While President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) and some of the staff are en route overnight to Portland for a major education speech, Leo (John Spencer) remains behind to monitor a tense situation in the Persian Gulf when a foreign tanker is suspected of smuggling contraband oil and fires on U.S. Navy helicopters sent to investigate. Elsewhere, Josh (Bradley Whitford) is on a tight deadline when he debates with an opposing party’s congressman, Matt Skinner (Charley Lang) — who happens to be gay — the merits of a bill brought before the President that would prohibit same-sex marriages. On the plane, Toby (Richard Schiff) tries to re-work Sam’s (Rob Lowe) questionable speech on education while Charlie (Dule Hill) offers a novel idea that would result in more teachers. In addition, new hire Ainsley (Emily Procter) is content to perspire freely in her overheated office while secretary Margaret (NiCole Robinson) worries that her boss, Leo, might be tempted to take a drink after he signs his divorce papers.
THE WEST WING "THE PORTLAND TRIP" STORY BY: PAUL REDFORD TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: PARIS BARCLAY TEASER FADE IN: EXT. ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT Police cars, motorcycles and limousines arrive. Sirens are heard everywhere. CUT TO: INT. LIMOUSINE - CONTINUOUS Bartlet and Charlie are in one of the limos. BARTLET He wants to meet with me on the way back? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET On the way back? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET The Assistant Energy Secretary is flying to Portland in the middle of the night so he can meet with me on Air Force One on the way back? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET The day-to-day experience of my life has changed in many ways since taking this job. CHARLIE I would imagine, sir. CUT TO: INT. PRESS BUS - CONTINUOUS At the end of the motorcade, C.J. is sitting in front of the press bus, facing the many reporters who are accompanying Bartlet on the trip. C.J. Before we get on the plane, let me give you a couple of additions to the passenger manifest. Gerald Wegland, the Assistant Energy Secretary, is now on the flight, as well as Mr. Latham, the head of The White House Military Office, or WHAMO, as we have apparently taken - over my strong objection - to calling it. [Reporters giggle.] Also, on this evening's trip are Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn and, well, me. DANNY I thought you weren't going on the trip. C.J. I am now going on the trip. DANNY Are you being punished? C.J. I'm not being punished, I'm going on the trip. DANNY If the whole bus goes off the record, will you tell us why you're going on the trip? C.J. [watches everyone carefully] I made fun of Notre Dame. REPORTERS Oh! Aww! Man! No! C.J. I usually get away with it! KATIE They're playing Michigan tomorrow. C.J. I know that now. DANNY You can't bring that stuff when they're playing Michigan. C.J. Well, I'll have a lot of time to think about that on the midnight ride to Portland, Danny. The wheels-up is 905. We'll touch down in Portland a little before midnight local time. CUT TO: EXT. ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE - NIGHT Leo approaches Bartlet's limo. Engines roar nearby. LEO Mr. President? BARTLET How're you doing? LEO I just got off with Bruno and Hess. BARTLET I'm sorry? LEO I said I just got off with Bruno and Hess. BARTLET You didn't say 'Michigan sucks'? LEO No, sir. BARTLET I thought you said 'Michigan sucks.' LEO No, sir. We're standing pretty close to the engines so it may have sounded like I said, 'Notre Dame is gonna get the ass-kicking they so richly deserve.' Bruno and Hess? BARTLET Yeah. LEO We stopped the tanker in the Gulf. BARTLET Whose? LEO It's Cyprus-flagged but they tracked them coming out of Qais. BARTLET You think they've got oil? LEO Yeah. BARTLET We gonna board them? LEO Yeah. BARTLET Anything else I should know? LEO No, sir. BARTLET I'll see you tomorrow night. LEO Have a good flight, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you! C.J. approaches from the side, Leo waves to her and leaves. BARTLET Hey, C.J.! C.J. Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET I think it's great you decided to make the trip. C.J. I believe I was ordered to, Mr. President. BARTLET Yes. I remember now. You made one of your funny, funny jokes. C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET Put it on. C.J. Mr. President. BARTLET Put it on. C.J. Sir, I'm wearing Max Mara. It's going to break up the... BARTLET Put it on! C.J. puts on the Notre Dame cap and grins at the officer in front of the plane door. C.J. Please let nobody see me like this. BARTLET Hey, photo op. C.J. Oh good god. They turn to the people below the plane and wave. Bartlet - enthusiastically, C.J. - barely. BARTLET Let's hit the sky! SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Josh is sitting at his desk. JOSH Did he look tired? CUT TO: INT. LIMOUSINE - CONTINUOUS Leo is sitting inside. He is on the phone in the car. LEO No, he looked fine. JOSH You told him about the tanker? LEO Yeah. I wish he'd cancel the event, it's a long flight. JOSH He likes long flights, he gets to talk to everybody and think out loud. LEO Yeah, but then he lands. JOSH Yeah, so... well, then he lands. [beat] Anyway, I'm going to meet with Matt Skinner. LEO Tonight? JOSH Yeah. LEO He's gonna say the language in the bill doesn't prohibit. JOSH Yeah, but it creates a Federal Definition. During this conversation, Donna, wearing a stunning red dress, comes in, turns off Josh's PC and laptop, picks up his feet to collect papers from his desk and flicks off the table lamp. LEO Still, at the State level... JOSH Yeah. Are you sticking around tonight? LEO The President's going to have to make a decision from the plane. JOSH Okay. I have to go. Donna is about to cease the phone. LEO All right. JOSH Leo. He likes long plane rides. LEO Yeah. Josh hangs up the phone. JOSH Can I have the electricity back on? DONNA No. She walks out of the office to JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. Josh follows. JOSH Why not? DONNA It's time to go. JOSH Not for me. Matt Skinner's coming down from the Hill. DONNA [turns to Josh] When did this happen? JOSH Two minutes ago. Did you have plans? DONNA Did I have plans! JOSH Did you? DONNA Look at me! Josh looks. JOSH Hey, you look GOOD! DONNA Yes, I do! She walks away. Josh follows again. JOSH You weren't wearing that during the day today. DONNA Pity the girl who tries to get something past you, Josh. JOSH Did you steal that dress? DONNA I bought this dress. JOSH But you're returning it tomorrow. DONNA Yes, I am. JOSH That's stealing! DONNA I'm giving it back. JOSH After wearing it once. DONNA There's a word for this. JOSH It's "stealing"! DONNA [puts on her coat] I'm a girl on a budget, Josh. I'm being thrifty. JOSH And felonious. What are your plans? DONNA Look... JOSH What are your plans? DONNA We're having drinks, we're having dinner, we are going dancing, we are having dessert. JOSH No problem. You can do all those things except for the drinks, the dancing, and the dessert. DONNA Josh... JOSH I need you to be done with dinner in an hour and five minutes. DONNA [shows him her dress again] Do you see what I'm wearing? JOSH If you wanna have sex, you'd better do it during dinner. DONNA [walks closer to him] This is the guy, Josh. This is a great guy. His name is Todd. JOSH [smiling goofily] You met him for five minutes at a party. DONNA I got the good vibe. JOSH Okay. [turns back to his office] DONNA I have an excellent sense about these things! JOSH [turns back, yelling] Actually, you have NO sense about these things! You have no vibe, you have terrible taste in men, and your desire to be coupled up will always and forever drown out any small sense of self or self-worth that you may have. DONNA [as her smile fades and about to cry] You're a downer, you know that? I'm calling you Deputy Downer from now on! She leaves the bullpen. Josh watches her go. Then walks to his office. JOSH Be back by the time I'm done with Skinner! CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - NIGHT Sam is sitting in a chair, looking nowhere. He's holding his speech carelessly in his hand. PILOT [via P.A.] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen from the flight deck. We're just passing through 20,000 feet en route to our cruising altitude of 38,000 feet. Our flight plan this evening will take us over Pittsburgh and Cleveland, passing 190 miles south of the University of Notre Dame, then over Radic City, South Dakota; Casper, Wyoming, to... During the announcement, Sam jumps suddenly, and walks into a CABIN where Toby is sitting in an armchair. SAM Toby? TOBY Let me see it. SAM Could I talk to you a second? TOBY Is it done? SAM It... it's not... it's not good. It's not going well. TOBY We've had meetings... SAM Yeah, Toby... TOBY For the past three weeks! SAM I'm not confused about policy. TOBY What's the problem? SAM I'm not writing well. I'm just... I'd rather not distribute this to the pool yet. The steward walks into the cabin. STEWARD Mr. Ziegler, Mr. Seaborn, do you know what you'd like for dinner? TOBY [gets up] We'll be eating in the conference room. I'll have a club sandwich, Jack Daniels and ice. STEWARD Mr. Seaborn? SAM Nothing for me. TOBY You have to have something. SAM I'm fine. [He looks horrible.] TOBY [to the steward] Bring him a club sandwich. STEWARD Yes, sir. They walk out of the room. C.J. is coming down the stairs to meet them. TOBY Nice hat. C.J. Shut up! TOBY [beat] Sam and I are going to work for a little bit, you'll have draft copies to distribute to the press in about three hours. C.J. It was already distributed. SAM W-what do you mean? C.J. It was already distributed. SAM You have to get it back! C.J. I can't get it back. SAM C.J.... C.J. They know you're polishing it... SAM I'm doing more than polishing it, C.J., you've got to get it back! C.J. I'll tell them there's a new draft and then you should... SAM You've got to get the old draft back! C.J. They're not going to read it! SAM They might. C.J. So what? SAM It's very bad writing and it's got my fingerprints all over it! C.J. [laughs] Sam! TOBY C.J., try to get it back. [walks past them, to Sam] C'mon. STEWARD Ms. Cregg, do you know what you'd like for dinner? SAM [pops up on extreme right, whispers] Try to get it back? C.J. Uh... yeah. STEWARD Ms. Cregg, you know what you'd like for dinner? C.J. [walking] We've got pasta... salad? STEWARD It's good. C.J. I'll take it. Bartlet and Charlie approach C.J. BARTLET C.J.! C.J. Mr. President. BARTLET What does the island of Qais mean to you? C.J. [rolls her eyes, walks by him] I know it's known as a rendezvous point for Iraqi oil smugglers. BARTLET About two hours ago we stopped a Cyprus-flagged ship called "The Nicosia." We believe it to be carrying petroleum products out of Iraq, in violation of UN sanctions. C.J. What do we do when that happens? BARTLET We board the stip, we test a sample of the oil, we determine its point of origin and if it's black-market, the oil company gets fined. C.J. Don't they also get to sell the oil? BARTLET Yes. C.J. Doesn't the profit of the sale exceed the fine? BARTLET It dramatically exceeds the fine! So what do you think we should do? C.J. If you're going to have sanctions, have sanctions. There should be genuine disincentive. BARTLET I agree. Charlie? CHARLIE [hands C.J. some papers] Here you go. C.J. What's this? CHARLIE The lyrics to the Notre Dame fight song. BARTLET It would please me if you would lead the press in a rendition as we pass over South Bend. C.J. Yes, sir. BARTLET All five verses, please. C.J. [clutches her fists] Go Irish! BARTLET You bet your ass! Bartlet and Charlie walk away as C.J. stands still with her fist still clutched. CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE MESS - NIGHT Ainsley, with a fan in her hand, walks into the cafeteria. WAITER Yes, ma'am? AINSLEY Yes, could I have a chocolate chip muffin, a can of Fresca and a bag of ice, please? WAITER We don't have Fresca. AINSLEY Really? WAITER No, ma'am. AINSLEY You should really have Fresca. WAITER Yes, ma'am. LEO [comes up to Ainsley] Ainsley! AINSLEY Good evening, Leo! LEO What's with the fan? AINSLEY I just went and got it from my apartment. [picks up food and they walk to exit] LEO It's seventeen degrees outside. AINSLEY Then I should move my desk outside, because it's a hundred and three in my office. LEO The heat's not working? AINSLEY No, the heat's working great, I can vouch for that personally. LEO Okay. They walk in different directions. AINSLEY You should really have Fresca in the building! LEO [OS] I'll get right on that! CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT Congressman Matt Skinner knocks on his office door. He is a short, neatly-dressed good looking man in his thirties. JOSH Hey, Matt. SKINNER You let Donna out? [They shake hands.] JOSH Temporarily. She's having dinner. SKINNER Oh, with who? JOSH I guy she has no future with. SKINNER Why no future? JOSH Because I say so. You want some coffee or something? SKINNER Uh... you got a beer? JOSH Yeah. [gets two bottles from the refrigerator] It's too bad this is going to be rushed. SKINNER Sorry? JOSH It's too bad we're talking about this for the first time right now. SKINNER I would have thought that was by design. JOSH Really? SKINNER Ten days are up tomorrow. JOSH We know. SKINNER We know you know. [Josh and Skinner sit down.] Josh, the language doesn't prohibit same-sex marriage. JOSH Of course it does. SKINNER It ensures that, for the purposes of Federal programs... JOSH That government will define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. SKINNER That's right, while doing nothing to prohibit gay marriage on a state level. JOSH While doing nothing to prohibit it? SKINNER If you look at the language... JOSH Matt. SKINNER Yeah? JOSH When this bill was being discussed on the floor, there were some very ugly things said about homosexuals. SKINNER Yes. JOSH They were said by members of your own party. In fact, they were said by one of the guys who escorted you here tonight, who's sitting out in the lobby. SKINNER Yes, they were. JOSH You support this bill? SKINNER Yes, I do. JOSH Congressman... you're gay! SKINNER Yes, I am. They look at each other, and Skinner smiles. CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - NIGHT Leo enters as a Navy officer MARK CHASE is waiting for him. LEO What's going on, Mark? MARK CHASE The Sudanese captain of the tanker refused to let the Navy personnel on board. LEO Oh, man. MARK CH-47 Seahawk helicopter was dispatched from the destroyer 'USS Monterey.' The copter tried to land, but seamen obstructed the deck with freight. LEO What else did they obstruct the deck with? MARK They fired warning shots. LEO From what? MARK Russian-made Kalashnikovs. LEO AK-47s. MARK Yes, at which point the Seahawk retreated to its carrier group. LEO Where are we now? MARK Central Command's going to have two F-18s buzz the ship, fire warning shots over the bow. LEO There's no way this ends well. In fact, its' already over. MARK It's not over yet. LEO Trust me. I'll call the President. [walks out] FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT Margaret enters Leo's office, stands by his desk, and looks at him. LEO Yeah? MARGARET You have a phone call. LEO From whom? MARGARET Can I just say that all I meant before was that if I was married and got divorced and my divorce papers came and I was an alcoholic, I would want to be... LEO Who's on the phone? MARGARET The President. LEO [gives her a glare, picking up phone quickly] Yes, sir? BARTLET [VO] What's our goal? LEO I'm sorry, sir? BARTLET What are we trying to do? LEO We're trying to seize the ship and escort it to Bahrain. BARTLET All right. The F-18 pilots? LEO They fire warning shots, maybe take out the propeller... BARTLET Leo, just so they know--it's a tanker full of crude oil. If they miss the propeller and hit something else--- LEO They know. Excuse me, Mr. President. [whispering to Margaret] Would you stop looking at me like that? Margaret turns and leaves quickly. BARTLET What was that? LEO Margaret was giving me a look. BARTLET Why? LEO My divorce papers came today. She thinks I'm going to drink CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, THE PRESIDENT'S CABIN - CONTINUOUS Bartlet is in his cabin, talking on the phone. VALHALLA VECTOR - JET ROUTE 23 WHEELING, WEST VIRGINIA BARTLET I didn't know that. LEO Don't worry about it, Mr. President. I'll keep you posted. BARTLET Okay. Why don't I have a final draft of tomorrow morning's...? LEO Toby and Sam are working on it. BARTLET What's wrong with it? LEO Sam doesn't like the writing. BARTLET Sam wrote it. LEO He's taking another swing. BARTLET All right. [hangs up] CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - NIGHT Sam and are Toby working on the speech. TOBY Read it to me. SAM [reading] 'I'm calling on all Americans, young and old, Democrat and Republican, or none of the above, to make education a national priority.' TOBY Okay. SAM [sighing] "None of the above." It's a pedestrian phrase and has no place. [crosses it out] TOBY Yeah. SAM Also when was education not a national priority before? TOBY Right. [clearing throat] It's an easy fix. All we need to do is... SAM No. TOBY No what? SAM No, it's not an easy fix. TOBY Sam? SAM This should... TOBY Yeah? SAM Oratory should raise your heart rate. Oratory should blow the doors off the place. We should be talking about not being satisfied with past solutions, we should be talking about a permanent revolution. TOBY [pausing and thinking] Where have I heard that? SAM Permanent revolution? TOBY Yeah. SAM [darkly] I got it from a book. TOBY What book? SAM The Little Red Book. TOBY You think we should quote Mao Tse-tung? SAM We do need a permanent revolution. TOBY Still, I think we'll stay away from quoting Communists. SAM You think a Communist never wrote an elegant phrase? TOBY Sam... SAM How do you think they got every to be Communist? TOBY [sighing] Let's take a walk. SAM Toby, you're the one for the last six months who's been saying we need a radical approach... TOBY [raising his voice] Yes, yes I have, and I got shouted down in every meeting! I'd love to write a speech about a radical new approach to education, but we don't have one! So unless we can come up with an idea and implement it before land in Portland, I'd prefer not to paint a picture in the interest of great oratory. [sighs] Let's take a walk. SAM Can't great oratory inspire an idea that can be implemented? TOBY We had six months. We're not doing it half-assed, we're not doing it tonight. Let's go. SAM Where? TOBY Up and down the plane, get the blood flowing. SAM Mao knew how to get the blood flowing. TOBY Let's go. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT Donna enters the West Wing. Leo joins her, walking. LEO Hey, Donna. DONNA Good evening. LEO That's a nice dress. DONNA Thank you, sir. LEO You weren't wearing that dress earlier today, were you? DONNA You guys are sharp as tacks, you know that? LEO Did you have a date? DONNA Yeah. LEO With who? DONNA It doesn't matter. LEO Where'd ya eat? DONNA Phoebe's. LEO Ah, good. You know what you get there? Tell Dario, the chef, that you work for me and that you want flash-seared escolar with foie gras butter and a fresh juniper berry gravlax on a bed of shaved fennel. You have a nice '87 Petrus with that. [beat] What did you have? DONNA Two whiskey sours and a bowl of soup. LEO Ah, okay. DONNA I should tell Josh I'm back. LEO He's in the mess. DONNA Thanks. Hey, Leo. I hope you don't mind. [clears throat] Margaret mentioned that your divorce... LEO Oh, come on. DONNA She mentioned the papers came today... LEO Yeah. DONNA And she was worried that maybe... LEO Margaret worries if the sun is gonna rise. Go check in with Josh. DONNA Okay. He's in the mess? LEO Yeah. CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE MESS - NIGHT Josh and Matt are in the mess, talking over a few beers. SKINNER It passed. JOSH I know. SKINNER It passed the Senate... JOSH I know, man. SKINNER With 85 votes. 29 Democrats voted for it. It passed the House with 342 votes. Our polling numbers are the same as yours. 60% of Americans oppose legally sanctioned gay marriage. The people want the bill. Congress wants the bill. The President needs to sign the bill. JOSH Public opinion can be wrong, Matt. The public opposed interracial marriage and school integration. You want me to reach back into the nostalgia file? SKINNER That's entirely different. JOSH [exasperated] How's it different? SKINNER The government has a responsibility to protect the rights of minorities, but it can't impose the minority's values on the majority. JOSH Freedom of choice isn't a minority value just because the majority doesn't agree with the minority's choice. DONNA [enters] Excuse me. JOSH Hey. DONNA I'm back. SKINNER Hey, Donna. DONNA Hey, Congressman. SKINNER How was your date? DONNA Uh, it was good. Josh, I'll be around. JOSH Thanks. Donna exits, Matt and Josh watch her leave. SKINNER Josh, all the Marriage Recognition Act does is ensure that a radical social agenda isn't thrust upon an entire country that isn't ready for it yet. JOSH 32 States have passed laws banning same-sex marriage. The States are doing a fine job protecting themselves from a radical social agenda without a federal shield. SKINNER Josh... JOSH I like you guys who want to reduce the size of government and make it just small enough so it can fit in our bedrooms! SKINNER When do you have to call the President? JOSH [glancing at his watch] I got time. SKINNER [loosening his tie] Let's have another beer. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, PRESS AREA - NIGHT C.J. taps Carol on the shoulder, adjusts her Notre Dame cap, and enters the press seating. C.J. How's everybody doing? STEVE C.J., why'd the flight take off so late? C.J. We took off on time. STEVE No, I mean why was it scheduled late? I'm doing a side-bar. C.J. I'm not sure. The President had a budget meeting earlier, maybe they were expecting it to run long, I'll find out. Listen, I'd like you to give me back the draft copies of the morning education speech. We're going to replace them. REPORTER Why the change? C.J. Toby and Sam are doing some work. STEVE Is there a policy shift? C.J.. No. STEVE A new program? C.J. They're just polishing the language. STEVE Well, C.J., if there's a policy shift or a new program, it'd help to have the old text to compare it with... C.J. There isn't a policy shift, there isn't a new program, this is Sam being Sam. Charlie enters and gets C.J.'s attention. REPORTER Has political pressure from the NEA forced changes in the... C.J. Nothing's forced changes in the speech, there are no policy shifts and no new initiatives, I guarantee you. Carol? CAROL Yeah. C.J. [leaving with Charlie] Excuse me. CAROL Guys, they're in your press packets, if you could just hand them forward... CHARLIE He wanted me to tell you that we're approaching South Bend and that he likes to hear the song at a brisk and steady tempo. C.J. [staring at Charlie] Oh, kill me now! CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT Margaret enters. Leo is reading. MARGARET Leo. LEO [motions her to wait a second] Yeah? MARGARET Colonel Chase. LEO [as Mark enters] Mark, tell me we didn't hit anything. MARK No, F-18s fired over the bow and the tanker stopped. LEO We boarded? MARK Yeah, but the crew threw the log and the registry overboard. LEO Mark! MARK Also the ship's manifest. LEO How do these people think this is going to end? What is their best-case scenario? MARK I just go where you point me. I'm going to have to brief Fitzwallace now. LEO Yeah, thanks, Mark. Mark exits. LEO Margaret! MARGARET [entering] Yeah? LEO Can you get me Secretaries Hutchinson and Berryhill? MARGARET Yeah. LEO And I need Air Force One the next free minute he's got, okay? MARGARET Yeah. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, THE PRESIDENT'S CABIN - NIGHT The President is with two advisors, Steve Adamley and Mike. STEVE That's usually pretty hard to get through Congress. BARTLET Why? STEVE Subway money. BARTLET It's a northeastern thing? STEVE Once you get south of DC or west of Chicago, there aren't any subways, and the ones they've got, nobody's using. BARTLET What about Miami and San Francisco? Someone knocks. BARTLET Come in! STEVE L.A., Miami, San Francisco, maybe someday, but nobody's using them now. C.J. enters. Mike stares at her hat. She stares back. He smiles just a little. BARTLET So pavement's going to win this battle? ADVISOR [VO] Yes, sir. BARTLET Okay, thanks, Steve. They all rise as the advisors exit. STEVE Thank you, Mr. President. MIKE Thank you. BARTLET Thank you, Mike. STEVE [to C.J.] Nice hat. C.J. Thank you. BARTLET [putting on jacket] Ernesto Perez Balladares, former President of Panama. You know where he went to school? Notre Dame. C.J. Yes, sir, also Joe Garagiola. BARTLET Was that a crack? C.J. No, sir. I understand you'd like to hear the song now? BARTLET [as he and C.J. walk out] Yeah, but we gotta do it later. The Tokyo Exchange just opened and I'm gonna gauge the impact on Pacific Rim Banking Reforms. A subject economics scholars could take years on, I will take 20 minutes. C.J. Speaking of which, Mr. President, I was asked about the late departure tonight. BARTLET I thought we left on time. C.J. The late scheduled departure. BARTLET You don't like late flights? C.J. No, I was just repeating- Bartlet and C.J. enter another cabin. Sam and Toby are seated. BARTLET A long flight across the night? You know why late flights are good? Because we cease to be earthbound and burdened with practicality. Ask the impertinent question. Talk about the idea nobody has thought about yet. [pointing to Sam] Put it a different way. SAM Be poets. BARTLET If you absolutely must. SAM Tell Toby. TOBY Sam... SAM He doesn't want to use the phrase "permanent revolution." BARTLET In education? SAM Yes. TOBY Mr. President... BARTLET Mao took a lot of long plane flights, Toby. Look out your window. Is there anything more romantic than that? [pointing out cabin window] C.J. And that's why we left at 905? BARTLET No, we left at 905 because they thought my budget meeting might run over. But wouldn't that have been great if that was the reason? SAM [looking up] Yes. BARTLET [to Toby] You don't like "permanent revolution"? A phone rings in background. TOBY It's a nifty phrase, but I think if we call for a permanent revolution, people are, you know, gonna expect one. CHARLIE [holding phone] Mr. President? BARTLET We're flying, Toby. Live a little. [standing and walking to Charlie] Yeah? CHARLIE Mr. McGarry. BARTLET Oh, Leo, just take the damn boat... FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. AINSLEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT Ainsley is sitting at her desk with a fan blowing. Someone knocks on the door. DONNA Hello? AINSLEY Is that C.J.? DONNA [opening door] No, it's Donna Moss. AINSLEY Hi. DONNA [looks around the office] What happened? AINSLEY I cant't turn the heat down. DONNA Did you try? AINSLEY No. I just looked at the thermostat and got frustrated. DONNA [in disbelief] Really. AINSLEY Of course, I tried! I could grow papayas in here. DONNA It's a nice office. AINSLEY It's the steam pipe distribution venue. DONNA It's got character. AINSLEY I think I'm losing weight. DONNA Wanna come work upstairs in the bullpen? AINSLEY I need to concentrate. DONNA Nobody's here. AINSLEY No, I'm fine. DONNA Okay. I just came down to say hi. AINSLEY And I'd talk but I just... I need to get this done. DONNA I'll leave you alone. AINSLEY Thanks. DONNA What are you working on? AINSLEY I'm making notes for Josh. DONNA Ah. [sits down] AINSLEY Yeah. DONNA Interesting. AINSLEY Yeah. DONNA The Constitutional questions involved. AINSLEY Yeah. DONNA Full faith and credit. AINSLEY [looks up from her computer] Right. DONNA [pauses] Do you and I look alike? AINSLEY I'm sorry? DONNA Do we look alike? AINSLEY No. DONNA That's what I thought. I didn't think we looked alike. AINSLEY Yeah. DONNA Have you ever thought about dying your hair red? AINSLEY No. DONNA You should. AINSLEY Why? DONNA It'd look good. AINSLEY We don't look alike. DONNA No, and I tell people that. [pause] I'm going to work upstairs. [stands] AINSLEY I'll see you tomorrow. DONNA I think it's because of the alabaster skin and the farm girl looks that... AINSLEY You're wigging out, Donna. DONNA Yes. Are you sure you don't want to work upstairs? AINSLEY No. It may be hot down here but at least it's quiet. The pipes make a loud banging sound, startling Ainsley. AINSLEY Okay. She shuts her computer notebook and stands. AINSLEY Boy, I could use a Fresca. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT Josh and Skinner are talking. JOSH You're going to quote the bible to me? SKINNER I didn't... JOSH Really? SKINNER My point was hat the founders based the country on Judeo-Christian morality... JOSH [pacing] Matt... SKINNER ...and that the biblical concept of marriage maybe can't be separated from the law quite as easily as you'd like. JOSH The founding fathers made it very clear that they didn't want Judeo-Christian morality within 10 city blocks of the law. Matt! [pause] SKINNER What? Josh pauses, looking at Skinner. SKINNER What? JOSH Nothing. [sits] You understand that gay partners will be permanently ineligable for survivor benefits, Medicare, Medicaid.... SKINNER Which the government can't afford to pay anyway. JOSH So we caught a break there. [sighs] SKINNER It's getting pretty late. JOSH I had more notes. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, HALLWAY - NIGHT C.J. is walking down the hallway. C.J. Carol? CAROL Yeah? C.J. Did you get the old drafts back? CAROL Of the education speech? C.J. Yeah. CAROL Yeah. C.J. nods and turns to walk back down the hall. CAROL Except Danny's. C.J. [turns back toward Carol] Excuse me? CAROL Danny wanted to keep his. C.J. Excuse me. She storms past Carol into the reporters' area and stands in front of Danny. C.J. What's the problem? DANNY [looks up at her from his seat] How ya doing? C.J. What's the problem, Danny? DANNY C.J., there's no earthly reason why I should give you that draft back and you know it. You can't even believe you're asking me for it. So unless you're going to give me a hot towel and some chocolate chip cookies, you better... C.J. Everybody else gave it back, Danny. DANNY Then everybody else can read my paper tomorrow. C.J. [looks up and addresses all the reporters] I'm guaranteeing you all no substantive changes, no new policy initiatives. DANNY You don't have to guarantee me anything. I've got the old draft right here. C.J. [leans over and stage whispers to Danny] I certainly hope we don't accidentally send your luggage to Belgium on the way back. [walks away] DANNY [raising his voice] Yeah, I wouldn't want to find out what it's like to be inconvenianced by the White House! C.J. stops at the doorway and turns to speak to a reporter in the front. C.J. It was the budget meeting, by the way. STEVE What's that? C.J. The reason we took off late. It was the budget meeting. Although there's something to be said for... [pause] something to be said for... REPORTER Something to be said for what? C.J. Nothing. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - NIGHT In the staff cabin, Toby, Bartlet, and Sam are working on the education speech. Charlie is sitting in a chair writing. TOBY [reading from speech] "I was raised to appreciate the value of teachers and teaching. My grandmother, who began her teaching career in a one-room schoolhouse..." BARTLET Actually, it was two rooms. TOBY Okay. BARTLET Italian stonecutters were paying her to teach their kids English in the basement of the rectory. They put up a wall and made it two rooms as a thank you gift. TOBY We'll change it to two rooms. BARTLET I haven't heard the big idea yet. TOBY Sir, the speech is in pretty good shape. BARTLET Yeah. [reads from speech] "As you know, I began my campaign...'' [looks at Toby] What happened to 100,000 new teachers? TOBY Sir? BARTLET No money? TOBY No teachers. BARTLET Toby! TOBY There aren't a 100,000 new teachers. We can't make people be teachers. BARTLET We can give incentives. TOBY In certain public districts there are tax incentives... BARTLET Well, it's not doing the trick. TOBY No. No. I know. But for right now... SAM [looking at what Charlie is writing] What's that mean? CHARLIE I'm sorry? SAM What does that mean? CHARLIE I was just scribbling. SAM You wrote down, "Send them to college." CHARLIE [sounding scared] I was just scribbling. SAM What did you mean when you wrote down, "send them to college"? CHARLIE No, 'cause it's like circling horses in the paper but not making the bet. BARTLET [stands and walks toward Charlie] Tuition incentives. TOBY Mr. President... BARTLET Talk, Charlie. CHARLIE Mr. President, if this was an idea, somebody would have had it already. BARTLET I find fault with that formula. CHARLIE Well... BARTLET What? CHARLIE The government will send you to college or law school or medical school if you spend three years in the armed forces. Why not... SAM [pacing] College tuition to anyone who wants to go college in exchange for they teach in a public school where we send'em for three years. BARTLET Why can't that idea be floated? TOBY Anybody know how we pay for it? BARTLET That comes later. TOBY Yes, it does come next, so for the moment why don't we... BARTLET Kick this around. TOBY Mr. President... BARTLET [walks to the door] I'll be in my study. It's an incredible sky tonight. PILOT [via P.A.] Ladies and gentleman, this is Colonel Beach from the flight deck. We've been told there's choppy wind ahead and we've been cleared to climb to 42,000 feet. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT SKINNER [VO] 57% of the people... JOSH [VO] I know what 57% of the people say. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Josh and Skinner are walking down the hallway. JOSH 58% of the people say that gay spouses should receive health benefits and 54% say Social Security benefits and by the way we haven't talked about the 14th amendment. SKINNER Uh, Josh, the 14th amend... JOSH I think a strict interpretation of the Equal Protection Clause would dictate that homophobia can't be made into a law. SKINNER That's for the court to decide; but I think they'll uphold it. They enter JOSH'S OFFICE. Josh stands behind his desk facing Skinner. JOSH Lawrence Tribe disagrees with you. SKINNER Lawrence Tribe doesn't sit on the U.S. Supreme Court. JOSH Five Justices! SKINNER Josh, I came here as a friend. I think you know that. JOSH What does that have to do with it? SKINNER I came here 'cause I came here. Look. This is gonna be a law whether the President vetoes it or not. They have the votes in the Senate to override it. JOSH The Senate's not in session. The President could stick this in his pants pocket and it's vetoed. SKINNER And it will come back in January and you will have to live through this twice. And you will lose both times. JOSH Matt! SKINNER Ask me the question. JOSH He compared homosexuality to kleptomania and sex addition, Matt. SKINNER Yes. JOSH The Majority Leader. The leader of your own party. SKINNER He was wrong and I told him so. JOSH For cryin' out loud! SKINNER Ask me the question, Josh! JOSH How can you be a member of this party?!? SKINNER You've been holding that in for way too long, man. JOSH This party who says that who you are is against the law. SKINNER You know, I never understand why you gun control people don't all join the N.R.A. They've got two million members. You bring three million to the next meeting... call a vote... All those in favor of tossing guns - [Snaps fingers] - Bam! Move on. JOSH That's a heck of a strategy, Matt. I'll bring that up in a meeting. Josh sighs heavily as he collapses into his chair. SKINNER I agree with 95% of the Republican platform. I believe in local government. I'm in favor of individual rights rather than group rights. I believe free markets lead to free people and that the country needs a strong national defense. My life doesn't have to be about being a homosexual. It doesn't have to be entirely about that. Josh looks at Skinner thoughtfully before deciding not to continue. JOSH Thanks for coming by. SKINNER Thanks for the beer. [exits] CUT TO: INT. NORTHWEST LOBBY - CONTINUOUS Two men are waiting on Skinner. One sits while the other paces. Skinner walks up. MAN 1 Oh... there he is. [to Skinner] How'd it go? SKINNER He'll sign it. Josh observes the congressmen from his doorway. MAN 1 Ooo hoo! I can tell McDougal? SKINNER [puts on his coat] Yeah. As they head for the exit, one of them claps Skinner's shoulder. His hand lingers there. MAN 1 Good job, Congressman! SKINNER Take your hand off my shoulder, Congressman. The camera lingers on a conflicted Josh watching the exiting congressmen. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - NIGHT WATERSHED VECTOR - JET ROUTE 60 CASPER, WYOMING Toby sits behind a desk and Sam paces in front of the desk. TOBY The speech is fine now. SAM Toby. TOBY Speech is fine. SAM 100,000 college scholarships... TOBY It's an overly simplistic... SAM Toby... C.J. opens the office door which cuts Toby and Sam short. C.J. You wanted me? SAM You should tip the press off we might float an education initiative. C.J. [confused] But, I just told them... TOBY We're not floating. SAM We might float, I'm sayin' and you should give them a heads up. C.J. Excuse me. I need to go look like an idiot. C.J. leaves closing the office door behind her. TOBY We're not floating a policy initiative, Sam. I don't care if it's a trip to the moon on gossamer wings. SAM Look... TOBY It's pie in the sky to say nothing of patronizing to have privileged Ivy Leaguers play teacher to America's most vulnerable children. SAM The people taking advantage of this aren't going to be over-privileged. TOBY How do you suppose the teacher's union will feel about it? SAM They'll have 100,000 new members. TOBY All of whom will leave after three years. SAM Most of whom... TOBY And the kids will be abandoned as well. SAM They won't be abandoned. TOBY Their teachers will leave! SAM Once you're in fifth grade what do you care what your fourth grade teacher is doing? TOBY Sam. SAM Toby, these people are gonna be role models, to kids that don't have much contact with young, successful, college graduates many of whom will have grown up in neighborhoods just like theirs. TOBY Sam. SAM Toby, we could have... TOBY Sam! Where are we getting the money? [pauses to reign in his temper] Where are we getting the money? SAM I was really mortified that I froze up on that speech. TOBY Yeah. [pause] You should've told me a few days ago. SAM Yeah. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT Ainsley sits at a desk typing and Donna sits on the desk talking. DONNA I played the flute. I'm a flutist. In high school I was the best in my row. And, so I ask myself, if I pursued the flute professionally, would I be meeting interesting men? And the answer comes back to me. Probably not. AINSLEY I played the trombone. DONNA Did you meet interesting men? AINSLEY Yeah. DONNA Is, is it a hard instrument to learn? If I took it up now... Josh walks up and interrupts Donna who hops up off the desk and exits. JOSH Talk to me about the Full Faith and Credit Clause. AINSLEY It says that full faith and credit shall be given by each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state - it means if you're married in Maryland it's got to be recognized by Nebraska. JOSH So, how is the Marriage Recognition Act not unconstitutional? AINSLEY 'Cause it also says that Congress can proscribe the manner in which such acts and records are proved - which means they can decide what being married means within the context of Article IV. Donna is behind the glass partition in the bullpen and has answered a phone. DONNA Josh. JOSH Yeah? DONNA [pointing to phone sitting in cradle] Toby. Josh walks around the glass partition and picks up the phone. JOSH Yeah? TOBY What's goin' on? JOSH I'm going to tell him to sign the damn thing. TOBY Okay. JOSH How's his mood? TOBY He's frustrated. He's feeling... JOSH You know when he goes off on a thing Toby, he expects you to bring him in. He wants you to do it so he doesn't have to do it himself. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, STAFF CABIN - CONTINUOUS TOBY Josh, off the top of your head, what do you think about tuition incentives for... Toby stops mid-question as he hears an announcement on the PA begin. PILOT [via P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen, from the flight deck. We're 82 miles south of the runway and beginning our descent. We'd like to ask you all to find a seat. Thank you. JOSH What was that? TOBY We're landing. JOSH No, I mean, what were you going to... TOBY Nothing. JOSH All right. I'll talk to you later. Josh and Donna begin making their way out of the bullpen past Ainsley. Josh walks a pace in front of Donna. JOSH I'm gonna talk to Leo. AINSLEY I'll see you guys Monday. DONNA Good night. JOSH Take it easy. Josh and Donna continue walking down the HALLWAY. DONNA Did you know she plays the trombone? JOSH I didn't. DONNA Tonight stunk, Josh. JOSH I'm sorry about that. DONNA I didn't mean having to work, although that was a treat. I meant the guy. JOSH Who was he? DONNA A lobbyist with Travis West. He was pretty full of himself and without a lot of cause to be. JOSH An obnoxious insurance lobbyist? What were the odds? DONNA That isn't funny, Josh. JOSH I gotta go see Leo. Josh turns and continues walking down the hallway as Donna veers off to start heading for the exit. DONNA I'll call you in the morning. Josh stops walking and turns back towards Donna. JOSH You look really great in that dress tonight, Donna. You should buy it for yourself. Josh smiles at Donna and again turns to walk towards Leo's office. Donna smiles as she watches Josh walk away before exiting herself. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT Leo sits on his couch with a phone sitting next to him. BARTLET [on speakerphone] Yeah? Leo doesn't answer immediately. Bartlet repeats himself less patiently. BARTLET Yeah? LEO We hold the ship in Bahrain. BARTLET It doesn't do anything to hold the ship in Bahrain LEO Sir, we hold the ship in Bahrain and then send a sample of the oil to the U.S. customs lab in San Francisco. If the point of origin violates sanctions... CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, THE PRESIDENT'S CABIN - NIGHT BONNEVILLE-3 LANDING ROUTE PORTLAND, OREGON Bartlet is standing talking on the phone. BARTLET Yeah. You know what's going to happen? They'll sell off the cargo in a friendly port. 780,000 metric tons of gas oil against a two million dollar fine for the oil company. LEO Mr. President. BARTLET Which their profits from the sale will more than cover. We're not providing much of a disincentive to evade U.N. sanctions. Josh enters LEO'S OFFICE and takes a seat in the chair near Leo. LEO What else is there to do? BARTLET If we're going to have sanctions at all, I think we should make them stick. I think that we should confiscate the cargo, seize the ship, sell the oil and use the money to beef up anti-smuggling operations. LEO You don't mean tonight. You mean in the future... Bartlet sighs heavily in resignation. C.J. enters the room. C.J. We're landing, Mr. President. BARTLET [to Leo] Yeah. In the future. LEO Okay. Josh wants to talk about the... BARTLET [to Leo] Hang on. [to C.J.] You need me? C.J. I can wait. BARTLET [into phone] Yeah. JOSH The Marriage Recognition Act. BARTLET [sighs] Yeah. CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, PRESS AREA - NIGHT C.J. approaches the front of the Press Area facing the reporters. As C.J. begins to speak, Toby approaches and stands near C.J.. C.J. Folks, we'll be landing in just a few minutes. Follow the blue signs to your bus. Oh, one thing before we land, when I said before that there'd be absolutely no policy shifts or new initiatives in the education speech tomorrow... That was correct, except it's possible there might be a policy shift or new initiative in the education speech tomorrow. The reporters groan and grumble. TOBY There isn't going to be a change. REPORTER Toby! TOBY There isn't going to be a change! [to C.J.] Danny? C.J. He's not going to give it back. Toby heaves a sigh and walk over to Danny then sits in the seat beside him. TOBY Danny, Sam choked hard on the last draft and wants to burn it. Danny pauses a couple of seconds to think it over. DANNY No problem. C.J. [incredulous] No problem? DANNY [to Toby] Tell him to relax. He'll get his swing back. TOBY Yeah. Toby stands and begins to walk away. DANNY Tell him I didn't read it. TOBY [smiling slightly] Thanks. Toby exits with the draft in hand. C.J. You were just having a little go at me, weren't you? DANNY Yeah. It's a long flight. C.J. So you decided to kill time by... DANNY Yeah. You know why? C.J. Tell me you went to Notre Dame. DANNY Maybe next time you won't be so quick to mock on the eve of a Michigan game. C.J. frowns at Danny a moment before turning and walking towards the front of the plane away from the Press Area. C.J. [to herself] There must be an escape hatch here of some kind. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT Josh continues his conversation with Bartlet. Leo paces the office listening. JOSH The constitutional argument... BARTLET I don't care about the constitutional argument. It's gay bashing. It's legislative gay bashing. How do I put my name on it? JOSH I wouldn't, sir. I'd put it away. BARTLET Pocket veto's a politician's way out. JOSH They'll send the bill again when they're in session. Meanwhile, we focus on the Employment Non-discrimination Act. BARTLET If I'm going to sign it in January, why am I vetoing it now? JOSH As a symbolic gesture to the gay community. BARTLET I'm sure the gay community can't wait to thank me. LEO Mr. President. BARTLET This is just wrong. LEO Yeah. BARTLET [getting worked up] You can look at the policy numbers and Article IV and Social Security benefits. It doesn't matter. It's just wrong. We shouldn't be defining love and we certainly shouldn't be ill-defining it. It's wrong. This is the job for... This is the job of somebody else. LEO Well, right now it's ours. BARTLET It's wrong. LEO Sir. BARTLET I should get out a rubber stamp that says 'Josiah Bartlet votes no.' JOSH That's just what the conservatives are hoping you'll do. BARTLET I should get out a rubber stamp! Bartlet heaves an exasperated sigh. LEO Sir. BARTLET Put it in a drawer. LEO Yes, sir. JOSH Thank you, Mr. President. LEO We'll talk at the hotel. [hangs up] Leo and Josh sit quietly a second. JOSH Okay. LEO All right. JOSH Have a good night. LEO You too. JOSH Hey Leo, Margaret mentioned... LEO Oh, come on Josh! JOSH No, she just said... LEO My divorce papers came today. She thinks I'm going to drink. JOSH It seems like a pretty good reason to. LEO I'm an alcoholic, I don't need a good reason to. JOSH You wanna have coffee someplace? LEO I wanna go home. JOSH Okay. LEO I'll see you on Monday. Josh exits. Leo grabs his coat and scarf and starts putting them on. LEO [calls] Margaret, I'm going. Margaret stops what she's doing and walks into Leo's office. MARGARET [with a resigned tone, yet worried expression] Okay. Leo looks at Margaret for a moment. LEO [quietly] You're a good girl. Leo turns and leaves, closing his office door behind him as Margaret watches. MARGARET [pacified] Okay. Margaret closes the door between her office and Leo's as she steps back into her own office are CUT TO: INT. AIR FORCE ONE, THE PRESIDENT'S CABIN - NIGHT Bartlet is sitting in a chair reading something as C.J. enters. C.J. Sir? BARTLET Yeah? C.J. You're off the phone? BARTLET Yeah. C.J. crosses room and sits on bench next to Bartlet. BARTLET There was a question? C.J. For a sidebar, on the game tomorrow. She indicates the hat to show she means the Notre Dame game. C.J. Why did you go to Notre Dame? BARTLET Why not? C.J. Bearing in mind that I'm just repeating someone else's question. You were accepted at Harvard, Yale, and Williams. Why did you go to Notre Dame? BARTLET Because I was thinking about becoming a priest. C.J. Really? BARTLET Yeah. C.J. What happened? BARTLET I met Abbey. C.J. [obviously touched] Why don't you ever give me answers like that when we're running for something? BARTLET Because I like to bother you. C.J. Well, I shall not be defeated. BARTLET Sit down. C.J. Okay. [sits] Toby enters the office carrying a folder. He extracts some pages and hands them to Bartlet. TOBY Mr. President. BARTLET Toby. TOBY Here's the final draft. BARTLET Toby, you should sit down. We're landing in one minute and ten seconds. TOBY How do you know that? BARTLET I set my watch to the cockpit computer. You should sit down. TOBY Thank you. BARTLET Do you know why the Assistant Energy Secretary is on the plane? TOBY You have a meeting with him on the way back. BARTLET That's right. TOBY I think Charlie's idea was a good one. I think you should ask Leo to put together a team to study the feasibility of appropriations for a pilot program with 100 teachers. BARTLET They're taking the tanker to Bahrain and then the company's going to make a profit. TOBY Yes, sir. BARTLET The Marriage Recognition Act is going to be law. In the background we hear the landing gear go down... TOBY Yeah. BARTLET 100 new teachers? TOBY Yeah. BARTLET Instead of 100,000. TOBY Yeah. BARTLET Well, it's a start I guess. We hear the screech of the airplane's wheels touching down. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 2.3 -- 'The Portland Trip' Original Airdate: November 15, 2000, 9:00 P.M. EST