Christmas draws near as an unstable Josh (Bradley Whitford) is ordered by Leo (John Spencer) to consult with a doctor who specializes in analyzing trauma victims. What’s particularly telling is Josh’s identification with a dead fighter pilot who recently took his own life by deliberately crashing his jet — a man who coincidentally shared his birthday and experienced emotional trauma after being shot down over Bosnia. Elsewhere: the President wants to personally sign all of his Christmas cards — which total hundreds of thousands; Sam (Rob Lowe) confronts a representative of the Energy Secretary who publicly advocates release of federal oil reserves; C.J.(Allison Janney) gets personally involved when a foreign White House tourist becomes extremely agitated at the sight of a painting donated by the French government.
THE WEST WING 'NOEL' TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN STORY BY: PETER PARNELL DIRECTED BY: THOMAS SCHLAMME TEASER FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - A SECLUDED ROOM - DAY CHRISTMAS EVE Josh pushes the double doors into a slightly bright room. Waiting for him inside is the scheduled therapist, DR. STANLEY KEYWORTH. In the corner of the room is KAYTHA TRASK. Josh approaches them to say hello as Dr. Keyworth and Kaytha stand up. JOSH Hi. STANLEY KEYWORTH Hi, Josh. KAYTHA TRASK Hi. STANLEY I'm Stanley Keyworth. This is Kaytha Trask. JOSH Josh Lyman. KAYTHA Hi. JOSH Do I call you doctor? STANLEY I'm sorry? JOSH Is it Dr. Keyworth? STANLEY Oh, whatever you want. You can call me Stanley if you want. JOSH [to Kaytha] And Dr...? I'm sorry? KAYTHA Trask. But it's not doctor. I'm not a psychologist. STANLEY [as he sits] Kaytha is, uh, training as a traumatologist. JOSH I was wondering why there were two of you. STANLEY Kaytha's training. You don't mind, do you? JOSH No. Kaytha slowly goes back to the corner to her chair. Stanley eyes Josh's bandaged hand. STANLEY What happened to your hand? JOSH [sits] I-I uh, I cut it putting down a glass. STANLEY It broke? JOSH Yeah. STANLEY The glass broke? JOSH Yeah. Stanley writes something in one of his papers. STANLEY Well, uh, let me tell you about who we are. JOSH Sure. STANLEY We're from ATVA. JOSH Yeah. STANLEY That's the American Trauma Victims Association. JOSH Yeah. STANLEY We're commonly called in by the government to work with trauma victims. I'll give you some examples. The pipe bomb at Lancaster Middle School. We worked with the parents and the kids... JOSH [interrupts] Tulsa, Hurricane Beth, the Chatham fires, the Iowa tornadoes, the FBI raid in Rock Creek. STANLEY So, you are familiar with us? JOSH Dr. Keyworth, I'm the Deputy White House Chief of Staff. I oversee 1100 White House employees. I answer directly to Leo McGarry and the President of the United States. Do you think you're talking to the paperboy? STANLEY No. JOSH In your wildest dreams did you imagine that I'd walk in this room without knowing exactly who you are and what you do? STANLEY No. JOSH Then why did you lie to me right off the bat? STANLEY Josh... JOSH [indicating Kaytha] She's not here training! STANLEY As a matter of fact, she is. JOSH I read briefing books everyday on subjects considerably more complicated than ATVA. STANLEY She is here training in trauma therapy. JOSH Yeah, but that's not why there are two of you. STANLEY No. JOSH That's not the reason why there are two of you. STANLEY No. JOSH I get up, go to the bathroom, go to my office, answer the phone -- one of you watches me. STANLEY Yeah. JOSH Stanley, you got off to a bad start. STANLEY Yes, I did. JOSH Yes, you did. STANLEY Let's start again. JOSH You gonna lie to me this time? STANLEY No. You gonna lie to me? JOSH Haven't yet. STANLEY Really? JOSH Yeah. Stanley nods and waits a moment. STANLEY How did you cut your hand? Josh suddenly does not respond. STANLEY You're not talking to the paperboy, either, Josh. We close in on the speechless Josh and -- SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. SECLUDED ROOM - DAY Josh's therapy continues. STANLEY I'd asked a woman for some coffee a few minutes ago. Do you want some coffee? JOSH No thanks. STANLEY Tea? JOSH No. STANLEY Maybe later. JOSH Yeah. STANLEY The woman I asked works for you I think... Donna? JOSH Yeah. STANLEY She works for you? JOSH She's my assistant. STANLEY Was she at Rosalyn? JOSH It's Rosslyn. STANLEY I'm sorry? JOSH The shooting took place at Rosslyn, Virginia, not Rosalyn. STANLEY I'm sorry. I'm not from around here. JOSH Where are you from? STANLEY San Francisco, California. JOSH I always thought it was San Franchisco. STANLEY Was she with you? JOSH Donna? STANLEY Yeah. JOSH Nope. STANLEY Who was with you? JOSH Everybody was with me. We'd just gone to a Town Hall meeting. We'd just gotten off television. STANLEY Who's everybody? JOSH The President travels with a large group of people. STANLEY Who's...? JOSH It was geared to young people. There were Department of Education people, event staff, obviously C.J. Cregg and the press corps, Leo McGarry was there, Bob Shanahan, Toby Ziegler, Ziegler's deputy Sam Seaborn, Zoey Bartlet was there obviously, Charlie Young... STANLEY Who was with you? Josh makes a face. STANLEY Josh, I'm trying to get you to tell me what happened. JOSH Stanley, I walked out of the building, I heard gunshots, people started screaming, I woke up in a hospital room. STANLEY Okay. What happened 3 weeks ago? JOSH I don't know what you're referring to. STANLEY I don't know what I'm referring to either but some of the people you work with became concerned with your behavior three weeks ago. JOSH Well, I've been concerned with their behavior since long before that. STANLEY Josh. JOSH They were talking about the pilot. STANLEY The pilot? JOSH Robert Cano, the Air Force pilot. STANLEY And what about him? JOSH I don't know. STANLEY You just said they were talking about the pilot JOSH I said they may have been talking about the pilot. STANLEY Well that's not what you said. JOSH There was a lot going on. There was the IMF treaty, the petroleum reserves, Alaska, the President's... STANLEY But you mentioned the pilot. JOSH I didn't mention the pilot for any specific reason. I was saying there was a lot happening three weeks ago. STANLEY Okay then let's talk about three weeks ago. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - THREE WEEKS AGO Josh enters the White House lobby where Toby is standing watching a brass quintet play 'Joy To The World' very loudly. JOSH Toby! TOBY Yeah? JOSH What the hell's going on? TOBY What do you mean? JOSH Who are these guys? TOBY They're a brass quintet. JOSH I'm sorry? TOBY [yelling] A brass quintet... two trumpets, trombone, baritone horn, French horn. Do you like them? JOSH Do I like them for what? TOBY To play Christmas carols here in the lobby in the morning and evenings as people are coming and going. JOSH No. TOBY Why? JOSH Because this isn't the Paramus mall. TOBY Let me tell you something, the last two Christmases in this White House I've been accused of not being in the proper spirit. I was called names. Not this year! For the next three weeks I will be filling this lobby with music in the mornings and evenings so that we may all experience this season of... [turning to musicians with annoyance] Would you people stop playing for one damn minute! The brass quintet dies out. TOBY This season of peace and joy. JOSH Okay. TOBY So what do you think? JOSH They seem fine. TOBY And the loose change they collect goes to pay for musical instruments in DC public schools. They start to walk. JOSH Toby, Ben Zaharian stepped off the reservation last night. TOBY What'd he do? [over shoulder] You guys can keep playing. The band starts up again and can be heard throughout the halls. JOSH He was at a Q&A at the NRDC about drilling the North Slope. He was asked if the President would consider tapping into the SPR and he said tapping into the SPR has a lot of merit. TOBY I'll get into it. JOSH Thank you. Josh exits. Toby sees Sam. TOBY Sam! SAM Yeah. TOBY Ben Zaharian did a Q&A last night and he was asked a question about the strategic petroleum reserve. SAM And he said the SPR's for emergencies like times of war? TOBY He said tapping into the SPR has a lot of merit. SAM I'll talk to a deputy. TOBY Would you please go in and give C.J. a heads up? CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS ROOM - CONTINUOUS C.J. is at the briefing. Carol is by the side. C.J. ...And expressed his confidence when the IMF and the World Bank meet in Prague next week some of those restrictions will be relaxed. REPORTERS C.J.! FEMALE REPORTER To what extent could Pete Didian's objections throw a wrench into the works? C.J. Well congress isn't in session but you mean... Sam enters. FEMALE REPORTER Yeah after the first. C.J. He sits on the foreign ep sub committee so... Mark. MARK This is way out of left field but do you know anything about a woman... I don't know how to say this... going a little crazy during a tour. C.J. A White House tour? Sam passes Carol a note who passes it along to C.J. MARK Yeah, a woman saw a painting and started screaming. C.J. I don't know Mark. There's a painting of Dolly Madison in the grand foyer. You catch it in the wrong light it can scare the... The reporters chuckle. MARK Okay. C.J. What else? Katie? KATIE C.J., last night the energy secretary gave a speech at the Natural Resource Defense Council about the perils of drilling on the North Slope. During a Q&A he was asked about tapping into the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to help ease oil prices. He responded that the idea had a lot of merit. Does this signal a shift in policy since last June? C.J. glances at Sam who gives her a small nod. C.J. No, it doesn't, but I will say that a bad idea in June isn't necessarily a bad idea in December. KATIE Why? C.J. You don't need to lower the price of heating oil during the summer. Thank you everyone. C.J. goes over to Sam. Both walk out to the HALLWAY. SAM Thank you. C.J. Is somebody going to speak to somebody? SAM I'll talk to a deputy. C.J. Please. SAM What do you suppose that was about with the woman? C.J. What woman? SAM The woman who went crazy on the tour? C.J. We get about five of those a week. SAM Really? C.J. Yeah. SAM What exactly about the White House tour makes them go crazy? C.J. The blue blazers? You're going to talk to someone at the energy department. SAM Yeah. They separate. JOSH comes up and begins to walk through the halls with C.J. JOSH Good save. C.J. Thank you. Where's the President? JOSH The situation room. C.J. What's going on? JOSH Something about a pilot. CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY Enter the President and Leo. Everyone stands. BARTLET What's going on? Sit down. MAN 1 Mr. President an F16 Falcon from the 27-fighter wing at Cannon Air Force Base in New Mexico has left his group. BARTLET What does that mean? KEN Returning home from an exercise the flight leader visually realized that the tail plane was no longer in formation. MAN 1 There was no communication from the aircraft and now it refuses to respond to urgent radio calls. BARTLET Is he in there alone? Is there a crew? LEO The Falcon is a single seat fighter. BARTLET Did he crash? MAN 2 If he crashed he would have triggered electronic signals that would have been picked up by ground base. BARTLET Is there any chance he's trying to contact the ground and can't? MAN 1 Massive collapse of this plane's communication system isn't very likely. LEO Ken, what does he have up there? KEN Well he's got a 20mm Vulcan cannon and 7 AIM sidewinder missiles. BARTLET Is his intention to defect with a military asset or his intention to blow something up? MAN 1 We don't know what his intention is. BARTLET Don't our fighter pilors have to go through some kind of psychological testing? KEN Oh they go through extensive screening sir. He was deemed psychologically fit to fly. BARTLET Let me ask a ridiculous question and I know the answer is no. Is there any way to bring this plane down without shooting it down? MAN 1 No sir. BARTLET What about populated areas? KEN We can take him over the Sierra Madres. MAN 1 Mr. President, it's possible the pilot lost consciousness due to a dramatic loss of air pressure and that's why this is happening. MAN 2 We've scrambled F16 out of Edwards to get a visual sighting. MAN 1 If the pilot is dead they'll see signs in the cockpit, if he's conscious he'll know he's been painted and he'll be given an order by the interceptors to land at a designated area. KEN If he doesn't that's when we make a decision. BARTLET Yeah okay. STANLEY [VO] And that's the first time you heard about the pilot? CUT TO: INT. THE SECLUDED MEETING ROOM - PRESENT We go back to Josh and his meeting. JOSH [very tired] I'm sorry? STANLEY That was the first time you heard about the pilot? JOSH No I wasn't in the situation room. I don't sit in on those meetings. STANLEY But that day was when you first heard out the pilot? JOSH Yeah they'd tell me a little later because I had an assignment. STANLEY Having to do with the pilot? JOSH Yeah. STANLEY What was it? JOSH I'm sorry if this question sounds rude but how long will we be here today? STANLEY Well I'm sorry if this answer sounds rude but as long as I want. I was asked here by Leo McGarry. JOSH I know who asked you here. STANLEY Three weeks ago, the pilot. JOSH For the fourth time there was a lot going on that day and I'm not sure why we have to be fixated on... STANLEY What was the assignment with the pilot? JOSH I was supposed to look into his personal records to figure out why he... There's a loud knocking on the door. Josh jumps. We flash to Josh in a white dress shirt and undone tie at home as someone knocks on his door. He looks very startled and his hand is bleeding. We cut back to the room. STANLEY It's the coffee, Josh. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - THREE WEEKS AGO Leo and Josh are walking down the hallway together. Leo is holding a coffee cup. JOSH When did you find out? LEO We were in the situation room about an hour ago. JOSH How long has he been up there? LEO Ninety minutes since he broke formation. He grabs a cookie as they continue walking. LEO [cont.] They've deployed the 57th Fighter Wing from Nellis, Nevada, the 388th, the 58th from Arizona, the 301st out of Texas. JOSH How long before I see this on television? LEO I'm amazed News Center 4 doesn't have their traffic helicopter up there right now. JOSH And how long before we make visual contact? LEO About ten minutes. JOSH What do we know about the pilot? LEO Not as much as I'd like to. JOSH Want me to get into it? LEO Get the biographical info. How did this guy get through a fairly intense psychological screening process? JOSH Yeah. LEO We gave this guy an $18 million warplane. JOSH I'll get in to it. Leo walks off, and Josh keeps walking. He bumps into Donna. JOSH Sorry. Donna. DONNA I have the personnel file for the pilot. JOSH How did you know I was going to ask you for that? DONNA I'm tuned to you. JOSH Seriously. DONNA I anticipate your every need. JOSH Yeah, but to be walking by with the guy's personnel file? DONNA They called me ten minutes ago, Josh, don't be a yutz. They both stop walking for a beat. JOSH Oh. They resume walking, and go through the LOBBY, where the quintet is playing 'God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.' DONNA On the other hand, you're a very handsome man. JOSH What do you need? DONNA You're a very powerful and a very handsome man. JOSH What do you need? DONNA You know how I never ask you for anything? JOSH [sounding annoyed] What do you need? DONNA Yo-Yo Ma is playing at the Christmas party. JOSH Which one? DONNA Congressional. JOSH Fine. DONNA I can come? JOSH Give me the file. DONNA Can I come? JOSH To the Congressional Christmas party? DONNA Yeah. JOSH Yeah. DONNA You can take your Pablo Casals, you can keep your Rostopovich, I say Yo-Yo Ma rules. JOSH Hmm. DONNA What? DONNA stops to make copies. JOSH [looking over the file] This guy? The pilot? DONNA What about him? JOSH He's got the same birthday as me. I'll be in here. Josh heads for his office. Sam walks up to him. SAM Josh. JOSH Yeah? SAM So I spoke to Jessie Witt at Energy. JOSH Yeah. SAM I dressed her down pretty good. JOSH They're not going to get us to change our policy on the SPR by announcing that we should change our policy. [goes behind his desk] SAM And I told her that, I told her that in no uncertain terms. [looks down at the file] JOSH And? SAM I think we should change our policy. JOSH I kind of have to do this thing right now. Can we talk about it later? SAM Yeah. [starts to leave] JOSH [sits] You know this guy, the pilot? SAM Yeah. [turns] JOSH We have the same birthday. SAM Okay, well, I'm gonna go talk to Leo about the SPR. JOSH Yeah. Sam leaves and Josh begins to look at the file. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY C.J. and a woman are walking in the hall. WOMAN C.J. C.J Yeah? WOMAN Bernard Thatch from the White House Visitor's office is waiting for you inside. C.J. Yeah, I asked him to come see me. The woman walks off and C.J. enters THE ROOSEVELT ROOM, where BERNARD THATCH is waiting for her. He is a tall guy with a hard English accent. BERNARD THATCH Claudia Jean. C.J. How you doing, Bernard? [They shake hands.] BERNARD I'm not at all well. C.J. That's not unusual, is it? BERNARD No. C.J. I understand there was an incident on a tour. BERNARD There's always an incident on a tour. People touch things. C.J. Well, you should punish them for that, Bernard. BERNARD I've begged my supervisors to allow me. C.J. This had to do with a painting. BERNARD Oh, yes. It's all in the report. It wasn't a problem. C.J. Yeah, but it made it to the Press Room, so I just wanted to check in. BERNARD The guide was pointing out the Gustave Callioux hanging outside the Blue Room. C.J. nods. BERNARD A woman began screaming completely incoherently. C.J. In English? BERNARD If it was a language at all, its origin was unknown to me. I sent for the agent on duty, who attempted to take a statement, but not speaking whatever language was simply escorted her out of the building. C.J. Well, okay. Thanks for stopping by. They begin to move towards the door. BERNARD C.J., your necklace is a monument to bourgeois taste. C.J. Thank you. [fingers necklace] BERNARD You're welcome. Bernard exits the room, and C.J. follows him. They proceed to have a pedoconference. C.J. Listen, who is Gustave Callioux, and how long has this painting been hanging outside the Blue Room? BERNARD Callioux was a contemporary of Courbet, who was considerably more gifted. This is a painting of the cliffs of Etretat, cleverly titled "The Cliffs of Etretat. It is a minor work. C.J. What's it doing here? BERNARD It was on loan from the Musee d'Orsay to the National Gallery. The President, on a visit to the gallery, and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, announced that he liked the painting. The French government offered it as a gift to the White House. [Both stop walking.] I suppose in retribution for EuroDisney. So here it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod. C.J. You're a snob. BERNARD Yes. Bernard leaves, and C.J., smiling, walks the other way. BARTLET [VO] I'd stay on the phone with Cashmen and Berryhill. CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Charlie enters in on a meeting, and we see Bartlet sitting with several staffers. BARTLET They're going to know when the F-16's have painted him before I will. WOMAN Thank you, Mr. President. Everyone gets up and moves to leave. BARTLET Thank you. Charlie hands Bartlet a folder. BARTLET When I was in tenth grade me and my friends took my dad's Ford Country Squire for a joyride to Vermont. He locked me in the garage till Easter. They exit the room, into the HALLWAY. BARTLET What do you think we should do with this pilot once we get his ass on the ground? CHARLIE You think that's gonna happen? BARTLET [sadly] No. CHARLIE Mr. President, they've asked me to talk to you about your Christmas cards. BARTLET What about them? They both walk in THE OVAL OFFICE. CHARLIE They want to know which ones you're going to sign by hand and which ones get the autopen. BARTLET I'm gonna sign them all by hand. CHARLIE Sir, we went through this last year. BARTLET I'm gonna sign them all by hand. CHARLIE I'm not sure that's practical. BARTLET I don't like the whole idea of the autopen. CHARLIE Nonetheless. BARTLET Let's do them all by hand. How many can there be? CHARLIE Christmas cards. BARTLET How many am I sending out? CHARLIE 1,110,000. BARTLET Seriously? CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET I'm sending out 1.1 million Christmas cards? [sits down] CHARLIE It's a three-tier system, sir. There are about a thousand names on the First Family's list, then there are about a one hundred thousand campaign workers and contributors. BARTLET Who are the other million? CHARLIE You send a Christmas card to everyone who writes a letter to the White House. BARTLET I do? CHARLIE Yes, sir. And somewhere around a million people wrote you letters this year. BARTLET Okay, but some of those were death threats. CHARLIE They've weeded those out. BARTLET Well, I'm not signing 1.1 million cards. CHARLIE I wouldn't think so. Charlie starts to leave, and Leo enters. LEO Mr. President? BARTLET 1.1 million cards? CHARLIE Yes, sir. [exits] BARTLET [to Leo] Yeah? LEO Situation Room. BARTLET What happened? CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT JOSH He was dead. STANLEY The pilot. JOSH Robert Cano, yeah. Leo came and told me. STANLEY What had you found out about him? JOSH [quietly] What do you mean? STANLEY You were supposed to learn about the pilot and brief the President. JOSH I didn't learn anything. STANLEY Well, you must have learned something. JOSH There wasn't time. There was maybe twenty minutes between when I got the assignment and when Leo came in. STANLEY How'd he die? JOSH Cano? STANLEY Yeah. JOSH He crashed into a mountain, Stanley. STANLEY No, I mean, was it 'cause he lost oxygen? Did you have to shoot him down? JOSH This was on the front page of the newspapers. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - THREE WEEKS AGO Josh in his office, looking at photos. STANLEY [VO] Well, it wasn't in the front page of the sports section, so... There is a knock on Josh's door. Leo enters. LEO It's over. JOSH The F-16? LEO Yeah, he went into a mountain north of Mexico City. JOSH Was the pilot alive when it crashed? LEO Yeah. JOSH We know that for sure, or we're just...? LEO There was a radio communication. JOSH From the pilot? LEO Yeah. JOSH What'd he say? LEO He said, "It wasn't the plane." JOSH That's it? LEO Yeah. JOSH Okay. [begins to look through the photos again] LEO [sits] So what do you know? JOSH The same things you know. He's from Tallahassee. He trained at Laughlin on T-37's. LEO'S BODY, STANLEY'S VOICE What else? CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT JOSH Stanley. STANLEY What else did you know? JOSH I didn't know anything. I knew his, I knew his name, I knew his rank, uh, I knew where he trained. I knew his missions. STANLEY What else? JOSH We had the same birthday. STANLEY That's right. And what else? CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - THREE WEEKS AGO JOSH He's got some medals. One of them's a... Purple Heart. LEO For what? JOSH His plane was shot at over Bosnia. It caught fire, he ejected. We hear sounds of gunshots and screaming faintly in the background. JOSH [cont.] And there were some injuries. The sounds continue, with sirens, and slowly fade away as the camera turns back to Stanley. STANLEY That's right, Josh. That's right. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - FIVE DAYS AGO Bagpipes are heard in the White House Lobby. There is a band of traditionally dressed Scottish musicians playing near the Christmas tree. Josh walks by Toby, who is standing next to them. JOSH Toby. TOBY Yeah. JOSH Bagpipes? TOBY Yeah. JOSH You put bagpipes in the lobby? TOBY Not just any bagpipes, Josh. Those guys are the Duncan McTavish Clarney Highland Bagpipe Regiment. They start walking. JOSH They're a bagpipe regiment. TOBY They're three guys from Delaware, but they can play. JOSH Two weeks ago, it was a brass quintet; yesterday, it was the Capital Blue Plate Banjo Band. TOBY Capitol Bluegrass Banjo Brigade and those guys were featured on the local news. JOSH They're pretty loud. TOBY The bagpipes? JOSH Yeah. TOBY That's because the shepherds would need to call in the goats from high atop the hills... JOSH Shepherds herd sheep, they don't do it in Delaware and these guys can't play in the lobby! TOBY They money that people toss in their cases will go to buy band uniforms for the St. Mary's Assumption Marching Red Raiders. JOSH Toby, I'm not kidding. TOBY These guys have a fourteen-song repertoire... JOSH [screaming] I can hear the damn sirens all over the building! [long pause] The... bagpipes. TOBY [stops] Josh? JOSH The... bagpipes. Josh walks away from Toby, who is standing, watching him. JOSH They can't play in the lobby! C.J. walks out a door in front of Toby. C.J. Toby! TOBY [still looks as Josh heads for his office.] Yeah. C.J. Hang on a second. Carol, a few days ago I met with Bernard Thatch of the White House Visitors Office. CAROL [OS] Yes, he didn't like my shoes. C.J. He said the Secret Service took a report from a woman who had some kind of an episode on a tour? TOBY C.J.? C.J. Uh, hang on. I should really glance at that report, could you get it for me? CAROL Yeah. [leaves] C.J. Toby, if I get asked the SPR question... Josh comes out of his office and starts yelling. JOSH Would it be possible to hold the noise down out here?! DONNA [stops in front of him] Do you need something? JOSH I... need the CBO spec. DONNA [OS] It's on your desk. Toby and C.J. are watching, stunned. JOSH It's like a damn hockey game out here. He slams his door shut. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT Stanley and Josh are sitting across from each other by a table. STANLEY Did you know at this point that there were people who were concerned about you? JOSH I don't... I'm not really comfortable with that question. STANLEY I mean concerned with your behavior. JOSH I understand what you meant. STANLEY If you look back to the days following the pilot, do you remember anything unusual about your behavior? JOSH No. STANLEY Why do you think your friends were saying that? JOSH This is incredibly prosecutorial! STANLEY I don't care! JOSH I think if you want to know what my friends were thinking and why they were thinking it, you should talk to my friends. STANLEY I did. JOSH So I gather. STANLEY What was going on on the 19th? JOSH The 19th of this month? STANLEY Five days ago. JOSH Stanley, to say 'what was going on on the 19th...' the number of things that go on here during a day... STANLEY Name some things that went on five days ago. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - FIVE DAYS AGO C.J. is on a couch with a drink in her hand and an old photograph. Josh walks in. JOSH C.J.! C.J.! C.J.! C.J. [preoccupied with the photograph] Yeah. JOSH What are you doing? C.J. Eating lunch. JOSH Why is... C.J. Something's strange about this photograph. JOSH Listen, why is there no more information coming about Robert Cano? C.J. 'Cause there's no new information. JOSH Okay. [turns to leave the office] C.J. There isn't! JOSH [turns around and laughs sarcastically] You accept that? C.J. Yeah! JOSH A perfectly healthy air force pilot kills himself and nobody's asking why? C.J. A lot of people are asking why, we just don't know why except that he obviously wasn't perfectly healthy anymore! JOSH All right. [turns to leave again] C.J. Hang on. [gets up and shows him the picture] Look at this picture. Does something in this picture look familiar? JOSH It's a man holding a little girl. C.J. Look behind the man on the wall. JOSH The painting. C.J. Yeah. JOSH Yeah. C.J. It looks familiar? JOSH It's the same one that's hanging outside the Blue Room. Josh walks out as Donna passes by him. C.J. Are you kidding? JOSH I need information. C.J. I'm going to the Blue Room. DONNA Yo-Yo Ma rules! Josh stops and stares at her with discontent. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT Josh is now pacing the room. JOSH She wouldn't shut up about Yo-Yo Ma. STANLEY You don't like the cello? JOSH I like the cello fine. You asked me what was going on that day and one of the things that was going on was that Donna wouldn't shut up about Yo-Yo Ma. STANLEY Who was playing at the Christmas Party? JOSH Yeah. STANLEY Now, the day of that party you had a meeting at the Oval Office. JOSH Probably. STANLEY No, you did. JOSH Okay. STANLEY You don't remember having a meeting at the Oval Office that day? JOSH It's not unusual for me to meet with the President in the Oval Office five or ten times a day. STANLEY The meeting I'm talking about wasn't usual. JOSH Stanley... STANLEY Come on! You're pissed at Sam, you're pissed at Toby, you're pissed at C.J., you're pissed at Donna. Who's next? CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY A meeting is happening involving the men of the staff. Sam speaks off screen, and all we see is President Bartlet. SAM [OS] Sir, last year New England had 16.3 million barrels of commercial inventory. This year, they have six. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT JOSH Nobody was next. I... I... I don't know what you heard about this meeting, but... It wasn't even my meeting! CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY BARTLET OPEC will find a way to punish us. Leo, Sam and Josh are standing in front of him. SAM The Saudis have announced that they'd welcome the US tapping into the SPR to calm the market. Even the Saudis think that the price is too high. BARTLET If the Saudis are that concerned, why don't they just make the old faster? SAM Well, they're not that concerned. BARTLET I didn't think so. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT Josh has his bandaged hand in front view on the table. JOSH It was Sam's meeting. He wanted the President to get together with his Energy and Economic advisors on the SPR. I was only there for a political perspective. STANLEY What does that mean? JOSH There are only two things that ever stopped the government from doing anything money or politics. STANLEY So, you were there to say it was a bad idea politically? JOSH Yeah. STANLEY Did you think it was? JOSH Yeah. STANLEY Did you say so? JOSH I'm paid to say so! STANLEY What'd you say? JOSH I told him to... [pause and smirks] You're not gonna understand it. STANLEY I'm a fairly well-educated guy. JOSH You need to understand the background. STANLEY Did you raise your voice? JOSH To the President? STANLEY Yeah. JOSH [laughs] No! STANLEY Okay. JOSH You don't raise your voice to the President. STANLEY Okay. JOSH You certainly don't do it in the Oval Office. STANLEY Okay. JOSH There's always lively discussion and the President's informal with his staff, but there's a line you don't cross... Ever. You don't ever cross that line. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY OF THE PARTY BARTLET Let's set up a meeting. SAM Sir, can I say... BARTLET You sold me. We're setting up a meeting. [about to walk out of the office] SAM Excellent! JOSH Can I say I think it's a bad idea? BARTLET [stops and turns to Josh] Why? JOSH It's not something Didion's gonna like. BARTLET Well, I'm just talking about a meeting, but if I decide to do it, the President controls the SPR and not Congress. JOSH Yeah, but Didion controls the IMF vote. BARTLET The two aren't related. LEO Let's move on. JOSH The two are related! BARTLET How? JOSH Through Didion. BARTLET I'm saying the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and forgiving the IMF debt are not related. LEO Anything else? JOSH [ignoring Leo] Of course they're related. LEO Josh. JOSH If Didion doesn't like that we're tapping into the SPR, he won't let the IMF debt out of committee. BARTLET We'll talk to him tonight. JOSH Mr. President... BARTLET At the Christmas party, we'll take him aside... JOSH [raises his voice a bit] No, sir, you can't just take him aside... LEO Josh, we can move on... JOSH [puts his hand in front of Leo's face] We can't move on from it! SAM Josh... JOSH We can't just take him aside! If we tell him we need his help then we give him visibility and power, and we put him in a position to say 'no' and be a hero to his party! Who wouldn't want to do that for a living? BARTLET Josh, Didion's a good guy, we can talk to him. Josh walks very close to the President, waves his hands wildly. JOSH You need to listen to me. You have to listen to me. I can't help you, unless you listen to me! You can't send Christmas cards to everyone, you can't do it! [yelling] Forget the SPR, let's get the IMF loans like we said we were going to, listen to what I have to say about Didion, and please, listen to me! Everyone is looking at each other, lost. Josh's breathing heavily, and for a long moment, his breathing is the only sound heard. SAM Josh. JOSH All right, let's move on. LEO Josh, go wait in my office, would you? JOSH I suppose if it's just a meeting, we... LEO Wait in my office. JOSH Okay. He walks out while the conversation carries on awkwardly. BARTLET We'll talk with Didion tonight? LEO Yeah. BARTLET By the way, it's not intervention in a free market if that's what he's worried about. SAM I agree! BARTLET It's not free trade if the price of oil is being controlled by a cartel. LEO No. BARTLET Sam, you'll be in on this? SAM Yes, sir. BARTLET Thank you. SAM Thank you, Mr. President. Leo and Sam walk out through different doors while the President sits with his hack to the camera. Leo walks into his OFFICE where Josh is standing, and closes the door. LEO Have you ever heard of ATVA? JOSH Leo... LEO I'm here. JOSH I think I should go back in there. LEO It's the American Trauma Victims Association. JOSH Leo... LEO We call them in to treat trauma victims, specifically with... JOSH I know what ATVA is. LEO You're gonna sit with a guy. JOSH Leo... LEO You're gonna sit with a guy. JOSH If this is because of what I just said in there, I wasn't at my best with... LEO Josh, I'm not sure you were fully conscious while you were saying it. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT STANLEY Well, thank god for Leo. JOSH Yeah. STANLEY I'm serious. The man's an alcoholic, he knew what he was talking about. JOSH I'm not sure it was as bad as maybe it was... STANLEY It was. JOSH Stanley, you can ask the questions and you can answer them, but you can't do both at the same time. STANLEY Yes, I can. JOSH Why? STANLEY Because I know the answers, and I don't work for you. JOSH Is there gonna be a... STANLEY How'd you cut your hand? JOSH Stanley... STANLEY Nah, how'd you do it? We see a flashback of Josh in his apartment, sitting on a couch with a glass. JOSH [VO] I put a glass down. Josh breaks the glass in his hand. We cut back to Stanley, rolling up his sleeve. STANLEY Yeah, I don't think you did. JOSH Stanley, I got home from the thing, I made a drink, I sat down, I pushed the magazine aside to use as a coaster, and I missed the coaster. We cut to the flashback again. Josh is looking at his bloody hands. We go back to the meeting room. STANLEY You missed the coaster with quite a bit of force. JOSH I work out when I can. STANLEY I swear I am completely unimpressed with clever answers. JOSH And I was so hoping we'd have a second day. STANLEY [smiles] You're in nine kinds of pain. You don't know what's going on inside of you, and you are so locked into damage control, that you can't... JOSH You diagnosed me in eight hours? STANLEY Josh, I diagnosed you in five minutes. Josh looks at him, shocked. STANLEY Talk about the night of the party. CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY There is knocking on the door, Josh doesn't move from the couch. SUPERINTENDENT [behind the door, off screen] Mr. Lyman? You in there? STANLEY [VO] You said you put down the glass when you came home from a party that night. JOSH Yeah. The Congressional Christmas party. More knocking. SUPERINTENDENT Mr. Lyman? CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT JOSH The Congressional Christmas party was white-tie, which is unusual, but the President likes it... FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. THE PRESIDENT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Charlie is standing in the center of the room, wearing a frock, looking uncomfortable. Bartlet enters. BARTLET You look good, Charlie. CHARLIE I didn't know people dressed like this anymore, sir. BARTLET I've brought it back. CHARLIE Yes, sir. BARTLET Like Woodrow Wilson and top hats. CHARLIE We're not gonna wear top hats with this are we, sir? BARTLET No. Thank you. A man helps him on with coat as he and Charlie leave the room. MAN Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Charlie, this is how Statesmen dress. This is how they dress in times of occasion. CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET It's regal. CHARLIE Yes sir. AGENT Eagle's moving. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT C.J. enters her office, where Bernard and two people are waiting for her there. C.J. Hello. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. BERNARD C.J., this is Rebecca Haussmann and her son, David. C.J. I'm C.J. Cregg, David. We spoke on the phone. DAVID Yes. C.J. Mrs. Haussmann, I'm C.J. Cregg. I'm the White House Press Secretary. [to David] Does she understand me? DAVID A little. C.J. This is your painting. Your father was Augie Haussmann? MRS. HAUSSMANN Yes. DAVID He was an art collector, mostly of minor impressionists that nobody really cared that much about. He was a French Jew. C.J. And the Vichy Laws stripped him of his property? DAVID [nods] Yeah. C.J. Well, best as we can tell, the Nazis sold the painting to a Swiss dealer sometime after your grandfather perished at Auschwitz. It made its way to the Musee d'Orsee, and then to the National Gallery, where the President spotted it. We've contacted the French... BERNARD [interrupting] Who probably surrendered. C.J. ...who wanted to settle this matter amicably. Mrs. Haussmann nods. C.J. We'd like you to have our sincere apology, as well as, of course, the painting back. MRS. HAUSSMANN Thank you. Bernard hands David the wrapped picture. DAVID Well, you've made an old woman and her son very happy. BERNARD David, do you happen to know what your grandfather paid for it originally? DAVID Well, it would have been about the equivalent of $300 U.S. BERNARD Yes, that's about right. Would you explain to your mother that I had the painting appraised, and it's worth about $400,000 now. You should also tell her that, if she likes, we'd be honored to continue hanging the painting, and the longer we do, the higher it will appreciate. MRS. HAUSSMANN [looks at David] No. C.J. Officers McDaniel and Smith from the Park Police are gonna escort you home. MRS. HAUSSMANN Thank you very much. DAVID Thank you. C.J. and Bernard watch them leave, then leave themselves. They walk down the HALLWAY. C.J. You see, you try very hard to be mean, but then you see that being nice is better. BERNARD You're a freakish little woman. They part. C.J. So that moment's over? BERNARD Yes. Josh walks by. C.J. Oh, Josh! Sam said the Didion meeting went well. JOSH Yeah, we'll support a LIEHEAP subsidy for air-conditioning in the Texas 23rd. C.J. Josh, it's Christmas. JOSH Yeah. C.J. We're starting in five minutes. JOSH Yeah. C.J. leaves, Josh stands there. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT JOSH What was the diagnosis? STANLEY I'm sorry? JOSH You said you diagnosed me in five minutes. What was the diagnosis? STANLEY You have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. JOSH Well, that doesn't really sound like something they let you have if you work for the President. Can we have it be something else? Seriously, I-I think you might be wrong about that. I-I'm not tryin' to be difficult. STANLEY I don't think you are. JOSH I know that I-I'm givin' you cocky answers, I that should be... STANLEY Listen... JOSH I know that you want me to talk about my feelings. STANLEY No I don't, Josh. The last thing I want you to do is talk about your feelings. I think if you heard a tape recording of this day, you wouldn't hear the word 'feelings.' What we need to be able to get you to do is to remember the shooting without reliving it. And you have been reliving it. We hear Bartlet's speech introducing Yo-Yo Ma. BARTLET [VO] We have polling that indicates that if Johann Sebastian Bach were alive today, he would have voted for me. The crowd laughs. STANLEY Right? It happened during the Christmas party? JOSH I'm not tryin' to give cocky answers... STANLEY I am the guy you tell, Josh! It happened at the Christmas party. We hear Bartlet again. BARTLET [VO] The Bach Suite in G Major. Please help me in welcoming Yo-Yo Ma. The crowd applauds. STANLEY Josh? JOSH I was fine. STANLEY Josh? JOSH It was the Bach G Major. We hear music playing. We flash to see scenes of the Christmas party. STANLEY It's a nice piece. JOSH It is. STANLEY Did he play it well? JOSH It's Yo-Yo Ma. STANLEY I've never heard him in person. JOSH He's really-he's really quite something, We see flashes of the White House Senior Staff listening to Yo-Yo Ma. STANLEY [VO] How did it start? We cut back to the therapy. JOSH I don't know. STANLEY Yes, you do. JOSH I was just sitting there. We cut back to the party. STANLEY And then what happened? JOSH I don't know! We suddenly hear a gunshot. STANLEY Are you in the fourth grade? JOSH I don't know how it started! KAYTHA You tasted something bitter in your mouth. Josh has a flashback to the shooting. KAYTHA [cont.] It was the adrenaline. The bitter taste was the adrenaline. STANLEY What happened then? We see Josh at the party. He's hearing scream and shots. JOSH I couldn't make it stop. At the party, Josh winces as if in pain. He has a flashback to the shooting and feels as though he is being shot. He remembers the doctors and the ambulance. JOSH I couldn't make it stop. STANLEY No you couldn't, Josh, but you've been trying for weeks and that's why you feel sick inside. We cut back to the party. STANLEY And what happened when you went home that night? CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY Josh is looking at his bloody hand. SUPERINTENDENT Mr. Lyman? Are you in there? CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT STANLEY You had an episode at the party, that afternoon you had blown up in the Oval Office. What happened when you went home that night? JOSH Honestly nothing! STANLEY Okay. He gets up and moves closer to Josh. JOSH I sat down on the couch... STANLEY Can you honestly tell me... JOSH [in his head, he sees the action.] I-I pushed the magazine aside as a coaster... STANLEY ...that when the Pilot committed suicide... Can you honestly tell me that you didn't wonder if you were suicidal too? Josh has been hearing the Bach Suite in his head-stops and sees himself with a bloody hand. JOSH I didn't wonder that. STANLEY You're lying. JOSH I didn't wonder that. STANLEY Everything that the two of you had in common... JOSH We had nothing in common! STANLEY You know you had the same birthday... JOSH Who gives a damn if we had the same birthday? STANLEY But you knew something else. JOSH Stanley... STANLEY You knew he has been shot down once, that his plane had caught on fire, that he had ejected, and that there were some injuries. JOSH [yelling] Stanley! I made myself a drink, I pushed aside a magazine to use as a coaster. STANLEY [yelling] Josh! Josh. How did you cut your hand? CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT OF THE PARTY Josh is at his apartment having flashbacks. He can't take it anymore and puts his hand through the window. SUPERINTENDENT [knocking on door] Mr. Lyman? It's your Super. [knocks] Mr. Lyman, are you okay in there? Josh looks at his hand. SUPERINTENDENT Mr. Lyman! The piece ends. We hear applause. CUT TO: INT. MEETING ROOM - PRESENT STANLEY Okay then. JOSH Okay then? STANLEY [nods] That's that. JOSH I'm cured? STANLEY [humoring him] Yeah, Josh. You're cured. No problem. JOSH Stanley... STANLEY I'm gonna recommend a therapist you'll like. JOSH I like you! STANLEY You're to easy a case for me. JOSH I broke a window! STANLEY Yeah. Stop doing that. I want to commend you on not hurting anybody else and not hurting yourself too badly, but nevertheless, stop doing that. [gets up from the chair] JOSH And... that'll do the trick? STANLEY Yup. Kaytha gets up. JOSH I-I'm gettin' short-changed here. STANLEY Merry Christmas, Josh! We're done. [puts papers in briefcase] I'll call your office after the holidays and give you a number. KAYTHA It was nice meeting you. JOSH Hang on! What happens if tomorrow some pilot with my birthday decides to kill himself? STANLEY No, that wasn't what started it. JOSH What started it? STANLEY You were already cooking for a few hours before the pilot. JOSH I was? STANLEY Usually with a gunshot victim it's a car backfiring, or a twig snapping, but that's not what it was with you. JOSH What was it? STANLEY [turns to Kaytha] Kaytha? KAYTHA The music. STANLEY The brass quintet. JOSH Why would the music have started it? STANLEY Well, I know it's gonna sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of potatoes, but at this moment, in your head, music is the same thing as... JOSH ...as sirens. STANLEY [nods] Yeah. [puts on his coat] JOSH So that's gonna be my reaction every time I hear music? STANLEY No. JOSH Why not? STANLEY Because we get better. [starts to leave] JOSH All the same, I need some more therapy! STANLEY Oh, you're gonna get some! JOSH I mean now! [gets up] STANLEY Merry Christmas, Josh! JOSH We can order a pizza! STANLEY [laughs] Have a good night! Stanley leaves with Kaytha. Josh follows him out of the room and calls. JOSH Stanley, I haven't told you my dreams yet! STANLEY [OS] Fax 'em over to me! JOSH Merry Christmas. Josh leaves the room as well. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBY - NIGHT Leo is sitting in a chair reading. Josh enters and doesn't notice Leo. LEO How'd it go? JOSH [turns] Did you wait around for me? Leo takes off his glasses. JOSH He thinks I may have an eating disorder. LEO [gets up] Josh. JOSH And a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it? [pause] I didn't cut my hand on a glass. I broke a window in my apartment. LEO This guy's walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep. He can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey you! Can you help me out?" The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole! Our guy says "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!" and the friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." Josh looks at him. LEO [cont.] As long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand? [gestures to Josh's hand] You wrapped that yourself, right? JOSH [raises eyebrows] The bandage? LEO Yeah. JOSH Yeah. LEO Okay. Donna's gonna take you to the emergency room. JOSH She knows? LEO She was the one who guessed. JOSH I don't need the emergency room. LEO Come on, it could be infected, you could have a thing. JOSH What thing? Donna enters with Josh's coat. LEO How the hell do I know? JOSH Leo... DONNA Let's go. She helps Josh on with his coat. JOSH See you later. LEO Okay. Josh and Donna leave. Leo stands for a minute then leaves. Carolers can be heard singing "Carol of the Bells." CUT TO: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE GATES - NIGHT Carolers are singing outside. Josh and Donna come through the gates. JOSH I don't need a doctor. DONNA Are you a doctor? JOSH No. DONNA Then be quiet. Josh and Donna stop in front of the carolers. Josh listens with a distant look on his face. Donna looks at him. DONNA Josh? JOSH Yeah. DONNA Let's go. JOSH Okay. Donna leads him away. The carolers continue singing, while sirens can be heard. As the carolers end their song, we -- DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 2.10 -- 'Noel' Original Airdate: December 20, 2000, 9:00 PM EST Transcript By: Giorgio, BumbleLion, Joshsgirl, Irene and LocalGomer8