was. LEO You got turned around? SAM Yeah. LEO Okay, good. Thanks. SAM Thanks. Ainsley steps forward. AINSLEY Hang on, I wanted to just... SAM Thank you, Leo. Sam turns Ainsley around and ushers her out. They get to the HALLWAY. AINSLEY That was it? SAM Yeah. AINSLEY That was it? SAM Yeah. AINSLEY I don't understand. SAM You don't understand what? AINSLEY What just happened. SAM Leo said yes, we're in. AINSLEY I don't understand. SAM Leo said yes, that's the end of meeting. AINSLEY I was just talking, Sam, I was just talking to you. They get to SAM'S OFFICE. SAM Well, we play with live ammo around here. You convinced me, I convinced Leo, Leo'll convince the President. AINSLEY Sam, I... SAM It's a short day, Ainsley, and a big country. We've got to move fast. AINSLEY Is it because I said in here, the President in there... SAM Yup. AINSLEY You've got to tell me when that's going to happen. Is this how you guys decide to go to war? SAM I don't know, I'm usually not in the room when they do that. AINSLEY Sam. SAM [calling out as he leaves] Someone get her a cupcake or something. AINSLEY Sam. Ainsley steps out of Sam's office. She looks around the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. We follow her gaze as the camera pans in a complete circle. People are walking around filing things, writing things, carrying things to and fro all at once. We get back to Ainsley, who smiles, and walks off. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT The President is sitting in his chair. Charlie walks in. CHARLIE Mr. President? BARTLET Come. CHARLIE Toby's here. BARTLET Thanks, you can take off for the night, Charlie, we're done. CHARLIE Thank you, Mr. President. Toby comes in. TOBY Good evening, sir. BARTLET [beat] Tony Marino's going to abstain, huh? TOBY Yeah. BARTLET He was a great public servant, Toby, a great Senator. TOBY Didn't Edmund Burke say that a representative owes not just his industry but his judgement and betrays you if he sacrifices his judgement to yours? The President gets up and begins packing his briefcase. BARTLET Yeah. and then he was voted out of office five years later by the people of Bristol. TOBY That's not the point, sir. BARTLET I know. The fact is the opponents of the treaty are on both sides of the isle. You've got to respect them, Toby. They're politicians and they're flying in the face of overwhelming public opinion. TOBY I have to respect senators for defying 82% of American people. BARTLET Can I tell you something, honestly? This is one of those situations where I couldn't give a damn what the people think. The complexities of a global arms treaty, the technological, the military, the diplomatic nuances, it's staggering, Toby. 82% of the people cannot possibly be expected to reach an informed decision. [beat] You want to call a session anyway? TOBY No. [beat] No. If we lose, and we will, we're out of. BARTLET Yeah. [long pause] Anything else? TOBY No, sir. Thank you, Mr. President. Toby goes to leave. BARTLET You know we forget sometimes, in all the talk about democracy we forget it's not a democracy, it's a republic. People don't make the decisions, they choose the people who make the decisions. Could they do a better job choosing? Yeah. But when you consider the alternatives, anyway, Abbey's in New Hampshire, you want to come up for a cigar? Toby doesn't answer. BARTLET The day's over, Toby. We'll live to fight another one. Come up, and I'll beat your ass at chess. TOBY Are you baiting me, Mr. President? BARTLET Yes. TOBY [beat] Okay. Toby follows the President out. BARTLET [calling ahead] If anyone's out there, I'm signing off. Have a good night. The President opens the outside door and they leave. The Agent on the other side closes it. A guy turns off the lights and closes the Oval Office. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 2.6 -- "The Lame Duck Congress" Original Air Date: November 8, 2000, 9:00 PM EST Transcript by: Rose Williams May 28, 2003