Season 2 – Episode 12 – “The Drop In”

Episode Summary:

Leo (John Spencer) tries to convince an unenthusiastic President Bartlet (Martin Sheen) about the merits of an expensive and errant missile defense system while the chief executive ponders the political benefits of chiding hard-core environmentalists over the actions of eco-terrorists when he addresses their convention. Meanwhile, Bartlet endures the formalities of accepting the appointments of a range of foreign ambassadors but he enjoys one in particular — the presentation of the charming Lord John Marbury (Roger Rees) who returns as Great Britain’s new U.S. ambassador. In addition, C.J. (Allison Janney) treads lightly when she is dispatched to New York to dissuade a comedian, Corey Sykes (Rocky Carroll), who once uttered a well-publicized but offensive joke in the President’s presence from performing at the annual Will Rogers dinner.

Script:

THE WEST WING
"THE DROP-IN"
TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: LAWRENCE O'DONNELL JR.
DIRECTED BY: LOU ANTONIO

TEASER

FADE IN: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY
Military personnel are standing and sitting around the table. Leo enters.

LEO
Are we patched into the Pentagon?

COLONEL CHASE
Yeah.

LEO
Can we hear them?

COLONEL CHASE
Yeah.

LEO
We can hear what they're saying at command?

COLONEL CHASE
Yeah.

Leo looks around the room impatiently.

LEO
Why can't I hear anything?

An officer holds up hand in a 'wait' gesture.

LEO
Guys, why aren't we hearing anything?

MAN
[on radio] 1.2 seconds to target launch...

LEO
Okay, why don't you just tell me to shut up?

MAN 1
[on radio] We have a target launch sequence.

MAN 2
[on radio] Go flight.

MAN 1
[on radio] Kwajalein Atoll, how do you read?

MAN 3
[on radio] We read you 5 by 5, command. Positive target launch sequence.

LEO
Here we go.

MAN 1
[on radio] Target launch in 5, 4, 3, 2... Target is aloft.

MAN 2
[on radio] We confirm target launch.

LEO
How long do we have?

COLONEL CHASE
Two minutes, ten seconds.

LEO
[looks at his watch] I'm going to see if I can get the President to watch
this. [leaves]

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY
The President and the next Thailand Ambassador and his family are inside.

BARTLET
Mr. Sumatra, I understand you're a sports fan.

SUMATRA
Yes, sir, Mr. President. Golf.

BARTLET
Okay. Well, golf's not a sport. It's fine. Don't get me wrong but let's not
you and
I confuse it with things that men do.

SUMATRA
[smiling] Yes, sir.

BARTLET
You know, we're going to Bangkok in June, I think. [to Charlie] June,
Charlie?

CHARLIE
[checks his palm pilot] Yes, sir.

SUMATRA
You're staying at the Oriental?

BARTLET
Best hotel in the world, right?

SUMATRA
Your own James Michener wrote many of his books at the Oriental and one of
his
typewriters remains in the suite they named for him.

BARTLET
Is that right?

SUMATRA
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
[to Charlie] Make sure I see that.

CHARLIE
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
[to diplomatic aide] Tom?

TOM
Mr. President, it is with great pleasure that I present his excellency,
Tada Sumatra of
Thailand and by request of the secretary of state ask that you accept his
credentials
from King Rhumibol Adulyadej [Bartlet accepts the papers from Sumatra.] as
Thailand's
ambassador to the United States.

BARTLET
Mr. Sumatra, I accept your letter of credence from King Adulyadej and by
affixing my
signature and seal, [signs the paper] do hereby declare you to be an
ambassador
extraordinary and plenipotentiary. [Sumatra bows and accepts the credentials
back.]
May our people know peace and prosperity. [They shake
hands.] Congratulations.

SUMATRA
Thank you, Mr. President.

BARTLET
We've some gifts here and we're going to stand for pictures.

TOM
[directing Sumatra] Ambassador, right here.

Sumatra's wife joins them for the photographs.

BARTLET
[to Mrs. Sumatra] Madam, congratulations.

CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Charlie enters.

CHARLIE
He's got another two minutes and then I've got to pull him.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
Okay.

LEO
[enters] Hey, Charlie, is he done?

CHARLIE
He's got about another two minutes.

LEO
I'd like him in the situation room. Can I pull him?

CHARLIE
Should I tell him it's an emergency?

LEO
It's not an emergency, just time sensitive.

CHARLIE
Okay. [walks into the Oval Office]

LEO
[to Mrs. Landingham] What are you looking at?

MRS. LANDINGHAM
You're testing that preposterous contraption again.

LEO
It's not preposterous. It's not a contraption and mind your own business.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
In my day, we knew how to take care of ourselves.

LEO
Well, in your day, you could pretty much turn back the Indians with a Daniel
Boone
musket, couldn't you?

MRS. LANDINGHAM
Ah, sarcasm. The grumpy man's wit.

LEO
Sharpen a pencil, would ya?

BARTLET
[enters from Oval Office] What's up?

LEO
The target's in the air. They're going to launch the intercept any moment.

BARTLET
And I'm sure someone will come along soon thereafter and tell it didn't work.

LEO
Why do you gotta take that attitude?

BARTLET
Cause it's not going to work.

LEO
What do I get if it works?

BARTLET
What do you get?

LEO
Yes.

BARTLET
Well, I can't make you Thailand's ambassador to the United States because
I just signed
that guy's letter. [points to Oval Office]

LEO
Come with me to the situation room.

Leo turns to leave. Bartlet looks skeptically at Mrs. Landingham, then
follows Leo
downstairs.

BARTLET
You know what you are? You are the Charlie Brown of missile defense. The
Pentagon is Lucy.

LEO
I'm not familiar with the reference.

BARTLET
Peanuts. Charlie Brown.

LEO
I've heard of them. I'm just not conversant in them.

BARTLET
Why?

LEO
I've never read the comics.

BARTLET
Leo, were you born at age 55?

LEO
I know there's a dog.

BARTLET
Charlie Brown wanted to kick a football and Lucy would hold it, except she'd
pull it
away at the last minute and Charlie Brown would fall on his butt.

LEO
That's funny?

BARTLET
No, but each time Lucy would find a way to convince Charlie Brown that this
time she
wouldn't pull the ball away. But she would and, once again, Charlie Brown
would fall
on his butt.

LEO
And that's funny?

BARTLET
Its' satirical.

LEO
What's it satirizing?

BARTLET
The DOD bringing you to the Situation Room every time they run a new missile
test so
that you come to me and tell me how great it works so I'll put money in the
NMD system.

LEO
You should put money in the NMD system.

BARTLET
It doesn't work.

LEO
It will work. One day soon.

LEO
There're a couple of three star generals in there. Call any of 'em Lucy and
you're on
your own.

They enter THE SITUATION ROOM.

BARTLET
Hey, where are we?

GENERAL 1
The kill vehicle is on a clear trajectory.

LEO
What's the time to the target.

GENERAL 1
Fifty seconds. Colonel, could you walk the President through?

COLONEL CHASE
Yes, sir. Mr. President, approximately 3 minutes, a missile was launched
with a
simulated nuclear warhead from the Kwajalein Atoll in the South Pacific.

BARTLET
And it's going to hit my garage in New Hampshire when?

COLONEL CHASE
Well, sir, once the missile cleared cloud cover, it was detected by the
early warning
satellites, which launched an interceptor, or kill vehicle.

MAN 1
[on radio] 10 seconds to SRB separation.

OFFICER
SRB separation is solid rocket boosters separation. That means a
high-resolution radar
on the ground has gotten a lock on signal from the kill vehicle.

MAN 1
[on radio] Go SRB separation.

MAN 2
[on radio] Confirm solid rocket booster separation.

MAN 1
[on radio] Kill vehicle's away. Coming over a 044.

MAN 3
[on radio] 20 seconds to target intercept.

MAN 1
[on radio] Go flight.

BARTLET
So what happens now?

LEO
In 20 seconds, it collides with the nuclear warhead.

BARTLET
Where?

LEO
Outer space.

COLONEL
17 miles above the earth's atmosphere.

BARTLET
Okay, but we don't have anybody out there right now do we?

LEO
Sir...

BARTLET
When we stay at the Oriental in Bangkok, we have to check out Michener's
typewriter.

MAN 1
[on radio] Intercept in 5, 4...

OFFICER
Here we go.

MAN 1
[on radio] 3, 2, 1.

Silence. As everyone hangs their heads, an officer sighs.

BARTLET
Is that silence a pretty good sign?

LEO
No.

MAN 1
[on radio] Negative intercept.

GENERAL
Have we got sensor readings yet?

COLONEL CHASE
No.

MAN 1
[on radio] Negative intercept. KM warhead has overshot it's target.

BARTLET
It was just enthusiastic.

LEO
By how much?

GENERAL
Uh, Leo...

LEO
[sternly] By how much did it miss the target?

GENERAL
Colonel?

COLONEL
137.

LEO
We missed the target by 137 feet?

COLONEL
Miles.

LEO
[looks at him, incredulous] We missed it by 137 miles?!

BARTLET
When you consider the size of outer space, Leo, that's not so bad.

COLONEL
Sir?

BARTLET
By the way, the words you're looking for are "Oh good grief." [walks out]

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *

ACT ONE

FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY
An aerial view of outside of White House.

CUT TO: INT. THE BRIEFING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
C.J. is on the podium.

C.J.
For those of you who haven't seen it, it's a very lovely ceremony. It's
relatively
informal, the ambassadors are led into the Oval Office, probably with a few
friends
and family. They chat for a few moments with President, maybe exchange some
gifts,
and they're officially presented by the State Department's Chief of Protocol,
who
asks the President to accept the ambassador's credentials and the President
signs
a letter to that effect. [points to a reporter] Yes?

REPORTER 1
C.J., you're accepting four new ambassadors this week. Is there an order or
protocol
in which they're seen?

C.J.
There is! It's the order in which they arrived in Washington. This morning
the President
saw Ambassador Sumatra of Thailand, then will be Peter Hans of Sweden,
followed by her
Excellency Renee Ernesto of Argentina, Noah Jolla of Burkina Faso and the
newly named
British Ambassador to the United States will be arriving in the United States
just as
soon as he's been newly named.

REPORTER 2
I thought it was gonna be...

REPORTER 1
Yeah.

REPORTER 2
I forgot his name...

C.J.
Anthony Brass.

REPORTER 1
Yeah.

C.J.
Anthony Brass cited family obligations at home, and withdrew his name over
the weekend.

REPORTER 3
Yeah, but weren't they gonna replace him with...

C.J.
Sir Christopher Nealingroach, yes. Sir Christopher has been diagnosed with
a rare form
of encephalitis, contracted during his recent posting to Kenya.

REPORTER 1
So who's the new British ambassador?

C.J.
I don't know. As soon as the State Department tells me, I'll know. In the
meantime, it's
pool photographs only until tomorrow night when there'll be a cocktail
reception for the
new ambassadors. That's all. [Reporters get up and leave] Does anybody wanna
know who's
been here the longest? The Dean of the Diplomatic Corps...anybody? Guys,
you know I
study these things just for you! It's Prince Vandaar Ben Sultan of Saudi
Arabia.

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
C.J. is talking to Carol.

C.J.
I could have also told them that Burkina Faso has a population of eleven
million and
in even years they host Africa's largest crops market.

CAROL:
Yes.

C.J.
I need a chance to use that knowledge.

SAM
[comes up from behind] C.J.!

C.J. passes paper to Carol, who leaves. Sam walks with C.J.

C.J.
You know the chief crops of Burkina Faso?

SAM
No.

C.J.
Millet, sorghum, rice, peanuts and cotton.

SAM
[beat] You should mention in your afternoon briefing that we've accepted a
last minute
invitation for the President to address the Global Defense Council tomorrow
night at
the Sheraton.

C.J.
I thought we passed on the GDC.

SAM
Well we passed on it three months ago when we thought the President was
going to be in
South America. But the trip got canceled and they lost their keynote speaker,
so we're
gonna use this to launch CARE, and that's what I want you to announce at
the afternoon
briefing.

C.J.
CARE?

SAM
Yeah.

C.J.
Ok...

SAM
Clean Air Rehabilitation Effort.

C.J.
Yeah.

SAM
You don't know what it is.

C.J.
It's an effort by which we clean the air and rehabilitate it.

SAM
Okay, how could you...

C.J.
I'm not involved in the nuances of environmental policy!

SAM
Which will come as a relief to environmentalists.

C.J.
Sam!

SAM
I'll brief you later.

C.J.
I knew the crops of Burkina Faso!

SAM
I'll brief you later.

Sam leaves C.J. and walks into THE ROOSEVELT ROOM.
Bonnie, Ginger, and several other people are seated around the table with
notepads and
laptops.

SAM
Have we heard from Toby?

BONNIE
No.

SAM
Do we know if he's landed?

BONNIE
No.

SAM
How is everyone doing in here?

BONNIE
They're doing fine.

SAM
Is global warming a real environmental condition, or merely a temporary
anomaly? Is it
a global threat, or the exaggerated claim of alarmists? The time for such
debate is over.
As of today, it shall be the unequivocal position of the United States
government that
global warming constitutes a clear and present danger to the health and
future well-being
of this planet and all its inhabitants. Did somebody get that?

GINGER
Yes.

SAM
I didn't see anyone writing.

BONNIE
We already wrote it.

SAM
I just added a thing!

GINGER
We got it.

SAM
I just added "the time for such debate is over."

GINGER
We got it!

SAM
It sets up the whole reveal.

GINGER
Yes.

SAM
Okay. 22 trillion in benefits versus one half a trillion in compliance costs
we're
making sure that's right?

BONNIE
Yes.

SAM
We're making sure in a couple places?

BONNIE
They're making sure.

SAM
I wanna cite three different sources.

BONNIE
Fine.

SAM
And we don't know if Toby's back?

BONNIE
Sam! You'll know as soon as he's back!

Toby walks in in a coat and carrying luggage.

GINGER
[holding a cell phone] Sam...

SAM
Is it Toby?

GINGER:
Yeah...

SAM
Can I have the phone?

GINGER
[points] He's standing right there.

Sam turns and sees Toby in the HALLWAY.

SAM
Thanks. 22,000 fewer respiratory related hospital admissions? I don't wanna
use the
stats unless I have three sources. [walks over to Toby] How was your trip?

TOBY
It was fine. [clears throat] What's goin' on?

SAM
The President's gonna speak at the GDC conference tomorrow night.

TOBY
I'm sorry?

SAM
He's gonna launch the...

TOBY
What are you talking about?

SAM
He's gonna launch CARE.

TOBY
Since when?

SAM
Their keynote speaker fell through.

TOBY
When was this decision made?

SAM
Last night.

TOBY
Why wasn't I involved?

SAM
You were in Kansas City.

TOBY
I have a telephone.

SAM
Toby!

TOBY
I have a damn telephone Sam!

SAM
Frankly, I didn't think... I thought there'd be a consensus.

TOBY
Who was at this meeting?

SAM
It was me, Carl Todd of the EPA, James Siskin was there... Toby we've been
looking for
an opportunity to launch...

TOBY
Leo wasn't there?

SAM
No... been looking for a platform for this, the opportunity...

TOBY
Let me understand...

SAM
...presented itself. What's the problem?

They go into TOBY'S OFFICE.

TOBY
There are a number of problems, anyone of which I could have told you about,
had you
gotten me on the phone! Well, one thing, we already blew off the AFL CIO,
cause we told
them the President was gonna be in South America.

SAM
The President was gonna be in South America, now he's not.

TOBY
Instead, he's speaking for labor's good friend, the environmental lobby!

SAM
No...

TOBY
Also, he's the President of the United States, he's nobody's understudy! You've
got
him goin' out there like... Joey Bishop!

SAM
I gotta say, I hear all that, but the President, he's very enthusiastic.

TOBY
Of course he's enthusiastic.

SAM
I'm sayin', I wasn't in there twisting his arm! I told him this opportunity
has opened
up, that we had enough notes so that I could finish the speech in time. He
asked us a
few questions, we answered them and he said yes!

TOBY
Alright... I don't... alright.

SAM
It's gonna be a good speech!

TOBY
Yeah.

GINGER
[enters] They need you.

SAM
Thanks. [leaves]

GINGER
How was the trip?

TOBY
Fine. I need to see Leo.

GINGER
Yeah.

Ginger leaves as Toby picks up the phone.

CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY
Josh is standing against the wall by the door, while talking to C.J. on the
speaker phone.

C.J.
It's not gonna be Sir Christopher Nealingroach.

JOSH
[sounding strained] I heard!

C.J.
I said it's not gonna be Sir Christopher Nealingroach.

JOSH
And I said I heard you!

CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

C.J.
But I like to say Sir Christopher Nealingroach.

JOSH
Who's it gonna be?

C.J.
I'm waiting to hear from someone at the State Department.

JOSH
Me too.

C.J.
Maybe it'll be Sir Christopher Nealingroach.

CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

JOSH
Can I stop talking to you now?

C.J.
What are you doing?

JOSH
I'm standing with my back straight against the wall.

C.J.
Why?

JOSH
I was told by the doctors it would relax me.

The door opens. Donna enters and hits Josh with the door.

DONNA
Josh... [turns and sees him behind the door]

C.J.
Gotta go! [hangs up]

JOSH
Yeah.

DONNA
Are you ok?

JOSH
Yeah. What?

DONNA
Is it true that Leo can't stand a guy named Lord John Marbury?

JOSH
Why?

DONNA
A reporter asked me.

JOSH
What's a reporter doing talking to you?

DONNA
He's a friend of a friend.

JOSH
Leo McGarry has nothing but respect and affection for John Marbury.

DONNA
That's what I said.

JOSH
Good, 'cause Leo thinks he's a lunatic.

DONNA
He's very handsome.

JOSH
That may be so, but Leo thinks he's a lunatic.

DONNA
Are you threatened by his brilliance?

JOSH
No.

DONNA
You seem to be threatened by his brilliance.

JOSH
How do you know he's brilliant?

DONNA
I saw his picture.

JOSH
I'm not threatened by his brilliance, nor am I threatened by his good looks.

DONNA
What about his charm?

JOSH
I'm not threatened at all...

DONNA
I'm sorry, I meant Leo.

JOSH
Neither Leo or I are threatened by his brains, his looks or his charm. He is,
however,
a lunatic Brit and we're grateful there's an ocean between us.

DONNA
There isn't anymore.

JOSH
There isn't what?

DONNA
An ocean between you.

JOSH
Please, don't tell me...

DONNA
He's the new British ambassador to the United States.

JOSH
[sounding strained again] Yeah... [gets up]

DONNA
He's dreamy. [walks over to the door]

JOSH
I'm just gonna, you know, stand next to the wall for a while longer.

DONNA
Okay.

She throws the door open, which slams into the wall very close to him,
and leaves.
Josh groans.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - DAY
Josh is sitting at his desk while Toby knocks on the door and enters.

TOBY
Josh.

JOSH
Okay, what I need people to do is knock.

TOBY
I did knock.

JOSH
But you didn't wait for a response.

TOBY
Why would I?

JOSH
'Cause, I could have been relaxing by standing behind that door.

TOBY
[beat] All right.

JOSH
How was your trip?

They walk out of the office and head through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA.

TOBY
It was fine. So we're pitchhitting at the GDC conference.

JOSH
For the record, I didn't think it was a good idea and I said so.

TOBY
And it seems to have helped. Look, we can't appear to be at the beckon call
of the
environment!

JOSH
We could try insulting them.

TOBY
Yes.

JOSH
I'm kidding.

TOBY
I'm not!

JOSH
What do you have?

TOBY
Environmental terrorists burned down a ski resort and the GDC didn't comment.

JOSH
Why did environmental terrorists burn down a ski resort?

TOBY
To save the lynx.

JOSH
The links?

TOBY
Yeah.

JOSH
Environmental terrorists burned down a ski resort to save a golf course?

TOBY
It's an animal.

JOSH
Sam's going to have strong objections.

TOBY
I know.

JOSH
All right, you want me to talk to Leo?

TOBY
I'm going to talk to him. I want you to talk to C.J..

JOSH
About what?

TOBY
The Will Roger's dinner is going to ask Cornelius Sykes to host.

JOSH
[stops and faces Toby] You're kidding me!

TOBY
Nope.

JOSH
He didn't laugh at the joke.

TOBY
Talk to C.J.

JOSH
Yeah. [turns away to leave]

TOBY
Why do you relax by standing behind the door?

JOSH
[comes back] I'm not standing behind the door, I'm standing with my back
straight
against the wall, so that if...

TOBY
I don't care. [leaves abruptly]

JOSH
'kay.

CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY
Leo is talking on the phone, while Toby enters.

LEO
Keith. Keith, I can't tell him that. I can't tell the President that nine
out of ten
things went right, he's going to say, "Yeah, but we didn't hit anything!" Would
you
please? Thank you. [hangs up the phone, to Toby] We had an NMD test this
morning.
We were successful in nine out of ten criteria.

TOBY
We missed.

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
By how much?

LEO
We were trying to shoot down an incoming intercontinental ballistic missile;
once you
miss, it really doesn't matter by how much.

TOBY
I suppose.

LEO
A hundred and thirty-seven miles.

TOBY
[rolls his eyes] Sam just told me about his speech.

LEO
Which speech?

TOBY
The GDC.

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
Leo.

LEO
[defensively] I wasn't in the meeting.

TOBY
How did that...

LEO
I wasn't in the meeting! It happened fast.

TOBY
I'm saying how'd it...

LEO
It happened fast. Sam pitched it, and the President wanted to do it.

TOBY
Leo, how could you not be in that meeting?

LEO
'Cause I'm trying to get the President to warm up to a missile shield that's
supposed
to save humanity and there's a limit to the number of rooms I can be in at
once! You
want to file a complaint?

TOBY
No.

LEO
Good.

TOBY
Here's what I think...

LEO
Screw the environmental lobby?

TOBY
[angry] Did I say that? Did I say, 'screw the environmental lobby?'

LEO
You didn't say anything.

TOBY
That's right, and before I even open my mouth, you decide I'm going to say
'screw the
environmental lobby?'

LEO
I apologize.

TOBY
There's an extent to which we've gotta screw the environmental lobby.

LEO
Yep.

TOBY
A clear and public demonstration that the President's not beholden to them
isn't a bad
idea right now.

LEO
You think he should walk into their ballroom and smack them around?

TOBY
I really do, for thirty seconds out of a fortyminute address announcing the
initiative
they love.

LEO
How do you think they're gonna feel about the 30 seconds?

TOBY
Not that good, but that's the point. We don't have to move to our right if
there's an
opportunity to spank the people to our left.

LEO
Anything in particular we want to spank them for?

TOBY
Failing to publicly admonish acts of eco-terrorism.

LEO
The GDC doesn't engage in acts of eco-terrorism.

TOBY
Yes, but they fail to publicly admonish those who do.

LEO
For example?

TOBY
A 12 million dollar Colorado ski development that was under construction
was set on
fire because it threatened the habitat of a rare local lynx.

LEO
Is a lynx a...?

TOBY
I don't know. I... I think... I think it's like a possum or something,
and it doesn't
matter...

LEO
All right, tell Sam to find a place to out it.

TOBY
I don't want it in the advanced text. I don't want Sam and his fourteen
objections.
It should just be a drop-in.

LEO
I'll talk to the President. Anything else?

TOBY
137 miles.

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
Is that a lot?

LEO
Yeah.

TOBY
Okay. [leaves]

CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - DAY
C.J. is sitting in the first row, a few reporters with notes behind her,
Sam is
perched on the windowsill. They are going over his speech.

SAM
We have 30 minutes at the ballroom after the speech to spin and obviously,
the next
morning as well. Among the things you want to be emphasizing are what?

REPORTER 1
[chewing a sandwich] America is the world's biggest emitter of carbon
dioxide.

SAM
We have 4% of the population. We are responsible for 25% of the Greenhouse
emission.
[stands] How are we going to reduce those levels of Greenhouse emissions,
you ask?

C.J.
Through the Clean Air Rehabilitation Effort.

SAM
Yes, which you can read about in bullet points, beginning on page 11. Please
don't skip
the footnotes, and please, don't just read what's underlined.

The reporters sigh. Sam munches on a baby carrot.

C.J.
Question.

SAM
[chewing] Yes.

C.J.
Were you able to get girls to go out with you in High School?

SAM
Yes.

C.J.
Really?

SAM
[returns to the windowsill] Under these regulations there will be a cap on
the volume
of CO2 a company could emit in a year, but what's the good news?

REPORTER 2
If the company comes in lower than the cap, they could sell the balance of
their
emissions allowance to another company.

SAM
Creating what?

REPORTERS 1 & 2
A cash incentive!

SAM
A cash incentive. Can you tell us anything else about that, C.J.?

C.J.
No, but I can tell you that lumber, cocoa beans, aluminum and petroleum
products are
the major exports of Cameroon.

Sam stares at her. Josh opens the door and peeks in.

SAM
[shocked by C.J.'s lack of caring] Then we're all set.

C.J.
Yeah.

JOSH
Can I have her for a second?

SAM
Yeah.

C.J.
[to Josh] Why do you ask him and not me?

JOSH
He looked in charge!

C.J.
Of where I go?

JOSH
Can we... please? C.J. and Josh walk outside and close the door.

C.J.
Did you hear they named John Marbury British Ambassador?

JOSH
Yes, I did.

C.J.
Lord John Marbury?

JOSH
I know, it's got to be like Davy Jones himself is showing up.

C.J.
Ok, don't make fun of Davy Jones, all right? He once wrote me a letter. He
took that
kind of time. And he still tours! Plus, my love for John Marbury is real,
it's not a
schoolgirl crush. He calls me [gently] 'Princepessa.'

JOSH
Does he?

C.J.
Yeah.

JOSH
Well, he calls Leo 'Gerald.'

C.J.
He's eccentric.

JOSH
Yeah.

C.J.
What do you need?

JOSH
Janice Barry is saying they're going to ask Cornelius Sykes to host the Will
Rogers'
dinner.

C.J.
They know for sure?

JOSH
They're going to ask him on Monday.

C.J.
They're going to stir this up again.

JOSH
Yeah.

C.J.
He didn't laugh at the joke! How many more ways are there for me to say
that? He didn't
laugh at the joke!

JOSH
You guys are friends. I was thinking...

C.J.
We're not friends.

JOSH
You know each other.

C.J.
I don't hang out with Corey Sykes!

JOSH
Yeah, but you know him!

C.J.
[beat] Where is he?

JOSH
He's in New York, doing standup. I thought since you were going to be there,
you...

C.J.
I'll see him tomorrow night.

JOSH
Thank you. [turns to leave]

C.J.
He didn't laugh at the joke!

JOSH
[turns to her while walking away] You'll see him tomorrow night?

C.J.
Yes.

From offscreen right, Donna catches up with Josh.

DONNA
Josh!

JOSH
[walking backwards] Could you see that a meeting is arranged for tomorrow
night in
New York with C.J., Cornelius Sykes, and no one else?

DONNA
Yeah.

C.J., standing in front of the closed door of the Press Room, yells.

C.J.
Thank you!

Donna and Josh are walking through the HALLWAYS.

DONNA
I was thinking...

JOSH
Yeah?

DONNA
When Marbury gets here...

JOSH
Yeah?

DONNA
You can encourage him to introduce me to any royal and single men he might
know.

JOSH
That's a good idea, I'm gonna do that.

DONNA
You're not really though, are you?

JOSH
No.

Donna makes a pouting face, and they part.

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Bartlet is accepting papers from the newly named ambassador of Sweden. The
ambassador's
wife and two children are in the room, so is the Presenter and a few men
with cameras.

BARTLET
I think a lot of people don't realize that Swedes have lived in Sweden more
than 5,000
years longer than nearly any other European people.

AMBASSADOR
That's right, sir.

BARTLET
In fact, Gothic tribes from Sweden played a major role in the disintegration
of the
Roman Empire, did they not?

AMBASSADOR
They did.

BARTLET
So you've got that to answer for!

AMBASSADOR
[smiling] Yes, sir!

Bartlet laughs. Leo enters the office.

TOM
Mr. President, it is with pleasure that I present his Excellency Peter Hans
of Sweden,
and by request of the Secretary of State ask that you accept his credentials
from king
Karl Gustav as Sweden's ambassador to the United States.

BARTLET
[puts his eyeglasses on] Mr. Hans, I accept your letter of credence from
king Gustav,
and, by affixing my signature and seal, do hereby declare you to be an
Ambassador
Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary. [returns the papers]

AMBASSADOR
Thank you, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Congratulations. [They shake hands.]

TOM
Mr. Ambassador. [shows Hans to a spot next to Bartlet] Family, please.

They pose for pictures. Leo shakes hands with Hans.

LEO
Congratulations, Ambassador.

AMBASSADOR
Leo.

LEO
Is he still holding you responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire?

AMBASSADOR
Oh, yes.

LEO
Welcome to my world. I'll see you at the reception, right?

AMBASSADOR
Yes, sir.

LEO
Congratulations.

TOM
This way.

The ambassador leaves with his family, everyone else exits.

BARTLET
Sweden has a 100% literacy rate, Leo, a hundred percent! How do they do that?

LEO
Well, maybe, they don't and they also can't count.

BARTLET
Maybe.

LEO
[hands him some papers] I really think you should know...

BARTLET
Yes?

LEO
That nine out of ten criterion that the DOD lays down for success in these
tests were met.

BARTLET
The tenth being?

LEO
They missed the target.

BARTLET
[with sarcasm] Damn!

LEO
Sir!

BARTLET
So close.

LEO
Mr. President.

BARTLET
That tenth one! See, if there were just nine...

LEO
Look, the tracking software on the KM vehicle clearly acquired the read on
both the
target and the decoy.

Charlie walks in and gives Bartlet a blue folder.

LEO
And, for the first time ever, successfully rendered a clean identification
differential.

BARTLET
Leo, seriously, when they were telling you that on the phone, how stupid
did you think
you'd sound saying that to me?

LEO
This project needs money!

BARTLET
It doesn't work.

LEO
Neither did several phases of Apollo 11, but Neil Armstrong claims it was
a success.

BARTLET
Do we have to decide this right now?

LEO
No.

BARTLET
Okay.

LEO
So, about the GDC speech...

BARTLET
[putting his glasses on and reading] Yeah?

LEO
Since we're giving them exactly what they want, Toby thinks it's not such
a bad idea
if we signal our independence as well.

BARTLET
How?

LEO
A drop-in. Eco-terrorism that's gone unadmonished by the GDC.

BARTLET
For example?

LEO
A ski development in Colorado that threatened a rare lynx was burned in
protest.

BARTLET
And we can't take it for granted that everyone pretty much fundamentally
opposes arson?

LEO
A year and a half ago you stood in the Mural Room and took Al Caldwell's
head off because
the Christian League hadn't publicly admonished religious extremists.

BARTLET
It would be hypocrisy not to hold our friends to the same standard...

LEO
Yes.

BARTLET
Yet it feels strange to score political points by doing the right thin.

LEO
Yeah.

BARTLET
[gruffly] I'm victim to my own purity of character.

LEO
Whatever. [beat] We'll get you some information on the lynx, which is a kind
of a possum,
I think.

BARTLET
Okay, well, it's not a kind of a possum, so why don't you get me that
information.
Toby doesn't want it in the speech?

LEO
Just the drop-in.

BARTLET
Did you hear?

LEO
About Marbury?

BARTLET
Ain't it great?

LEO
Yes, sir. And I assume you're enjoying my suffering?

BARTLET
Absolutely.

LEO
Anything else?

BARTLET
No.

LEO
Thank you, Mr. President. [walks out]

BARTLET
[shouts after him] 2,000 environmentalists are going to try and kill me
tomorrow night!

Charlie enters again.

CHARLIE
We should go, sir.

BARTLET
They're going to come at me with vegan food and pitchforks!

CHARLIE
[while they walk out] That doesn't really sound like something people do.

BARTLET
Still, I'd like you to get between me and any boiled seaweed you see coming
my way.

CHARLIE
Yep.

Toby is waiting outside and walks with the President. Charlie is walking
behind them.

TOBY
Mr. President.

BARTLET
Leo has just talked to me.

TOBY
About the GDC tonight.

BARTLET
Yeah, I'm not doing this for the politics, I'm doing it because it's the
right thing
to do.

TOBY
Well, I'm doing it for the politics.

BARTLET
A lynx isn't a possum.

TOBY
I think it's in the possum family.

BARTLET
It's a cat.

TOBY
Oh, and we don't have enough of those. [Bartlet smiles.]

BARTLET
How did Sam feel about this? [beat] Toby?

TOBY
This isn't government camp, it's not like... it's not important that everybody
gets to
play!

They stop and face each other.

BARTLET
I'm not going to tell you how to run your office, Toby.

TOBY
Thank you, sir.

BARTLET
[beat, resumes walking] Vegan food. Coming at me all night long.

As they leave, Toby spots C.J. who is wearing her coat and has a briefcase.

TOBY
C.J.?

C.J.
Yeah.

TOBY
Where are you going?

C.J.
New York, New York, Toby. The town so nice they named it twice.

TOBY
What are you doing there?

C.J.
I'm receiving the Matrix Award from New York women in communications.

TOBY
For what?

C.J.
I discovered a comet. What do you mean, 'for what?' Past winners, by the way,
include
Cokie Roberts, Diane Sawyer and Ms. Leslie Stahl.

TOBY
Josh talked to you about...

C.J.
Yeah, I'm meeting him for a drink after the thing.

TOBY
You briefed on the Clean Air Rehabilitation...?

C.J.
Yeah.

TOBY
Okay, you might need this: [reads from his pocketbook] 'The President has
always spoken
out against moderate groups not taking responsibility for extremism, and he
isn't going
to stop with the environmental lobby. Friends are honest with each
other.' [hands C.J.
the piece of paper he read from]

C.J.
He's gonna do a drop-in?

TOBY
Yeah.

C.J.
I'll see you tomorrow night. [leaves]

Bonnie opens the door next to which Toby is standing.

BONNIE
Hey, Toby, you want to see the speech? Sam's writing a good one.

She gives him the copy of the speech. Toby looks over it.

TOBY
Oh.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - DAY

SAM
[fixing his tie] Climate changes have accelerated. Glaciers are shrinking.
Polar sea is... what?

TOBY
[from communications office] It's thinning.

SAM
The polar sea ice is thinning causing a rise in sea levels round the globe.

TOBY
And what do we say when they say, "But changes in the Clean Air Rehabilitation
effort
seriously choke the auto, trucking and utility business"?

SAM
[walks to Toby] $22 trillion in benefits produced versus a half trillion in
compliance
costs. [keeps walking past Toby]

TOBY
Public health benefits?

SAM
We'll make that clear. [turns back to face Toby] Where's C.J.?

TOBY
She's in New York.

SAM
What's she doing in New York?

TOBY
She had a lunch - media women... women of media?

SAM
That was this afternoon.

TOBY
She had to stay around.

SAM
So it's just me?

TOBY
Yeah. Call me from the place.

SAM
Yeah.

He walks out of bullpen and into THE ROOSEVELT ROOM and picks up a copy of
the speech.

GINGER
Well, it's the 12th draft. Whether or not it's the final draft is up to you.

SAM
Is that sass?

GINGER
Yeah.

SAM
Okay. The difference between a good speech and a great speech is the energy
with which
the audience comes to their feet at the end. Is it polite? Is it a chore? Are
they
standing up because their boss is standing up? No, we want it to come from
their socks.
We've got a half an hour. Let's read it again.

CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY
Leo and Josh are inside.

LEO
Every time one of these tests fails, congressional Democrats jump on it as
a reason to
kill the program.

JOSH
You're not going to turn the President around on the missile shield.

LEO
Well, I'm not going to turn him around today. And probably not tomorrow. But
as long as
somebody has the money to keep trying to make it work, then I'm fine.

MARGARET
[walks in] Leo?

LEO
Yeah?

MARGARET
There's someone here to see you.

LEO
Who?

MARBURY [VO]
Gerald?

LEO
Oh, God.

MARBURY
[enters] Gerald! Old friend!

LEO
Good to see you, ambassador.

They shake hands. Margaret leaves.

MARBURY
It's as if the gods themselves insist we be not long apart, you and I.

LEO
They do seem to strongly insist upon that, yes.

MARBURY
Your assistant, Margaret, is looking positively buxom.

LEO
Thank you, I'll tell her.

MARGARET [VO]
Thank you.

MARBURY
[turns in her direction] Yes, well done! [indicates a woman behind him] Oh,
my aide,
Caprice.

CAPRICE
[shakes Leo's hand] How do you do?

LEO
Leo McGarry.

JOSH
Good to see you, ambassador.

MARBURY
God bless you, Josh. The prayers of millions were answered.

JOSH
[a little stunned] Thank you, sir.

MARBURY
I have come.

LEO
Yes.

MARBURY
I am Lord John Marbury, along with my aide, Caprice, and I am hereby presenting
my
credentials in the fervent hope...

LEO
John, we do that later with the President.

MARBURY
Excellent! [hands papers back to Caprice]

LEO
I will tell you, though, that I personally welcome you and I look forward
to our new
partnership.

MARBURY
As do I.

LEO
I know we've had our differences in the past but I think you know I respect
you.
I congratulate you on this auspicious occasion. As a matter of fact, the
timing of your
arrival couldn't be better.

MARBURY
How so?

JOSH
Leo's trying to convince the president to give the NMD more time.

LEO
And you're an expert in the field. And I hope I can count on your support.

MARBURY
You may hope for it but you'll not have it.

LEO
Why not?

MARBURY
Because the NMD is an absurdly wasteful military boondoggle that will never
produce
a working missile. It violates any number of elements of the ABM treaty. And
any
argument you make in its defense will surely be moronic.

JOSH
Ah, detente.

MARBURY
I'm sorry, Gerald.

LEO
We're going to have this out.

MARBURY
Excellent.

LEO
Let's go get you knighted or whatever the hell it is we do.

CUT TO: INT. HOTEL LOBBY IN NEW YORK CITY - DAY
Cornelius Sykes is meeting with C.J.

COREY SYKES
Hey.

C.J.
Hey, how you doing?

COREY
Not bad.

C.J.
Thanks for taking the time.

COREY
Yeah, I've gotta get back pretty soon.

C.J.
I won't take long. [They sit.]

COREY
You wanna stay for the show?

C.J.
I gotta get the 7:00 shuttle.

COREY
You want something to drink?

C.J.
Uh, a club soda.

COREY
[to waitress] Alicia? Can I get a club soda?

C.J.
Oh, I haven't seen the movie yet.

COREY
You should see it. It's good.

C.J.
That's what everybody's saying.

COREY
Well, I appreciate that.

C.J.
[laughs] So, you know, this is about the Will Rogers dinner.

COREY
Yeah.

C.J.
They're going to ask you to host and obviously the President's going to be
there.
[beat] We appreciate the support.

COREY
You want me to say no.

C.J.
We think the press'll go back two years and bring up the whole...

COREY
Let'em.

C.J.
I don't want to. Uh, you know how I feel about you. You know I don't mean
you disrespect.

COREY
You don't?

C.J.
No!

COREY
I've raised money for you. I've registered voters for you. I've done
commercials for you.
And I voted for you. Because of something I never did wrong two years ago,
you don't want
to be on the dais with me?

C.J.
That's not...

COREY
It takes a special kind of arrogance not to think that that's not
disrespectful.

The waitress puts their drinks on the table.

COREY
Thanks, Alicia. [to C.J.] Make your case. I've got to be funny in a while.

CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - DAY

MARBURY
It missed by 137 miles?!

LEO
Yes.

MARBURY
It could have missed by 37 fewer miles and it still would have missed by
100 miles.
It doesn't work.

LEO
That depends on what your definition is.

MARBURY
My definition is precisely the same as everyone else's.

BARTLET
[walks in with Josh and Charlie] John!

MARBURY
Mr. President.

BARTLET
[shakes his hand] It's good to have you here.

MARBURY
Your servant, as always.

BARTLET
What made you decide to take the post?

MARBURY
Oh, I don't know. I suppose it was possible I was drunk.

JOSH
Reasonable bet.

BARTLET
Listen, I gotta go a few blocks across town to give an address on global
warming and the
future of our planet. That's not something you're interested in, right?

MARBURY
Good God, no.

BARTLET
Okay. Well, stay here and fight with Leo about something. We'll get you some
dinner.
I'll be back in an hour. We'll do your thing and then enjoy your reception.

MARBURY
Excellent.

LEO
Indeed.

CHARLIE
Here we go.

Leo, Bartlet and Charlie leave.

MARBURY
An hour, did he say?

JOSH
Yes.

MARBURY
I'll need some amusement.

DONNA
[enters] Good evening, your lordship.

MARBURY
Excellent.

CUT TO INT. HOTEL LOBBY IN NEW YORK CITY - DAY

C.J.
Corey...

COREY
Hang on.

C.J.
No, wait a second...

COREY
Let me finish.

C.J.
It was not a benign joke.

COREY
C.J....

C.J.
You don't tell benign jokes.

COREY
It's a matter of...

C.J.
It was a joke about New York City cops shooting black men.

COREY
I'm a black man. I'm in a room full of rich Democrats in an election year. What
you
thought I was going to talk about airline food?

C.J.
It was a political fundraiser in the heat of a national campaign. You weren't
doing a
2 a.m. set at Catch a Rising Star.

COREY
[insulted] You know how many years it's been since I worked Catch a Rising
Star?

C.J.
You made the joke, and inoffensive as you think it may have been, there was
enormous
pressure on the candidate to disavow your remarks and he did not.

COREY
And I'm supposed to be...

C.J.
Corey...

COREY
And I'm supposed to feel good about that? That he didn't disavow me? That
I wasn't
disavowed?

C.J.
We were courting law enforcement, Corey. Don't be naive.

COREY
You were also courting the black vote, C.J.. I'm not naive.

C.J.
What did you expect us to do?

COREY
I expected that when I was called, in any number of places, a Hollywood
sleaze, that
you might have said a few words, maybe, on my behalf. I expected that you
were going
to say, "We in the Bartlet campaign do not believe Cornelius Sykes is a
Hollywood sleaze.
We believe he's a world class humorist and millions of Americans agree. We
believe his
humor can be disconcerting to some but those who are making noise right now
are feigning
their concern in an effort to frighten white men." But what you said was,
"He didn't
laugh at the joke."

C.J.
Corey...

COREY
He did laugh at the joke.

C.J.
Yeah.

COREY
He laughed at the joke, C.J.. I've been doing this for 20 years. You don't
think I'd
know if I had him? I killed that night. That was a very big deal for me. To
play in
front of that audience? To get that man to laugh? And the next day my parents
read in
the paper that I am Hollywood sleaze. But that's okay cause the candidate
didn't think
it was funny.

C.J.
[looking uncomfortable] I understand.

COREY
I don't want to cause any trouble for the President. You knew that when you
walked in
here. I'll pass on the dinner. I'll tell'em it's cause I can't get out of
a booking.
But the president laughed at the joke, C.J.. I killed that night.

C.J.
[smiling] You did. Okay, I gotta go.

COREY
I'll see you next time.

CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - NIGHT
Toby walks through.

TOBY
Is the President offstage yet?

BONNIE
Just about.

TOBY
Anyone know how it's going?

GINGER
Toby?

TOBY
Yeah?

GINGER
[holds up the phone] It's Sam.

TOBY
Yeah. [walks into his office and picks up the phone] Yeah?

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY IN THE SHERATON - NIGHT
The President finished his speech. Sam is standing near the door.

SAM
[disappointed, into phone] He admonished them.

TOBY
Sam...

SAM
He went off the speech right at the end and slapped them down for not speaking
out...

TOBY
Yeah.

SAM
...on eco-terrorism.

TOBY
Listen.

SAM
He just flew off the speech.

TOBY
Sam, listen.

SAM
Something about a Colorado ski resort.

TOBY
Sam, are you listening?

SAM
Talk to me.

TOBY
Here's what you say, "Friends are honest with each other. The President has
always
spoken out on moderate groups not taking responsibility for terrorism and
he isn't
going to stop with the environmental lobby."

SAM
Okay.

TOBY
You got that?

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
[hears clapping] What's happening? [pause] Sam, what's happening?

SAM
[standing outside the room, his back to a wall, looking mournful] They're
not standing.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Donna and Lord John Marbury are walking.

DONNA
So you're actual royalty?

MARBURY
Yes.

DONNA
It's not just an honorary thing?

MARBURY
No, in fact there's little honor attached to it at all

DONNA
Tell me about yourself.

MARBURY
Well, my mother was a descendant of the third of the nine children of
Victoria.
Victoria was the granddaughter of George the third, who was the great-grandson
of
George the first. George the first was the great-nephew of Charles the first,
who
was the son of James the first, and James' mother was Mary, Queen of Scots.

DONNA
And are you and Caprice an item?

MARBURY
Why, no.

CHARLIE
[walking up between them] Mr. Ambassador?

MARBURY
Is he back?

CHARLIE
He's back, but he's receiving credentials from Her Excellency Renee Ernesto
of Argentina
and asked for your patience.

MARBURY
Then my patience he shall have!

Sam walks by and catches up with C.J., who has just walked in, still in her
hat and coat.

SAM
C.J.!

C.J.
Yeah.

SAM
You just get back?

C.J.
Yeah.

SAM
You heard what happened?

C.J.
Yeah. Here's what it is: the President has always spoken out on moderate
groups not
taking responsibility for extremism, and he isn't going to stop at the
environmental
lobby. Friends are honest with each other. [as Sam stops walking] Sam?

SAM
Have you spoken to Toby?

C.J.
When?

SAM
Since after the speech tonight

C.J.
No.

SAM
Okay.

C.J.
They're setting up for the reception?

SAM
Yeah.

CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Toby and Leo are inside.

TOBY
Sixty billion dollars can be spent on other things.

LEO
I'm all for retention pay. I'm all for health benefits. I'm all for
procurement.

TOBY
I'm talking about Abrams' tax and Apache helicopters, which we know work.

LEO
An Apache helicopter will not stop a Shahab3 longrange stiletto, or a North
Korean ICBM.

Sam passes by outside.

TOBY
Well so far neither can anything else. [calling outside] Hey, Sam?

LEO
I'm going back in there.

Toby walks out of office and up to Sam.

TOBY
Have you been getting questions?

SAM
I'm sorry?

TOBY
Have you been getting questions?

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
From the press, or...?

SAM
The press'll be tomorrow.

TOBY
So who's asking?

SAM
The chairman of the GDC. Four Congressmen. The Secretary of the Interior. Who'd
you
think would be talking to me?

TOBY
Then what did you...?

SAM
I said, "Sometimes friends have to be honest with each other." I said exactly
what you
told me to say, which, coincidentally, is exactly C.J. told me to say,
which is
remarkable when you consider that C.J. was in New York during the event and
didn't
speak to you afterward. I mean, it's almost as if there were people who knew
it was
going to happen.

TOBY
Sam...

SAM
Get away from me.

Sam walks out of office and to the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. He stands for a moment,
then the
door opens and Charlie walks out.

CHARLIE
Hey, Sam.

SAM
Is it possible I could get in for just a minute?

Toby appears in the hallway looking in. He shakes his head at Charlie.

CHARLIE
He's pretty tight right now. I don't think I can get you in.

Sam looks over his shoulder and spots Toby, who walks away. Sam gives Charlie
a betrayed
look, then leaves.

CUT TO: INT. RECEPTION HALL - NIGHT
Music is playing. Donna and Marbury are chatting.

MARBURY
Oh, well, yes. Oh, certainly. There's uh, Edward, Earl of Ulster. He's the
son of
Richard, Duke of Gloucester, who's the son of Henry, Duke of Gloucester.

DONNA
Edward, Earl of Ulster?

MARBURY
Yes.

DONNA
Do you think he'd like me?

MARBURY
Do you date younger men?

DONNA
Sure. How old is he?

MARBURY
Five.

DONNA
Okay, well let's stick a pin in that for a moment and move on.

Leo walks up.

LEO
Hello.

DONNA
Hello.

LEO
Am I interrupting?

MARBURY
Not at all.

DONNA
Ambassador Marbury was just telling me about how royal men are schooled in
the ways of
courtship. King George III, for example, sailed his bride up the river Thames
to music
that was specially composed.

LEO
Yeah. That was just a few years before we opened up a big can of whoopass
on him at
Yorktown.

MARBURY
Leo, I- [as Donna slips away]

LEO
How can you look at North Korea, which 24 months ago fired a Taepodong
missile...?

MARBURY
Uh, which failed...

LEO
And with some modifications it'll be able to reach Alaska.

MARBURY
Well I don't live in Alaska, I live in England, which by the way is not
protected by
the shield. Not that anywhere else is at the moment, either. You've also
forgotten that
we're both signatories to the '72 ABM treaty, which the shield is in clear
violation.
You've forgotten that it will compel China to strengthen their nuclear
arsenal. You've
forgotten that the European allies have strong reservations about the
shield. And you've
forgotten that it doesn't work.

LEO
You know what I haven't forgotten?

MARBURY
What?

LEO
That we opened up a big can of whoopass on you at Yorktown!

MARBURY
All right.

CHARLIE
[coming up to them] Leo?

LEO
Excuse me.

MARBURY
Excuse me.

DONNA
[passing by Charlie] I'm going to correspond with Edward, Earl of Ulster,
once he
learns how to read and write.

CHARLIE
Okay.

CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE MESS - NIGHT
Sam is having a drink. Alice, the waitress, comes up.

ALICE
Here you go.

TOBY
No, no, Alice. I got it.

SAM
It's all right.

TOBY
No, I got it.

ALICE
You want a beer?

TOBY
Yeah. Thanks.

He hands her money, and she leaves.

TOBY
You don't ever go into the Oval Office mad.

SAM
Look...

TOBY
No, no, no. No, Sam. You don't ever go in there mad

SAM
I think the President's remarks were ill advised, to say the least.

TOBY
You're wrong.

SAM
The drop-in's the story now, Toby, not the energy package.

TOBY
The energy package doesn't need to be a story; it's going to be a law.

SAM
You don't think we're going to need the environmental lobby?

TOBY
I think we need them, I just don't think we're going to lose them.

SAM
And I think you're tragically misguided.

TOBY
Sam...

SAM
Many, if not most, environmentalists are absolutists who will use this insult
to pull
their support under cover we cut a deal in Detroit.

TOBY
Well then they can grow up, Sam. Use this insult? They just got the energy
package they
wanted, they just got the president at their dinner, and they should shut up!

SAM
Well you should explain it to them just that way, Toby, cause they're really
pretty
receptive to that argument.

TOBY
When they look down the ballot and see the alternatives, they get receptive
in a hurry.

SAM
Was there anything else, or can I sit here now?

TOBY
[standing to leave] You can sit here. I'll see you tomorrow.

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
Sam, I'm looking at opposition polling that scares the hell out of me. I'm
looking at
internal numbers that change by the hour. I'm listening to economists who
tell me
there's weather...

SAM
You left me out.

TOBY
[sighing] Yeah.

SAM
You think I'm the reason you got beat on the Leadership Breakfast?

TOBY
I got creamed, Sam.

SAM
You think I'm the reason?

TOBY
I don't want that discussion.

SAM
Then what are you doing here talking to me? Now you want the discussion. You
and the
president may think they deserved it, but this cynicism of attacking your
friends for
political protection offends them and it offends me. It offends you, and
there's really
nothing I can do to make you feel better about that.

TOBY
We can't govern if we don't win.

SAM
You should've talked to me about the numbers more.

TOBY
Anyway. I have this beer...

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
I was just gonna sit down and drink it.

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
I mean, we don't have to talk or anything.

SAM
Yeah.

Toby and Sam sit in silence.

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet walks in and speaks to Leo and Josh, who are waiting for him.

BARTLET
That was Chairwoman Shelly Lubis I just got off the phone with. Before that
was a
conference call with Jamie Schwartz of the Environmental Defense Fund,
Bryce Davis
of the Sierra Club, and three Democratic Congressman from the Subcommittee
on Energy
and the Environment. The number of different words they had for "manipulative,"

Leo, there's no way they didn't have a thesaurus open in front of them. Bryce
Davis
said if I keep this up, he's going to encourage Seth Gillette in a thirdparty
bid.

LEO
What'd you say?

BARTLET
I said for fifty bucks and a ride to the airport, Gillette could have the
job right now.

LEO
What'd you say?

BARTLET
I politely reminded him that it's probably not a good idea to threaten the
president.
[yelling] Nancy! [to Leo] I want to know when you're pushing me towards the
missile
shield it's not because you want me to look strong on defense.

NANCY
Yes, sir?

BARTLET
Would you tell Charlie I'm ready?

NANCY
Yes, sir.

LEO
I'm not. I'm pushing you to the missile defense shield cause I think it
works.

BARTLET
Based on what?

LEO
Confidence. And the understanding that there's been a time in the evolution
of everything
that works when it didn't work.

JOSH
You know, can I say this? Why don't we just give the sixty billion dollars
to North Korea
in exchange for not bombing us?

BARTLET
It's almost hard to believe that you're not on the National Security Council.

JOSH
I know. I feel like they're missing an important voice.

The door opens. Lord Marbury enters with entourage.

MARBURY
Good evening!

BARTLET
John! Let me explain why you've been waiting. I have to see people in the
order they
arrive, and you got beat by Argentina.

MARBURY
Oh, uhh... Well, yes.

BARTLET
You also lost out on preferred seating for the State of the Union.

MARBURY
I'm required to attend the State of the Union?

BARTLET
Yes!

MARBURY
Then attend it I shall.

BARTLET
Okay, Tom?

TOM
Mr. President, it is with pleasure I present His Excellency, Lord John
Marbury of
Great Britain, and by request of the Secretary of State, ask that you accept
his
credentials from Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, as Great Britain's
Ambassador
to the United States.

Bartlet takes the folder from Marbury.

BARTLET
Where are you on the missile shield?

MARBURY
Well, I think it's dangerous, illegal... fiscally irresponsible,
technologically unsound,
and a threat to all people everywhere.

BARTLET
Leo?

LEO
I think the world invented a nuclear weapon. I think the world owes it to
itself to see
if it can't invent something that would make it irrelevant.

MARBURY
Well, that's the right sentiment, certainly a credible one from a man who's
fought in a
war. You think you can make it stop? Well, you can't. We build a shield,
and somebody
will build a better missile.

BARTLET
Well, it's a discussion for serious men. They say a statesman is a politician
who's
been dead for fifteen years. I'd like us to be statesmen while we're still
alive.
Lord Marbury, I accept your letter of credence from Queen Elizabeth, and,
by affixing
my signature and seal, do hereby declare you to be Ambassador Extraordinary
and
Plenipotentiary.

They shake hands.

MARBURY
Well, thank you, sir.

Marbury turns and shakes hands with Leo.

LEO
Congratulations.

MARBURY
God Bless America.

LEO
God Save the Queen.

BARTLET
Let's go.

The photographers snap pictures of Bartlet and Marbury as they pose.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John
Wells
Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement
is intended.

Episode 2.12 -- 'The Drop-In'
Original Airdate: January 24, 2001, 9:00 P.M. EST
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