The President’s (Martin Sheen) and First Lady’s (Stockard Channing) staffs feud over rival agendas when her public statements about foreign child-labor abuse inspires a Congresswoman Becky Reeseman (Amy Aquino) to attach an amendment that will surely torpedo a long-delayed international tariff bill favored by the President. What’s more, when the revered chairman of the Federal Reserve dies, the President is under pressure to name the former head’s top lieutenant as his successor — the same man who seriously dated the First Lady in college. Away from the White House, Zoey (Elisabeth Moss) clashes with her boyfriend Charlie (Dul� Hill) when she suggests that they not step out together at an upcoming club opening at the request of the Secret Service which is concerned about recent hate letters concerning their interracial relationship. Josh (Bradley Whitford) asks opinionated Toby (Richard Schiff) to mind his manners prior to parleying with important Congressmen.
THE WEST WING "THE WHITE HOUSE PRO-AM" WRITTEN BY: LAWRENCE O'DONNELL JR. & PAUL REDFORD and AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: KEN OLIN TEASER FADE IN: INT. MURAL ROOM - DAY Abbey sits in front of cameras with JEFFREY MORGAN. Several members of her staff and Jeffrey's parents sit behind the camera. Production staff adjust lights and apply makeup. ABBEY I don't want you to be nervous. JEFFREY Okay. ABBEY If you're nervous I'll detect it and mock you mercilessly on national television. JEFFREY Okay. ABBEY Sure, some people think it's cool for the First Lady to mock a 14 year old boy who's only crime is getting nervous, talking on television in front of millions and millions of people, but hey, I'm gonna do it anyway. JEFFREY [nods] Okay, I understand. ABBEY Jeffery... JEFFREY Yes, Ma'am? ABBEY I was kidding. [Jeffrey laughs.] Now, if you do get nervous, just look at me or look at your parents. JEFFREY Okay. ABBEY But you're not gonna get nervous, are you? JEFFREY [shakes head] Nope. ABBEY [smiles] If you do I'll beat your brains out. JEFFREY [smiles] Yes, Ma'am. ABBEY [smiles] Not me personally 'cause I have people who do that for me. But you get the idea. DIRECTOR Mrs. Bartlet, ten seconds. ABBEY [loudly] Lilly, should have worn gray today! LILLY You're good. Abbey shakes off tension and faces the camera. HOST [on TV] Twenty-five minutes past the hour and 42 degrees outside our Rockefeller Center studios. Abigail Bartlet is no stranger to the fight for children's health around the world. And she's taken the time to speak with us this morning. Good morning, Mrs. Bartlet. ABBEY Good Morning, Melissa. HOST [on TV] You're speaking to us from the Mural Room, is that right? ABBEY That's right. [looks at Jeffery] And I'm here to introduce this young man on my left, Jeffery Morgan. Jeffery helped opened my eyes to the issue of child labor exploitation around the world. Abbey's chief of staff, LILLY MAYS, watches for a moment and walks out to the HALLWAY. HOST [on TV] Now Jeffery, you started your organization because of pen pal you felt was in trouble. CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATION'S BULLPEN - DAY Sam stands watching the program on a monitor. Lilly walks up to him. JEFFREY [on TV] Yes, and I thought that... SAM [confused] When did Jeffery happen? LILLY Sam... SAM Lilly, when did Jeffery happen? LILLY I dug it up for her yesterday. You're gonna love him. SAM Let's find out. They watch the monitor. HOST [on TV] Your organization, the Kids Crusade... JEFFREY [on TV] The Children's Crusade. HOST [ON TV] The Children...I'm sorry. The Children's Crusade was created when your pen pal was sold into slavery, is that right? JEFFREY [on TV] Well, that's not they call it in India, but that's what it is. You see, Panshant's mother borrowed $25. And Panshant had to go to work to pay back the loan. LILLY He's good. SAM Yeah. ABBEY [on TV] She borrowed the money from what we would call a loan shark, Melissa. Then Panshant was bonded to work for the loan shark. But he never paid back the loan because he... SAM looks at a newspaper. LILLY And here's my thing. SAM What? LILLY What would you guys think about the President not going to the Hill to the Budget Meeting but bringing the leadership to the White House instead? SAM Why? LILLY We want the news cycle. SAM [looks up from the paper] Lilly? LILLY She's got the National Press Club tomorrow. It's her first major speech since Commencement Season. It's child labor and we want the news cycle. SAM [reads the paper] News cycle doesn't belong to us, Lilly. It's not ours to give away. LILLY You know what I'm talking about. SAM We want to show that the President is reaching out to Congress for a Budget compromise. He's literally going to Congress. LILLY He's being driven 6 blocks in a stretch limo, Sam. It's not like he's Henry Clay. SAM It's a symbol. LILLY Your guy steps out of a motorcade and it's three column inches above the fold. My guy is page 23. SAM Your guy's married to our guy and our guy won an election. That's something you people are gonna have to get used to. LILLY Your guy has a 48% approval rating. My guy's at 61. And bite me. SAM Ah, point well argued. [goes back to reading the paper] HOST [on TV] Mrs. Bartlet, does the company know its subcontractors are using child labor? ABBEY [on TV] Melissa, if they don't then they're criminally negligent. If they do then they're simply criminal. LILLY [pointing at the TV] There it is! SAM That was a pretty good pitch to inning. LILLY Come on Sam, see Toby. Give us some room to run! SAM Lilly... TOBY [walks out of his office] Change the channel. LILLY Toby... TOBY [to Lilly] Hi. [to Sam] Change to Channel 5. SAM What happened? TOBY Bernie Dahl died. Toby walks back in his office. They stare at him for a moment. ABBEY [on TV] Eighty hours a week in darkness and violence.... Sam grabs the remote and changes channels. REPORTER [on TV] ...suffering what is being described as a massive heart attack was pronounced dead upon arrival at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. Mr. Dahl, widely respected on Wall Street as the chief architect of the longest peacetime economic expansion in history, was in a fourth year of his second four year term as Chairman of the Federal Reserve. SAM You just lost your news cycle. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet sits with two Intelligence advisors. BARTLET [reading] Is here going to be a coup? ADVISOR Excuse me, sir? BARTLET Is there going to be a coup? MILITARY ADVISOR Uh, no sir. We believe the new few weeks the Abida Kahn will appoint their successors from diverse regions and groups, including the Ebo from the East. Leo wanders in and stands in the doorway. ADVISOR They've been complainting of under representation. BARTLET And this is on page.... ADVISOR 17... In your classified book. BARTLET Page 17. They page through. LEO Excuse me... Mr. President. BARTLET Yeah? [looks up] Oh. [to advisors] Excuse me, please. [gets up and walks over to Leo] Leo... Intelligence briefing. LEO I know. BARTLET There are mornings I'm just nodding my head. That can't be good for anybody. LEO Bernie Dahl had a heart attack. BARTLET No! LEO Yeah. He died about an hour ago... BARTLET [shocked] He died?!? LEO ...on the way to the hospital. Bad timing. BARTLET I'll say. Who knows so far? LEO We got it off the news. BARTLET Dammit. LEO Yeah. BARTLET [looks at his watch] The market is going to open 200 points down. LEO If we're lucky. BARTLET When was the last time we were lucky? LEO Super Tuesday. BARTLET It's going to be 300...350. LEO Announce Ron Ehrlich. BARTLET Not yet. LEO Announce Ron Ehrlich as Dahl's successor. BARTLET Not... yet. LEO You do it this morning when trading opens everyone calms down. BARTLET I'm not saying I'm not sure it's Ehrlich. LEO Sir... BARTLET I'm saying I'm not sure. It's the Fed Chairman. Give me a day. LEO It's gonna be an expensive day. BARTLET How expensive. LEO You say 300 points. It could be more. BARTLET Wall Street needs to trust me. LEO Should I go tell them that? BARTLET A day. I'll tell you something else. You could have been nicer to me during this conversation. LEO How? BARTLET By saying that Wall Street does trust me and the market will hold until I appoint a new Fed Chairman. LEO Sure. Just give me a minute to call my broker and dump my portfolio. BARTLET I'm taking the day. LEO I'm going to leak it, sir, on account in the next hour people will calm things down. BARTLET No. LEO Mr. President! BARTLET I'm not ready to jump into bed with Ron Ehrlich yet. I'm one of the few people in my family who can say that. LEO Yes, sir. The advisors stand as Bartlet walks back over to them. BARTLET So... [sits] That's was page 17? The advisors sit. ADVISOR Yes, sir. The Leader of the National Assembly... CUT TO: EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Josh leans back in his chair, phone to his ear. Donna walks in. DONNA So, I've been reading this book. JOSH I'm...on the phone. DONNA You're on hold! JOSH How do you know? DONNA The light was blinking. JOSH [glares at the blinking light] What book? DONNA It's about what life was like 100 years ago. JOSH Donna, the fact that I'm on hold right now this shouldn't be your cue to tell me what like was like 100 years ago. DONNA For instance... [Josh sighs.] A hundred years ago most women bathed once a month and they used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. JOSH [into phone] [sits up quickly] I'm here. [turns his head away from Donna] DONNA Florence and Bertha were among the top ten names given girls. JOSH [into phone] I'm meeting with them in 5mintues. Toby's gonna be fine. DONNA Today they don't make the top ten thousand. JOSH [into phone] Excuse me. [to Donna] What?? [holds the phone against his forehead] DONNA Florence and Bertha aren't among the top ten thousands names today yet only a .... JOSH I'm actually back on the phone now. DONNA I'll wait. [sits on the arm of a chair] JOSH [into phone] Toby's gonna be fine. Don't worry about it. [hangs up and puts on his suit coat] Toby's in his office? DONNA Yeah. Population of Las Vegas, Nevada... [Josh stares at her.] ...was 22. JOSH I'm gonna go to my meeting now. But you sit here and keeping talking. It'll be like I never left. [grabs papers and walks around his desk] DONNA Here. [stands up and hands him a folder] JOSH Thank you. Josh walks out with Donna in pursuit. They wander through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. DONNA And you know what else? JOSH What? DONNA Drive-by shootings were a problem in Denver. JOSH 100 years ago? DONNA Yeah! JOSH What were they driving? DONNA I'm glad you asked. JOSH Horses! DONNA Young boys on horseback riding through town shooting at, I suppose...stagecoaches and whatnot. JOSH [drops off mail] When do you have time to read these books?!? DONNA It's important to make time just for yourself, Josh. JOSH I notice you're able to do it right here at the office. DONNA I'm adaptable. JOSH Among other things. Donna smiles as Josh walks off. CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY Sam paces outside Toby's door. Toby sits inside writing on a pad and munching antacids. TOBY Sam? SAM Yeah? [walks in] TOBY C.J. gonna need a reason why the President's waiting a day that doesn't sound like we're reconsidering Ehrlich. SAM I just gave her one. TOBY What? SAM Respect. TOBY [sighs] The man just died... out of respect for his memory... his family... SAM It would be wrong to name a successor on the day he... TOBY Respect works. SAM [sighs] Tell you this though, I'm going to the gym today. [paces] TOBY Okay that didn't seem to be about anything that interests me. SAM I'm just saying. Bernie Dahl has a heart attack, BAM!.... right out of nowhere. TOBY It's his fifth heart attack Sam. He was 138 years old. [munches antacids] SAM Yeah but these are highly stressful jobs. I haven't been to the gym in three weeks. TOBY Sam, look at yourself. How much healthier do you want to be? SAM I'm just saying if anybody need me at lunch I'm gonna be at the gym. And that's gonna be sad for me because I'm gonna live longer than you. TOBY Don't count on it. Sam leaves. Josh runs up. SAM [gloomy] Hey. JOSH Hey. [steps in] Toby.... TOBY We are waiting a day to make our announcement out of respect, Josh. JOSH For whom? TOBY The dead. JOSH Oh. TOBY And how I wish I were one of them. JOSH Now...You're gonna love this meeting! TOBY Betcha I'm not. JOSH Toby.... TOBY It's locked down. JOSH I know that! TOBY [loudly] It's locked down with some 15 votes to spare. JOSH There is value for having these three Congressmen on board. TOBY What is it? JOSH A... A clear and public demonstration that the President's liberal base hasn't turned their backs. Toby gets up and walks behind his desk. TOBY [smiles] In the case of these three people, I'd like to see a clear and public demonstration that they've turned their backs and run as far as humanly possible. JOSH I think you think it's beneath you to ask. TOBY [yelling] It is beneath me to ask. It's sown up! By 15. [Josh looks around nervously.] [yelling] We've got the trade bill. It's sewn up! And it's as bipartisan as we're likely to see. There was a victory and we're the victors. And I'm not going in there hat in my hands. JOSH No one's asking you too. TOBY [yelling] You're asking me too! Josh walks in and closes the door. JOSH No, we're gonna do good cop, bad cop. TOBY No...we're really not. JOSH Why not? TOBY Cause this isn't an episode of Hawaii 5-0. How about you be the good cop, I'll be the cop who didn't go to the meeting. JOSH You have to go to the meeting. I told them you would be at the meeting. If you're not there they're gonna start right out insulted. Josh heads to the door and opens it for Toby. TOBY I go to this meeting there's a decent chance we end this meeting with them insulted. So... [grabs the antacids] JOSH Let's go. Josh opens the door for Toby. They exit into the COMUNICATION'S OFFICE. TOBY I need to exercise more. JOSH Toby... TOBY I gotta exercise more. I gotta eat better. Toby munches antacids. They pause in the doorway. JOSH Toby, you're gonna sit in that room and you're gonna behave yourself. I swear to God, you are gonna sit there while I court these peoples votes and every so often you're gonna smile so as to indicate warmth. TOBY I can still kick the crap outta you, though. We're clear on that, right? JOSH Yeah. TOBY Then what the heck are we waiting for? Josh eyes Toby warily. Toby munches the antacids. JOSH Toby... TOBY I'll be nice. JOSH The President's very serious about this. TOBY He shouldn't be. JOSH So you've told him many times but here these people are. So, I guess the President disagrees with you... Given that... TOBY I understand. Let's go. JOSH sticks out his chin and glares at Toby. They exit into the HALLWAY. JOSH So you're just gonna sit there. TOBY Yeah. JOSH If you open your mouth it will be to say something nice. TOBY Yes. Josh looks doubtful. JOSH Come on. Josh pauses at the door and eyes Toby before they enter THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. TOBY [whispers] It's sewn up, Josh. JOSH [whispers] Whatever. TOBY [whispers] By 15 votes. JOSH Morning. CONGRESSMAN 1 Morning. JOSH How are you? Josh walks over and shakes the hands of the Congressmen. CONGRESSMAN 1 Good. JOSH Nice to see you. Thanks for coming. CONGRESSMAN 2 Josh, how are you? Toby sits sullenly at the table, munching antacids. JOSH How you been? CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM - DAY C.J. is at the podium. C.J. He is shocked and saddened by the death of his colleague. For over 11 years Bernard Dahl oversaw the largest economic expansion in the country's history and I can assure you he will be.... REPORTERS [shouting] C.J.! C.J.! C.J. ...missed. [sighs] Katie? KATIE Is Ron Ehrlich the new Fed Chair? C.J. There are a number of very good candidates. CHRIS Who's on the short list? C.J. I want to be clear, no such list exists. Obviously from his post as the number two man at the Federal Reserve, Ron Ehrlich is a candidate. STEVE Sidney Bloom? C.J. Sidney Bloom is a candidate. STEVE Lawrence Ottenberg? C.J. Mr. Ottenberg is a candidate. DANNY C.J., Mrs. Bartlet's declared a preference for Ron Ehrlich. To what extent do you think that's going to weigh in on the President's decision? C.J. [looks caught off-guard] I'm aware of no such declaration. DANNY It's in a wire piece. 'Unnamed people close the First Lady' are saying she hoped the President would appoint Ron Ehrlich when Bernie Dahl's term expired. C.J. I don't know who the unnamed people are. But I suppose it's possible on a social occasion... DANNY OK. KATIE C.J., when's the President going to name the new Chairman? C.J. We're hoping to have it done tomorrow. CHRIS Why the delay? C.J. [solemnly] Respect. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY C.J. and Carol exit the Briefing Room. C.J. Get me a copy of the wire report? CAROL On your desk. C.J. Could I have sounded any stupider saying respect? CAROL You were fine! Sam approaches from the other direction with his gym bag. C.J. Sam. SAM Yeah? C.J. I need you. SAM I'm going to the gym. C.J. turns and walks back with him. C.J. I got a question about Mrs. Bartlet stating her preference for Ron Ehrlich. They stop walking in the lobby doorway. SAM Publically? C.J. It's in a wire piece that's on my desk. Ginger walks by. SAM Ginger! [throws his gym bag to her] GINGER Back to your office? SAM Yep! Ginger walks off with the bag. C.J. Thank you! C.J. pats him on the arm. They head off in different directions. CUT TO: INT. LILLY'S OFFICE - DAY Lilly is on the phone. A staffer sits across the desk. LILLY [into phone] She was fantastic this morning and I can promise you that was just the opening salvo. First Lady is gonna lead the charge against Child Labor. [whispers to staffer] There's some index cards on Patty's desk . I need them for the ride over. The staffer gets up and leaves as Sam enters. SAM Hi. STAFFER Hi. LILLY [into phone] Yeah, she'll do Larry King tonight then go to St Louis. Yeah, call me back later and I'll give you 10 minutes. [hangs up.] Did you see the rest of the interview? She stands and shuffles through papers. SAM I didn't. LILLY Jeffery and his classmates raised enough money for Panshant and everyone in their village to get out of debt. SAM Well that solves that, then. LILLY Abbey's running with the ball, Sam. SAM And I just want to make sure we're the ones calling the plays in the huddle, Lilly. LILLY What's the problem? SAM C.J. got a question regarding the First Lady's preference for Ron Ehrlich. LILLY Her preference is fairly well known, Sam. I don't think... SAM This time it was in a wire piece...'Sources close to Mrs. Bartlet'. LILLY I don't know anything about it. SAM It wasn't you... LILLY I just said I didn't know anything about it. SAM Okay, we'll let you know when we want something leaked. You know that, right? LILLY [angry] Sam, I standing here telling you and I'm telling you that I don't know anything about it. And if C.J. wants to come up here and call me a liar... SAM C.J. didn't come up here, I did. No one's calling you a liar. Lilly puts down the papers and buttons her suitcoat. LILLY We've gotta find a way for our two staffs to work together better than this. SAM No we don't. We need to find a way for your staff to work better with our staff. LILLY Well, that's the spirit, Sam. SAM Look, I'm... LILLY [coldly] I'm late for a speech. [walks out angrily] SAM Lilly? The Staffer rushes back in and looks through some folders on a table. SAM [quietly] That was a nice bit of diplomacy I... just did there. [The staffer looks at him.] That's good. [to staffer] I'm going to the gym now. STAFFER Okay! [leaves] SAM Okay. Sam shakes his head and walks out, hands on pockets. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY CUT TO: INT. OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Bartlet stands behind his desk talking to Leo. C.J. stares at them. BARTLET Without regard to the validity of past arguments. LEO That the National Debt was so high it required us to suck up to the bond market. BARTLET Yes and I'm saying that condition doesn't exist anymore. LEO Well, maybe so. BARTLET Historically, American prosperity has been built the broad growth in the GDP of 5% of greater. And now with the deflationary pressures of the Global Economy, that kind of growth can be achieved without the negative side affects of rampant inflation. [to C.J.] Do you understand what I'm saying? C.J. starts to open her mouth. LEO C.J. doesn't understand a word you're saying. C.J. I understand the [something French]. I get the basic [more French] of what you're saying. [Leo and Bartlet smile at each other.] I really don't understand anything. BARTLET My point is Ron Ehrlich might not be the guy. I'm saying it's not a mortal lock. C.J. So let me suggest, Mr. President, that I talk to the First Lady and ask her to clarify... BARTLET [shakes head] No... C.J. ...that her position... BARTLET No, no... C.J. "My husband will choose the best man for the Fed...." BARTLET [shakes head] Noooo... C.J. ..." I support whatever..." Sir! BARTLET C.J., we don't handle my wife. When we try, do you know what happens at the other end of this building? [smiles] C.J. You get a little punishment. BARTLET I get a little punishment. Screw it. Let's move on. It's not a big deal. [walks behind his desk] C.J. Yes, sir. Leo looks at C.J. BARTLET [to C.J.] But try to find out who those friends of my wife's are in the wire piece and take them out back and have them shot. [to Leo] Can I do that? LEO Yeah. BARTLET Yeah, Leo says I can do that. It's gonna be Phyllis who has never liked me. It's gonna be Susan who thinks I'm xenophobic because I don't like Mexican food. These are my wife's friends. MRS. LANDINGHAM [walks in] Mr. President... BARTLET Yes. [to Leo and C.J.] It could be our old next-door neighbors Herb and Marjorie Douglas. [Mrs. Landingham frowns at him.] They're still angry at me 'cause I accidentally ran them over with my car. MRS. LANDINGHAM Zoey's here. BARTLET Thank you, Mrs. Landingham. Mrs. Landingham leaves the door open as she exits. C.J. Anything else? BARTLET No. C.J. Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you, C.J. C.J. leaves. BARTLET I'll tell you what else; historically 2 to 2 Ohm GDP expansion is classified lack luster even anemic economic growth. [walks towards the open door] Four Ohm to 5% is needed just to be considered robust and not even spectacular. LEO [confused] You know, sometimes I don't know what you're talking about. BARTLET Sometimes I'm just making it up. Zoey steps in. BARTLET Hello, sweetheart. ZOEY Dad. BARTLET [kisses Zoey on the cheek.] You used to go to school in overalls with a little hat. [closes the door] ZOEY Yes, I used to be five. LEO What's up, Zoey? ZOEY Just keeping it real. LEO [confused] Hmm? BARTLET Who the hell knows? [gives her a hug] LEO Anything else? BARTLET No. LEO Thank you, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you, Leo. Leo walks out to his office. BARTLET What you got today? ZOEY I got Intro to Cinema and 19th Century Studies. BARTLET How about math. Why aren't you taking math? ZOEY Cause I graduated High School. Zoey and Bartlet sit on the couch. BARTLET Wiseass all you want, but you're coming of age in the 21st century. A century in which I promise you mathematics is going to play a starring role. On the other hand I would definitely put my shoulder into Intro to Cinema. Intro to Cinema's what got me where I am today. ZOEY Did you call me over to make fun of me? BARTLET That was going to be a big part of my day. [gives her the books back] ZOEY Dad... BARTLET I met with Butterfield and some Secret Service Agents this morning. ZOEY What did I do? BARTLET You didn't do anything. They think you should be taking more math. ZOEY [laughs] Dad... BARTLET It's time for me to tell you about some letters we've been getting. ZOEY [worried] Threats? BARTLET [frowns] Yeah. They don't like that the daughter of the President is dating a young black man. ZOEY Charlie? BARTLET Zoey, please don't tell me you're dating more than one guy. ZOEY [concerned] No. BARTLET Ok. ZOEY What is... BARTLET Cause one guy for you is actually one more than I'm comfortable with. ZOEY So you've said. BARTLET I could see it's had a real impact on you. ZOEY How bad are the letters? BARTLET No worse than any of the stuff they intercept. ZOEY Except these are from White Supremists? BARTLET Yeah. Why did Butterfield and the guys meet with me? Apparently there's National Convention of some sort in Virginia. It was in the papers yesterday that you and Charlie are going to some club opening this weekend. ZOEY You want me to cancel? BARTLET You don't have to cancel, but you can't bring Charlie. ZOEY [frowns] Okay. BARTLET You want me to tell him? ZOEY [looks down] We're meeting for lunch. I'll tell him. BARTLET You gotta tell him he truth Zoey. Don't make something up. ZOEY [laughs] He's not gonna like it. BARTLET You sure you don't want me to come? ZOEY Yeah. Mrs. Landingham knocks and enters. BARTLET Okay. MRS. LANDINGHAM Mr. President... BARTLET Yeah? MRS. LANDINGHAM The Assistant Secretary of Treasury. BARTLET Okay. [to Zoey] You gotta go. Zoey and Bartlet rise. ZOEY Hey, I'm sorry about Bernie Dahl. BARTLET I never really new him that well. They walk to the door. ZOEY Is Ron Ehrlich gonna be the new Fed Chair? BARTLET I don't know. You want the job? ZOEY Yeah. BARTLET Can't have it. Know why? ZOEY Why? BARTLET Not enough math. Bye. He kisses her on the cheek and she leaves. CUT TO: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Josh and Toby sits across the table from the congressmen and their aides. Toby slowly dunks a teabag and looks bored. CONGRESSMAN Josh, we're Democrats. Since when do we like lower taxes? JOSH We don't. We like lower tariffs. Lower tariffs on everything from Indian textiles, to German cars to Chilean wines negotiated by our trade reps in Geneva with 130 other countries over the past 7 years. Global Free Trade Markets Access Act now has cleared the President and we're very proud it's finally ready to be voted on by the House. TOBY [stares at the teabag] Where it will win by the way by some 15 votes. JOSH [patiently] Thank you, Toby. TOBY Anyone eating that donut? JOSH [pause, to Toby] All yours. [To the Congressmen] Now, what happens when you lower the cost of something, Economists of every stripe, including the one in the Oval Office, say you that you get a more efficient allotment of economic resources. Now that may not sound like much to you and me but to an Economist that's a week in St. Barts. CONGRESSWOMAN Josh, there's no reason to talk to us like were 12. CONGRESSMAN 1 Josh, we're very concerned about the effect cheaper goods flowing into this country will have on American Labor and American Manufacturing. We're concerned about the lack of environmental controls. CONGRESSMAN 2 Concerns which are entirely reasonable. TOBY You're concerned about American labor and manufacturing? CONGRESSMAN 1 Yeah. TOBY What kind of car do you drive? CONGRESSMAN 1 Toyota. TOBY Then shut up. Josh frowns and covers his face. The congressmen stare in shock at Toby. CONGRESSMAN 1 Excuse me? Josh rubs his eyes. Toby calmly drinks his tea. JOSH What Toby meant to say is we don't get to see you guys often...[smiles] and it's a crying shame. C.J. knocks on the window. Josh looks over his shoulder at her. He turns back to the Congressmen. JOSH [smiles] Hey everybody, sit tight. We're just getting started. [gets up and heads for the door] Uh, think about what you'd like to eat for lunch. TOBY [slowly gets up, smiles] Also think about that we won and we're here still courting your vote for reasons passing understanding. Josh walks back and takes him by the arm. JOSH Get out here. They exit into the HALLWAY. C.J. waits as Josh backs out the door. Toby follows. JOSH This... right here. This is why you have a reputation as a pain in the ass. TOBY I've cultivated that reputation. JOSH Could I get you to try harder in there? C.J. stares at them. TOBY Sure, cause right now I'm not trying at all. C.J. Guys, I'm standing here. I don't know if you've.... JOSH Yeah? C.J. The wire has a piece. It'll be picked up. 'Sources close to the First Lady say that she'... TOBY Ron Ehrlich? C.J. Yeah. JOSH Who are the sources? C.J. I don't know. Sam spoke to Lilly. She doesn't know a thing about it. JOSH Is it Lilly? C.J. Yeah. Josh snickers. TOBY Mrs. Bartlet should slide in and step in the back door. 'Ron Ehrlich is an old friend but she supports whatever'... C.J. Yeah. She's not going to unless someone tells her to. TOBY [loudly] Well, that sounds an awful lot like your job, C.J. C.J. Well, I was just in there and he doesn't want me to handle the First Lady. JOSH Did he say he didn't want you to 'handle the First lady cause he didn't want you to' or did he say it like 'handle the First Lady but I'm not the one who told you to?' C.J. That's what I don't know. JOSH You gotta learn the signs. C.J. I've got most of the signs. JOSH You don't have that one! C.J. I'm learning that one. TOBY Where's Sam? C.J. He went to the gym. TOBY Page Sam and tell him I want him to talk to Lilly again. C.J. What if the President meant it? TOBY [sighs] We're not handling Mrs. Bartlet. We're talking to her staff. Page Sam. C.J. I know most of the signs. TOBY Go! C.J. walks off. JOSH So what would you have done if the guy told you he drove and American car? TOBY Find some other way of humiliating him. JOSH You like winning, don't you? TOBY Saves you from having to say the word please. JOSH Let's go. [walks back in] TOBY Absolutely. [follows] CUT TO: INT. GYM - DAY Sam is lifting weights as his pager goes off. He seats the weights and sits up, banging his head on the bar. SAM Ow! As he picks up his pager, Congresswoman BECKY REESEMAN walks over. REESEMAN You Alright? SAM Ah, Congresswoman...yes. I'm fine, thanks. REESEMAN I heard the clang and the ow. I figured it must be Sam Seaborn. SAM I'm just trying to get healthy. REESEMAN How's your head? SAM I'm fine. REESEMAN Listen, I actually came over here for a different reason. SAM [stands] How can I help you? REESEMAN Um... Can I talk to you over there for a second? They walk over to a corner. SAM Congresswoman? REESEMAN 'Becky's' fine. SAM [laughs] Okay. REESEMAN Where are you guys on the trade bill? SAM Josh and Toby say we're 15 votes up. REESEMAN Oh, yeah? SAM Yeah, we're meeting with some friends of your right now to try to run up the score. REESEMAN Uh, I want you to know I'm talking to you right now as a courtesy. SAM Okay. REESEMAN There's no obligation for me to come to you. SAM Okay. REESEMAN Any my coming to you and telling you is not an invitation to try to talk me out of it. So I... SAM Becky, tell me you're not offering an amendment. REESEMAN I am. SAM Becky... REESEMAN Child Labor restrictions. SAM You can't. REESEMAN The First Lady blew the trumpet. SAM She didn't... REESEMAN Sam, she did it on television. Given my record I can't be left out of it. SAM You're not being left of anything. REESEMAN Sam, I'm talking to you as a courtesy. SAM This is why we fast tracked this to avoid this kind... REESEMAN I'm talking to you... SAM I understand.... REESEMAN I'm talking to you as a courtesy... SAM This is gonna blow the vote outta the water. Joshua and Toby have a hard nose count that puts us over... REESEMAN I'm talking to you as a courtesy, Sam. I'm introducing the amendment tonight. Josh and Toby are just gonna have to count again. [looks at his forehead] You should put some ice on that head. She wanders off leaving. Sam looks frustrated. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. PRESS ROOM - DAY Danny Concannon is on the phone. Leo walks up. DANNY [into phone] ...Free Market Access Act. The GFTMAA. LEO Danny? DANNY Joanie, I'll call you back. LEO You don't have to get off. DANNY No problem. [hangs up] LEO Take a walk with me. I'm on my way out. They walk through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA. DANNY Say Leo, I noticed the market opened 320 points down. LEO We noticed that ourselves. DANNY You see it's rebounding. LEO Yes. DANNY Not very fast. LEO It'll be fine. DANNY The President needs to name a new Fed Chair. LEO We will. DANNY I got a half year's salary in technology stocks is what I'm saying. LEO I had a hunch. DANNY What do you need? LEO The President was wondering if you have a few minutes to spare at the end of the day. DANNY [stops abruptly, confused] Yeah. LEO [looks around for Danny and turns back] It'll just be you. It'll be informal and off the record. They'll be a reception at five for the Michigan Women's Democratic Caucus. He'll step out for a few minutes. Danny looks at Leo suspiciously. LEO What? DANNY Well it sounds like... LEO Like the place will be lousy with female Democrats? DANNY Yeah. LEO Yeah. DANNY Ok. LEO Thanks. Leo leaves. Danny turns as spots C.J. entering the lobby. DANNY Hey. C.J. Hello, Daniel. DANNY How you doing? C.J. I don't have time to talk to you now. DANNY Okay. Danny leaves. C.J. walks up to Sam as he enters the building with his gym bag. C.J. Sam? SAM Yeah? C.J. I paged you. SAM Yeah. I got your page and thanks. I hit my head. Becky Reeseman came over. I've got to talk to Josh and Toby. C.J. I need you for a second first. SAM What is it? They stop. C.J. I mentioned the wire piece to the President. SAM What did he say? C.J. He said he doesn't want the First Lady handled. SAM Did he mean it or did he mean he wants you... C.J. [sighs] I don't know. SAM C.J.... C.J. I don't have that sign. SAM You gotta pick up the signs. C.J. I've got most all of them. SAM Yeah well, it's an important one to learn. C.J. Toby thinks if you talk to Lilly Mays again... SAM Clarification. C.J. Staffer to Staffer. Gently nudge her in that direction. SAM Yeah, all right. Where are Josh and Toby? C.J. They're still in their meeting. SAM [walks off] Gotta learn the signs, C.J.. C.J. I know! [leaves] CUT TO: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY They're still sitting around that table. CONGRESSMAN Can you deny that the fact that you can buy a British made Range Rover has hurt Ford to some degree? JOSH No, but.... TOBY I can. JOSH Toby... [sighs] TOBY I can deny it. Range Rover inspired Ford to design the Explorer. Which is the best selling vehicle in its class and Ford's most successful model in years. Sam knocks on the door. JOSH Will you excuse us for a moment? Josh and Toby get up to leave. CONGRESSMAN 2 Are we keeping you two from something more important? TOBY Many... many things. The Congressmen look in surprise as they exit. Out in the HALLWAY, Sam waits outside as Josh backs out the door again. Toby follows. JOSH I have to say if there's been improvement in your attitude, it's marginal. TOBY We're in hour number four, you understand. SAM Guys... JOSH Yeah? TOBY I thought you were at the gym. SAM I was. And then Becky Reeseman came over to talk to me. She made it very clear it was just a courtesy. JOSH What'd she say? SAM She's attaching... TOBY No! SAM She's attaching a Child Labor Amendment. JOSH To what? TOBY [sighs] To this. JOSH She can't! SAM She is. JOSH When? SAM Tonight. JOSH This is why we fast tracked it! SAM She's on ways and Means. Josh groans and turns away. TOBY She was serious? This wasn't one of her funny jokes? SAM She was inspired by the First Lady. She thought this morning there were trumpets and she doesn't want to... TOBY There were trumpets? SAM The trumpets called...The trumpets sounded... TOBY What the hell goes on at that gym? Josh turns back to face them. SAM She thinks the train is leaving the station and she wants to be out front of it. JOSH Somebody's' got to talk to Mrs. Bartlet. Tell her to get Becky Reeseman to back off. TOBY [mumbles] I refuse to relay these instructions. JOSH I'll talk to Lilly Mays. SAM I'll do it. I'm already going in there on the Ron Ehrlich thing. JOSH Okay. SAM If I'm gonna take a hit, I might as well take two. [walks off and turns back] TOBY Press upon her the following: It's taken 7 years to get the bill this far. It's locked down. Add this amendment and now I've got to go back in there and be nice to these people! SAM [nods] Yeah. [walks down the hall] JOSH [loudly] Bring this one home, Sam. Sam pumps his fist in the air. Toby and Josh turn back to the Roosevelt Room. JOSH [sighs] After you. TOBY After you. Josh looks at Toby suspiciously then enters. Toby follows. CUT TO: INT. DINER - DAY Zoey and Charlie sit in a booth eating lunch. Gina sits at the counter nearby. ZOEY It's called A Hundred... GINA [into cuff mic] I'll let you know when we're back on campus. [looks over at Zoey and Charlie] CHARLIE ...publishing. ZOEY Yeah. CHARLIE I just read a review. ZOEY It's really great! It begins in the summer of 1900 when my grandmother was a child. [looks down at a notebook] CHARLIE And I see you took notes. [takes the notebook] ZOEY You know why? CHARLIE Cause you're totally anal? ZOEY No... [smiles] yes. CHARLIE [reading] One hundred years ago the average life expectancy in the United States was 47? ZOEY Only 14% of the homes in this country had a bathtub. CHARLIE [reading] 8% of the names had a telephone. ZOEY More than 95% of all births took place at home. CHARLIE [reading] 90% of physicians had no college education. [smiles] This is a fun lunch, Zoey. We've got a little time travel thing going on. ZOEY [laughs] You really want some of my egg salad, don't you? CHARLIE I really do. Zoey laughs and glances out the window. She looks back at Charlie nervously. ZOEY Do you have to get back to the office? CHARLIE I've got a few minutes. Zoey nods after a moment. ZOEY I need to talk to you about Friday night. CHARLIE I took back the suit. ZOEY Charlie, I... CHARLIE I liked it, you didn't. That's ok. I'm here for you. I dress for you. ZOEY Listen... CHARLIE I picked pick up a powdered blue tuxedo with ruffles. ZOEY Listen to me. CHARLIE ...and everything. I'm kidding about the tuxedo. ZOEY Listen to me. We can't go Friday night. CHARLIE That's ok. [pause] Why not? ZOEY [pause] Charlie, you've been getting death threats. CHARLIE From... ZOEY Yeah. CHARLIE 'Cause of you. ZOEY Because of me and you, yeah. Charlie looks hurt. ZOEY There's gonna be some kind of meeting or convention this weekend and... [glances at Gina] ...Secret Service just doesn't think... GINA [walks over] We've tried to secure the place Charlie. [sits down next to Zoey] We don't like it. Two many dark corners, back alleys doorways, windows. There's locks, a cellar. We can't secure the west end of the street. CHARLIE [angry] I don't give a damn. ZOEY Charlie.... CHARLIE [angry] I don't give a damn! I bought a new suit. In fact, I've bought two now. ZOEY Charlie, we can't go. CHARLIE Okay. [looks down at the notebook] Hey, look. It says here that a 100 years ago a black guy couldn't show up to a club opening with a white girl for fear he'd be killed. Zoey stares out the window, upset. ZOEY [to Gina] I have to go to the ladies room. Gina gets out and Zoey slides out. GINA [into cuff mic] Bookbag's up. [sits back down after Zoey leaves] CHARLIE You know, if nothing else...I think if either one of us is gonna be pissed it ought to be me. GINA You're looking at the girl whose job it is to jump in front of a bullet. I like it when she stays in the dorm and watches videos. CHARLIE [digs in his pockets] I gotta go. Is it all right to go? [throws down some money, grabs his coat and slides out] GINA Hey, come on! Tell her yourself. CHARLIE I can't take this! [leaves] CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Sam passes the staffer in the hall. SAM Hey there. STAFFER Hi. They stop. SAM Is Lilly in? She's expecting me. STAFFER You can go on in. Sam walks into LILLY'S OFFICE. Abbey leans against Lilly's desk. Sam looks surprised. ABBEY Hello, Sam. SAM Mrs. Bartlet. ABBEY Lilly tells me we have a problem. SAM Yes, ma'am. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. LILLY'S OFFICE - DAY Sam and Abbey face each other. ABBEY It's the tactics, Sam... SAM Mrs. Bartlet.... ABBEY The strategizing. And I don't understand because we used to be very close. And now it seems to me I have a large and energetic staff who main function seems to be waging war with your staff. Is that accurate? SAM No ma'am. I don't think it is. ABBEY We're thoroughly professional. SAM No ma'am, I don't think you are. ABBEY I beg your pardon? SAM I like Lilly Mays. I think she's top notch, you know that. You know that it was hard for us to give her up. ABBEY Yes? SAM I think you're prone to amateur mistakes. ABBEY [stiffly] So, my staff is professional, just not me. SAM Mrs. Bartlet, you can't go on national television and decide to have a kid sit next to you on a whim. You gotta vet this stuff through my office. ABBEY What was the problem with the interview? SAM There was nothing wrong with the interview except it looked like you discovered there was a child labor problem because a 14-year-old boy named Jeffery just told you about it this morning. ABBEY I do not believe that is true. SAM And I don't not believe that exercise is gonna make me any healthier. But I didn't go to medical school, you did. You say so and I go to the gym. ABBEY Sam... SAM Mrs. Bartlet, I say this with all respect but you have to talk to Becky Reeseman and tell her not to offer that amendment tonight. ABBEY So, I will. SAM [surprised] Excuse me? ABBEY I said... I will. SAM [nods] Okay. ABBEY Is there anything else? SAM No, ma'am. ABBEY Okay. [leaves] SAM [quietly] Thank you, ma'am. [exits] CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Danny waits in a chair. Charlie shuffles through papers. Mrs. Landingham looks at Danny then goes back to her work. DANNY How you doing. Mrs. Landingham? MRS. LANDINGHAM [smiles] Fine. Thank you, Danny. DANNY [smiles] You keep glancing over like you're afraid I'm gonna steal something. MRS. LANDINGHAM [smiles] No, I'm just not used to having members of the print media in here. DANNY [smiles] I'll try not to get ink on the furniture. MRS. LANDINGHAM [smiles sweetly] Aw Danny. and I was just about to offer you a cookie. DANNY And now? MRS. LANDINGHAM No. [grabs some folders and stands up.] Charlie, I'll be back in a few minutes. Abbey enters from the Colonnade. Danny stands. MRS. LANDINGHAM Good evening, Mrs. Bartlet. [leaves] DANNY Good evening, ma'am. ABBEY Hello! Are you covering the event? DANNY The Many Women of Michigan? ABBEY The Michigan Women's Democratic Caucus? DANNY Ah. ABBEY [smiles] Yes. DANNY No. Actually, I'm here to see the President. ABBEY [surprised] Really? DANNY Yes. ABBEY [pause] Okay. She plasters on a fake smile and heads towards the Mural Room. Danny glances at Charlie and sits back down. DANNY So, what's up? CHARLIE Not too much. DANNY I saw you guys are going to the opening on Friday. CHARLIE No. DANNY No? CHARLIE Security. DANNY Is Zoey bothered? CHARLIE You know, Danny, but I say it here and 10 million people read about tomorrow. DANNY Thanks for the boost in my circulation but I'm actually off the record up here. CHARLIE [looks down] It's not going to work. DANNY What's not going to work? CHARLIE You know what I'm talking about. DANNY You and Zoey? CHARLIE Yeah. DANNY Why? CHARLIE [angry] Look, I do what I do...I go where I go. If it's a problem for the Secret Service that I'm black... DANNY Whoa.... CHARLIE ...then that's the way it is. But she shouldn't expect candy and flowers, you know what I mean? DANNY [gets up] I know what you're saying. But I don't' think the problem is you're black. I think the problem is you're stupid. CHARLIE Well, thanks, Danny. You picked me right up. DANNY You bet. Listen, the Hardy Boys in the letters they're talking about, they may be heavily armed but I wouldn't put a lot of money on their marksmanship. One of these days they're gonna miss her and hit me. Two thousand marriage proposals, 2,000 death threats, a dozen bodyguards. Everyone wants to get close. Everyone wants a thing. Plus, and I say this standing fifteen feet from the Oval Office, life with father couldn't have been a real company picnic, you know. If it was me, just for now, I'd make sure I was the one guy in her life who was hassle free. That's just me. Charlie stands as Bartlet opens the door to the Oval Office and steps in. BARTLET Danny... DANNY Yes, sir. Bartlet smiles and motions for Danny to follow him. He slaps Danny on the arm and escorts him into THE OVAL OFFICE. Leo is sitting on the couch. BARTLET Please. [motions to the couch] LEO Hey, Danny. DANNY Good evening, Leo. BARTLET Yes. Danny and Bartlet sit down. LEO I'd just like to say right off the bat that I strongly urged the President not to have this conversation. So I'm just a guy sitting here. BARTLET [smiles] We note with surprise your lack of conviction, Leo. LEO [grimly] Note it well, Sir. Danny returns Bartlet's smile. It grows awkward. BARTLET I miss our late night talks, Danny. DANNY Yes, sir. BARTLET [smiles warmly] Out there in the campaign trail.... Ames, Iowa...Tulsa... Skokie, Center City, Tallahassee, Albany...San Antonio, Jasper, Wyoming. DANNY [smiles] Yes, sir. BARTLET [nods and smiles] We got very close. DANNY I'm flattered by that, sir. BARTLET You covered the First Lady as well. DANNY Yes, sir. BARTLET You literally wrote the book on my wife. DANNY Yes, sir. [laughs] BARTLET Once again I want to emphasize the strong personal bond we built on the campaign... LEO [grimaces] Oh, for God's sake. DANNY Mr. President, did you call me in to ask me if I knew who the sources are close to the First Lady? BARTLET [shifts uncomfortably] Well, I was... going to... [looks at Leo] ...in a... proper... gentlemanly... LEO Even Byzantine... BARTLET ...way... [glares at Leo] DANNY [shakes head] No... no... no. BARTLET Danny. DANNY No... no, sir. BARTLET You must save me from having this conversation with my wife. DANNY Mr. President... BARTLET Or at least make it seem like I'm better armed than I evidently am. DANNY I'm sorry, Mr. President. BARTLET [scowls] Danny... DANNY I'd be revealing someone else's source. BARTLET We're off the record. DANNY Also, I'd get in trouble with the First Lady! BARTLET Welcome to the club, Danny. We had some jackets made. LEO Let him go. BARTLET [sighs and smiles] Albany...Tulsa, Wichita. [laughs] I'm not kidding...a personal bond here, Danny. DANNY Sir, if makes you feel any better I just gave some very sage dating advice to Charlie Young. BARTLET [nervously] You're coaching my Personal Aide on how to best score with my daughter? Yes, Danny, that does make me feel better. DANNY Well, anything I can do to help, Mr. President. BARTLET Go away. DANNY Thank you, Mr. President. LEO Thanks, Danny. Danny leaves. CUT TO: INT. MURAL ROOM - NIGHT The room is crowded with groups of women talking. Josh and Donna stand among the crowd. Donna is drinking tea. Josh looks bored. DONNA It's an interesting book. JOSH The Hundred Years ago thing? DONNA Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstress were apt become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm of foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide, which was thought to diminish a woman' sexual desires into their drinking water. JOSH Why would anyone want to diminish a woman's sexual desires? DONNA We can get out of hand. Josh looks surprised. They watch as Abbey enters. JOSH Here we go. She walks over to a group of women, including Becky Reeseman. ABBEY Excuse me. WOMAN Good evening. ABBEY Would you mind if I had a word with Congresswoman Reeseman? WOMAN Well, sure! REESEMAN I'll find you later. The other women leave. REESEMAN [to Abbey] That's a beautiful suit. ABBEY Becky, did you decide to run for the Senate and not tell me? REESEMAN [surprised] Abbey... [laughs nervously] ABBEY Cause you know Jed and I will be there with whatever you need. REESEMAN I know the amendment comes as a bit of a surprise but... ABBEY Your Child Labor amendment is a poison pill. It will kill the GFTMAA is the following way: The Republican leadership will allow their guys to wear the black hats and they'll be released from a party line vote. This will surprised but not shock the Democratic leadership because they've seen it before. The vote will pass the House cause that's how sure they are that it will never pass the Senate and what's more you know it. REESEMAN I felt like the train was leaving the station, Abbey. ABBEY When the trains leaving the station you'll know that too. REESEMAN There is a Senate seat open you know. ABBEY And I'm sure the President will do what he can for you. REESEMAN I've heard that before, Abbey. ABBEY We're not in the back of Steve's boat now, Becky. Don't bargain with me here. REESEMAN I put this amendment back in my pocket like you told me to and I'm going to have problems of my own. ABBEY How many people know? REESEMAN You, Steve, my staff, I'm sure by now the President's staff... ABBEY Then you're fine. REESEMAN Wait. Excuse me. Am I supposed to trust the President's staff? ABBEY Yes. Are we done? REESEMAN [pause] Yes. ABBEY Thank you. Reeseman watches her leave. CUT TO: INT. OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Leo sits in a chair reading from the "Hundred Years" book to Bartlet. BARTLET The rhythm of the sewing machine petals? LEO That's what it says. [reading] "Marijuana, heroin, morphine were all available over the counter in drug stores. According to one Pharmacist, heroin clears the completion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels and is in fact the perfect guardian of health." Now they tell me. Bartlet laughs. Mrs. Landingham knocks and enters. MRS. LANDINGHAM Mr. President... LEO [jumps to his feet] I'm outta here. BARTLET Stay. LEO Right. BARTLET Chicken. Bartlet looks at his watch as Leo quickly leaves. Bartlet looks nervous. Abbey enters. ABBEY [tight smile] Hello. BARTLET Hello. ABBEY Hello, pumpkin. Mrs. Landingham closes the door. Abbey drops her suit coat over the back of a chair. BARTLET Abbey? ABBEY Hello, gumdrop. BARTLET [nervously] Listen... [quickly walks to the door and closes it] ABBEY [tight smile] Sam Seaborn came to see my Chief of Staff today. In fact, he did it twice. BARTLET Well, your Chief of Staff is a very attractive woman. Maybe he was, you know... ABBEY Jed... BARTLET Abbey, I told C.J. specifically... ABBEY Then C.J. got the signal wrong. BARTLET [contrite] No, she didn't. ABBEY What? BARTLET She didn't get the signal wrong. I wanted her to send someone. ABBEY Are you telling me... BARTLET This wire thing is a problem for me. The kid on TV was a mistake. And the amendment, from Becky Reeseman... ABBEY I just killed it. BARTLET ...will bring down a trade bill that's been worked on for years. ABBEY I said I just killed it. BARTLET [nods] Fine. ABBEY Jed, we share a bed. Why didn't you just come to me? BARTLET I staffed it out to C.J.. ABBEY [angry] You staffed it out. BARTLET That's right. ABBEY [angry] You don't staff me out. Bartlet paces, puts his hand on his head. ABBEY [angry] You don't give C.J. signals. You don't send Sam. And you don't bring Danny Concannon up here. [loudly] Don't handle me, Jed! BARTLET [yells, bangs on the desk] Then don't play me, Abbey! Don't work me! A lot of people around here think it was Lilly Mays, who planted you have a preference for Ron Erlich! ABBEY It wasn't Lilly Mays. BARTLET [loudly] I know it wasn't Lilly Mays. It was you! ABBEY [angry] Yes! BARTLET [angry] Yes! ABBEY Yes! And I'm sorry about that, but I wanted Ron to know that he had my support. BARTLET [angry] Well you put me in a bit of a spot there, Abigail. I name Ron Erlich now, which I was going to do anyway, and it makes me look like I'm taking instructions from my wife! ABBEY [loudly] Still it was wrong! BARTLET Are you talking about you or me? ABBEY [loudly] I'm talking about you. I'm talking about you sending people to me. And I tell you what else I'm talking about. I'm talking about you waiting a day to name a new fed chair, because thirty years ago the new fed chair was my boyfriend for six months. BARTLET [sternly] I'm talking about sending me messages through the press, and staking out agendas on morning shows. We are not going to be these people, Abbey. I'm not gonna do it! [loudly] I'll walk up to the hill right now, and I will give the Speaker of the House my resignation. ABBEY The house isn't in session. BARTLET [yelling] Do you want to see me get on the phone and put it in session?! ABBEY [clipped] Don't raise your voice to me! BARTLET [yelling] It was nine months, Abbey. Not six months. And I waited a day on Skippy, because the fed chair is a fairly important position, and I wanted to make damn sure my decision was right. ABBEY [yelling] You already made your decision! BARTLET How the hell do you know? ABBEY [yelling] You just said so. "I name Ron Erlich now, which I was gonna do anyway. It looks like I'm taking instructions from... my... wife!" BARTLET Yes. ABBEY Yes. BARTLET Yes. Bartlet paces as they both cool off. ABBEY Okay. So just ease up on the high ground. BARTLET On that point I concede the high ground. ABBEY Then I concede I was wrong about the thing. BARTLET Good. ABBEY However... BARTLET No, no however. Just be wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong, and get used to it. ABBEY However... BARTLET Nine months, Abbey. ABBEY However... BARTLET Yes? ABBEY I'm still gonna kick your ass on child labor. BARTLET Abbey, please. ABBEY Jed, if it was one of our girls in that factory, you'd send in the Marines. BARTLET [looks thoughtful and nods] Yeah. ABBEY [quietly] Yeah. BARTLET Okay. [pause] We just had our first Oval Office fight. ABBEY [sighs] Yeah. Abbey turns and leans on the edge of his desk. Bartlet puts his hands in his pockets and walks around the desk. BARTLET Did you talk to Zoey today? [leans next to her, avoiding her gaze] ABBEY She went back to her dorm. She and Charlie had a fight cause the Service doesn't want them to show up at this thing together. [gazes at him] BARTLET Maybe she'll be so traumatized by this experience, that she'll never date another boy again. ABBEY Well, he left here a little while ago and...I'd say that in about an hour the lights will be off, there'll be a sock on the doorknob, and who... BARTLET Don't finish that sentence, I'm a man of questionable health. [glances at her sideways] The Michigan women are waiting for me. ABBEY Okay. Abbey smiles as he puts his arm around her shoulders and they walk towards the door. He drops her jacket around her shoulders and they exit. DISSOLVE TO: INT. DORM HALLWAY - NIGHT Charlie walks up the crowded hallway with flowers. He stops and Zoey's door and knocks. While he waits, he turns and looks at Gina in the dorm room across the hall. She looks up at him from the book she's reading. Zoey answers her door and glares at Charlie. CHARLIE [quietly] Hi. ZOEY [coldly] Yes? CHARLIE I came to apologize. ZOEY You left me sitting in a restaurant. CHARLIE I feel bad about that. ZOEY Are there other things to feel bad about too? CHARLIE Yes. ZOEY Name them, please. CHARLIE I... Gina smiles at them. CHARLIE Off the top of my head I wouldn't be able to give you a comprehensive list. Just suffice it to say that anything I've done to upset you even if it exists in your kind of confused little mind, I really apologize for. ZOEY [smiles and steps towards him] What did you bring me? CHARLIE I brought you flowers. [hands her the flowers] ZOEY Oh, I can see that. What else? CHARLIE A book. [hands her a book] ZOEY [reading] Introduction to Advanced Trigonometry. Gina laughs and puts down her book. CHARLIE Your father made me pick it up. ZOEY What else? CHARLIE Popcorn. ZOEY Why the popcorn? CHARLIE 'Cause I brought videos. ZOEY Get in here. Zoey smiles at him. Charlie smiles at Gina as Zoey pulls him inside and closes the door. Gina exits her room. GINA [into cuff mic] Bookbag is in for the night. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 1.17 -- 'The White House Pro-Am' Original Airdate: March 22, 2000, 9:00 PM EST