A situation in a thoroughly unimportant country on the other side of the world has the President and his staff re-writing his Inauguration address on the eve of his swearing-in as tensions between the White House and the Pentagon mount and the staff is stunned by the betrayal of one of their own. The first of a two-parter.
THE WEST WING "INAUGURATION PART I" TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN STORY BY: MICHAEL OATES PALMER & WILLIAM SIND DIRECTED BY: CHRISTOPHER MISIANO TEASER FADE IN: INT. CAPITOL BUILDING - DAY UNITED STATES CAPITOL SUNDAY INAUGURATION DAY Bartlet is walking with Ed, Larry and several aids through the lobby when C.J. approaches him. C.J. Good morning, Mr. President. BARTLET Why are they talking to me about the order of the balls? C.J. Political Affairs thinks it's important. LARRY They'd like you to start with the Plain States, followed by the Rust Belt Ball, then the one from the Pacific Northwest. ED It shows you're President of the whole country. C.J. Aren't we about to demonstrate that pretty clearly right now? ED He could start with the New Hampshire ball. LARRY Make it clear he knows where he came from. C.J. The President has a driver's license. LARRY What if he starts with all the states where jobs are in decline-- make it clear our message is the economy. BARTLET Well, that's only going to be clear if we also hand out decoder rings. Listen, it's an Inauguration Ball. Let's enjoy ourselves. ED and LARRY Yes, sir. BARTLET Thanks, ladies and gentlemen. LARRY Knock 'em dead, sir. ED Game on, sir. Ed, Larry and the rest of the staff depart. C.J. Actually, it's eight Inauguration Balls. BARTLET You read it? C.J. Every draft all night long. BARTLET You haven't weighed in. C.J. leans over and kisses him on the cheek. C.J. I just did. Anything else, sir? BARTLET No. C.J. starts to walk away, but yells back. C.J. Eat 'em up, Chief. BARTLET Thank you, Claudia. Bartlet walks into GREEN ROOM where he spots Josh. BARTLET Josh. JOSH It's leaked. BARTLET How much? JOSH Just buzz. They know there's a restatement of foreign objectives. They know the committee chairmen haven't been consultated. BARTLET Yeah. JOSH They know it changed a lot overnight. BARTLET Well, their curiosity will be slacked in about 41 minutes. Listen. JOSH Yes, sir? BARTLET I have a problem. JOSH Well, you're about to propose the most massive shift in foreign policy since the Marshall Plan, and it's going to be wildly unpopular. BARTLET All right, two problems. JOSH Yes, sir. BARTLET I don't have a bible. JOSH What do you mean? BARTLET I kept changing my mind all week on which bible I wanted to use, and then I finally settled on the George Washington Bible but we ran into a problem with the New York Freemasons, which we don't have time to get into. JOSH The Freemasons? BARTLET Yeah. Charlie's out hunting one down, but he's not back yet. JOSH You know, there's nothing that says you have to be sworn in on a bible. BARTLET Is that true? JOSH You can be sworn in on a Sports Illustrated swimsuit Issue. BARTLET You think that's a good idea? JOSH No. BARTLET You sure? JOSH I'll find Charlie. BARTLET Thanks. JOSH We're right next to you, sir. Knock 'em all down. BARTLET Thank you. Bartlet walks into an even larger green room, while Josh turns around and walks out of the SMALLER GREEN ROOM where he meets Leo at the door. LEO Nice suit. JOSH Hey, Leo, can you tell me anything about what happened to Jack Reese? LEO The President asked him to get a Forced Depletion Report under the radar. JOSH On Khundu? LEO Yeah. JOSH And someone found out. LEO Hutchinson. It was my fault. Which doesn't excuse... JOSH I don't excuse it. LEO I don't know how she could do that, I really don't. I mean I don't want to talk about it now, but do you suppose her timing could have been any worse? JOSH I told her all that in no uncertain terms. LEO I'll be telling it to her, too. JOSH She knows. LEO Good. JOSH She's not here. I can't find her. I don't think she's coming. I'll find out where Charlie is. Josh walks away. Leo enters GREEN ROOM and a man walks up to him. SENATOR BECKWITH Leo. LEO Yes, sir. BECKWITH I know you've been under ground all night but, uh... there's a rumor that the President's contemplating a new doctrine for the use of force. LEO The President's nothing if not contemplative, Senator. The man makes the Prince of Denmark seem reactionary. BECKWITH No, I mean that he's going to talk about it right now. LEO He's the Commander-in-Chief. He's going to reserve the right to, you know, command. Leo walks away and enters into the LARGER GREEN ROOM where Bartlet and a host of other people are. O'DONELL Leo. LEO Mr. Leader. O'DONELL The Hill's going to go crazy. LEO For a refreshing change of pace. O'DONELL I've assured a dozen members that the White House wouldn't act without us. LEO Then you're all set. There's cheese over there. Leo walks away and over to where Bartlet is standing talking to men in uniform. When Leo walks up, the men leave. LEO Hello. BARTLET Hi. LEO You know, I saw the dress that Abbey's wearing tonight. BARTLET Yeah, I may need to get a room. LEO Do you know it's leaked? BARTLET No kidding. In the last two minutes, three people have reminded me what Jefferson said in his Inaugural. LEO "Peace, commerce, honest frienship with all nations and entangling alliances with none." BARTLET The problem is that when he said it, your best chance of getting entangled with an ally was by rowboat. LEO Yeah. BARTLET Charlie's here. Charlie comes running up. CHARLIE Sir. Charlie hands Bartlet a bible. BARTLET Thank you. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Bartlet opens the bible and reads the inside. BARTLET Donnie's Motel? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET They didn't have one in the House Library? CHARLIE This is the one from the House Library. BARTLET Okay. The Chief Justice walks up. CHIEF JUSTICE Mr. President. BARTLET Mr. Chief Justice. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. PRESS BRIEFING ROOM - DAY Bartlet is standing at the podium. C.J. That's when the Chief Justice will ask you to raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible. BARTLET What do I do then? C.J. You raise your right hand and put your left hand on the Bible. MONDAY MORNING SIX DAYS BEFORE INAUGURATION BARTLET And will there be someone who'll tell me when it's time to do that? C.J. You mock me? BARTLET I do. May I continue? C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET [to prompter operator] Can we pull foreign policy up on the prompter? TOBY 144 on the prompter, please. It's going to take a second. Toby is reading a piece of paper and laughs to himself. BARTLET [to Toby] What's going on? TOBY The Chief Justice-- wrote a dissenting opinion in Sea Northern v. Arizona, saying that an association between asbestos and a higher risk of cancer in later life was insufficient to merit relief. BARTLET So what? TOBY He... [chuckles] I don't know how to say this. He wrote it in meter. BARTLET A meter? TOBY He wrote a dissenting opinion in what I am almost certain is trochiac tetrometer. Will? WILL It is. BARTLET What are you talking about? TOBY He starts in the fourth graph. Toby walks up to the podium and hands the paper to Bartlet. BARTLET "Fear of cancer from asbestos, fuzzy science manifestos." TOBY A guy just faxed this to Will. BARTLET Which one's Will? Toby points to Will standing in the back of the room. TOBY He is. Will raises his hand. TOBY It's a loud syllable followed by a soft syllable, which is a trochaic foot, then there's four per comma, which is tetrameter. C.J. You think he's trying to tell us something through code? TOBY 144's on the prompter, sir. BARTLET "America cannot be the world's policeman. America cannot enforce its own values, its own standards across the world. Yet when it's in our clear an vital interests..." We're being candid at least. TOBY This is State Department language. BARTLET No kidding. Look, I understand I present a uniform gap, but I want to mean what I say. TOBY Will, you're going to meet with my counterpart, the State Department Communications Director. He likes to have input into foreign policy language. WILL Isn't he going to be insulted that he's meeting with someoone he's never heard of, who isn't a White House staffer? TOBY I would really think so. LEO That's all. Thank you. The staffers exit. Bartlet and Leo walk out into the HALLWAY. BARTLET The Chief Justice wrote a poem. LEO He's trying to get the Court to adopt powdered wigs. BARTLET What do you mean? LEO Exactly what I said. BARTLET Powdered wigs? LEO Like the British magistrates. I'm telling you, I think there might be a problem. BARTLET You think he stayed to long at the fair? LEO He's not a young man. BARTLET Neither am I. LEO This is what I'm talking about. They stop in front of LEO'S OFFICE. BARTLET This foreign policy language is ridiculous. LEO It'll get fixed. BARTLET What's going on in Khundu? LEO Yeah. BARTLET I got a short security cable this morning about civil unrest in the Republic of Equatorial Khundu, and I had to reach for an atlas. LEO Near the Ivory Coast. BARTLET I know that now. LEO The government forces run by the Arkutu have apparently killed as many as 200 Induye on the streets of Bitanga, which is the capitol. BARTLET Two warring tribes? LEO Well, no, one tribes warring, and the other one's getting killed. But the point is we got about 500 American missionaries. BARTLET They're being evacuated? LEO Yes, sir. BARTLET Okay. Thank you. Leo walks into his office and Charlie and Jed walk into THE OVAL OFFICE. Will is following behind them. CHARLIE Mr. President, I'm sorry to bother you about this. BARTLET Yeah? CHARLIE Mr. Hollowman says if you want to use the Goerge Washington Bible, they need some time to get it here. BARTLET From where? CHARLIE The Freemason's have the Washington Bible. BARTLET They do? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET And they need several days notice? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Why? CHARLIE I don't know, sir. BARTLET Are they not sure where it is? CHARLIE Should I tell Mr. Hollowman you're using it? BARTLET I'm going to be using the Bartlet Bible. That's at the New Hampshire Historical Society. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Charlie exits and Bartlet notices Will standing in his office. BARTLET Yes. WILL Sir, just to be clear... You're hoping that there can be a broader definition of "vital interests." BARTLET Hoping beyond hope. WILL Thank you, sir. Will starts to walk out, but when he gets to the door, he turns around. WILL There's a... partnership, sir, that can develop between someone and his speechwriter. It happens over time. You get to know just where he likes his commas and why he says self-government instead of governement. Why he doesn't like the word "implement" but does like the word "obfuscate". Like jazz musicians... BARTLET I can't remember your name, but are you asking me out on a date? WILL No, sir. It happens over time. BARTLET Okay. WILL Thank you, Mr. President. Will exits into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. WILL Charlie, do you happen to know if the New Hampshire State House has the Governor Bartlet's public statements? CHARLIE They do. WILL Any chance you could help me get them? CHARLIE Yeah, it's not a problem. Will starts to walk out, but turns around. WILL And copies of his floor speeches from the House? CHARLIE I can also send a couple of people to the Library of Congress... WILL Everything he's ever said out loud in his life? CHARLIE Yeah. WILL Thank you. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY Josh is sitting at his desk working on the computer, when Donna knocks on the doorframe and enters carrying a white envelope. JOSH Yeah. DONNA Tickets came. JOSH For? DONNA The balls. JOSH Could you hang onto mine for me till Sunday? DONNA Yeah. JOSH Thanks. DONNA You know what Jack will be wearing? A saber. JOSH God, Donna, please tell me that's not going to be the only thing he's wearing. DONNA No, he'll be wearing his dress blues. Warfare pin, Submarine Officer pin, two commendation medals, meritorious unit, Purple Heart, Bronze Cross and a saber. JOSH I'll be wearing a tuxedo from Gary's. Who's been on the phone? DONNA Confused people from the State Department. JOSH They decided to change the foreign policy language 20 minutes ago. How do they know already? DONNA They wanted to know why their Public Affairs Director was asked to meet with Will Bailey. JOSH The President's asked Toby and Will to look at the language. DONNA Okay. JOSH Keep the President out of it. I've asked Toby and Will to look at the language. DONNA All right. JOSH Thanks. DONNA 13 buttons on the trousers. JOSH [with an overly sweet smile] I don't want to know how you know that. Donna smiles at Josh then walks out of his office. Josh continues to stare after her until she turns a corner. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY Bartlet is attending a prayer breakfast. The room is full of various clerical people. They are standing around tables which are set with paltes of food, while a Cardinal says a prayer. CARDINAL PATRICK Heavenly Father, assist with your spirit of counsel and fortitude the President of the Untied states, that his administration may be conducted in righteousness, and be eminently useful to your people over whom he presides. And we ask this morning for the safe evacuation of the 500 American missionaries and their children in the Republic of Equatorial Khundu and for the people of Khundu, where horrible violence has broken out. We pray to you, who are Lord our God, forever and ever. Amen. ALL Amen. They all sit and begin to eat breakfast. ARCHBISHOP ZAKE KINTAKA Patrick, you may pray all you wish, but thousands upon thousands African children will die unnless the U.S. intervenes. Tens of thousand of Khundunese children and their parents slaughtered. PATRICK Well, I don't control the armed forces, Zake. BARTLET No, he was talking to me, your Eminence. [to Zake] Your Excellency, I got a very sketchy intelligence report on the violence in the capitol about an hour ago. ZAKE The violence isn't limited to Bitanga, sir. It's spread to the countryside. BARTLET I didn't know that. ZAKE May I ask you something, sir, with all due respect, please? BARTLET Yes. ZAKE If mass genocide had broken out in a small European country, would your intelligence briefing this morning have been quite so sketchy? BARTLET No. ZAKE I join my colleagues in their prayers for the safe evacuation of the Americans. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. WILL'S OFFICE - DAY Will is sitting at his desk when Bonnie knocks on the door and enters. BONNIE Okay, Will, you ready? This is Assistant Secretary of State for Public Affairs, Bryce Lilly. WILL Thank you. BRYCE LILLY enters Will's office. WILL Mr. Secretary. BRYCE LILLY Bailey? WILL Will Bailey, yes, sir. BRYCE You... are young. WILL Uh, thank you. Have a seat please. BRYCE Thank you. They sit. WILL How long have you been in Public Affairs at State? BRYCE Under the last three Presidents. WILL You worked for both parties. BRYCE You know the difference? Republicans want a huge military but they don't want to send it anywhere. The Democrats wants a small military and they want to send it everywhere. WILL Yes, I've heard that. BRYCE Actually, when I heard the name Bailey, I got a chill in my occipital, a Pavlovian reaction from when I used to have run-ins with a General Tom Bailey at the home store in Brussels. Any relation? WILL A little bit. He's my father. BRYCE Really? WILL Yes, sir. BRYCE How long have you been with the NSC? WILL I'm not. BRYCE How long have you been White House Senior Staff? WILL Oh, no, I'm not that either. I'm on a three-week contract with the DNC to work on the Inauguration speech. BRYCE Son, I'm an Assistant Secretary. WILL For Public Affairs. Which makes you just the person I need to speak to. The President is troubled by some of the language... BRYCE Then this should been taken up between myself and Toby Zeigler. WILL I hope you don't mind. Toby's asked me to speak to you. BRYCE What are the concerns? WILL "America stands alone as the indispensable nation-- a force for peace, freedom and prosperity on all corners of the globe." BRYCE But that's almost exactly what we wrote. WILL No, that is exactly what you wrote. I'm quoting the State Department text. BRYCE You memorized it? It was 1,200 words. WILL I'm pretty sure it was 1,123. BRYCE What's his concern? WILL Well, I'm suppose to begin with-- and this neither here nor there-- but globes don't have corners. BRYCE If this is about style and not substance... WILL No, it's about substance. BRYCE We've been over this long before you got here, and I imagine we'll keep on going over it long after your three weeks are done. This White House has to be careful about the use of force. It's a hostile Congress. WILL Well, personally, I'd have no problem using force on Congress, but that's not my call. BRYCE This President can't write himself a blank check when it comes to foreign policy. Especially this President. WILL Especially this President. BRYCE That's right. WILL Because of the Clause in Article One that says not every President gets the full powers of Commander-in-Chief? BRYCE Are you rewriting the section? WILL Yes, sir. BRYCE Dramatically? WILL Well, I like to think I have a certain flair. BRYCE I mean significantly. WILL That's what the President is looking for, sir. BRYCE In consultation with State? WILL That's entirely up to Toby. BRYCE Thank you, sir. [stands] Apparently, I'm not done with the Baileys. Bryce Lilly exits. WILL Apparently not... you effete... BANG! There's a loud thud on the window. Will gets up and sees Toby throwing a ball against the window that separates their offices. Will walks into TOBY'S OFFICE. WILL What are you doing? TOBY I throw a rubber ball against the window, that means you come to me. WILL Really? TOBY As my frustration level grows, so does the velocity of the ball against the window. WILL I just told Bryce Lilly. TOBY Good. WILL [pointing to boxes piled on Toby's desk] What's in there? TOBY Did you ask for transcripts of public remarks from Manchester? WILL Yes. TOBY That's what they are. WILL Okay. TOBY And the 14 other cartoons outside. WILL Okay. TOBY So we're dumping State's language? WILL Yes. TOBY Which means we'll need some of our own. WILL Yes. TOBY I'm talking to myself right now, so there's no reason for you to be answering. WILL Is there a reason for me to be standing here? TOBY No. WIll exits Toby's office. Toby starts to throw the ball at the window again but stops. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet is sitting in a chair reading. Charlie knocks and enters. CHARLIE Sir? BARTLET Yeah? CHARLIE Mr. Cravenly, the Director of Special Collections at the New Hampshire Historical Society, just phoned about the Bartlet Bible. BARTLET And? CHARLIE You can't use it. BARTLET I can't? CHARLIE It needs to be in a climate-controlled vault or it warps. BARTLET Just as the disciples intended. CHARLIE He suggested the Jefferson Bible. BARTLET The Jefferson bible doesn't warp? CHARLIE I think it does, and being from new Hampshire, he just didn't care. BARTLET Probably. Speaking of New Hampshire, don't I own the Bartlet Bible? CHARLIE It was sold at auction. BARTLET I know. I bought it. CHARLIE And you donated to the New Hampshire Historical Society. BARTLET And they won't loan it back to me so that I can be inaugurated? CHARLIE Mr. Cravenly felt bad about that. BARTLET Yeah. His name is really Mr. Cravenly? You're not making that up? CHARLIE No, sir. Bertram Cravenly. BARTLET Okay, would you tell him that I'd like very much to use my family's Bible, which my family has bought at least twice now. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET You know, a couple hundred people got killed today in Khundu. CHARLIE Yeah, I saw, Mr. President. BARTLET The Arkutu control the government and they're killing... CHARLIE Yeah, I saw. The Americans got out? BARTLET I'm sorry? CHARLIE We got the Americans out? BARTLET Yeah, mm-hmm. CHARLIE Anything else, sir? BARTLET No. CHARLIE Thank you, sir. Charlie starts to walk out, but Bartlet calls back. BARTLET Yeah. Ask Bob Slattery to come over here. CHARLIE Yes, sir. CUT TO: INT. PRESS BREIFING ROOM - DAY C.J. At that time, the Chief Justice will ask the President to raise his right hand and place his left hand on the Bible. REPORTER MARK C.J.? C.J. Yeah? REPORTER MARK And what will the President do then? C.J. Okay. Katie? REPORTER KATIE Will the President be asked to swear an oath of any kind? C.J. Well, I guess we'll find out six days from now, but thank you to the Smothers Brothers. Laughter. C.J. Good night. REPORTERS Thank you, C.J. C.J. exits into the HALLWAY. Carol approaches C.J. and they do a walk- and-talk. C.J. doesn't notice that Danny is following behind them. CAROL C.J., Danny wanted to see you for a second. C.J. No way. CAROL Well... C.J. Stop trying to get us together, okay? If I wanted Danny, I could have him. And he's still a jackass from the foreign Ops vote and many other things, so tell him I'm getting my hair done. DANNY Your hair looks great. C.J. There was no way you could tell me he was right behind me? You couldn't fit that in? CAROL Sorry. C.J. [to Danny] In here. They go into C.J.'S OFFICE. C.J. Yes? DANNY My signal agent's missing, the cricket player. C.J. How... DANNY I tried his house. The phone's disconneted. The airstrip won't give me information, neither will the landlord, except he just signed a new two-year lease two weeks ago. C.J. How do you know? DANNY Because I do. C.J. If I help you find the cricket player, you'll consider it a favor and not the White House cooperating with your story? DANNY I would never think the White House is cooperating with me. C.J. Thank you. DANNY Can I just ask? What is it you'd do exactly to have me? C.J. Is there anything else? DANNY No. C.J. Good. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet is at his desk reading. Charlie knocks and enters. CHARLIE Sir? Mr. Slattery. BARTLET Yeah. BOB "BOBBY" SLATTERY [NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR] Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Bobby, what's going on? BOB Intelligence is thin outside Bitanga. In fact, the Archbishop's network of clerics is probably as good as it gets. BARTLET The Catholic Church has better intelligence than we do? BOB It's a very small embassy, maybe ten people. And no Agency presence. BARTLET None? BOB No, sir. BARTLET How many are dead right now? BOB We have no way of knowing. BARTLET Estimate. BOB Could be as many as 5,000. BARTLET Bobby, I don't want to make noise but I want to see a forced depletion report. I want to know how many we'd lose and I want to do it without going three rounds in the newspaper with Miles Hutchison. Who do we have at the Pentagon who could do this for us? BOB Jack Reese, Nancy's aid. BARTLET You trust him? BOB I do. BARTLET Tell him I want to see forced depletion on a peacekeeping force in Khundu. And tell him we'll do our best to keep it away from the Secretary's office. BOB He won't need to hear the second part, sir. You just gave him an order. BARTLET Thank you. BOB Thank you, Mr. President. CUT TO: INT. PRESS BRIEFNG ROOM - DAY TUESDAY C.J. First things first. We're going to have to learn how to pronounce it. I learned it as "Kuhn-doo." The Republic of Equatorial Khundu. REPORTER MARK C.J.? C.J. Mark. REPORTER MARK There are reports that the Arkutu government issued identification tags. C.J. We don't know. MARK I mean, stating whether a Khundunese is Arkutu or Induye. C.J. We don't know. Danny? DANNY Archbishop Kintaka, who was coincidentally in the White House yesterday for a prayer breakfast, said the government's using the radio to direct mobs. Does the White House know anything about that? C.J. Well, I don't. DANNY Apparently, one of the Bishop's had provided refuge to about 800 Induye in his church. When the radio station in Bitanga heard about it, they directed a mob. They had machetes, they sent them to the church... C.J. Did they...? DANNY They hacked up all 800. C.J. No, I didn't know that. DANNY Apparently, every broadcast ends with the word "Krawala." C.J. It means "cleanse." DANNY Yeah. So I guess my question is, is the President going to send U.S. troops in to knock this off? C.J. The White House is monitering the situation very carefully. DANNY I can tell. C.J. Katie. KATIE State Department estimates yesterday put the dead at anywhere between 3,000 and 7,000. Are there revised estimates today? C.J. 15,000. Sheila? CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY Josh has his feet proped up on the desk reading when Donna knocks on the doorframe and enters. JOSH Yep? DONNA What's up? JOSH Hmm? DONNA I just said, "What's up?" What are you doing? JOSH Wondering whether the Nuclear regulatory Commission really needs $100,000 for a "morale improvement program." It's got to be a pretty critical lap dance. DONNA I went down to Jack's office last night and he was using the NSC lock on the door, which he never has before. JOSH Did you knock? DONNA Yeah. JOSH And? DONNA He let me in. JOSH That's a good story. DONNA I wanted to make plans for getting together around midnight, and he said he couldn't 'cause it'll be morning where he needs to talk to some people. JOSH Donna... DONNA What's halfway around the world? JOSH Most of the homes and offices of the people who live on this planet. DONNA He had a fax from the Commader of the Seventh Fleet about forward units in the North Atlantic and Mediterranean. JOSH What's he doing showing you a fax from the Commander of the Seventh Fleet? DONNA Showing off for me. JOSH Fantastic. DONNA He wasn't showing me a classified signal intercept. JOSH How do you know what he was showing you? DONNA I don't. He does. Is a joint task force being assembled... JOSH Are you serious with these questions? DONNA He's been sealed off for almost 24 hours, and everything strikes me as strange. JOSH Then let it strike you that way, and please find out what they mean by "morale improvement program" so I can get back to-- you know-- actual people. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Charlie is at Bartlet desks fixing papers, when Bartlet enters from the portico. BARTLET Hey, I changed my mind about the Bible. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET I don't know. I never... it just seems parochial. I hate saying that. CHARLIE I understand. BARTLET There's a Bible in North Hampton, Masachusetts, that Johnathon Edwards used. Let's get that. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Leo enters from his office. Charlie exits. LEO Good morining, Mr. President. BARTLET "Grace is but glory begun and glory is but grace perfected." I made my Bible selection. LEO Listen to this, please. The Supreme Court is striking down the use of prior offenses as a factor in Stiles v. Rhode Island. The Chief Justice writes a concurring opinion: "Guilty or not guilty, past convictions frustrate the judge who wonders should your fate abate." BARTLET It's awkwardly worded. LEO No, it's not. it's 22 syllables. BARTLET Oh, God. LEO Two, four, six, eight. Two. And it's suppose to sound like this: "Guilty, or not guilty, past convictions frustrate, the judge who wonders should your fate, abate." It's a cinquain. BARTLET A what? LEO Cinquain. BARTLET How do you know? LEO I know things. And I'm worried about the Chief Justice. BARTLET And I'm worried about the White House making that suggestion. LEO He's writing in verse, plus the powdered wigs. BARTLET Wasn't that a rumor? LEO Yes. BARTLET All right, listen. I've asked for a forced depletion report on action in Khundu. LEO Who'd you ask? BARTLET Slatterly got Jack Reese. LEO What'd it say? BARTLET The best scenario is that simply by engaging, the Arkutu lay down their weapons, but that doesn't seem likey, so we'd lose people. LEO Yeah. BARTLET More if they go into the countryside. LEO What do you expect? BARTLET Yeah. LEO Toby's working on new policy language. BARTLET I'm sorry? LEO I say Toby's working on new foreign policy language. BARTLET Good. LEO Can I see the report? BARTLET You should. Bartlet hands the report to Leo. LEO Thank you. CUT TO: INT. WILL'S OFFICE - DAY Will is talking to his sister Elsie who is sitting on a table. WILL He led an unsuccessful court case to block all federal death penalties as violating the Equal Protection Clause. ELSIE Why? WILL 'Cause ferdal law applies to almost nowhere but Indian reservations. ELSIE Hmm. WILL This is the best. Congress will never create real campaign reform because they're the ones who have to run in elections, so he proposed legislation that would grandfather it in 30 years. Toby enters. TOBY What are you doing? WILL Familiarizing myself with his tone. TOBY You're not thinking about policy language? WILL I'm doing both. TOBY Because we have five days. ELSIE He knows, and I can confirm that he's thinking and familiaring himself simultaneously. TOBY You really comfortable going through life with a name like Elsie Snuffin? ELSIE I've never been comforable, but I'm not sure it's because of my name. TOBY Well, the idea isn't going to walk in here and announce itself as being important and take a place on the top of the pile. WILL I understand. INTERN STACY Excuse me, Will. This is from the Congressional Reasearch Service. It's an old Bartlet speech on foreign policy. WILL Why wasn't it in the original? STACY It was stricken from the Congressional Record at the Presidents request. Should I place it here on top of this pile? WILL No, I'll take that. Will takes the speech from Stacy. He looks up at Toby who smiles. TOBY Yeah. Toby exits. Will sits down, opens the speech and begins to read. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Will is reading Toby passages from the speech that Stacy dropped off to him. Elsie is also in the room. WILL "America needs a new doctrine for a new century..." TOBY Mr. Bailey... WILL "...based not just on our interest, but on our values, across the world." TOBY Define those values for me, please. WILL I don't have to. The President of the United States already has. "We are for freedom of speech everywhere. Freedom to worship everywhere. Freedom to learn for every child." TOBY Just out of curiosity, how are you going to enforce a universal global right to education? ELSIE The same way the U.S. enforced anything it wanted in the middle part of the 20th century. Somebody called our father. TOBY What exactly are you doing here, anyway? ELSIE The First Lady likes my jokes. TOBY Excellent. WILL "It is our duty to give more than merely our support. We must give our strength diplomatically, materially.... WILL and TOBY "And if need be, militarily." TOBY I read it, I think, 16 years ago. It was about El Salvador and he had it stricken from the record and there was a reason. WILL What? TOBY I don't know, but things have reasons. WILL Do they? TOBY Yes, they do. WILL Okay, but C.J. this morning put the body count at 15,000. TOBY You're talking about Khundu? That's what the hell this is about? WILL We're talking about everything. "And freedom from the tyranny of oppression, economic slavery, religious fanaticism." Tell me if any of these describe anyone we know. TOBY This isn't what I meat by drafting new language. WILL What did you mean? TOBY Making the old language sound better. You're asking the two of us to create foreign policy by ourselves. That's usually not a good idea. You've got your Pentagon, the NSC and-- what do you call it?-- the State Department. WILL You and Leo McGarry and Josh are his senior counselors and it's not like he doesn't already want to go there. TOBY This language proposes a new doctrine for the use of force. That we use force whenever we see an injustice we want to correct. Like Mother Theresa with first-strike capabilities. WILL Damn right. TOBY Oh, you've had too many dinners with daddy. Please go back to finding new language for the foreign section! WILL Yeah, I should. Will starts to walk out, but turns back around. WILL I'm only working here another four days. TOBY But what? WILL He'd do a radio address proposing free liposuction to every child of woman born if you wrote it for him. TOBY You're wrong. And if he did, I'd be fired shortly thereafter. WILL Maybe, but ten pounds lighter. Will walks out. Elsie remains in his office and Toby looks at her. TOBY [to Elsie] You go back to doing whatever it is you do. CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - DAY WEDNESDAY Charlie is escorting a group of people into the West Wing. They are carrying a table that has something on it, but it's covered with a red cloth. CHARLIE We'll bring it to the Blue Room and let the President look at it there. ADAM KENT Very well. Bartlet comes walking into the Lobby and spots Charlie. BARTLET Hey, is this it? CHARLIE Yes, sir. This is Adam Kent from the Johnathon Edwards Historical Foundation. BARTLET Good to meet you. ADAM But we've meet before. BARTLET Of course. ADAM And this, sir, is the John Edwards Bible. Adam pulls back the red cloth revealing an extremely large bible. BARTLET This? ADAM Yes, sir. BARTLET It's huge. ADAM Well, it ought to be. BARTLET Actually, it can't be. ADAM It's a pullpit folio, obviously from a time when portability was not an issue and illuminations add pages as well as heft. Also, it's written in four languages. BARTLET The First Lady has to hold this in her hand. This one's going to take the First Lady, the Chief Justice and the Second Circuit Court of Appeals. ADAM Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic and English. BARTLET Okay... Mr. Carlton? ADAM Kent. BARTLET Sorry. Thanks. Charlie's going to take care of you. [to Charlie] Charlie, that Bible's the size of a Volkswagon. Can we get the Washington Bible? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Thank you. CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY DIRECTOR 1 At 900 hours we're running the field tests of the next generation predator. Specifically, that's the new night vision capabilities at Camp Red Cloud in Uijongbu City. LEO Okay. Europe? DIRECTOR 2 INTEL's reporting potential Basque terrorist plots in Spain. LEO State's going to issue an alert? DIRECTOR 2 Yeah, and DCI's liaising with Guradi Civil. DIRECTOR 3 And there's a border dispute between Lithuania and Belarus. LEO Okay, thanks. They all get up to exit. LEO Miles? [waits for everyone to exit] What's the general thinking in Khundu? MILES HUTCHINSON That we should support all the international diplomatic efforts to.... You know the U.N.'s already made overtures to the Arkutu. LEO That's what's happening at the State Department. I want to know what's happening at Central Command. HUTCHINSON If you mean militarily, we're going to want to supply the bordering countries. LEO That's not what I mean. We're getting INTEL that isn't making it onto CNN, but that's a matter of a couple of hours. Truly horrible accounts of mass slaughtering... HUTCHINSON Leo... LEO ...that should make us at least want to investigate whether there's a genocide. HUTCHINSON Lee lost 10,000 at Gettysberg, didn't make it genocide. LEO Okay, so I'll go to the President with it. HUTCHINSON In our case, we'd lose closer to a thousand, which is pretty stupid. Magnificently so when we realize we're talking about a guy who's never led an army. LEO A] The guy is the President. B] He's been leading one for 3 years, 51 weeks and three days. How much more training would you like him to have? And C] It's not a thousand. We saw a forced depletion report, it's 150. HUTCHINSON You saw a forced depletion report? LEO Yes. HUTCHINSON How did he see a forced depletion report? LEO Look, from time to time, just to expedite things, Nancy will print... HUTCHINSON Nancy's out of the country. It was a raid. LEO The guy was following a direct order. HUTCHINSON I have no doubt he was. That's my problem, Leo. LEO I don't give a damn what.... HUTCHINSON What? LEO I said I don't give a damn what your problem is, Miles. The man wants to know if he sends troops, how many are going to die. HUTCHINSON And if he wants to see forced depletion, he asks me. LEO He asks you and three days mange to go by before he sees it, Mr. Secretary. Yet miraculously, the Wall Street Journal, on day two, the numbers inflated all to hell. It's 150, not a thousand. HUTCHINSON And that's accecptable to you in Khundu? LEO I don't know what you mean when you say "in Khundu." Nah... yeah, I do. HUTCHINSON Go to hell. LEO Okay. Hutchinson exits. Leo gathers up his papers and out of frustration throws them down on the desk knocking over a glass of water. He throws his hands up then picks up the now empty glass. CUT TO: INT. WILL'S OFFICE - DAY Will is sitting at his desk. Bartlet enters and knocks on the doorframe. WILL [not looking up] Keep your pants on, Toby, I'm almost there. BARTLET Toby been taking his pants off again? That's just something he does. WILL [looks up, then stands] Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET How's it going? WILL Fine, sir. BARTLET Good. WILL No, it's not. BARTLET Yeah. What's hard is that foreign policy has become a statement of what we won't do. WILL Yes, sir. Bartlet picks up the speech off of Will's desk. BARTLET "A new doctrine for a new century, based not just on our interests, but on our values across the world." Well, that's pretty spicey stuff. WILL You wrote it, sir. BARTLET Yeah, I know. Why is a Khundunese life worth less to me than an American life? WILL I don't know, sir, but it is. BARTLET That was ballsy. WILL I won't be working here long. BARTLET You Tom Bailey's son? WILL Yes, sir. BARTLET Talk about the very model of a modern Major General. WILL Yes, sir. Bartlet exits. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is in her office. Carol can be heard over the PA system. CAROL [on PA] Ladies and genlemen, the briefing's about to begin. Please take your seats, the briefing's about to begin. C.J. walks into the HALLWAY where Danny calls out ot her. DANNY C.J.... C.J. I found your ramp signal agent. DANNY Me too. He took a job in an airport in the Cooperatve Republic of Guyana. That's where you're sending people? C.J. We don't send anyone anywhere who doesn't work for us, but I understand he's gotten a salary-bump and he's co-captian of a local cricket team. DANNY I called him. C.J. And? DANNY He doesn't remember me. Then he does, but he doesn't remember anything about an airstrip. He does, but he doesn't remember anything about not getting in. C.J. Mystery solved. DANNY C.J. C.J. Come here. C.J takes Danny into what looks like a COPIER ROOM and closes the door. C.J. This is ridiculous. It's been ridiculous ever since you came back. DANNY What? C.J. Would you mind if I turned out the lights? DANNY No. C.J. turns off the lights. C.J. It's just easier this way. For three years I have been thinking about what might have been if it weren't.... DANNY Yeah? C.J. ...for the conflict. DANNY Yeah? C.J. And I'm almost over it. I mean, I am right there and you come back with scruffy face and your jokes and your incredible talent and your way of getting at... getting at me. And I was thinking if we could... DANNY Be adult? C.J. runs her wrist by Danny's nose. C.J. Do you like this perfume? DANNY Yeah. C.J. Do you like this blouse? DANNY What's gotten into you? She opens her blouse a little bit. C.J. Do you? DANNY Yeah. C.J. Come here. Danny's hesitant at first, but he gives in and comes to her. He leans in and is about to kiss her when C.J. interrupts. C.J. Remember when you asked me what exactly I'd do to have you? By now, C.J. is right up against Danny with her hands stroking up and down his chest. She's has his face in her hands as if she's about to kiss him. DANNY Yeah. C.J. I'd do that. C.J. grabs her folder and walks out of the room leaving Danny standing there. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS C.J. is about to walk in the PRESS ROOM when a man walks up to her and hands her a piece of paper. C.J. Good evening. I have revised estimates for Khundu. We said 15,000 yesterday. Intelligence reports are putting it closer to 25... 25,000. The reporters start to shout out C.J.'s name. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY The TV is tuned to the breifing bring held. C.J. [on TV] Mark? REPORTER MARK [on TV] Is the White House being careful not to call this a genocide? Josh walks into the room where Charlie is reading papers. JOSH Hey. CHARLIE Hey. JOSH He in? CHARLIE In a minute. He's got a security briefing. JOSH What's that? CHARLIE It's a seating chart for the Inauguration. JOSH You're sitting with us in the staff section. CHARLIE Yeah, I'm looking for someone else. JOSH Would it be weird if I just walked around with a military dress saber? CHARLIE Mm-hmm. JOSH Okay. He's in a security briefing? CHARLIE I'll let him know you're here. JOSH Navy dress uniform has 13 buttons on the pants. I mean, traditions tradition, but I'd be concerned about the level of bladder discipline that requires, wouldn't you? CHARLIE What? JOSH Nothing. Charlie puts on his jacket and goes to get Bartlet. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSELVELT ROOM - DAY Bartlet and various other Directors are in the room holding a meeting. MAN 1 King Nawa of Bhutan died. BARTLET We'll send condolences. What's next? MAN 1 The new king is Yeshey Pradhan Nawa. BARTLET Okay. MAN 1 He's 13 years old. BARTLET Well, if he's old enough to marry Jerry Lee Lewis, I guess he's old enough to be king of Bhutan. What's next? CLARK A detained ship 12 miles of the Port of Miami; Nigerian flag. BARTLET Coast Guards got it? CLARK Yes, sir. MAN 3 The joint training exercise has been cleared for the Black Sea and the Caspian. This is actually... BARTLET What's happening? I'm sorry, what's happening in the REK? MAN 1 The General Assembly's debating a proclamation. BARTLET Well, a proclamation ought to do the trick. What's the CIA know that I should know? CLARK Neighbors are... swapping family members. BARTLET All right, thank you. ALL Thank you, sir. Thank you, Mr. President. CHARLIE You wanted Josh? BARTLET Yeah. Hey, I changed my mind. Not the Washington Bible. They walk by the HALLWAY. CHARLIE You sure? BARTLET Yeah. CHARLIE I'm only asking 'cause they need some notice on the Washington Bible. BARTLET Yeah, I'm going to use my father's. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Bartlet knocks on Leo's door. Leo is sitting at his desk reading. LEO Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Did you talk to Hutchinson? LEO Yeah. BARTLET [to Charlie] Tell Josh I'll just be a minute, okay? CHARLIE Yes, sir. Bartlet enters LEO'S OFFICE and closes the door. BARTLET Did he tell me to shut up and let him run the Pentagon? LEO In so many words. BARTLET How many? LEO Not that many. As a matter of fact, we didn't get that far. I got Jack Reese in some trouble. BARTLET So Hutchinson know I've seen forced depletion. LEO Yeah. BARTLET He should be pissed at me, not Jack Reese. LEO He should be pissed at you? The Secretary of Defense should be pissed at... BARTLET Don't worry about it. Right? LEO Sure. No problem. BARTLET Don't worry about it. LEO Yes, sir. BARTLET Clark says neighbors are swapping family members in Khundu. LEO Really? BARTLET Also, there's a new king of Bhutan. And he's been bar mitzvaed and everything. LEO All right. BARTLET Hey, this guy you hired for the Inauguration speech gave me a little back chat a few minutes ago. LEO Bailey? BARTLET Yeah, he was using a floor speech about El Salvador I gave 98 years ago to demonstrate that the U.S. should send troops to Khundu. Rhetorically, I said, "Why is a Khundunese life worth less to me than an American life?" And he said, "I dont know, sir, but it is." LEO I'll try to get some better information. BARTLET Thank you. LEO Thank you, Mr. President. Bartlet enters THE OVAL OFFICE through Leo's office and Josh is sitting in a chair waiting for him. JOSH Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Hey, Josh. There's intelligence that Khundunese neighbors in the country are swapping family members. JOSH I'm sorry, I don't understand. BARTLET For the night, they're swapping family members you know, and sleeping in each other's houses. JOSH Yes, sir. BARTLET What's going on? JOSH You know what, nothing I can't deal with. BARTLET State? JOSH I did just get off the phone with Jeffrey Tomlinson and Bob Bibbet. BARTLET Tell them... JOSH They're under... I'm sorry, sir, they're under the impression that the entire foreign policy section is being rewritten. BARTLET It's not. JOSH I know, they just... asked me to emphasize that the current language has been vetted with the ranking members of House Armed Services. BARTLET The language is being polished. JOSH That's what I told them. They just asked me to remind you that their version also reflects existing treaties some of which.... BARTLET Some of which have my name on them. So tell Jeff Tomlison and baby Bob to take a deep knee bend, would you? I'm just as big a cotton candy ass as they are. JOSH Yes, sir. BARTLET You're just going to let that hang in the air? JOSH Of course not, sir. You're a much bigger cotton candy ass than they are. BARTLET Damn right. JOSH Anything else? BARTLET No. JOSH Thank you, Mr. President. Josh exits the Oval Office into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE where Donna is waiting. JOSH What's going on? DONNA I don't know what's going on, but Jack's been reassigned. They walk to the HALLWAY. JOSH To where? DONNA Aviano. JOSH Air Force Base? DONNA Yes. Aviano Air Force Base. JOSH When? DONNA He got his orders. JOSH What happened? DONNA I don't know. He said he was asked to do something, he did it, he got a slap on the wrist and wouldn't tell me more than that. JOSH The reality of the fast-track Navy guys is they're going to bop around the globe a lot. DONNA He was here less then three months, plus he said something happened. JOSH You can't begin to concieve of the internal politics of the Pentagon. Right now, Hutchinson and his boys... They reach JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. DONNA But he worked here. This is internal politics of the White House. JOSH Well, no one's told me about it and I'm not going to ask. DONNA He said he was asked to do something for somebody. It can only be Nancy, Leo or the President. JOSH Three doors you definitely want to knock on to complain about your boyfriend being transferred to the Italian Alps. DONNA Hey, I'm not Gidget, okay? Something... JOSH Is he complaining? DONNA He doesn't complain. JOSH I ask you that because sometimes people request transfers. DONNA Somebody asked him to do something and he did it. I take him at his word, as should you, there being no reason not to. Is there anything you need? JOSH No. DONNA Thank you, sir. Charlie walks up as Donna storms off. JOSH Jack Reese got transfered. CHARLIE Well, I've got my own Beach Boys song going. They walk inside JOSH'S OFFICE. JOSH If you tell me you got a crush on Reese... CHARLIE Jean-Pierre is sitting next to her in the friends and family section. JOSH Zoey's lover? CHARLIE It's important that you call him that? JOSH Isn't his name Jean-Paul? CHARLIE Are we going to be together on this? JOSH Yes. CHARLIE Okay. They both look a footage on the TV about Khundu. You see people marching and armed jeeps riding through the streets. JOSH Intelligence says neighbors in Khundu are sleeping in each others houses. CHARLIE What does that mena? JOSH It means they're making people in the same house rape each other on the promise their lives will be spared. CHARLIE Okay. Do you need anything? JOSH Nah. Charlie walks out as we pan down to the TV where footage of a slain child is lying in the streets. We then see footage of hundreds of dead bodies piled up on top of each other in a heap. Josh shuts off the TV. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 4.14 -- "Inauguration part 1" Original Air Date: February 5, 2003, 9:00 PM EST Transcribed by: ck1czar February 26, 2003