Episode Summary:
As a bi-partisan friendship breakfast with members of Congress nears, President Bartlet’s (Martin Sheen) staff vigorously debates the merits of including a patient’s bill of rights and minimum wage increase among the incendiary topics while C.J. (Allison Janney) jousts with the new chief of staff of the Senate Majority leader (Felicity Huffman) over the press conference’s agenda and location. Elsewhere: Leo (John Spencer) asks Josh (Bradley Whitford) to apologize for him to a powerful news columnist after he unintentionally insults her; Sam (Rob Lowe) lobbies C.J. to move the media briefing room away from the White House to free-up much-needed space; and Sam and Josh start a cozy fire in the Mural Room — unaware that the chimney flue has been welded shut for more than 100 years
Script:
THE WEST WING "THE LEADERSHIP BREAKFAST" WRITTEN BY: PAUL REDFORD DIRECTED BY: SCOTT WINANT TEASER DONNA [VO] We don't need some kind of permission for this? JOSH [VO] No. DONNA [VO] What about supervision, shouldn't there be some official supervision? FADE IN: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - NIGHT Sam and Josh are bending over a fireplace. All three are bundled up in heavy coats, and Donna is wearing a winter hat. JOSH We're making a fire in a fireplace, what kind of supervision do you want? DONNA FEMA? The American Red Cross? SAM What kind of wood is this? JOSH [sighs] I don't know. DONNA Josh... JOSH It's freezing in here. DONNA I acknowledge that it's cold. JOSH It's like Ice Station Zebra. DONNA It also might bother someone. JOSH It's half past midnight! SAM See, here's the thing. This looks like spruce to me. JOSH Yeah? SAM And spruce is a softwood, softwood burns out quickly. You know what we need for a slow burning fire? JOSH A hardwood? SAM That's right. JOSH That's interesting. DONNA Where did you get the wood? JOSH It was sitting in... the thing. [points across the room] DONNA I think that is mean to be decorative... JOSH It's wood, we're not burning Benjamin Harrison's log cabin. SAM You know what? JOSH What? SAM We might be. JOSH Why? SAM It was made out of spruce. JOSH [to Donna] Where's C.J.? DONNA She's over in the Roosevelt Room. JOSH Is she doing the seating chart? DONNA Yeah. JOSH Jancowitz has a hearing aid that seldom works, he needs to be seated near the center. Would you tell her that? DONNA Yeah. [beat] You're not using lighter fluid or anything are you? JOSH No... no flammable liquids of any kind to start a fire, ever. Donna starts to leave when Sam re-enters carrying a kerosene lamp. SAM Found it! JOSH What? SAM Kerosene. DONNA [whips around] Josh... JOSH Go. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT C.J., Carol, Ed, Larry, and some other staffers are standing around a large seating chart for the leadership breakfast. They are all in heavy coats and many are holding steaming coffee, including C.J. who is wearing gloves. C.J. is walking around the board, placing and pointing to stands, which hold handwritten cards. C.J. Speaker [places stand], House Majority [places stand], House Minority, Senate Majority, Senate Minority, Whip, Whip, Deputy, Deputy. CAROL Right. C.J. Yes. ED Then... C.J. What? ED The committee chairs. C.J. Yes. ED Ways and Means goes here. LARRY Finance goes here, House Appropriations goes here. ED Senate Appropriations here, House Budget... LARRY Senate Budget C.J. Excellent. ED Which brings us to... CAROL White House staff. ED That's right. So, we've got the Chief of Staff. LARRY Next to him will be the Deputy Chief of Staff. On the other side of Leo will be the Congressional Liaison, and the Political Liaison. ED Next to them will be the Communications Director and the Deputy Communications Director. C.J. What about staff aides? ED The aides will stand around the wall. C.J. So we're done? ED We're set. C.J. Yes. DONNA [enters] C.J.? C.J. Don't give me a thing. DONNA Josh says Jancowitz has to sit closer to the center. C.J. Why? DONNA He doesn't hear well. C.J. He can't sit closer to the center! DONNA His hearing aid malfunctions. C.J. Who cares? [beat] It's a breakfast to trumpet a new spirit of bi-partisanship cooperation and understanding in a new year, no ones going to be listening to each other anyways! DONNA I'm just a messenger but I think he's saying we don't snub Jancowitz... C.J. Because of the thing... DONNA Yeah. C.J. All right, we're gonna have to move somebody. Would you ask him if it's better to dis the House Whip or the Senate Whip? DONNA Yeah. CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - NIGHT Josh and Sam are still working in front of the fireplace. JOSH You want to stand them in a tripod right? SAM Yeah, standing 3 sticks on an end and slanting them to a common center. JOSH Isn't that a tripod? SAM Yeah, but... JOSH You just thought you'd say more words. SAM Yeah. DONNA [enters] Josh... JOSH Hang on. [to Sam] You know what we need? SAM Dried leaves. JOSH We need dried leaves. DONNA To move Jancowitz, we've got to move either the House or Senate Whip. JOSH and SAM House. DONNA Why? SAM 'Cause life is tough in the big cruel world, and if he doesn't like it, he can kiss me! DONNA So, the spirit of bi-partisanship begins! SAM Yeah. JOSH Could you possible get us some dried leaves? DONNA Yeah, I'll just run out to the forest and be right back. [leaves] SAM You know what? JOSH You think she was being sarcastic? SAM Yeah, I don't think she's getting the leaves. JOSH You know what we could use? SAM Newspaper? JOSH See, this is what I'm talking about, this is teamwork! SAM It really is! CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT DONNA [enters] House. C.J. House? DONNA Yes. C.J. So, we'll move the House Whip to the left of Sam and move Jancowitz across from Leo and we're all set right? CAROL Yeah. C.J. Larry, Ed we're set? [beat] Either one of you? ED Yeah. LARRY Yes. C.J. Thank you, you see, you guys thought it was going to take a long time and it only ended up taking 7 and a half hours. TOBY [enters] Somebody working on the heat? C.J. Seating arrangement is set. TOBY That took some time. C.J. It was hard. TOBY You got to find a magic marker. C.J. Toby, when people are sitting with the President, there's excruciating protocol involved. TOBY Uh-oh. C.J. What?!? TOBY Missed one... C.J. Who? TOBY Take a look. C.J. and the others are bent over the table looking. C.J. I'm looking... TOBY It'll happen. C.J. Okay, guys. You know what we did? We forgot the President. TOBY [holding up card holder off to side of the board] There it is! GINGER [enters] Does anybody smell smoke? DONNA Oh God! [leaves quickly] CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - NIGHT Josh and Sam are backing away in a cloud of smoke. Josh coughs. SAM I think this might be because the wood is wet. JOSH Well, the fire ought to dry it pretty quick shouldn't it? SAM You'd think. DONNA [rushes in] What'd you do?! JOSH It's going pretty good now. DONNA There's smoke in the hallways! Toby and C.J. enter. TOBY What the hell is going on? JOSH The wood's drying out. C.J. Are you burning a dining room table?! JOSH Spruce is a slow drying wood. TOBY Do you have any idea whet you're talking about? JOSH No. SAM Hang on. [reads a small plaque on the wall next to the fireplace] C.J. Are those instructions? SAM It says this fireplace was a favor to President Andrew Johnson and he would sip whiskey from a charcoal keg while reading by its light. JOSH That doesn't help. SAM The flue's been welded shut since 1896. JOSH Well that's probably it then. CHARLIE [enters] What are you doing?! JOSH Somebody started a fire in this fireplace, Charlie. CHARLIE If the smoke alarms go off, they're going to make me wake up the President! SAM The President's a thousand yards over and two flights up. CHARLIE It's Secret Service procedure. JOSH Well, let's get a fire extinguisher and put it out before the smoke alar... Smoke alarms begin to blare. All the staffers look at each other, and C.J. covers her ears. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM - NIGHT The door flies open to reveal a very unhappy Bartlet. BARTLET What?! CHARLIE Mr. President, you know how you told me not to wake you up unless the building was on fire? SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY TOBY These are the rules. LEO They're the guidelines. TOBY The meeting will last 90 minutes. LEO Yes. TOBY And the rules. LEO The guidelines. TOBY We can't talk about the Patient's Bill of Rights? LEO We can talk about the Patient's Bill of Rights. We just can't talk about dropping the provision that would allow for litigation. TOBY Why not? LEO Because that's not what the breakfast is for. TOBY What's it for? LEO Symbolize the spirit of cooperation as the new session begins and to eat pancakes. TOBY So with regard to the Patient's Bill of Rights we'll just be debating the things we agree on? LEO Yeah. TOBY And raising the minimum wage? LEO We won't be talking about that at all. TOBY No, we shouldn't because there's a chance it could lead to something. SAM We can't talk about the patient's bill of rights? TOBY We can talk about it. We just can't talk about dropping the no litigation clause. SAM Leo, what's the point of having rights if you can't sue for them in court? LEO That's a fine argument. TOBY We won't be making it. LEO Not at this breakfast. SAM And the minimum wage? LEO Not so much. JOSH I see won't be talking about the 993 tax cut. LEO We won't be. But we've agreed to call it tax relief instead of a tax cut. JOSH We're calling it tax relief. LEO Yeah. JOSH But we won't be talking about it. LEO No. JOSH Leo, the Patient's Bill of Rights. LEO Which we'll be referring to as the Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act. SAM What's the Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act? LEO It's the Patient's Bill of Rights, but the CARA was introduced in 1999. It's fundamentally the same thing and the Republicans have agreed to discuss changing the name back. JOSH In exchange for calling tax breaks tax relief. LEO Or income enhancement. TOBY I'm in a musical. LEO Getting it renamed for the old bill is a hell of a concession. TOBY Leo, I'm gonna check in with you for a second, OK? LEO Sure. TOBY Sick people... LEO Yeah. TOBY Not getting proper medical care... LEO Right. TOBY Because they can't afford it... LEO Yes. TOBY Probably don't care that we've agreed to change the name of the bill. LEO We've agreed to discuss changing the name of the bill. Bartlet and Charlie enter THE OVAL OFFICE. Sam, Leo, Josh, and Toby are lined up at the desk. BARTLET What's after that? CHARLIE Security briefing. BARTLET After that? CHARLIE Agriculture. BARTLET Who was the idiot who set off the smoke detector? JOSH Well it sounds a lot like you are talking about Sam, Mr. President. SAM What, were you inconvenienced, Sir? BARTLET They had me on the Truman balcony for 6 minutes in my underwear. SAM Was it cold? BARTLET In January? No. Why do you ask? TOBY Mr. President I'd like to talk about those rules in that memo you're reading. LEO It's a breakfast. Toby, it's a pancake breakfast. There's nothing in that memo that's important. BARTLET We're having Vermont maple syrup? TOBY Mr. President, if you read item 4 you'll see that time at this breakfast will be spent discussing calling the Patient's Bill of Rights the Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act. BARTLET I don't give a damn if they call it the Monroe doctrine. What the hell are we doing serving Vermont maple syrup? TOBY On the minimum wage, if we all turn our attention to item 5 of the Rules of Bipartisan Breakfast. LEO They're guidelines. You keep calling them rules. TOBY Margaret, what does it say at the top of the memo? MARGARET Rules for Bipartisan Breakfast. LEO [to Margaret] I keep meaning to fire you. MARGARET Yeah. BARTLET New Hampshire syrup is what we serve in this White House. SAM Sir. BARTLET It's a breakfast. We eat. We pose for pictures. You do a post-game conference. Everybody gets the hell out of here and I don't have to be so Officer Crupky. LEO Anything else? SAM An ONB efficiency expert has said we could free up much need office space by moving the Press Room across the street. LEO What else? No response. LEO Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you. Everyone leaves. Leo motions for Josh to enter his OFFICE. LEO Josh. JOSH Yeah. LEO You feeling all right? JOSH Yeah. LEO You're sure? JOSH Yeah. LEO You don't mind me asking? JOSH Nah. LEO Because I'm gonna ask you once a day, okay? JOSH Okay, but you just asked me four times in the last ten seconds. LEO I want you to go to Ben and Sally's for dinner tonight. JOSH Are you going? LEO No. JOSH Was I invited? LEO No. JOSH Are Ben and Sally asking for me? LEO No, they'd rather you didn't come, but they'll do me a favor and I need you to do me one too. JOSH What's at Ben and Sally's? LEO Karen Cahill. JOSH And what stupid-ass Irish thing did you say to Karen Cahill that you now need me to apologize at Ben and Sally 's like a little girl? Leo glares at Josh rather sternly. JOSH Let me tell you what was surprising about that moment just then. I said that only 12 hours after you were very cool about my almost accidentally setting the building on fire. LEO I made a joke about her shoes. JOSH I'm sorry? LEO I made a remark about her shoes. JOSH You're the second most powerful man in the country... LEO And she relates a column for the New York Times and who knows what kind of special relationship women have with their shoes! JOSH What could you possibly have said...? LEO It doesn't matter. It was perfectly benign to anyone who doesn't take shoes that seriously. Just tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry and I'll take her shoe shopping. JOSH Why don't you tell her? LEO If someone else tells her it seems like I was thoughtful enough to mention it. If I tell her it just makes me seem feminine. JOSH You don't think the shoe shopping's gonna take care of that? LEO Let's call the insurance company and see how much water damage was done in the mural room. JOSH You don't need to wave a stick, Leo. I am totally there for you. LEO Thank you. JOSH Can I get Sam to do it? LEO Fine. JOSH Anything else? LEO Nope. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY C.J. and Carol are meeting with ANN STARK and three of her staffers. CAROL This isn't about what they say after the meeting so let's decide what they're gonna say. STAFFER 1 It'll be simple enough. CAROL Like what? STAFFER 2 We appreciate the President's invitation and welcome him to the cause of bipartisanship. C.J. [while eating breakfast] And I'll end the press conference. STAFFER 1 C.J.. C.J. You're gonna walk him into the cause of bipartisanship? STAFFER 1 What's the problem? ANN STARK I think C.J.'s objecting to the implication that we got there first. C.J. Yes. ANN How about 'we all agree on a need for renewed spirit of bipartisanship.' C.J. The meeting was positive. ANN Yes. C.J. Friendly, frank, and productive ANN Yes. CAROL And we're certain our goals can be met under the President's leadership. STAFFER 1 No way. CAROL What's the problem? ANN I think what my aide is objecting to is the implication it's the President's leadership under which our goals will be met. C.J. Meeting was positive, friendly, frank and productive. ANN With a spicy bouquet that suggests a fine Merlot. Her staffers smile. CAROL [looking over her notes] The President will be at the northwest entrance. Assuming we're done at 1030, the Majority Leader will speak and take questions, the Minority Leader, then C.J. will answer questions 20 minutes later in the Briefing Room. C.J. If all goes well we should... ANN [cuts her off] I got to stop you. Why in the Briefing Room? C.J. That's where I brief. ANN The Majority Leader is briefing first and outside. You're doing it last in back of a podium and in front of a blue curtain with a big picture of the White House. C.J. And the Majority Leader'll be doing it in front of the actual White House. ANN No, he'll be doing it on the Capitol steps. C.J. Traditionally, these kinds of things are done in front of the White House. ANN Traditionally, the person in my job has cared what's traditional. C.J. The President's not gonna want to end a bipartisan breakfast with the Republicans speaking from one place and the Democrats... ANN And the Majority Leader's not gonna stand at a cardboard podium in your front yard while you stand in White House Press briefing room and with good reason. C.J. Which is? ANN I don't think they're on equal footing. C.J. My boss and your boss? ANN Yes. C.J. I don't think they are either. ANN C.J.. C.J. And, the Majority Leader is gonna brief outside. If the majority leader wants to skip breakfast there'll be more pancakes for the rest of us. My press room can write about why. ANN [shrugs] Well, you can't blame a girl for trying. Toby enters. C.J. You need me? TOBY [points to Ann] Can I borrow her for a moment? C.J. We'll wait. Toby and Ann step out to the HALLWAY. TOBY These rules are crap. ANN The guidelines. We're working with C.J. right now. TOBY I could care less who says what in what order. I'm talking about what we say when we sit down. ANN You've got concerns. TOBY Yes, I do. ANN Name one. TOBY The president prefers maple syrup from New Hampshire. [Ann laughs.] I'm not kidding. ANN Then we'd better meet on this. TOBY Breakfast tomorrow. ANN What should I wear? TOBY I don't give a damn. [opens the door for her] ANN I've heard different. Ann returns to her meeting in THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. CAROL 945. So we got that straight. Where were we? ANN You were giving me and my staff an ultimatum. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - DAY Donna walks in. DONNA Sam. SAM Did you know there's a swimming pool underneath the press Briefing Room? DONNA I didn't. SAM There's a swimming pool underneath there. And I'll tell you what else. According to the OMB efficiency auditor, there are more people working in the West Wing of the White House than in any point in history. DONNA You wanna free up office space by kicking out the press corps. SAM Yeah. DONNA And putting in a swimming pool... SAM I realize that there are some flaws in my logic. DONNA Yeah. Leo needs a favor. SAM What? DONNA He needs you to go to dinner at Ben and Sally's and apologize to Karen Cahill for making fun of her shoes. SAM I didn't make fun of her shoes. DONNA He did. SAM I don't have any problem with her shoes. DONNA Leo did. SAM What was his problem with her shoes? DONNA Doesn't matter. Just do what you usually do. SAM Here's the thing. Sam stands up nervously and walks out of his office. Donna follows. DONNA What? SAM I don't do well with Karen. DONNA Why? SAM I get nervous. DONNA What happens? SAM I become unimpressive. DONNA In what way? SAM In many ways. DONNA You don't fall down, do you? SAM Once. DONNA You'll be fine. SAM You think? DONNA You'll be impressive. SAM I never have been before, but that's no reason to think I'm not gonna do it. DONNA Right. SAM You know why? DONNA Doesn't really matter. SAM Perseverance. You get right back on the horse. I'm gonna sit there and she's gonna go home saying, "that Sam Seaborn's impressive." I'm gonna say nice things about her. DONNA Reach for the stars, Sam! SAM I will! DONNA Good. They part. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Toby enters. LEO Yeah. TOBY I'm gonna have breakfast with Ann Stark tomorrow. LEO Leave it alone. TOBY I think we should be able to discuss the minimum wage and- LEO Toby. It's a brand new year. TOBY Let's not faf around! LEO It's breakfast. TOBY I know. It's breakfast. We're not gonna come up with solutions in 90 minutes. But we have the principles in a room and no cameras. The-[utters a small laugh] the leaders of the land. And not to talk about how we're gonna approach the minimum wage, the Patient's Bill of Rights, Tax relief, and education in the legislative session that's about to begin is a criminally negligent and cowardly refusal to do... what we were all sent her to do. [beat] This is what my ex-wife and I did for years. We had these rules. We could talk about anything but why we couldn't live with each other. I could've been two years younger right now. LEO There was a freshman democrat who came to Congress 50 years ago. He turned to a senior Democrat and said, "Where are the Republicans? I want to meet the enemy. The senior Democrat said, "The Republicans aren't the enemy. They're the opposition. The Senate is the enemy." Those days are over. Toby, in this climate... TOBY This climate is exactly what real bipartisan debate should look like. LEO This woman's had this job two weeks. I don't like dealing with people who are trying to impress me. TOBY I know her a little. LEO Have breakfast with her. TOBY Thank you. LEO Toby. TOBY Yeah. LEO Jenny and I wouldn't talk about it either. You know why? TOBY Why? LEO Because we loved each other and it was awful and we knew it was never gonna change. Ever. Toby leaves. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY TUESDAY TOBY [VO] I want them to talk about the minimum wage and I want them to talk about the Patient's Bill of Rights. CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE MESS - DAY Toby and Ann Stark are having breakfast. ANN I believe you might be talking about the Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act there, Toby. TOBY Yeah, well... ANN [pulls out a bag] I brought you a present. TOBY What is it? ANN Guess. TOBY Really? ANN Sure. TOBY Why? ANN I would think it'd be fun. TOBY You don't think it'd be a colossal waste of time? ANN You've lost your sense of humor. TOBY It's a bottle of New Hampshire maple syrup. ANN It's a CAN of New Hampshire maple syrup [unwraps the can with a red bow on it] and you just ruined what I think could have been a nice moment. Ann slides over the can, and Toby fingers it on the table. TOBY Ann. ANN You know, tax breaks are tax relief now and we're changing South Carolina to Italy. TOBY The minimum wage. ANN You cannot muster up the behavior to say thank you? TOBY For the syrup? ANN Yeah. TOBY Thank you. ANN [smiles] You're welcome! TOBY And congratulations. ANN Thank you. TOBY You are now the Chief of Staff to the most powerful Republican in the country. Obviously, a great deal of confidence has been placed into you... ANN Where's my present? TOBY For being promoted? ANN Yeah. TOBY [clapping his pockets] Uh... I don't have one. A waiter approaches their table. ANN Then give me my syrup back. [takes the syrup back] WAITER Are you ready to order? ANN He's going to need syrup; I have syrup here but he doesn't have any. TOBY Scrambled eggs, wheat toast and coffee, please. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is reflected in the glass in front of Carol. C.J. Carol, did the President say that the stats were even more staggering right here, in Washington, D.C.? Carol walks inside. CAROL Yeah. C.J. Would you remind me to clarify that? CAROL Why? C.J. He was in Louisville, Kentucky, when he said it. Carol nods and exits the office. Sam walks in. SAM Hey! C.J. Hey. SAM You got my note? C.J. About moving the Press Room to the OEOB... SAM Yeah. C.J. [in a sweetly patronizing tone] I did. She walks past him outside her office. Sam follows. SAM And? C.J. Don't let anyone ever know that you wrote it and don't ever mention it again under any circumstances! SAM Moving the Press Room? C.J. See what you did? SAM C.J.... C.J. You mentioned it. SAM Look, if... C.J. You did it again. SAM No, I didn't. C.J. You were about to. SAM Just to OEOB, just across the street. C.J. We're not getting a swimming pool, Sam. SAM I know we're not getting a swimming pool, but we can get the much-needed office space. And we can put a little physical distance between the press and the President. And we can put them just across the street in a state-of-the-art facility. C.J. [constantly in motion, while Sam follows] By 'state-of-the-art,' you mean... SAM A room with... electricity. C.J. The press doesn't want physical distance from the President, and the American people would prefer it the President didn't have physical distance from the press! SAM C.J.! C.J. We can't exile the press! SAM The room I'm talking about is one hundred yards from where we're standing! C.J. It sends a signal we're trying to hide things from them. SAM We are trying to hide things from them. But I don't think we're going to be any better at it if they're across the street. C.J. [stops, very articulately] NO! SAM I'll get some more information for you. C.J. [walking away from him] I don't need more information. SAM So that you can ruminate on it. C.J. I don't need to ruminate! SAM Excellent! Donna walks by him. SAM Josh! DONNA How did it go? SAM Hang on a second. Sam follows Josh into JOSH'S OFFICE. JOSH [walking into his office with coffee] What do you need? SAM Did the monthly DNC go out yet? JOSH It's going out now. SAM Is there time to tack on a question? JOSH Yeah. Donna, get me the polling center at Global Strategies Group! DONNA [OS] Yep. JOSH What's the question? SAM C.J. thinks if we move the press out of the West Wing, the American people will object. JOSH She's crazy. SAM So I want to show her numbers. DONNA [OS] Mike at Global Strategies. JOSH [picks up the phone] I want to tack on a question, okay? "Would you object?.." "Would you have?.." "Yes or no would you have an objection if..." [to Sam, closing the mouthpiece] What should the question be? SAM "If the White House would move the Press Corps to Trenton, New Jersey, would you give a flying...?" JOSH Okay. [into the phone] "Would you object to the White House moving the Press Room out of the West Wing and into a facility across the street?" Read it back. Donna comes and stands at the threshold. DONNA [to Sam] How'd it go? SAM It went great. [to Josh] I had to talk to Karen Cahill last night. DONNA Did you fall down at all? SAM I did not. In fact, we were talking about the stability of former Soviet Republics and their fear of Islamic extremism and I have to say that I made some very scholarly points regarding the remains of nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan, and I have to believe... JOSH [behind him, reading a paper at his desk] Kazakhstan. SAM [turning to him] Hmmm? JOSH The nuclear weapons are in Kazakhstan. SAM I said Kyrgyzstan? JOSH Yeah. SAM Yeah, well, Kyrgyzstan has no nuclear weapons. JOSH No. SAM Kazakhstan is a country four times the size of Texas and has a sizable number of former Russian missile silos. JOSH Yeah. SAM Kyrgyzstan is on the side of a hill near China and has mostly nomads and sheep. DONNA I'm sure you got it right last night. SAM Yes. I'm sure. Okay. [leaves as in complete panic] CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Toby and Ann are walking back to TOBY'S OFFICE. ANN It's a photo-op, Toby. Let them talk about the Redskins and their kids. TOBY And why not talk about the minimum wage? ANN Because, you'll say you want it raised two dollars in 50-cent increments over two years and we'll say three years. TOBY Ann, do you know what a full-time worker, employed at five dollars and fifteen cents an hour, makes in a year? ANN Ten thousand seven hundred and twelve dollars. TOBY Which is 26 hundred dollars below the poverty line. Why have a minimum wage? ANN Now you're talking! TOBY Ann, I was just... ANN Do you really think raising the minimum wage is gonna put a dent in the poverty rate? TOBY I'm saying it could at least keep up with inflation! In the last thirty years, the purchasing power of the minimum wage has gone down 30%, while you know how much the stock market has gone up? ANN A hundred and fifteen percent. Toby, small businesses will fold or produce less because they can't afford to pay a federally mandated wage! The unemployed will, in turn, face higher prices while receiving no wage. TOBY Fine, so let's talk about it at breakfast! ANN No! TOBY Why? ANN Because, 20 senators will call me and say, 'What the hell are you doing, starting the ball rolling without us?' TOBY No, they will call and say, 'What the hell are you doing, rolling the ball at all?' You're gonna sandbag the thing in committee. You've shown us your whole hand. You're playing a game and not that well. ANN I just got here! TOBY Your predecessor didn't play it well. ANN Maybe that's why they gave me her job. TOBY Ann, we're not going to get screwed around on the wage hike. ANN No? TOBY We have the votes and you know it. ANN Well, having the votes doesn't matter that much if the leader decides there isn't going to be a vote. TOBY There is going to be a vote, straight up or down, and if there isn't, we'll offer the wage hike as an amendment on everything that moves! ANN Say that again? TOBY You heard me the first time. ANN Do you not remember that I am the same person who bought you a can of syrup? TOBY [smiles] Ann... ANN Toby, what have I done to make you think I'm scared of you? [beat] The Patient's Bill of Rights. TOBY We can talk about it? ANN We can spend fifteen minutes on dropping the litigation field. TOBY In exchange for what? ANN Some flowers wouldn't be out of line. TOBY In exchange for what? ANN The spirit of bipartisanship? TOBY In. Exchange. For what? ANN I want the press conference at the Hill. Our guys are tired of looking like the President's stupid cousin. TOBY That's all? ANN Yeah. TOBY You want the press conference at the Hill? ANN Yeah. TOBY Done. ANN C.J. Cregg says no. TOBY C.J. works for me. ANN [laughs, stands up as Toby walks her out] Thank you for breakfast. TOBY You're welcome. Ann leaves. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet is reading in a chair as Charlie walks in. Bartlet, not seeing him, yells. BARTLET Charlie! CHARLIE [quietly] Yes, sir. BARTLET Who's the next meeting? CHARLIE Kim Woo of Singapore. You want the cheat sheet? BARTLET I don't need a cheat sheet. [takes his glasses off] Kim Woo, he won a bronze medial for fencing, he's a Buddhist, and he enjoys European History. You see Charles's even thought it's a handshake, I'm able to make him feel like a friend and that's a little thing they call 'people skills.' CHARLIE Kim Woo's a woman, sir. BARTLET The man's an Olympic athlete, Charlie. I wouldn't say that to his face. CHARLIE Sir? BARTLET What else? CHARLIE [gives Bartlet a file] Sam wanted me to show you some remarks he jotted down for your toast at the breakfast tomorrow. BARTLET on glasses, reads] Ladies and Gentleman. [beat] That's funny. [pause, while he reads] Yeah, that's funny. [laughs, to Charlie] She's a woman? CHARLIE Yes. BARTLET Did you mark that down? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET [reads the speech] "We spend so much time demonizing the other side, treating our opponents as if they were strangers with which we share nothing in common that we've lost sight perhaps of the greater truths." [beat, to Charlie] Did you know it's bad luck to toast with water? CHARLIE I didn't. BARTLET Yeah, you don't want to make a toast with water. CHARLIE Should we go, sir? [about to leave] BARTLET From Greek mythology, I'm almost sure. You lose your spirit. [reads again] CHARLIE To what? BARTLET [continues reading] Hmm? CHARLIE To what do you loose your spirit? BARTLET That's a great question, Charlie, and I could tell you, but I think it's better if you look it up on your own. CHARLIE I'll hit the library as soon as I get off work tonight at 1:00 AM. [gathers his coat] BARTLET [reads] "That we lost sight of the greater truths. There's a lot more that unites Americans than divides them." That's good. "There's a lot more that unites Americans than divides them." [stands up] Remind me to tell Sam that's good. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET And remind me not to make a toast with water. CHARLIE [helping him put his jacket on] Yes, sir. BARTLET Ah. Let's go... As they leave, Bartlet puts on his jacket. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY Donna is at her desk. Sam stands in the doorway behind her. SAM I said the wrong one. DONNA Maybe not. SAM I'm fairly certain. DONNA You had a 50/50 chance. SAM It was Karen Cahill. There was a 99 of a 100 chance of saying the right one. I said the wrong one. DONNA [walking over to a filing cabinet] Why do you guys get worked into a lather over Karen Cahill? SAM [following her] She's a very influential woman. DONNA You're a very influential man. SAM She's a columnist, she gets the last word. DONNA You talk to lots of columnists. SAM She has some kind of special powers. DONNA You think? SAM Yeah. DONNA Well, maybe you didn't get it wrong. SAM I got it wrong. DONNA No, maybe there really are remaining nuclear weapons in Kyrgizstan. SAM There are barely pots and pans in Kyrgizstan. DONNA You think the New York Times is going to make fun of you? SAM I do. DONNA Well you're kind of used to that by now, right? She begins walking down the hallway. SAM Yeah. [again following her] Here's what we're gonna do. DONNA We're gonna do something? SAM You're gonna talk to her. DONNA [stopping] I don't even know her. SAM You've met. DONNA Ohhuh we've been introduced. SAM And you said you felt the two of you made a connection. DONNA That's true. [starts walking again] SAM Here's what you're gonna do. DONNA [placing files on a desk] I connect with people, Sam. SAM Yes. DONNA I'm a people person. SAM That's great. You're going to the Southstreet Exhibit tonight. DONNA How did you know? SAM You told me. She's going too. DONNA How do you know? SAM She told me. DONNA So there's quite a bit of reconnaissance that went into this thing. SAM Yes. Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go up to her 'Hi I'm Donna Moss, I don't know if you remember me, I'm Josh Lyman's assistant.' You just had to come up to her cause you knew she'd get a kick out of this. Sam Seaborn's being so cute, he was talking to you and he thinks he may have said Kyrgizstan when he obviously meant Kazakhstan. DONNA Sam Seaborn's being so cute? SAM It 'd kill you? DONNA No. SAM Thank you. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is leaning over her table when Toby knocks on the open door. C.J. Yeah? TOBY Yeah. I just had breakfast with Ann Stark. C.J. Minimum wage? TOBY No. C.J. It's for the best. [moves to her desk] TOBY Why? C.J. Cause they'll be a fight. TOBY Yes. C.J. Toby... TOBY There should be a fight. We disagree on something important and immediate. C.J. Which means there should be a compromise. TOBY Which isn't going to happen by posing for a picture. C.J. It isn't gonna happen eating pancakes either, Toby, so let 'em tell dirty jokes for 90 minutes, shake hands, and start the year. TOBY Not when it's the taxpayers' pancakes. C.J. The taxpayers will be happy to know that the Democrats are trying to tighten heir belts where they can. TOBY They're willing to put a provision of the patients' bill up for discussion. C.J. Well, that's a little something you can all disagree on. TOBY Fifteen minutes. C.J. You can do a lot of disagreeing in fifteen minutes. TOBY In exchange she wants the press conference on the hill. C.J. Now she wants the whole thing on the hill?! TOBY Yeah, listen- C.J. I said 'no' yesterday to the split conference what makes her think... TOBY Because I'm asking you to. C.J. What!? TOBY That's what they get in exchange. C.J. Are you kidding me?! TOBY Look... C.J. Toby, are you kidding me?! TOBY Who cares whether...? C.J. First of all, I don't even know where to start... TOBY C.J. C.J. But first of all, if they say anything that needs a response I need twenty minutes with staff. I can't stand around there and huddle in front of the White House and Congressional Press Corps. TOBY There's not gonna be a surprise, you've already decided what you're gonna say, which is not much of anything at all! C.J. [steps in front of him] We don't speak for the President on the steps of the capital, we don't need to be offered their microphone it makes us look like less than what we are, in fact, it makes us look small! TOBY We're calling tax breaks tax reliefs, refusing to discuss raising the salary of those living in poverty, arguing the seating arrangement and you think that's going to make us look small? C.J. Toby. TOBY We're talking about the no litigation clause for fifteen minutes. I don't care if the damn press conference is outside the rotary club. She's clearly not happy, as she turns back to her desk. C.J. It shouldn't be me then. TOBY Fine. C.J. It should be the deputy. TOBY I'll tell Ann it's not going to be you. C.J. I think this is a bad idea. I think the first visual we get is that Congress is the seat of power and the President is irrelevant. Not only that, but you just took my legs out from under me with Ann! Are you ordering me to move it to the hill? TOBY I don't like doing that. C.J. You're gonna have to. TOBY [beat] Do it. FADE TO BLACK. WEDNESDAY FADE IN: EXT. OUTSIDE CAPITOL HILL - DAY This next part cuts back and forth between Toby's office, C.J.'s office, in front of the Capitol Building, and the room where Ann is watching the press conference. The speakers voices at the press conference fade in and out. Cuts will be marked by ~. Reporters and Congressman getting ready for the press conference. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Steve, the reporter, is waiting for C.J., as she walks in. C.J. It's about to start. STEVE C.J. C.J. Hey Steve, you should be up on the hill. STEVE I'm gonna watch it on TV. I wanted to ask you, are you guys thinking about moving the press room across he street? C.J. No. STEVE I heard you were discussing it. C.J. From who? STEVE Chris. C.J. It's starting. STEVE She seemed pretty sure you were discussing it. C.J. Why? STEVE She got called by a pollster who asked her how she felt... C.J. She got called by a pollster. STEVE Yeah. C.J. She herself got called. STEVE Anyway. CAROL It's starting. C.J. Let me get into it. STEVE Thanks. He leaves, as Carol comes in. A Congressman is speaking through the television. FIRST CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] Good morning. We're joined to day by Congressman Dade, Congressman Shallot, Senator Hammond and Senator Ford. Unfortunately the Senate Majority Leader has a sore throat and is unable to join us here, he's gone back to his office. We've just concluded a very frank and productive... C.J. When did he get a sore throat? CAROL I-I don't... C.J. She took the Majority Leader off the board. CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE CAPITOL HILL - CONTINUOUS FIRST CONGRESSMAN ...we all feel is an important moment of bipartisanship as we face the coming legislative session. We thought we'd answer some questions for a few moments this morning. Yes? FIRST REPORTER Was the Patients Bill of Rights discussed? FIRST CONGRESSMAN The Comprehensive Access and Responsibility Act, yes it was discussed. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS C.J. She took him off the board. A pause. C.J. appears to be thinking out loud. C.J. Was it a balance thing? No, she didn't want balance she wanted power. CAROL Maybe... C.J. Why would she take her boss off the board? FIRST CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] We discussed the litigation clause but again I don't want to get into the specifics of... Yes? C.J. We're about to get hit. CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE CAPITOL HILL - CONTINUOUS SECOND REPORTER What about minimum wage hike? FIRST CONGRESSMAN The wage hike was not discussed. SECOND REPORTER Well, are you considering a two-dollar increase over two years? FIRST CONGRESSMAN Well, we want the same thing over three years, certainly... CUT TO: INT. ANN STARK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Ann watches the conference from a monitor. ANN C'mon, Simon. FIRST CONGRESSMAN Greg? ANN Call on Simon. GREG Is it fair to say it's the Majority Leader whose holding this up and not the majority? FIRST CONGRESSMAN Well I don't think it's fair to say either. Yeah, in the back, Simon? SIMON Congressman, I'm quoting a Senior White House Aid who says they have the votes. The aid said that unless they get a straight vote up or down from the leader, and this is the quote, we're gonna attach it as an amendment on everything that moves. Ann smiles, like a coach whose player just hit a home run. CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Toby is starting to pay more attention, and he looks worried. FIRST CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] Could you say that again please? SIMON [on T.V.] The Senior Aide- FIRST CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] Listen, I don't want to comment on this CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS C.J. is watching the television intently. FIRST CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] I think I'd like to get back to the breakfast meeting. SECOND CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] Excuse me, but uh, my friend from Michigan is far too polite to comment on this. I am not burned with any such sense of etiquette. THIRD REPORTER [on T.V.] Congressman... SECOND CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] This is disgraceful. I think the record should show that a spit ball contest was begun behind our back through the press and before the 107th Congress was even gaveled into session. C.J.'s phone rings. SECOND CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] Want some quotes? Open your notepads. CAROL It's Toby. SECOND CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] It's sadly not atypical of this White House... ~ TOBY I'm the Senior Aide. C.J. No kidding. [to Carol] Get me Henry. SECOND CONGRESSMAN [on T.V.] We came her in an honest effort to find common ground... CAROL [holding the cell] Henry. C.J. I've got Henry. What do you want? CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Toby is silent. SECOND CONGRESSMAN ...in this legislative session. If the White House insists on saying one thing to our face and another... CUT TO: INT. ANN STARK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Ann is satisfied with the result. SECOND CONGRESSMAN ...to us through the media. If the White House insists on ambushing us with ultimatums in the press... CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS C.J. What do you want me to do, Toby? TOBY [pause] Don't let him take the podium. You'll take questions in the briefing room in 20 minutes. C.J. hangs up, and speaks through the cell phone. C.J. Henry, get home. CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Toby slams the phone down. He's been played and he's not happy. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. OUTSIDE LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Toby, C.J., Sam, and Josh are waiting outside Leo's office. No one wants to speak. Leo enters and conversation moves into LEO'S OFFICE. LEO Hey, what the hell happened? TOBY That was me. [sighs] I gave Ann Stark the quote and she fed it to a reporter. LEO Why'd you give her the quote? TOBY It wasn't a quote when I gave it to her. LEO What the hell was it? TOBY I was letting her know we have the votes... LEO She knows we have the votes. TOBY I wasn't... LEO She was just promoted to Chief of Staff of the Senate Majority Leader. You don't think she knows we have the votes? TOBY [sighing] I misunderstood my relationship with Ann Stark. LEO Yes, you did. And now it looks like we went to the press and went for his knees. SAM Excuse me but Toby's not the one who gave it to the press! LEO You think the Majority Leader's going to believe that? TOBY No. LEO It was a breakfast. It was a damn photo opportunity. The year is one week old. The legislative session hasn't begun and we can't put a forkful of waffles in our mouth without coughing up the ball. You got beat. TOBY Yes. C.J. I have press in ten minutes... LEO Figure it out. Tell me what you're going to do. They all exit and begin walking down the HALLWAY. JOSH We can take the high road and say we don't want it to disintegrate into a war of words. SAM We don't want to disrupt the fragile peace... C.J. The fragile peace has been disrupted. We've been accused of ambushing the Majority Leader in the press. JOSH Also Labour's going to want to know if we stand by the minimum wage. SAM Why don't we pass it off to Labour? Have the Labour Secretary make a statement "We support the two dollar minimum wage." JOSH Yeah, let's emphasize the close we are on this. SAM "We support the minimum wage hike over two years. The Republicans want it over three years. We're close to an agreement..." C.J. Sounds like we're close to agreeing on 30 months which we're not, and no one's going to want to cover a statement from the Labour Secretary which is good, 'cause if they did it'd look like we're ducking. SAM No, I don't think... TOBY She's right. We can't be passive and the high road doesn't go where we need it to. [All sigh.] Be cool, be funny, smack them down hard. SAM The Majority Leader is tragically out of touch with the needs of real people. JOSH And why wasn't he at the podium? A sore throat? We know how tough that can be. Thank goodness he had health insurance. SAM There it is! C.J. That's the sound bite. JOSH And that's the new story. C.J. Toby? TOBY Do it. C.J. Carol, I need voting stats on health care. [walks off] CAROL [OS] Five minutes! JOSH How's this for a phrase "You can lay down in front of the train or you can get on board?" SAM That's a really bad phrase. JOSH Is it better if it's "You can get on board the train or you can lay down in front of it?" SAM No it's really bad either way. Donna walks in from the bullpen. DONNA Josh, this was delivered by messenger. JOSH What is it? Donna lifts the yellow envelope to her eyes. DONNA It's... wait... wait... no. Damn, my x-ray vision is failing me today. JOSH Give me that. Josh wanders off. Sam and Donna move into JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. SAM How'd it go? DONNA Last night? SAM Did you talk to her? DONNA Yes, I did and I explained you might have said "Kyrgyzstan" when of course you meant "Kazakhstan." SAM Did you say it was cute the way I worried about it? DONNA I did. SAM Did it turn out I got it wrong? DONNA She said she wasn't really listening while you were talking. SAM Okay... DONNA I, on the other hand, had a most stimulating conversation with her. It was pithy, it was erudite, and most importantly it required no next day follow up explanation. JOSH [OS] Donna? Josh wanders back in. DONNA What was in the envelope? JOSH Your underwear. Donna's face falls. DONNA What? JOSH I'm holding... your underwear... in my hand... right now. And the way I know it's your underwear is that your name sewn in the back, which is obviously something we'll spend some time talking about at a later date. DONNA How did you get my underwear? SAM Donna, did you by any chance where the same pair of pants two days in a row this week? DONNA No. JOSH Donna? DONNA [reluctantly] Yes. JOSH Okay, when you get dressed on day two did you check the pant leg for the previous day's underwear? DONNA I don't need to check the pant leg for... JOSH Donna. DONNA [sighs] They fell out of my pants? JOSH It would appear that way. DONNA Where? JOSH The South Street exhibit. DONNA Where? JOSH On the floor in front of Karen Cahill. DONNA Please tell me she's not the one... JOSH She sent a note. Donna gasps. C.J. [walks by] Fred and Ethel, would you follow me please? JOSH She's talking about us. Josh tosses Donna her underwear and exits with Sam. She stuffs them in a desk drawer. C.J. Did a question get tacked on to the monthly DNC tracking poll about moving the press room? SAM Yes, it did. Because I at least wanted to shoot down the argument that the public... C.J. The public gets their news from the press, and the press gets their news... SAM It's a private poll. The press doesn't have access to it. C.J. So they don't know what questions we're asking? SAM Yeah. C.J. Are you sure? SAM The only way they'd know what questions were being asked is if they were actually called by one of the pollsters and... Oh my god! C.J. Yes. SAM A reporter got called by one of the pollsters? C.J. Yes, indeed. JOSH Wow. What are the chances of that? SAM The chances of that are astronomical. C.J. Guys... JOSH We can calculate it. They sample 800 respondents... C.J. Would the two of you stop being amazed by the mathematics! SAM All right, I'd pass it off. Just say some poor schnook in the management office got the idea and wanted to kick it around. C.J. Sam. SAM It's going to be me, right? C.J. Yeah. SAM Ok. JOSH You ready? C.J. Yeah. JOSH You had a lot of opportunities today to say 'I told you so' and score some points with Leo. You're a class act. C.J. Why were you holding women's underwear before? JOSH Never really needed a reason. Eat 'em up. C.J. enters THE BRIEFING ROOM. REPORTERS C.J.! C.J.! C.J.! CUT TO: EXT. SHOT OF THE CAPITOL BUILDING - NIGHT 11:05 P.M. NEWCASTER [VO] White House Press Secretary C.J. Cregg characterized the Republican response as bizarre... CUT TO: INT. ANN STARK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Ann is watching C.J. on TV. C.J. [on T.V.] There was no intent to 'ambush' the Republican Party with an issue that's been on the table for over a year. NEWCASTER Ann Stark, recently installed Chief of Staff in the Majority Leader's office, said that she was surprised by the White House's information... Knocking on the door and Toby enters. TOBY And shocked. Shocked, I say, to discover that there is gambling going on in this establishment. ANN Maybe if you'd gotten me a gift of some kind... TOBY You think this is funny? ANN You used to have a sense of humor, Toby. Toby grunts. ANN Nah, you never used to have a sense of humor, Toby. TOBY Ann... ANN I think you're going to have to start getting next to the idea that your party isn't in the majority. TOBY My party's in the White House. ANN A building with which the Constitution does not endow sovereign power. TOBY You think I'm going to sit around while you reduce the President to Prime Minister? ANN Stand or sit, we're in the majority and things are going to have to look it. And by the way, don't ever walk into my office without an appointment! TOBY You think this could wait until an election year? ANN When is it not an election year? TOBY Because ten years ago we used to be able to sit down, we'd order a couple of bourbons, we'd talk about health care, we'd talk about the minimum wage. [chuckles softly] He didn't have a sore throat. ANN No. TOBY You kept him off the board so he could come back on and fix it. ANN Yeah. TOBY When are you going to announce? ANN Announce what? TOBY That he's running for President. ANN I'm pretty sure we just did. Toby exits. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Bartlet and Charlie are watching C.J. on Mrs. Landingham's T.V. C.J. Good morning. I'm going to read a short statement in response to the rather bizarre take on what was otherwise an unremarkable... BARTLET I think the whole damn thing is bizarre. They walk into THE OVAL OFFICE. CHARLIE Mr. President, I don't know if this is the right moment... BARTLET The right moment for what? CHARLIE Donna Moss needs a favor. While talking last night to Karen Cahill, she accidentally dropped her underwear. She feels that there's a chance Karen Cahill may have misinterpreted that and Donna asked me to ask you if you would call Karen Cahill and make it clear she wasn't making a sexual advance. BARTLET Well, I'm not sure there is a right moment for you to ask me that, Charlie. CHARLIE So I should tell her no? BARTLET Yeah. LEO [enters] Good evening, Mr. President BARTLET Donna wants me to call Karen Cahill and make it clear she wasn't hitting on her when she gave her her underwear. LEO Yeah, that's 'cause I made fun of her shoes and Sam said there were nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan and Donna went to clear up the mix up and accidentally left her underwear. BARTLET There can't possibly be nuclear weapons in Kyrgyzstan. LEO Mr. President, please don't wade hip deep into this story. CHARLIE Sir? BARTLET Okay. Yeah. CHARLIE Toby. BARTLET [shaking his head] I'm going to bed. If anybody thinks of new ways for us to make friends don't hesitate to wake me. Or, you know, just feel free to start a fire. LEO Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Good night. Bartlet exits along the outside corridor, passes all the windows, which Toby can see. Charlie exits the Oval Office. CHARLIE Toby. Toby enters the Oval Office. TOBY He didn't want to see me. LEO He'll be all right in the morning. TOBY Yeah. LEO You're the Communications Director. It was a TV show. TOBY It was a blunder from top to bottom. You should know it could have been avoided at several points along the way if I'd listened to C.J. LEO Or me. TOBY Yeah. LEO Alexander Hamilton didn't think we should have political parties. Neither did John Adams. He thought political parties led to divisiveness. TOBY They do. They should. We have honest disagreements. Arguments are good. LEO Only if they lead to statesmanship. Or it's just theatre. And statesmanship is compromise. TOBY What about persuasion? They're coming for us, Leo. LEO I know. TOBY I mean they're coming for us now. LEO Toby, if you knew what it was like getting him to run the first time... TOBY I know. LEO Like pushing molasses up a sandy hill. If I go and tell him it's time to run again he's going to get crazy... and frustrated. He's going to sink into his head and he's going to say he's not running. TOBY Yeah. LEO Yeah. TOBY So we've got to do it for him. We'll keep it away from this office but we've got to get real now. Leo, Ann Stark's a war time consigliere. That's why she was bumped up. LEO I'm a wartime consigliere too, Toby. I was just hoping it'd be peace time a little longer. TOBY Yeah. LEO Son of a bitch! TOBY Yeah. LEO Shake my hand. Toby does. LEO We just formed it. TOBY Formed what? LEO The Committee to Reelect the President. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 2.11 -- "The Leadership Breakfast" Original Airdate: January 10, 2001, 9:00 PM EST Transcribed by: OutcastHippo, Leelee, Irene, AmyBecca, and BumbleLion