The Christmas Episode. A winter storm blankets the northeast as a staffer gets a surprising visit from his father and Bartlet (Martin Sheen) and Leo (John Spencer) start to hear the footsteps.
THE WEST WING "HOLY NIGHT" WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: THOMAS SCHLAMME TEASER FADE IN: EXT. STREET We pan down over the top of a building and past and apartment window where we can hear Bob Hope playing on the TV. SINGERS "Silver bells, Silver bells, Soon it will be Christmas Day..." BOB HOPE [on TV] Yes, indeed, Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. How many different meanings those two words can have. Little children yell "Merry Christmas" and words ring with excitement. A mother whispers "Merry Chrsitmas" to her baby boy..." BROOKLYN HEIGHTS CHRISTMAS EVE We pan past a bar where we can hear a woman singing jazz. We are now at street level where a sailor whistles for a cab and he and friends get in. 1954 We begin to zoom in on a car parked along side the road. The men inside are speaking Yiddish. ZEV You hear what I said? JACOB Yeah. JULIE Cole Porter is a great American songwritier for the Broadway shows. And was in a singing group at his University... but it's got a name I can't pronounce. ZEV Say it in Yiddish. JACOB What do you mean Yiddish doesn't have the word? JULIE Whiffenpoof? ZEV You been to a show? JULIE I got a record album. Julie and Zev begin to sing. JACOB Would the two of you shut up? ZEV Why do you have to be like that? His wife just had a boy, why can't he feel good? JACOB He's not in there. ZEV Jacob. He's in there. I scouted the place. JACOB All right. I'm calling Anastasia. The guy isn't in there. ZEV You don't know that. JACOB You're saying my eyes don't work? There's a phone in back of the thing, right? ZEV Yeah. JACOB You got a nickel? ZEV Yeah. JACOB Then why don't you come with me? ZEV Yeah. The men get out of the car. JACOB [to Julie] You stay here. JULIE I can come if you want. ZEV No Julie, we'll just be a minute. Jacob and Zev walk around the corner of a building. Julie walks into the middle of the street and lights a cigarette. A woman walks by pushing a baby in a stroller who is starting to cry. JULIE [to himself] Tobias. Two gunshots can be heard in the distance. Julie starts to run to the place where his friends went, but Jacob comes walking back around the corner alone. JACOB Get back in the car. JULIE Where's Zev? JACOB What can you do? JULIE What? JACOB I said what can you do? Julie and Jacob get back into the car. JACOB Jules, what did you name your son? JULIE Tobias. Little Toby. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - DAY We can hear an all mens chorus singing as the camera shoots several people walking down the portico. The doors to the outer Oval Office opens up and Dr. Keyworth walks out. We go into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE where C.J. enters and stands in the door to the Mural Room where the Whiffenpoofs are singing "Bye-bye, Blackbird". WHIFFENPOOFS "Pack up all my care and woe Here I go, singing low Bye-bye, blackbird Where somebody waits for me Sugar's sweet and so is she Bye-bye, blackbird No one here can love or understand me But, oh, what hard luck stories they all hand me Make my bed and light the light I'll arrive real late tonight Singing blackbird, bye-bye-bye And he sings his song like this: Twiddle-de-te-ta-ti Twiddle-de-te-ta-ti My little blackbird bye Skittle-ti-ti-ti Oh, how sweet is she Bye-bye, bye-bye, blackbird They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder But, oh, I hope I'll never have to wonder..." C.J. motions Carol to come to her. C.J. It's really starting to get socked in out there and I'm worried about the airports. CAROL You think they should wrap it up? C.J. Well, one more after this. CAROL I know. Aren't they great? C.J. You just want them to take you to their place and... A lusty look comes over her face. CAROL They're 20 years old, ma'am. C.J. Yes. Sing... is what I was going to say. Take you to their place and sing. Carol smirks at C.J. and walks away. WHIFFENPOOFS "Make my bed and light the light I'll be home late tonight Blackbird, bye Bye-bye-bye-bye..." C.J. walks out of the Mural Room into the HALLWAY where she runs into Leo. C.J. You should hear these guys... LEO Yeah, in a minute. [to Josh] Hey. You staying in town? JOSH No. She's meeting Jack Reese at the Washington Inn. How does he get a room at the Wash-- I can't get a room at the Washington Inn. [beat] Me? I don't know yet. What do you need? LEO Isreal's closed the Church of the Nativity. You want to believe that at Christmas? JOSH It's ironic. LEO Why? JOSH 'Cause Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room at the inn and they went to this place, which is now on Christmas-- the irony isn't self- explanatory? LEO This isn't funny. JOSH I know. LEO It's not funny. JOSH Why did they close it? LEO I don't know. Can you find out? JOSH Yeah. LEO Thank you. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE AT FREEDOM WATCH - DAY Toby and his lawyer Ron are seated at a table. There is a court reporter taking notes when Claypool begins the deposition. CLAYPOOL Good morning. This is a deposition in the matter of Laurie Milton and Citizens fo Full Disclosure v. Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia and taken at the offices of Freedom Watch. The court reporter today is Patricia Gold from the firm of Alpha Reporting. Your name is? TOBY Toby Ziegler. CLAYPOOL Is that your full name? TOBY Tobias Zachary Ziegler. CLAYPOOL Date of birth? TOBY December 23, 1954. CLAYPOOL Today's your birthday? TOBY Yes. CLAYPOOL What is your relationship to Congresswoman Wyatt? TOBY She's my ex-wife. CLAYPOOL And is she pregnant right now? TOBY You would have to ask her. CLAYPOOL Why's that? RON He's not answering. CLAYPOOL It's been widely reported? TOBY Yes. CLAYPOOL You won't confirm it? TOBY No. CLAYPOOL Why is that? TOBY It's private. CLAYPOOL There is no right to privacy in a deposition. TOBY But you have to demonstrate relevancy. CLAYPOOL Miss Wyatt is being sued by her constituents for failing to disclose a medical disability while she's asking for their votes and we're trying to discover the extent of the conspiracy. TOBY The conspiracy was massive. CLAYPOOL How pregnant is your ex-wife? TOBY As I understand pregnancy, it's a binary state, you either are or you aren't. CLAYPOOL You are the father, are you not? TOBY Once again, there are medical records. A man enters and hands Ron a note. CLAYPOOL You and Miss Wyatt conceived this baby out of wedlock. TOBY There are two babies. RON They're closing Dulles, so I'd like to suggest that we pick this up again after the holiday. CLAYPOOL That's fine. TOBY I'm told that on my sunniest of days, I'm not that fun to be around. I wonder what's going to happen when you make my children a part of your life. CUT TO: INT. PRESS BRIEFING ROOM - DAY C.J. The President and First Lady will board Air Force One this evening at 7:30 for their flight to Manchester and attend midnight mass tomorrow at the Church of the Sacred Heart. Mark... what are you doing? MARK [standing at the door] What do you mean? C.J. You were supposed to come in here as Santa Claus. MARK We did it already. C.J. Where was I? KATIE You were with the President, and we started to worry about the weather. C.J. You exchanged gifts? MARK Sorry. C.J. Well, this is exactly what happened to Ebenezer Scrooge who was a very nice little guy until something happened with Mr. Fezziwig that I can't remember. The reporters laugh. C.J. All right, back to business. SANTA Ho, ho, ho! C.J. Aww... you see! SANTA Ho, ho, ho! C.J. Santa, you'll be mindful of security, right? MARK He's cleared. SANTA Have you been a good girl? C.J. I've been bad, I've been very bad. SANTA Even better. He pulls out a gift box. C.J. opens the box. C.J. Aww... It's a goldfish pin! Thank you everyone. It's beautiful. Merry Christmas. This is so sweet. Thank you. That's a full lid. REPORTERS Merry Christmas. The reporters leave. C.J. They gave me a gold fish pin 'cause I like goldfish. Actually, what I like are the crackers, but there was a guy... Santa grabs C.J. and kisses her. C.J. Danny? Santa pulls off his beard. DANNY What's going on? CUT TO: EXT. WHITE HOUSE ENTRANCE - DAY The snow is falling hard and Toby is walking in the entrance. He goes into the LOBBY. Will is sitting on a bench writing, waiting for Toby. WILL How'd it go? TOBY Why do you sit in the lobby instead of my office? WILL The Holy line of Demarcation, right there. It's where the West Wing starts and I won't go past it. TOBY I wasn't listening to anything you just said. WILL I said the Holy Line of Demarcat... TOBY It's 'cause I didn't care. WILL You got notes back on the Congressional section. TOBY This has become inconvenient for me. WILL What has? TOBY Your being at OEOB and me having meetings in the lobby. I'm moving you closer. WILL To where? They start to walk to the HALLWAY. TOBY The empty office next to me. WILL I'm not moving into the deputy's office. TOBY Why? WILL A. I'm not the deputy, B. It's Sam's office, and finally, it's way, way over the Holy Line of Demarcation. TOBY You'll move your stuff in today. WILL That's the Oval Office over there, right? TOBY Yeah. WILL I'm averting my eyes. TOBY Okay. They pass by THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. WILL Seriously, Toby, you put me in that office and everyone who works on the speech-writing staff is gonna resent me. TOBY Don't be ridiculous. It's a West Wing office. Everyone who works in the White House is gonna resent you. WILL That's right. TOBY Yet, curiously, I don't care. WILL All right, the notes on the Congressional section... TOBY Get your stuff, and we'll talk about the notes. WILL Thank you. Will walks away. Toby walks into the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE, where he picks uo some papers off a desk. He then walks into his OFFICE, where an old man is sitting, but Toby doesn't see him. TOBY Zach, can you call Joan Tanner at the EPA, please? JULIE Toby. Toby turns around and sees the man, but doesn't respond. TOBY Ginger? JULIE I'm not here through any funny business. I have an appointment tag that was gotten for me by Mr. Joshua Lyman. TOBY Josh got you in? You talked to Josh? JULIE Yes, sir. GINGER Yeah. JULIE Oh, I'm, uh... I'm Toby's father. I'm Julie Ziegler. GINGER It's great to meet you, Mr. Ziegler. I'm Ginger. I'm a staff assistant. TOBY Ginger, tell security to stand by at Station Six, please. GINGER Yes, sir. JULIE I got an appointment tag, Toby. Don't do this, huh? Your brother, your sisters, they let me in their lives. I play with the grandchildren. And now your gonna have twins. I read it in the newspaper. I'm so happy for you, son. You should hear how I talk about you. Toby walks out while Julie is still talking. Julie stands in the office and watches Toby as he walks away. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. THE PRESIDENTS PRIVATE STUDY - DAY Bartlet is talking with Dr. Stanley Keyworth. BARTLET There's a new international math and science study. We rank 19 out of 21 countries. STANLEY That's not very good. BARTLET This is what I'm talking about. STANLEY Who did worse? BARTLET South Africa and Cyprus. STANLEY See, that's questionable company 'cause you don't think of Cyprus as a leader in the field. BARTLET No, you don't. Nor us anymore, for that matter. One-third of all math teachers and half of science teachers didn't major or minor in that subject. STANLEY I did very well in math and science. I don't know why. BARTLET And we'll want to get to the bottom of that. But we're increasing education spending to over a $100 billion a year and, as a result, we have seventh grade textbooks being used in ninth grade and the same answers get a higher score on S.A.T.s. STANLEY That pissed me off. BARTLET Right. But I'm talking about children now. STANLEY What'd you get? BARTLET On the S.A.T.s? STANLEY Yeah. BARTLET You don't want to know. STANLEY You got double-800, didn't you? BARTLET I got 800/790. For the life of me, I can't imagine what I got wrong. Then I took them again, and got 800/790. I mean, is it possible there was some sort of number-two pencil anomaly that could've...? STANLEY Excuse me. I-I'm sorry to interrupt, uh... You got a 800/790 and took the test again? BARTLET Yeah, I know, it's a little... something. STANLEY It's a little something. Yeah. BARTLET So our schools have reached a crisis and our infant mortality rate is two and a half times what it is in Singapore. So what I think we should do for starters is, we should keep more people alive, then send them to school. Get a little peace and prosperity going. STANLEY You feeling like you haven't been doing enough about it yet? BARTLET Stanley, the width and depth of what I haven't done about it yet... You know you can't do anything about hurricanes? The President can't do anything about nature or bad luck. I ought to be able to do something about the airplane. STANLEY Uh-oh. BARTLET Wait, what'd I just say? STANLEY It's hard to figure, sir, but you've introduced a new word into the conversation. BARTLET What do airplanes signify? STANLEY Death. BARTLET Really. STANLEY Well, that's in dreams... I think. I don't know. BARTLET Stanley, I never thought to ask, but you are a doctor, right? STANLEY Me? BARTLET Yeah. STANLEY How do you mean? They chuckle. BARTLET I've been spacing out for a minute at meetings. Three times this week. I hear someone talking and realize I wasn't listening to part of it. STANLEY That's unusual? BARTLET Very. The intercom rings and Bartlet answers. BARTLET Hi. Yeah. [hangs up phone] It's Leo. Leo enters. LEO Mr. President. BARTLET What's going on? LEO The Church of the Nativity is closed. You want to believe that? BARTLET Why? LEO I'm finding out. Dr. Keyworth, Dulles and International are both closed. STANLEY Ah. LEO You mind being our guest for a little while? STANLEY Thank you. BARTLET And now we're one-third of the way through an Agatha Chrstie story. [gravely] "Where nobody be goin' nowhere. The bridge is washed out." Well, I'm finished. But I was doing the guy that says that in the Agatha Christie stories. Stanley, as always. Leo, I'll be in the office. LEO Thank you, sir. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Charlie is walking down the hallway flipping through a folder. He enters the OUTER OVAL OFFICE where Zoey is standing with a guy. ZOEY Hey, Charlie. CHARLIE Hey, Zoey. Charlie continues to walk into THE OVAL OFFICE, but turns around when he realizes that there was a guy with Zoey. CHARLIE Hello. ZOEY Hi. Uh, this is Jean-Paul. Jean-Paul, this is Charlie Young. CHARLIE How do you do. JEAN-PAUL Ah, Zoey talks about you all the time. She talks about you so much I think sometimes I want to kill you. CHARLIE Hey, that's nice of you. Thanks. ZOEY It's a common emotion. CHARLIE Is there a particular way I'm supposed to address you? JEAN-PAUL No, don't be silly. ZOEY He's very casual about it. The average passerby would never know he was French royalty. Unless, you know, they looked at him. JEAN-PAUL Yes. CHARLIE Well, Jean Paul, I read 150 words about you in US Weekly and I feel like I know you already. JEAN-PAUL Thank you. CHARLIE Excuse me. Charlie enters THE OVAL OFFICE and Zoey follows him, leaving Jean Paul in the Outer Office. ZOEY So... I need you to give me the coverage on my father's mood. CHARLIE Why? ZOEY 'Cause I want to ask him something. CHARLIE What? ZOEY Do you need to know? CHARLIE No, I just want to. ZOEY If I tell you why, will you tell me his mood? CHARLIE Yes. ZOEY I want to ask my dad if Jean-Paul can come to New Hampshire with us. CHARLIE He hasn't met him yet. ZOEY He's going to meet him today. CHARLIE Now we've got ourselves a show. ZOEY My dad's going to love him. CHARLIE Oh, yeah. ZOEY Well, I love him, so my father will love him. CHARLIE That's absolutely the way it works. ZOEY Will you just tell me his mood? CHARLIE No. I'm afraid you fell for the oldest trick in the book. I work for the President. I don't discuss his mood. But I wish you all the luck in the world. I like Jean-Paul. You've got a lot in common. ZOEY You are the worst kind of snob. CHARLIE Well, I think there are snobs who are way worse but thank you. Charlie walks out of the Oval Office and passes Jean-Paul. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY DANNY When I left, they had 97 runs. C.J. The score gets that high? DANNY A high score is 400. C.J. When did you start liking cricket? DANNY Well, I haven't yet. But last week I took four days in Bermuda. C.J. Oh, I love Bermuda. I like the scooters. DANNY I do too, and I got one, and I was riding into Hamilton when I saw a bunch of people playing cricket. And I like sports, though it turns out, not as much as I'd thought. But that's not the point. C.J. What was the point? DANNY I met a guy there, a Bermudian whose name I'm not going to tell you right now. He was explaining the game to me. He's a cricket nut. He plays in a league. And he's a ramp signal agent at a small airstrip. He marshals planes as they're coming in. He was telling me a story to illustrate how much he loves cricket. There was a day his supervisor told his four-person crew they had tomorrow off 'cause a training crew was coming in to work their shift. Well, the next day, the guy realized that he left his cricket bat in his locker at work and his wife had the car so he walks six-miles back to the airstrip to get it. Except, when he got there, he wasn't allowed in. Three men in coveralls, who identified themselves as being part of the training crew, were standing out front. All three of them were white, two of them had Southern accents. On May 21st, he was told to take tomorrow off. On the 22nd... Abdul Shareef's plane went off radar 85 miles from Bermuda. C.J. This is like something you'd get on the Internet. DANNY I'm back and I'm happy about it. And I think you know how I feel about you. But don't mess me around on this story, okay? The three guys out front were U.S. Army Rangers. I got to change my clothes. Danny walks out of C.J.'s office. C.J. watches him as he leaves. CAROL [OS] He's back! DANNY [OS] I go where you are, Carol. You're where the story is. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Leo is typing on his computer, and Josh is standing by Leo's desk. JOSH The Israelis say it's unsafe. LEO They're worried about an attack. JOSH They're worried about the roof caving in, part of it collasped this morning. LEO Why can't they fix it? JOSH 'Cause they'd have to bring in hammers and nails. LEO They're worried someone's going to use this stuff for bombs? JOSH Of course that's what they're worried about. Leo, there are like 93,000 other churches within rock-throwing distance of this place. I'm not sure... LEO I don't think that's the point. I'm not trying to create a plan for a lasting cease-fire. Right now, I'm just trying to fix a roof. Is that really not possible down there? See if you can find a U.N. relief and recovery unit anywhere around there, or an NGO that could serve as neutral-- God-- as a nuetral part to oversee transportation, storage and repair. Thank you. JOSH Thank you. Josh exits Leo's office into the HALLWAY. TOBY What the hell are you doing? What were you doing? JOSH Yes, I'm sorry. Yes, I did. TOBY I wish you hadn't and you knew that. JOSH I did. TOBY Yeah. Toby walks away leaving Josh standing in the hallway. CUT TO: INT: TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Julie Ziegler is looking at a framed newspaper on Toby's wall, when Toby enters. TOBY Your flight's canceled. All the shuttles are canceled for a while. JULIE I can take the train. TOBY No, you can't. The tracks are frozen in Trenton. What hotel are you staying at? We'll see if we can get you the room for a few hours more. JULIE I didn't take a room. TOBY Ginger... JULIE I can be quiet while you work. TOBY [to Ginger] Would you call around to the hotels we know and see if anybody's got a room for me? GINGER Yeah. JULIE You got some pull in this town, huh? TOBY Excuse me. Toby walks into SAM'S OFFICE where Will is sitting at the desk working. There are bicycles all over it. TOBY Hey. WILL Good. TOBY Looks like some of the junior staffers may have moved their bicycles in here in protest. WILL Yeah, looks like that may have happened. TOBY You know... WILL I don't care. I want to talk about the notes. TOBY I agree with all three of them. WILL I agree with two of the three. He says: "No leading with reform. Fix the pipes. Don't buy a new toolbox." You got to talk about the toolbox now. At the beginning of the administration is the only time you can. TOBY Except, if you say, at the beginning of the administration that you want campaign reform, and nothing happens, then you just spent four years doing nothing about campaign reform. WILL Yeah, you got to get on the field and then you got to win. TOBY I-I still think he's right but it gets a conversation. Someone will tell you what time the meeting is. WILL With who? TOBY The President. WILL And who? TOBY Us. WILL Uh, no. I shouldn't be there for that. TOBY You can tell 'em I said move the bicycles, you know? WILL Can we forget about that? I'm not prepared, nor I must say, do I feel comfortable at this point-- TOBY Yeah. Toby walks out of Sam's office back into his OFFICE where his father is still waiting. TOBY We're striking out on hotels. JULIE Well, if you like, I can wait someplace else around here. TOBY Okay, that's a good idea. You've been convicted of multiple felonies. You think the U.S. Secret Service lets you walk around this building unescourted?! You can't! You're a threat to the President! JULIE I'm really not. TOBY I'm going to work for a while now. Toby seats at his desk and begins to read papers. Julie sits down in a chair in Toby's office. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: EXT. PORTICO - DAY Bartlet is standing out on the portico watching the snow fall when Charlie exits from the Oval Office. CHARLIE Sir. BARTLET Yeah? CHARLIE Do you need a coat? BARTLET It's not that cold. Charlie goes back into THE OVAL OFFICE and into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE where we hear the men's group singing "The Girl from Ipanema" to Donna in THE MURAL ROOM. WHIFFENPOOFS "Tall and tan and young and lovely The girl from Ipanema goes walking And when she passes, each one she passes goes - ah..." DONNA No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's not doing it for me. This is a Rale Chalet in the mountains with four-poster beds and dust ruffles. There's a 14,000 bottle wine cellar. You got anything like that? SINGER We'll put our heads together ma'am. DONNA I appreciate it. Carol enters carrying a tray of sandwiches. CAROL Sandwiches. Here you go. [to Donna] You should leave right now. DONNA I'm leaving right now. CAROL You roads are all right? DONNA I-66, Which they've been salting since this morning. CHARLIE Carol. CAROL Yeah? CHARLIE He'd like to do the Times closer to 6:00. Can C.J. or a deputy sit in? CAROL Yeah. [to Whiffenpoofs] You guys are all set? DONNA I can stay here until you come back. CAROL I'll just be a second. DONNA Can you think of an appropriate song they can do for me before I go? CHARLIE You guys know "Girl From Ipanema"? CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Barltet enters from the portico. BARTLET Charlie. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET I want to see Josh in his office. Let him know I'm coming. CHARLIE Yes, sir. Bartlet walks off. Charlie turns back to Donna who's in THE MURAL ROOM. CHARLIE Go ahead, go now. DONNA I'll wait. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY Josh is sitting at his desk talking on the phone. JOSH No, no, actually three units are in the Sudan and a fourth is in Turkey, which... just had a 6.2 seismic experience. That's an earthquake, right? Okay, just make sure they know it's just transportation and oversight. We don't need materials. A knock on the door. JOSH Come in. Becky, also... Josh turns around and sees Bartlet. JOSH Excuse me. I'll call you back. Good afternoon, Mr. President. BARTLET Listen, this is going to sound crazy but Olympia Buckland had an infant mortality bill that we asked her not to take out of committee 'cause it was too expensive. JOSH Yeah. BARTLET I'd like her initiative or something similiar to be folded into the HHS budget. JOSH Yes, sir. We can make it a priority with the next Congress. BARTLET No, I mean I want it for the next Congress. You understand what I'm saying? JOSH I... Yes, I think that you're saying that before it goes to the printer on January 1st, you want to rewrite the federal budget. BARTLET A little bit, yeah. If we nip and tuck in different departments we can do it. It'll take an around-the-clock kind of effort. Yes it's a holiday, but OMB works for us, right? JOSH For the moment, yes. BARTLET You think this is crazy? JOSH No, certainly not crazier than Leo going for peace in the Middle East by the close of business. BARTLET ? JOSH Yes, sir. I can. BARTLET Thank you. JOSH Thank you, Mr. President. Bartlet exits and Josh walks to his BULLPEN AREA. DONNA [OS] Good afternoon, Mr. President. JOSH I'm sorry. It's not what it looks like. DONNA It's okay. JOSH It's the... DONNA What? JOSH HHS budget, it seems very important to him and there's hard deadline. DONNA It's really okay. JOSH I'll have you on the road as soon as I possibly can. DONNA Were do we start? JOSH Call the policy council. Tell them we need to package an initiative on infant mortality. I'll walk them through it. DONNA Yeah. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY Charlie sees Will enter. CHARLIE Hello. WILL Good afternoon. I'm Will Bailey. CHARLIE Oh, it's good to meet you. Charlie Young. WILL Hi. CHARLIE The President's going to see you in just a minute. WILL Oh, no, no, I'm meeting Toby Ziegler here. CHARLIE Yeah, Toby's not coming. He called. Leo needs him on the Hill. WILL Really? CHARLIE Yeah. WILL Well, this should be rescheduled for a time when that's not happening. I'll just go back to my office. The door to the Oval Office opens up, and Will begins to run away. BARTLET Toby here yet? CHARLIE No, sir, but this is Will Bailey. BARTLET So, finally we meet. WILL Hello. BARTLET Want to come in? WILL Oh, no, no. No, no, no. BARTLET Okay. Well, I sent some notes on the Congressional section. WILL Did you? BARTLET Isn't that why you're here? WILL Actually, I was just meeting Toby Ziegler. BARTLET To see me. WILL Yes. BARTLET I thought it was about the notes on the Congressional section. WILL I'm pretty sure it is. BARTLET Okay. Would you like to come back with Toby? WILL I think so, sir, yes. BARTLET Well, thanks for stopping by. WILL Thank you, Mr. Justice... Mr. Bartlet... Mr. President, actually. Barltet goes back into the Oval Office. WILL Oh, my God. CHARLIE You know what? I've seen worse. WILL Really? CHARLIE Well, no. WILL Yeah. Toby walks in. WILL Hey, I thought you were up at the Hill. TOBY On the Hill. You're not at the Hill. So, I'm back. How'd it go? WILL Didn't go very well. TOBY Presidential flameout? WILL Doesn't matter, look... They reach the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. TOBY Makes you feel like you'll never know the love of a real woman. WILL Can we not talk about it? TOBY Sure. What'd he say on the Congressional section? Never quite got there. WILL No. TOBY Yeah. That's a harsh look in the mirror. That'll be with you the next time you try to make love to a real woman. WILL Look, it doesn't matter about me. I think this thing is important. TOBY Bonnie, would you get Mr. Bailey and myself a few minutes with the President this evening? BONNIE Yeah. Toby sees that there are big posters of Sam's campaign plastered to the windows of his old office. TOBY And, people, there are laws against campaigning in Federal buildings. If you're going to cover Will's office, please use plain oak tag or shaving cream, if you need to. Okay? WILL Yeah. GINGER Hey, Toby? Lisa Lily's on the phone. The Justice Department is having some kind of thing tonight with skits, and she wants to know when Albert Anastasia was killed. I can't find it. Do you know? TOBY No, but hang on a second. Toby walks into his OFFICE where is father is still waiting. TOBY When was Albert Anastasia killed? JULIE I'm sorry? TOBY When was Anastasia killed? JULIE October of 1957. Toby walks back out to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. TOBY October of '57. GINGER Thanks. STAFFER Here you go. [hands Toby a piece of paper] TOBY Thank you. Toby goes inside WILL'S OFFICE. TOBY 7:30. WILL You'll be there? TOBY Yes. WILL You promise? TOBY Listen, when you get home tonight you're going to be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero. WILL Who rides a bicycle to work when there's going to be a foot and a half of snow? TOBY These are all good questions. WILL Okay. Hey, your dad seems like such a nice guy. I was talking to him before. TOBY Yeah. WILL Is he retired? TOBY Yeah. WILL What did he do? TOBY He made ladies' raincoats and before that, he worked for Murder Incorporated. Toby walks back out to the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. TOBY Boy, it really is snowing. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT Josh is standing at a desk talking on the phone. JOSH There problem is, there's been an earthquake in Turkey and those units are occupied. I say there's been an earthquake. A 6.2 seismic experience. Thank you, I realize the hour and it's a holiday but if can get back to me. Thank you. He hangs up the phone. DONNA Well, they've got three PADs working on it and both deputies at DPC. So far, the policy councils are having a hard time taking action without identifying offsets. JOSH What are they talking about? DONNA Early childhood nutrition. JOSH They want to cut early childhood nutrition? The kids will just die later. DONNA They don't want to cut anything. JOSH What does OMB have? DONNA They want to explore a dedicated tax. JOSH A tax on poor people 'cause they can't afford medical care. DONNA I wouldn't try to sell it that way. JOSH I'll get you there first thing in the morning. DONNA What did you mean when you said it's not what it looks like? JOSH Jack's already down there? DONNA Yeah. JOSH I'll call him and apologize. DONNA What did you mean? JOSH I meant that I wasn't keeping you here on purpose. DONNA Why would I think you were doing that? JOSH I wasn't. DONNA Why would I think you were? JOSH I don't know. It was just something I said. Listen, it doesn't have to be a disaster, you know. C.J.'s staff is going to make little snowmen and stick them on the seats in the Press Briefing Room and take a picture. We can do that and then I'll get you drunk at the Hawk and Dove. DONNA That sounds nice. JOSH I have to go see the President. Josh starts for the HALLWAY. C.J. How's it going? JOSH Leo and the President have gone Chrsimas crazier than usual. C.J. You know Danny's back. JOSH Yeah, I got an e-mail from him. Any sparks? C.J. Come here for a second. They go into C.J.'S OFFICE. C.J. He's chasing a story that says the day Shareef's plane went down, there was an airstrip in Bermuda that was secured by Rangers. JOSH You told Leo? C.J. I told him. I didn't ask him any questions. JOSH Danny thinks w-we somehow got a Gulfstream to land in Bermuda, assassinated Sharef, then disassembled the plane and distributed the pieces throughout the Bermuda Triangle? C.J. Yeah. JOSH I think he spent too much time in the Africa hot. C.J. The thing is... JOSH Yeah? C.J. I'm absolutely certain that's what happened. JOSH We're not supposed to talk about his. C.J. If it is true, we need to say so before Danny does. We've been here before. JOSH Not here, but I get your point. C.J. Okay. CUT TO: EXT. PORTICO - NIGHT Bartlet and Zoey are walking down the portico towards the Oval Office. ZOEY Well, what do you think so far? BARTLET He's the best-looking person I've ever seen in real life. ZOEY Want me to tell you about his lineage? BARTLET Oh, would you? ZOEY Jean-Paul Pierre Claude Charpentier Vicomte de CondE de Bourbon. He's the 22nd Vicomte de Bourbon, though obviously that got interrupted by the French Revolution. BARTLET Yeah, that was a setback for the Bourbons. Listen... ZOEY So, I have to ask you and I'm nervous but I'd like Jean-Paul to come stay with us in Manchester this Christmas. BARTLET Zoey, I think it's really sweet that you still come to me for permission. You're classy, and you're old-fashioned. ZOEY So, it's okay? BARTLET Not in a million years. ZOEY Dad... BARTLET Listen. Sit down for a second. They sit down on a bench out on the portico. BARTLET When you were little, like two, I really wanted you to like me and I wan't sure you did. With Liz and Ellie, my act just worked and with you I had to try harder. ZOEY Dad, what's wrong? BARTLET I did something a few months ago and I'm sure I was right and I'd do it again but it's hard to live with. This is ridiculous. You're freezing. Come inside. ZOEY Dad, no... BARTLET Come inside. They enter THE OVAL OFFICE where Leo is sitting in a chair waiting. LEO Good evening, Mr. President. Zoey. ZOEY Hi, Mr. McGarry. Dad... BARTLET You know, why don't you go back to the Residence and make sure your mom hasn't killed your boyfriend. Yeah, he can come to Manchester. He's going to have more Secret Service stuff to do, and he's going to have to sleep in the root cellar which, like your bedroom door, will be guarded round the clock by two U.S. Marshals. ZOEY Okay. [leaves] LEO She looks great. BARTLET I almost told her. I've been feeling it a little lately. I've been exorcising my guilt by having Josh crowbar infant mortality money into the HHS budget on December 23 at 8:00. LEO For me, he's trying to get Arabs and Israelis to like each other. BARTLET How's it going? LEO It's a challenge. BARTLET Yeah. LEO Danny Concannon knows a guy who couldn't get to his locker. BARTLET Yeah. We'll figure it out. LEO Yeah. BARTLET Stanley thought it was weird that I took the SAT's again, too. LEO It is. BARTLET You don't think it's possible that the remaining answer was important? LEO No. BARTLET Really? LEO Yeah. BARTLET How the hell would you know? You got 1400. LEO True. There's a knock on the door. CHARLIE Sir? BARTLET Yeah, send them in. Toby and Will enter the Oval Office. TOBY Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Yeah. Listen, my reasons for not wanting to talk about campaign reform at the Inauguration are simple. It's not a legislative speech and when we cite issues, it should be the ones that affect people's lives. You agree? TOBY Yes. BARTLET Anything else? Toby turns to Will to see if he'll say anything. TOBY No, sir. In his defense, he caught the bad note. He came to me. He made it important. LEO Yeah. TOBY He wasn't distracted bt the fact that his office was filled with bicycles. WILL Excuse me? TOBY Yeah. WILL You said that I caught the bad note? TOBY Yeah, that was planted there to see how well you'd do telling truth to power. BARTLET Not very well so far. WILL I have no difficulty telling, sir, telling truth to power. BARTLET Okay, except when I asked you to come into the Oval Office you said, "No, no, no. No, no, no, no." WILL And I was firm in my convictions. BARTLET And you called me Mr. Justice. LEO Can we get back to why you think...? WILL Because, yes, you do want to talk about issues that affect people. This is the issue that affects everyone and you can't get elected three times and you can't raise the subject halfway throught a term. LEO Maybe, but I'm not convinced and that's 'caused you haven't convinced me. This isn't Tillman at the Stanford Club or the California 47th. This is big-boy school, Mr. Bailey. You understand? WILL Yes, sir. I do. LEO All right. It's Christmas. You've probably got someplace to go. TOBY Thank you, Mr. President. Toby exits the Oval Office to the HALLWAY. Josh is waiting for him. JOSH I just need to tell you this. Come here. Josh walks to THE ROOSEVELT ROOM, but people are in there, so he turns around. JOSH Sorry. come here. TOBY Josh... JOSH Come here. They go inside THE MURAL ROOM. JOSH All right, it was desperation. It wasn't out of a desire to do evil. He had a young family and he barely spoke the language. He went to jail. He went to jail and you went to school, and it was all a half century ago. Look what he did in two generations. What room did you just walk out of? TOBY I appreciate that that's what you think. Do I get to think what I think? JOSH No, you don't, 'cause you don't know what I know. TOBY What? JOSH That I would give anything to have a father who was a felon, or a sister with a past. That's it. Josh exits and is walking past Leo's office when Leo calls him out. LEO Josh! I was just coming to see you. You're off the hook with both of us. We'll go for infant mortality after the first. JOSH I don't mind. People are working on it. I have Donna here with me. We've got a whole night planned around it. LEO Yeah, I'm calling it off, and I hooked Donna up with a news helicopter that's landing about two miles from the inn she's going to. JOSH Donna left? LEO Yeah. Oh, forget the Nativity. We'll get 'em next time. JOSH Yes, sir. CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - NIGHT JULIE You know, I think it might make it easier if you knew some of the history. You shouldn't have to ask when Anastasia was killed. TOBY Oh, my God. I know when Anastasia was killed. I know about that candy store in Brownsville. I know about Louie Amberg. I know about the Half Moon Hotel sixth story window, Coney Island! JULIE Can I tell you? Doug Schultz ain't never heard of me, Toby. My crew... It only happened to terrible people. Terrible people! Murders themselves. TOBY Pa, please. JULIE Loan sharks, heroin dealers. These were our neighborhoods. TOBY We don't have to do this all in one night. JULIE What? TOBY It's getting late. Stay on my couch. You're getting out in the morning. JULIE I should... I should stay tonight with you? TOBY You should stay tonight with me. JULIE Andrea's healthy? TOBY Very healthy. JULIE Got some names picked out? They walk out to the HALLWAY. TOBY No, not yet. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] "O holy night, The stars are brightly shining..." JULIE Toby, uh... Who is that that's been singing here all day? TOBY The Whiffenpoofs. It's a group called the Wiffenpoofs. They're from Yale. They came to do a series of concerts and the snow... JULIE Yeah. Did you say "Whiffenpofs"? TOBY Whiffenpoofs. I'm surprised you haven't heard of them. You used to like Cole Porter a lot. JULIE And they're singing right now in this building? TOBY Yeah, right there. CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - CONTINUOUS The Whiffenpoofs are standing in the lobby singing with White House staffers standing around listening. Toby and his father come in to listen to them sing. WHIFFENPOOFS "A thrill of hope, The weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks, The new and glorious dawn, Fall on your knees, Oh, hear the angels voices, O, night divine..." JULIE Ich hub uuz deh gebracht. TOBY What? JULIE I'm having the strongest memory. WHIFFENPOOFS "When Christ was born..." CUT TO: INT: JOSH'S BULLLPEN AREA - NIGHT Josh is walking when Leo calls him. The Whiffenpoofs can be heard singing in the background. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] "O night, divine..." LEO Josh. Was I insensitive before about telling you Donna was gone? JOSH No. What do you mean? LEO I don't know. I thought... JOSH It's fine. Of course it's fine. It's great. I was feeling guilty, but now, this... is good. This, this... is better than good. It's the way it should be. LEO Oh, get it together, would you please? JOSH I'm trying. LEO Okay. There's something we have to talk about. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] "It is the night of our Dear Saviour's birth..." JOSH You'll tell me when you need to. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] "Long lay the world in sin and error pining..." LEO It's four years later and there are things that are worse and things that are exactly the same. Where do you start? JOSH By fixing a roof. I'm staying on the phones. You want to stay with me? LEO Yeah. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] For yonder breaks The new and glorious dawn..." CUT TO: INT. PRESS AREA - NIGHT Danny is typing on his computer. WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] "Fall on your knees O, hear the angel voices..." CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT C.J. is sitting at her desk writing. WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] "O, night divine O, night..." CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT Charlie walks past. Then Zoey and Jean Paul walk by. We follow them past Will working in his OFFICE. The posters of Sam's campaign are still up to the windows. WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] "When Christ was born O, night divine O, night O, night divine..." CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Bartlet is standing in front of the window looking out at the snow falling. WHIFFENPOOFS [VO] "Fall o' your knees O, hear the angels voices..." CUT TO: INT: LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT Leo is sitting at his desk on the phone. Josh is dialing a number on his cellphone when he looks through the window and see's Toby standing with his father. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] "O, night divine O, night when Christ was born o, night divine..." CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - NIGHT Toby, his father, and other stafers are listening to the Whiffenpoofs sing. WHIFFENPOOFS [OS] O, holy night O, night divine." DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are a property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 4.11 -- "Holy Night" Original Air Date: December 11, 2002, 9:00 PM EST Transcript by: ck1czar January 9, 2002