Season 1 – Episode 17 – “The White House Pro-Am”

Episode Summary:

The President’s (Martin Sheen) and First Lady’s (Stockard Channing) staffs feud over rival agendas when her public statements about foreign child-labor abuse inspires a Congresswoman Becky Reeseman (Amy Aquino) to attach an amendment that will surely torpedo a long-delayed international tariff bill favored by the President. What’s more, when the revered chairman of the Federal Reserve dies, the President is under pressure to name the former head’s top lieutenant as his successor — the same man who seriously dated the First Lady in college. Away from the White House, Zoey (Elisabeth Moss) clashes with her boyfriend Charlie (Dul´┐Ż Hill) when she suggests that they not step out together at an upcoming club opening at the request of the Secret Service which is concerned about recent hate letters concerning their interracial relationship. Josh (Bradley Whitford) asks opinionated Toby (Richard Schiff) to mind his manners prior to parleying with important Congressmen.

Script:

THE WEST WING
"THE WHITE HOUSE PRO-AM"
WRITTEN BY: LAWRENCE O'DONNELL JR. & PAUL REDFORD and AARON SORKIN
DIRECTED BY: KEN OLIN

TEASER

FADE IN: INT. MURAL ROOM - DAY
Abbey sits in front of cameras with JEFFREY MORGAN. Several members of her
staff
and Jeffrey's parents sit behind the camera. Production staff adjust lights
and
apply makeup.

ABBEY
I don't want you to be nervous.

JEFFREY
Okay.

ABBEY
If you're nervous I'll detect it and mock you mercilessly on national
television.

JEFFREY
Okay.

ABBEY
Sure, some people think it's cool for the First Lady to mock a 14 year old
boy
who's only crime is getting nervous, talking on television in front of
millions
and millions of people, but hey, I'm gonna do it anyway.

JEFFREY
[nods] Okay, I understand.

ABBEY
Jeffery...

JEFFREY
Yes, Ma'am?

ABBEY
I was kidding. [Jeffrey laughs.] Now, if you do get nervous, just look at
me or
look at your parents.

JEFFREY
Okay.

ABBEY
But you're not gonna get nervous, are you?

JEFFREY
[shakes head] Nope.

ABBEY
[smiles] If you do I'll beat your brains out.

JEFFREY
[smiles] Yes, Ma'am.

ABBEY
[smiles] Not me personally 'cause I have people who do that for me. But you
get
the idea.

DIRECTOR
Mrs. Bartlet, ten seconds.

ABBEY
[loudly] Lilly, should have worn gray today!

LILLY
You're good.

Abbey shakes off tension and faces the camera.

HOST [on TV]
Twenty-five minutes past the hour and 42 degrees outside our Rockefeller
Center
studios. Abigail Bartlet is no stranger to the fight for children's health
around
the world. And she's taken the time to speak with us this morning. Good
morning,
Mrs. Bartlet.

ABBEY
Good Morning, Melissa.

HOST [on TV]
You're speaking to us from the Mural Room, is that right?

ABBEY
That's right. [looks at Jeffery] And I'm here to introduce this young man on
my left, Jeffery Morgan. Jeffery helped opened my eyes to the issue of child
labor exploitation around the world.

Abbey's chief of staff, LILLY MAYS, watches for a moment and walks out to
the HALLWAY.

HOST [on TV]
Now Jeffery, you started your organization because of pen pal you felt was
in trouble.

CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATION'S BULLPEN - DAY
Sam stands watching the program on a monitor. Lilly walks up to him.

JEFFREY [on TV]
Yes, and I thought that...

SAM
[confused] When did Jeffery happen?

LILLY
Sam...

SAM
Lilly, when did Jeffery happen?

LILLY
I dug it up for her yesterday. You're gonna love him.

SAM
Let's find out.

They watch the monitor.

HOST [on TV]
Your organization, the Kids Crusade...

JEFFREY [on TV]
The Children's Crusade.

HOST [ON TV]
The Children...I'm sorry. The Children's Crusade was created when your pen
pal was sold into slavery, is that right?

JEFFREY [on TV]
Well, that's not they call it in India, but that's what it is. You see,
Panshant's
mother borrowed $25. And Panshant had to go to work to pay back the loan.

LILLY
He's good.

SAM
Yeah.

ABBEY [on TV]
She borrowed the money from what we would call a loan shark, Melissa. Then
Panshant
was bonded to work for the loan shark. But he never paid back the loan
because he...

SAM looks at a newspaper.

LILLY
And here's my thing.

SAM
What?

LILLY
What would you guys think about the President not going to the Hill to the
Budget
Meeting but bringing the leadership to the White House instead?

SAM
Why?

LILLY
We want the news cycle.

SAM
[looks up from the paper] Lilly?

LILLY
She's got the National Press Club tomorrow. It's her first major speech since
Commencement Season. It's child labor and we want the news cycle.

SAM
[reads the paper] News cycle doesn't belong to us, Lilly. It's not ours to
give away.

LILLY
You know what I'm talking about.

SAM
We want to show that the President is reaching out to Congress for a Budget
compromise. He's literally going to Congress.

LILLY
He's being driven 6 blocks in a stretch limo, Sam. It's not like he's Henry
Clay.

SAM
It's a symbol.

LILLY
Your guy steps out of a motorcade and it's three column inches above the
fold. My guy
is page 23.

SAM
Your guy's married to our guy and our guy won an election. That's something
you people
are gonna have to get used to.

LILLY
Your guy has a 48% approval rating. My guy's at 61. And bite me.

SAM
Ah, point well argued. [goes back to reading the paper]

HOST [on TV]
Mrs. Bartlet, does the company know its subcontractors are using child labor?

ABBEY [on TV]
Melissa, if they don't then they're criminally negligent. If they do then
they're
simply criminal.

LILLY
[pointing at the TV] There it is!

SAM
That was a pretty good pitch to inning.

LILLY
Come on Sam, see Toby. Give us some room to run!

SAM
Lilly...

TOBY
[walks out of his office] Change the channel.

LILLY
Toby...

TOBY
[to Lilly] Hi. [to Sam] Change to Channel 5.

SAM
What happened?

TOBY
Bernie Dahl died.

Toby walks back in his office. They stare at him for a moment.

ABBEY [on TV]
Eighty hours a week in darkness and violence....

Sam grabs the remote and changes channels.

REPORTER [on TV]
...suffering what is being described as a massive heart attack was pronounced
dead
upon arrival at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. Mr. Dahl, widely respected on
Wall
Street as the chief architect of the longest peacetime economic expansion
in history,
was in a fourth year of his second four year term as Chairman of the Federal
Reserve.

SAM
You just lost your news cycle.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES
END TEASER
* * *

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Bartlet sits with two Intelligence advisors.

BARTLET
[reading] Is here going to be a coup?

ADVISOR
Excuse me, sir?

BARTLET
Is there going to be a coup?

MILITARY ADVISOR
Uh, no sir. We believe the new few weeks the Abida Kahn will appoint their
successors
from diverse regions and groups, including the Ebo from the East.

Leo wanders in and stands in the doorway.

ADVISOR
They've been complainting of under representation.

BARTLET
And this is on page....

ADVISOR
17... In your classified book.

BARTLET
Page 17.

They page through.

LEO
Excuse me... Mr. President.

BARTLET
Yeah? [looks up] Oh. [to advisors] Excuse me, please. [gets up and walks
over to Leo]
Leo... Intelligence briefing.

LEO
I know.

BARTLET
There are mornings I'm just nodding my head. That can't be good for anybody.

LEO
Bernie Dahl had a heart attack.

BARTLET
No!

LEO
Yeah. He died about an hour ago...

BARTLET
[shocked] He died?!?

LEO
...on the way to the hospital. Bad timing.

BARTLET
I'll say. Who knows so far?

LEO
We got it off the news.

BARTLET
Dammit.

LEO
Yeah.

BARTLET
[looks at his watch] The market is going to open 200 points down.

LEO
If we're lucky.

BARTLET
When was the last time we were lucky?

LEO
Super Tuesday.

BARTLET
It's going to be 300...350.

LEO
Announce Ron Ehrlich.

BARTLET
Not yet.

LEO
Announce Ron Ehrlich as Dahl's successor.

BARTLET
Not... yet.

LEO
You do it this morning when trading opens everyone calms down.

BARTLET
I'm not saying I'm not sure it's Ehrlich.

LEO
Sir...

BARTLET
I'm saying I'm not sure. It's the Fed Chairman. Give me a day.

LEO
It's gonna be an expensive day.

BARTLET
How expensive.

LEO
You say 300 points. It could be more.

BARTLET
Wall Street needs to trust me.

LEO
Should I go tell them that?

BARTLET
A day. I'll tell you something else. You could have been nicer to me during
this
conversation.

LEO
How?

BARTLET
By saying that Wall Street does trust me and the market will hold until I
appoint
a new Fed Chairman.

LEO
Sure. Just give me a minute to call my broker and dump my portfolio.

BARTLET
I'm taking the day.

LEO
I'm going to leak it, sir, on account in the next hour people will calm
things down.

BARTLET
No.

LEO
Mr. President!

BARTLET
I'm not ready to jump into bed with Ron Ehrlich yet. I'm one of the few
people in my
family who can say that.

LEO
Yes, sir.

The advisors stand as Bartlet walks back over to them.

BARTLET
So... [sits] That's was page 17?

The advisors sit.

ADVISOR
Yes, sir. The Leader of the National Assembly...

CUT TO: EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY

CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Josh leans back in his chair, phone to his ear. Donna walks in.

DONNA
So, I've been reading this book.

JOSH
I'm...on the phone.

DONNA
You're on hold!

JOSH
How do you know?

DONNA
The light was blinking.

JOSH
[glares at the blinking light] What book?

DONNA
It's about what life was like 100 years ago.

JOSH
Donna, the fact that I'm on hold right now this shouldn't be your cue to tell
me what like was like 100 years ago.

DONNA
For instance... [Josh sighs.] A hundred years ago most women bathed once a
month and they used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

JOSH [into phone]
[sits up quickly] I'm here. [turns his head away from Donna]

DONNA
Florence and Bertha were among the top ten names given girls.

JOSH [into phone]
I'm meeting with them in 5mintues. Toby's gonna be fine.

DONNA
Today they don't make the top ten thousand.

JOSH [into phone]
Excuse me. [to Donna] What?? [holds the phone against his forehead]

DONNA
Florence and Bertha aren't among the top ten thousands names today yet only
a ....

JOSH
I'm actually back on the phone now.

DONNA
I'll wait. [sits on the arm of a chair]

JOSH [into phone]
Toby's gonna be fine. Don't worry about it. [hangs up and puts on his suit
coat]
Toby's in his office?

DONNA
Yeah. Population of Las Vegas, Nevada... [Josh stares at her.] ...was 22.

JOSH
I'm gonna go to my meeting now. But you sit here and keeping talking. It'll
be like
I never left. [grabs papers and walks around his desk]

DONNA
Here. [stands up and hands him a folder]

JOSH
Thank you.

Josh walks out with Donna in pursuit. They wander through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA.

DONNA
And you know what else?

JOSH
What?

DONNA
Drive-by shootings were a problem in Denver.

JOSH
100 years ago?

DONNA
Yeah!

JOSH
What were they driving?

DONNA
I'm glad you asked.

JOSH
Horses!

DONNA
Young boys on horseback riding through town shooting at, I
suppose...stagecoaches
and whatnot.

JOSH
[drops off mail] When do you have time to read these books?!?

DONNA
It's important to make time just for yourself, Josh.

JOSH
I notice you're able to do it right here at the office.

DONNA
I'm adaptable.

JOSH
Among other things.

Donna smiles as Josh walks off.

CUT TO: INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - DAY
Sam paces outside Toby's door. Toby sits inside writing on a pad and munching
antacids.

TOBY
Sam?

SAM
Yeah? [walks in]

TOBY
C.J. gonna need a reason why the President's waiting a day that doesn't
sound like
we're reconsidering Ehrlich.

SAM
I just gave her one.

TOBY
What?

SAM
Respect.

TOBY
[sighs] The man just died... out of respect for his memory... his family...

SAM
It would be wrong to name a successor on the day he...

TOBY
Respect works.

SAM
[sighs] Tell you this though, I'm going to the gym today. [paces]

TOBY
Okay that didn't seem to be about anything that interests me.

SAM
I'm just saying. Bernie Dahl has a heart attack, BAM!.... right out of
nowhere.

TOBY
It's his fifth heart attack Sam. He was 138 years old. [munches antacids]

SAM
Yeah but these are highly stressful jobs. I haven't been to the gym in three
weeks.

TOBY
Sam, look at yourself. How much healthier do you want to be?

SAM
I'm just saying if anybody need me at lunch I'm gonna be at the gym. And
that's
gonna be sad for me because I'm gonna live longer than you.

TOBY
Don't count on it.

Sam leaves. Josh runs up.

SAM
[gloomy] Hey.

JOSH
Hey. [steps in] Toby....

TOBY
We are waiting a day to make our announcement out of respect, Josh.

JOSH
For whom?

TOBY
The dead.

JOSH
Oh.

TOBY
And how I wish I were one of them.

JOSH
Now...You're gonna love this meeting!

TOBY
Betcha I'm not.

JOSH
Toby....

TOBY
It's locked down.

JOSH
I know that!

TOBY
[loudly] It's locked down with some 15 votes to spare.

JOSH
There is value for having these three Congressmen on board.

TOBY
What is it?

JOSH
A... A clear and public demonstration that the President's liberal base
hasn't
turned their backs.

Toby gets up and walks behind his desk.

TOBY
[smiles] In the case of these three people, I'd like to see a clear and
public
demonstration that they've turned their backs and run as far as humanly
possible.

JOSH
I think you think it's beneath you to ask.

TOBY
[yelling] It is beneath me to ask. It's sown up! By 15. [Josh looks around
nervously.]
[yelling] We've got the trade bill. It's sewn up! And it's as bipartisan as
we're
likely to see. There was a victory and we're the victors. And I'm not going
in there
hat in my hands.

JOSH
No one's asking you too.

TOBY
[yelling] You're asking me too!

Josh walks in and closes the door.

JOSH
No, we're gonna do good cop, bad cop.

TOBY
No...we're really not.

JOSH
Why not?

TOBY
Cause this isn't an episode of Hawaii 5-0. How about you be the good cop,
I'll
be the cop who didn't go to the meeting.

JOSH
You have to go to the meeting. I told them you would be at the meeting. If
you're
not there they're gonna start right out insulted.

Josh heads to the door and opens it for Toby.

TOBY
I go to this meeting there's a decent chance we end this meeting with them
insulted.
So... [grabs the antacids]

JOSH
Let's go.

Josh opens the door for Toby. They exit into the COMUNICATION'S OFFICE.

TOBY
I need to exercise more.

JOSH
Toby...

TOBY
I gotta exercise more. I gotta eat better.

Toby munches antacids. They pause in the doorway.

JOSH
Toby, you're gonna sit in that room and you're gonna behave yourself. I swear
to God, you are gonna sit there while I court these peoples votes and every
so often you're gonna smile so as to indicate warmth.

TOBY
I can still kick the crap outta you, though. We're clear on that, right?

JOSH
Yeah.

TOBY
Then what the heck are we waiting for?

Josh eyes Toby warily. Toby munches the antacids.

JOSH
Toby...

TOBY
I'll be nice.

JOSH
The President's very serious about this.

TOBY
He shouldn't be.

JOSH
So you've told him many times but here these people are. So, I guess the
President
disagrees with you... Given that...

TOBY
I understand. Let's go.

JOSH sticks out his chin and glares at Toby. They exit into the HALLWAY.

JOSH
So you're just gonna sit there.

TOBY
Yeah.

JOSH
If you open your mouth it will be to say something nice.

TOBY
Yes.

Josh looks doubtful.

JOSH
Come on.

Josh pauses at the door and eyes Toby before they enter THE ROOSEVELT ROOM.

TOBY
[whispers] It's sewn up, Josh.

JOSH
[whispers] Whatever.

TOBY
[whispers] By 15 votes.

JOSH
Morning.

CONGRESSMAN 1
Morning.

JOSH
How are you?

Josh walks over and shakes the hands of the Congressmen.

CONGRESSMAN 1
Good.

JOSH
Nice to see you. Thanks for coming.

CONGRESSMAN 2
Josh, how are you?

Toby sits sullenly at the table, munching antacids.

JOSH
How you been?

CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM - DAY
C.J. is at the podium.

C.J.
He is shocked and saddened by the death of his colleague. For over 11 years
Bernard Dahl oversaw the largest economic expansion in the country's history
and I can assure you he will be....

REPORTERS
[shouting] C.J.! C.J.!

C.J.
...missed. [sighs] Katie?

KATIE
Is Ron Ehrlich the new Fed Chair?

C.J.
There are a number of very good candidates.

CHRIS
Who's on the short list?

C.J.
I want to be clear, no such list exists. Obviously from his post as the
number
two man at the Federal Reserve, Ron Ehrlich is a candidate.

STEVE
Sidney Bloom?

C.J.
Sidney Bloom is a candidate.

STEVE
Lawrence Ottenberg?

C.J.
Mr. Ottenberg is a candidate.

DANNY
C.J., Mrs. Bartlet's declared a preference for Ron Ehrlich. To what extent do
you think that's going to weigh in on the President's decision?

C.J.
[looks caught off-guard] I'm aware of no such declaration.

DANNY
It's in a wire piece. 'Unnamed people close the First Lady' are saying she
hoped
the President would appoint Ron Ehrlich when Bernie Dahl's term expired.

C.J.
I don't know who the unnamed people are. But I suppose it's possible on a
social
occasion...

DANNY
OK.

KATIE
C.J., when's the President going to name the new Chairman?

C.J.
We're hoping to have it done tomorrow.

CHRIS
Why the delay?

C.J.
[solemnly] Respect.

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
C.J. and Carol exit the Briefing Room.

C.J.
Get me a copy of the wire report?

CAROL
On your desk.

C.J.
Could I have sounded any stupider saying respect?

CAROL
You were fine!

Sam approaches from the other direction with his gym bag.

C.J.
Sam.

SAM
Yeah?

C.J.
I need you.

SAM
I'm going to the gym.

C.J. turns and walks back with him.

C.J.
I got a question about Mrs. Bartlet stating her preference for Ron Ehrlich.

They stop walking in the lobby doorway.

SAM
Publically?

C.J.
It's in a wire piece that's on my desk.

Ginger walks by.

SAM
Ginger! [throws his gym bag to her]

GINGER
Back to your office?

SAM
Yep!

Ginger walks off with the bag.

C.J.
Thank you!

C.J. pats him on the arm. They head off in different directions.

CUT TO: INT. LILLY'S OFFICE - DAY
Lilly is on the phone. A staffer sits across the desk.

LILLY [into phone]
She was fantastic this morning and I can promise you that was just the
opening
salvo. First Lady is gonna lead the charge against Child Labor. [whispers to
staffer] There's some index cards on Patty's desk . I need them for the ride
over.

The staffer gets up and leaves as Sam enters.

SAM
Hi.

STAFFER
Hi.

LILLY [into phone]
Yeah, she'll do Larry King tonight then go to St Louis. Yeah, call me back
later
and I'll give you 10 minutes. [hangs up.] Did you see the rest of the
interview?

She stands and shuffles through papers.

SAM
I didn't.

LILLY
Jeffery and his classmates raised enough money for Panshant and everyone in
their
village to get out of debt.

SAM
Well that solves that, then.

LILLY
Abbey's running with the ball, Sam.

SAM
And I just want to make sure we're the ones calling the plays in the huddle,
Lilly.

LILLY
What's the problem?

SAM
C.J. got a question regarding the First Lady's preference for Ron Ehrlich.

LILLY
Her preference is fairly well known, Sam. I don't think...

SAM
This time it was in a wire piece...'Sources close to Mrs. Bartlet'.

LILLY
I don't know anything about it.

SAM
It wasn't you...

LILLY
I just said I didn't know anything about it.

SAM
Okay, we'll let you know when we want something leaked. You know that, right?

LILLY
[angry] Sam, I standing here telling you and I'm telling you that I don't
know
anything about it. And if C.J. wants to come up here and call me a liar...

SAM
C.J. didn't come up here, I did. No one's calling you a liar.

Lilly puts down the papers and buttons her suitcoat.

LILLY
We've gotta find a way for our two staffs to work together better than this.

SAM
No we don't. We need to find a way for your staff to work better with our
staff.

LILLY
Well, that's the spirit, Sam.

SAM
Look, I'm...

LILLY
[coldly] I'm late for a speech. [walks out angrily]

SAM
Lilly?

The Staffer rushes back in and looks through some folders on a table.

SAM
[quietly] That was a nice bit of diplomacy I... just did there. [The staffer
looks at
him.] That's good. [to staffer] I'm going to the gym now.

STAFFER
Okay! [leaves]

SAM
Okay.

Sam shakes his head and walks out, hands on pockets.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY

CUT TO: INT. OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Bartlet stands behind his desk talking to Leo. C.J. stares at them.

BARTLET
Without regard to the validity of past arguments.

LEO
That the National Debt was so high it required us to suck up to the bond
market.

BARTLET
Yes and I'm saying that condition doesn't exist anymore.

LEO
Well, maybe so.

BARTLET
Historically, American prosperity has been built the broad growth in the GDP
of 5% of greater. And now with the deflationary pressures of the Global
Economy,
that kind of growth can be achieved without the negative side affects of
rampant
inflation. [to C.J.] Do you understand what I'm saying?

C.J. starts to open her mouth.

LEO
C.J. doesn't understand a word you're saying.

C.J.
I understand the [something French]. I get the basic [more French] of what
you're saying.
[Leo and Bartlet smile at each other.] I really don't understand anything.

BARTLET
My point is Ron Ehrlich might not be the guy. I'm saying it's not a mortal
lock.

C.J.
So let me suggest, Mr. President, that I talk to the First Lady and ask her
to clarify...

BARTLET
[shakes head] No...

C.J.
...that her position...

BARTLET
No, no...

C.J.
"My husband will choose the best man for the Fed...."

BARTLET
[shakes head] Noooo...

C.J.
..." I support whatever..." Sir!

BARTLET
C.J., we don't handle my wife. When we try, do you know what happens at the
other
end of this building? [smiles]

C.J.
You get a little punishment.

BARTLET
I get a little punishment. Screw it. Let's move on. It's not a big deal.
[walks behind his desk]

C.J.
Yes, sir.

Leo looks at C.J.

BARTLET
[to C.J.] But try to find out who those friends of my wife's are in the wire
piece
and take them out back and have them shot. [to Leo] Can I do that?

LEO
Yeah.

BARTLET
Yeah, Leo says I can do that. It's gonna be Phyllis who has never liked me.
It's gonna be Susan who thinks I'm xenophobic because I don't like Mexican
food.
These are my wife's friends.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
[walks in] Mr. President...

BARTLET
Yes. [to Leo and C.J.] It could be our old next-door neighbors Herb and
Marjorie
Douglas. [Mrs. Landingham frowns at him.] They're still angry at me 'cause
I accidentally ran them over with my car.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
Zoey's here.

BARTLET
Thank you, Mrs. Landingham.

Mrs. Landingham leaves the door open as she exits.

C.J.
Anything else?

BARTLET
No.

C.J.
Thank you, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Thank you, C.J.

C.J. leaves.

BARTLET
I'll tell you what else; historically 2 to 2 Ohm GDP expansion is classified
lack luster even anemic economic growth. [walks towards the open door]
Four Ohm to 5% is needed just to be considered robust and not even spectacular.

LEO
[confused] You know, sometimes I don't know what you're talking about.

BARTLET
Sometimes I'm just making it up.

Zoey steps in.

BARTLET
Hello, sweetheart.

ZOEY
Dad.

BARTLET
[kisses Zoey on the cheek.] You used to go to school in overalls with a
little hat.
[closes the door]

ZOEY
Yes, I used to be five.

LEO
What's up, Zoey?

ZOEY
Just keeping it real.

LEO
[confused] Hmm?

BARTLET
Who the hell knows? [gives her a hug]

LEO
Anything else?

BARTLET
No.

LEO
Thank you, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Thank you, Leo.

Leo walks out to his office.

BARTLET
What you got today?

ZOEY
I got Intro to Cinema and 19th Century Studies.

BARTLET
How about math. Why aren't you taking math?

ZOEY
Cause I graduated High School.

Zoey and Bartlet sit on the couch.

BARTLET
Wiseass all you want, but you're coming of age in the 21st century. A century
in which I promise you mathematics is going to play a starring role. On the
other hand I would definitely put my shoulder into Intro to Cinema. Intro to
Cinema's what got me where I am today.

ZOEY
Did you call me over to make fun of me?

BARTLET
That was going to be a big part of my day. [gives her the books back]

ZOEY
Dad...

BARTLET
I met with Butterfield and some Secret Service Agents this morning.

ZOEY
What did I do?

BARTLET
You didn't do anything. They think you should be taking more math.

ZOEY
[laughs] Dad...

BARTLET
It's time for me to tell you about some letters we've been getting.

ZOEY
[worried] Threats?

BARTLET
[frowns] Yeah. They don't like that the daughter of the President is dating
a young
black man.

ZOEY
Charlie?

BARTLET
Zoey, please don't tell me you're dating more than one guy.

ZOEY
[concerned] No.

BARTLET
Ok.

ZOEY
What is...

BARTLET
Cause one guy for you is actually one more than I'm comfortable with.

ZOEY
So you've said.

BARTLET
I could see it's had a real impact on you.

ZOEY
How bad are the letters?

BARTLET
No worse than any of the stuff they intercept.

ZOEY
Except these are from White Supremists?

BARTLET
Yeah. Why did Butterfield and the guys meet with me? Apparently there's
National
Convention of some sort in Virginia. It was in the papers yesterday that you
and Charlie are going to some club opening this weekend.

ZOEY
You want me to cancel?

BARTLET
You don't have to cancel, but you can't bring Charlie.

ZOEY
[frowns] Okay.

BARTLET
You want me to tell him?

ZOEY
[looks down] We're meeting for lunch. I'll tell him.

BARTLET
You gotta tell him he truth Zoey. Don't make something up.

ZOEY
[laughs] He's not gonna like it.

BARTLET
You sure you don't want me to come?

ZOEY
Yeah.

Mrs. Landingham knocks and enters.

BARTLET
Okay.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
Mr. President...

BARTLET
Yeah?

MRS. LANDINGHAM
The Assistant Secretary of Treasury.

BARTLET
Okay. [to Zoey] You gotta go.

Zoey and Bartlet rise.

ZOEY
Hey, I'm sorry about Bernie Dahl.

BARTLET
I never really new him that well.

They walk to the door.

ZOEY
Is Ron Ehrlich gonna be the new Fed Chair?

BARTLET
I don't know. You want the job?

ZOEY
Yeah.

BARTLET
Can't have it. Know why?

ZOEY
Why?

BARTLET
Not enough math. Bye.

He kisses her on the cheek and she leaves.

CUT TO: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Josh and Toby sits across the table from the congressmen and their aides. Toby
slowly
dunks a teabag and looks bored.

CONGRESSMAN
Josh, we're Democrats. Since when do we like lower taxes?

JOSH
We don't. We like lower tariffs. Lower tariffs on everything from Indian
textiles,
to German cars to Chilean wines negotiated by our trade reps in Geneva with
130 other countries over the past 7 years. Global Free Trade Markets Access
Act now has cleared the President and we're very proud it's finally ready to
be voted on by the House.

TOBY
[stares at the teabag] Where it will win by the way by some 15 votes.

JOSH
[patiently] Thank you, Toby.

TOBY
Anyone eating that donut?

JOSH
[pause, to Toby] All yours. [To the Congressmen] Now, what happens when you
lower the
cost of something, Economists of every stripe, including the one in the Oval
Office,
say you that you get a more efficient allotment of economic resources. Now
that may
not sound like much to you and me but to an Economist that's a week in
St. Barts.

CONGRESSWOMAN
Josh, there's no reason to talk to us like were 12.

CONGRESSMAN 1
Josh, we're very concerned about the effect cheaper goods flowing into this
country will have on American Labor and American Manufacturing. We're
concerned
about the lack of environmental controls.

CONGRESSMAN 2
Concerns which are entirely reasonable.

TOBY
You're concerned about American labor and manufacturing?

CONGRESSMAN 1
Yeah.

TOBY
What kind of car do you drive?

CONGRESSMAN 1
Toyota.

TOBY
Then shut up.

Josh frowns and covers his face. The congressmen stare in shock at Toby.

CONGRESSMAN 1
Excuse me?

Josh rubs his eyes. Toby calmly drinks his tea.

JOSH
What Toby meant to say is we don't get to see you guys often...[smiles]
and it's a
crying shame.

C.J. knocks on the window. Josh looks over his shoulder at her. He turns
back to the
Congressmen.

JOSH
[smiles] Hey everybody, sit tight. We're just getting started. [gets up and
heads for
the door] Uh, think about what you'd like to eat for lunch.

TOBY
[slowly gets up, smiles] Also think about that we won and we're here still
courting
your vote for reasons passing understanding.

Josh walks back and takes him by the arm.

JOSH
Get out here.

They exit into the HALLWAY. C.J. waits as Josh backs out the door. Toby
follows.

JOSH
This... right here. This is why you have a reputation as a pain in the ass.

TOBY
I've cultivated that reputation.

JOSH
Could I get you to try harder in there?

C.J. stares at them.

TOBY
Sure, cause right now I'm not trying at all.

C.J.
Guys, I'm standing here. I don't know if you've....

JOSH
Yeah?

C.J.
The wire has a piece. It'll be picked up. 'Sources close to the First Lady
say that
she'...

TOBY
Ron Ehrlich?

C.J.
Yeah.

JOSH
Who are the sources?

C.J.
I don't know. Sam spoke to Lilly. She doesn't know a thing about it.

JOSH
Is it Lilly?

C.J.
Yeah.

Josh snickers.

TOBY
Mrs. Bartlet should slide in and step in the back door. 'Ron Ehrlich is an
old
friend but she supports whatever'...

C.J.
Yeah. She's not going to unless someone tells her to.

TOBY
[loudly] Well, that sounds an awful lot like your job, C.J.

C.J.
Well, I was just in there and he doesn't want me to handle the First Lady.

JOSH
Did he say he didn't want you to 'handle the First lady cause he didn't want
you to'
or did he say it like 'handle the First Lady but I'm not the one who told
you to?'

C.J.
That's what I don't know.

JOSH
You gotta learn the signs.

C.J.
I've got most of the signs.

JOSH
You don't have that one!

C.J.
I'm learning that one.

TOBY
Where's Sam?

C.J.
He went to the gym.

TOBY
Page Sam and tell him I want him to talk to Lilly again.

C.J.
What if the President meant it?

TOBY
[sighs] We're not handling Mrs. Bartlet. We're talking to her staff. Page
Sam.

C.J.
I know most of the signs.

TOBY
Go!

C.J. walks off.

JOSH
So what would you have done if the guy told you he drove and American car?

TOBY
Find some other way of humiliating him.

JOSH
You like winning, don't you?

TOBY
Saves you from having to say the word please.

JOSH
Let's go. [walks back in]

TOBY
Absolutely. [follows]

CUT TO: INT. GYM - DAY
Sam is lifting weights as his pager goes off. He seats the weights and sits
up,
banging his head on the bar.

SAM
Ow!

As he picks up his pager, Congresswoman BECKY REESEMAN walks over.

REESEMAN
You Alright?

SAM
Ah, Congresswoman...yes. I'm fine, thanks.

REESEMAN
I heard the clang and the ow. I figured it must be Sam Seaborn.

SAM
I'm just trying to get healthy.

REESEMAN
How's your head?

SAM
I'm fine.

REESEMAN
Listen, I actually came over here for a different reason.

SAM
[stands] How can I help you?

REESEMAN
Um... Can I talk to you over there for a second?

They walk over to a corner.

SAM
Congresswoman?

REESEMAN
'Becky's' fine.

SAM
[laughs] Okay.

REESEMAN
Where are you guys on the trade bill?

SAM
Josh and Toby say we're 15 votes up.

REESEMAN
Oh, yeah?

SAM
Yeah, we're meeting with some friends of your right now to try to run up
the score.

REESEMAN
Uh, I want you to know I'm talking to you right now as a courtesy.

SAM
Okay.

REESEMAN
There's no obligation for me to come to you.

SAM
Okay.

REESEMAN
Any my coming to you and telling you is not an invitation to try to talk me
out of it.
So I...

SAM
Becky, tell me you're not offering an amendment.

REESEMAN
I am.

SAM
Becky...

REESEMAN
Child Labor restrictions.

SAM
You can't.

REESEMAN
The First Lady blew the trumpet.

SAM
She didn't...

REESEMAN
Sam, she did it on television. Given my record I can't be left out of it.

SAM
You're not being left of anything.

REESEMAN
Sam, I'm talking to you as a courtesy.

SAM
This is why we fast tracked this to avoid this kind...

REESEMAN
I'm talking to you...

SAM
I understand....

REESEMAN
I'm talking to you as a courtesy...

SAM
This is gonna blow the vote outta the water. Joshua and Toby have a hard
nose count
that puts us over...

REESEMAN
I'm talking to you as a courtesy, Sam. I'm introducing the amendment
tonight. Josh
and Toby are just gonna have to count again. [looks at his forehead] You
should put
some ice on that head.

She wanders off leaving. Sam looks frustrated.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. PRESS ROOM - DAY
Danny Concannon is on the phone. Leo walks up.

DANNY
[into phone] ...Free Market Access Act. The GFTMAA.

LEO
Danny?

DANNY
Joanie, I'll call you back.

LEO
You don't have to get off.

DANNY
No problem. [hangs up]

LEO
Take a walk with me. I'm on my way out.

They walk through JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA.

DANNY
Say Leo, I noticed the market opened 320 points down.

LEO
We noticed that ourselves.

DANNY
You see it's rebounding.

LEO
Yes.

DANNY
Not very fast.

LEO
It'll be fine.

DANNY
The President needs to name a new Fed Chair.

LEO
We will.

DANNY
I got a half year's salary in technology stocks is what I'm saying.

LEO
I had a hunch.

DANNY
What do you need?

LEO
The President was wondering if you have a few minutes to spare at the end
of the day.

DANNY
[stops abruptly, confused] Yeah.

LEO
[looks around for Danny and turns back] It'll just be you. It'll be informal
and off
the record. They'll be a reception at five for the Michigan Women's Democratic
Caucus.
He'll step out for a few minutes.

Danny looks at Leo suspiciously.

LEO
What?

DANNY
Well it sounds like...

LEO
Like the place will be lousy with female Democrats?

DANNY
Yeah.

LEO
Yeah.

DANNY
Ok.

LEO
Thanks.

Leo leaves. Danny turns as spots C.J. entering the lobby.

DANNY
Hey.

C.J.
Hello, Daniel.

DANNY
How you doing?

C.J.
I don't have time to talk to you now.

DANNY
Okay.

Danny leaves. C.J. walks up to Sam as he enters the building with his gym
bag.

C.J.
Sam?

SAM
Yeah?

C.J.
I paged you.

SAM
Yeah. I got your page and thanks. I hit my head. Becky Reeseman came over. I've
got
to talk to Josh and Toby.

C.J.
I need you for a second first.

SAM
What is it? They stop.

C.J.
I mentioned the wire piece to the President.

SAM
What did he say?

C.J.
He said he doesn't want the First Lady handled.

SAM
Did he mean it or did he mean he wants you...

C.J.
[sighs] I don't know.

SAM
C.J....

C.J.
I don't have that sign.

SAM
You gotta pick up the signs.

C.J.
I've got most all of them.

SAM
Yeah well, it's an important one to learn.

C.J.
Toby thinks if you talk to Lilly Mays again...

SAM
Clarification.

C.J.
Staffer to Staffer. Gently nudge her in that direction.

SAM
Yeah, all right. Where are Josh and Toby?

C.J.
They're still in their meeting.

SAM
[walks off] Gotta learn the signs, C.J..

C.J.
I know! [leaves]

CUT TO: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
They're still sitting around that table.

CONGRESSMAN
Can you deny that the fact that you can buy a British made Range Rover has
hurt Ford
to some degree?

JOSH
No, but....

TOBY
I can.

JOSH
Toby... [sighs]

TOBY
I can deny it. Range Rover inspired Ford to design the Explorer. Which is
the best
selling vehicle in its class and Ford's most successful model in years.

Sam knocks on the door.

JOSH
Will you excuse us for a moment?

Josh and Toby get up to leave.

CONGRESSMAN 2
Are we keeping you two from something more important?

TOBY
Many... many things.

The Congressmen look in surprise as they exit. Out in the HALLWAY, Sam waits
outside
as Josh backs out the door again. Toby follows.

JOSH
I have to say if there's been improvement in your attitude, it's marginal.

TOBY
We're in hour number four, you understand.

SAM
Guys...

JOSH
Yeah?

TOBY
I thought you were at the gym.

SAM
I was. And then Becky Reeseman came over to talk to me. She made it very
clear it was
just a courtesy.

JOSH
What'd she say?

SAM
She's attaching...

TOBY
No!

SAM
She's attaching a Child Labor Amendment.

JOSH
To what?

TOBY
[sighs] To this.

JOSH
She can't!

SAM
She is.

JOSH
When?

SAM
Tonight.

JOSH
This is why we fast tracked it!

SAM
She's on ways and Means.

Josh groans and turns away.

TOBY
She was serious? This wasn't one of her funny jokes?

SAM
She was inspired by the First Lady. She thought this morning there were
trumpets and
she doesn't want to...

TOBY
There were trumpets?

SAM
The trumpets called...The trumpets sounded...

TOBY
What the hell goes on at that gym?

Josh turns back to face them.

SAM
She thinks the train is leaving the station and she wants to be out front
of it.

JOSH
Somebody's' got to talk to Mrs. Bartlet. Tell her to get Becky Reeseman to
back off.

TOBY
[mumbles] I refuse to relay these instructions.

JOSH
I'll talk to Lilly Mays.

SAM
I'll do it. I'm already going in there on the Ron Ehrlich thing.

JOSH
Okay.

SAM
If I'm gonna take a hit, I might as well take two. [walks off and turns back]

TOBY
Press upon her the following: It's taken 7 years to get the bill this
far. It's
locked down. Add this amendment and now I've got to go back in there and be
nice
to these people!

SAM
[nods] Yeah. [walks down the hall]

JOSH
[loudly] Bring this one home, Sam.

Sam pumps his fist in the air. Toby and Josh turn back to the Roosevelt Room.

JOSH
[sighs] After you.

TOBY
After you.

Josh looks at Toby suspiciously then enters. Toby follows.

CUT TO: INT. DINER - DAY
Zoey and Charlie sit in a booth eating lunch. Gina sits at the counter
nearby.

ZOEY
It's called A Hundred...

GINA
[into cuff mic] I'll let you know when we're back on campus.
[looks over at Zoey and Charlie]

CHARLIE
...publishing.

ZOEY
Yeah.

CHARLIE
I just read a review.

ZOEY
It's really great! It begins in the summer of 1900 when my grandmother was
a child.
[looks down at a notebook]

CHARLIE
And I see you took notes. [takes the notebook]

ZOEY
You know why?

CHARLIE
Cause you're totally anal?

ZOEY
No... [smiles] yes.

CHARLIE
[reading] One hundred years ago the average life expectancy in the United
States
was 47?

ZOEY
Only 14% of the homes in this country had a bathtub.

CHARLIE
[reading] 8% of the names had a telephone.

ZOEY
More than 95% of all births took place at home.

CHARLIE
[reading] 90% of physicians had no college education. [smiles] This is a
fun lunch,
Zoey. We've got a little time travel thing going on.

ZOEY
[laughs] You really want some of my egg salad, don't you?

CHARLIE
I really do.

Zoey laughs and glances out the window. She looks back at Charlie nervously.

ZOEY
Do you have to get back to the office?

CHARLIE
I've got a few minutes.

Zoey nods after a moment.

ZOEY
I need to talk to you about Friday night.

CHARLIE
I took back the suit.

ZOEY
Charlie, I...

CHARLIE
I liked it, you didn't. That's ok. I'm here for you. I dress for you.

ZOEY
Listen...

CHARLIE
I picked pick up a powdered blue tuxedo with ruffles.

ZOEY
Listen to me.

CHARLIE
...and everything. I'm kidding about the tuxedo.

ZOEY
Listen to me. We can't go Friday night.

CHARLIE
That's ok. [pause] Why not?

ZOEY
[pause] Charlie, you've been getting death threats.

CHARLIE
From...

ZOEY
Yeah.

CHARLIE
'Cause of you.

ZOEY
Because of me and you, yeah.

Charlie looks hurt.

ZOEY
There's gonna be some kind of meeting or convention this weekend and...
[glances at Gina] ...Secret Service just doesn't think...

GINA
[walks over] We've tried to secure the place Charlie. [sits down next to Zoey]
We don't like it. Two many dark corners, back alleys doorways, windows. There's

locks, a cellar. We can't secure the west end of the street.

CHARLIE
[angry] I don't give a damn.

ZOEY
Charlie....

CHARLIE
[angry] I don't give a damn! I bought a new suit. In fact, I've bought two
now.

ZOEY
Charlie, we can't go.

CHARLIE
Okay. [looks down at the notebook] Hey, look. It says here that a 100 years
ago a black
guy couldn't show up to a club opening with a white girl for fear he'd be
killed.

Zoey stares out the window, upset.

ZOEY
[to Gina] I have to go to the ladies room.

Gina gets out and Zoey slides out.

GINA
[into cuff mic] Bookbag's up. [sits back down after Zoey leaves]

CHARLIE
You know, if nothing else...I think if either one of us is gonna be pissed
it ought
to be me.

GINA
You're looking at the girl whose job it is to jump in front of a bullet. I
like it
when she stays in the dorm and watches videos.

CHARLIE
[digs in his pockets] I gotta go. Is it all right to go? [throws down some
money,
grabs his coat and slides out]

GINA
Hey, come on! Tell her yourself.

CHARLIE
I can't take this! [leaves]

CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Sam passes the staffer in the hall.

SAM
Hey there.

STAFFER
Hi.

They stop.

SAM
Is Lilly in? She's expecting me.

STAFFER
You can go on in.

Sam walks into LILLY'S OFFICE. Abbey leans against Lilly's desk. Sam looks
surprised.

ABBEY
Hello, Sam.

SAM
Mrs. Bartlet.

ABBEY
Lilly tells me we have a problem.

SAM
Yes, ma'am.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. LILLY'S OFFICE - DAY
Sam and Abbey face each other.

ABBEY
It's the tactics, Sam...

SAM
Mrs. Bartlet....

ABBEY
The strategizing. And I don't understand because we used to be very
close. And
now it seems to me I have a large and energetic staff who main function seems
to be waging war with your staff. Is that accurate?

SAM
No ma'am. I don't think it is.

ABBEY
We're thoroughly professional.

SAM
No ma'am, I don't think you are.

ABBEY
I beg your pardon?

SAM
I like Lilly Mays. I think she's top notch, you know that. You know that it
was hard
for us to give her up.

ABBEY
Yes?

SAM
I think you're prone to amateur mistakes.

ABBEY
[stiffly] So, my staff is professional, just not me.

SAM
Mrs. Bartlet, you can't go on national television and decide to have a kid
sit
next to you on a whim. You gotta vet this stuff through my office.

ABBEY
What was the problem with the interview?

SAM
There was nothing wrong with the interview except it looked like you
discovered
there was a child labor problem because a 14-year-old boy named Jeffery just
told you about it this morning.

ABBEY
I do not believe that is true.

SAM
And I don't not believe that exercise is gonna make me any healthier. But I
didn't go to medical school, you did. You say so and I go to the gym.

ABBEY
Sam...

SAM
Mrs. Bartlet, I say this with all respect but you have to talk to Becky
Reeseman
and tell her not to offer that amendment tonight.

ABBEY
So, I will.

SAM
[surprised] Excuse me?

ABBEY
I said... I will.

SAM
[nods] Okay.

ABBEY
Is there anything else?

SAM
No, ma'am.

ABBEY
Okay. [leaves]

SAM
[quietly] Thank you, ma'am. [exits]

CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Danny waits in a chair. Charlie shuffles through papers. Mrs. Landingham
looks at
Danny then goes back to her work.

DANNY
How you doing. Mrs. Landingham?

MRS. LANDINGHAM
[smiles] Fine. Thank you, Danny.

DANNY
[smiles] You keep glancing over like you're afraid I'm gonna steal something.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
[smiles] No, I'm just not used to having members of the print media in here.

DANNY
[smiles] I'll try not to get ink on the furniture.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
[smiles sweetly] Aw Danny. and I was just about to offer you a cookie.

DANNY
And now?

MRS. LANDINGHAM
No. [grabs some folders and stands up.] Charlie, I'll be back in a few
minutes.

Abbey enters from the Colonnade. Danny stands.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
Good evening, Mrs. Bartlet. [leaves]

DANNY
Good evening, ma'am.

ABBEY
Hello! Are you covering the event?

DANNY
The Many Women of Michigan?

ABBEY
The Michigan Women's Democratic Caucus?

DANNY
Ah.

ABBEY
[smiles] Yes.

DANNY
No. Actually, I'm here to see the President.

ABBEY
[surprised] Really?

DANNY
Yes.

ABBEY
[pause] Okay.

She plasters on a fake smile and heads towards the Mural Room. Danny glances
at
Charlie and sits back down.

DANNY
So, what's up?

CHARLIE
Not too much.

DANNY
I saw you guys are going to the opening on Friday.

CHARLIE
No.

DANNY
No?

CHARLIE
Security.

DANNY
Is Zoey bothered?

CHARLIE
You know, Danny, but I say it here and 10 million people read about tomorrow.

DANNY
Thanks for the boost in my circulation but I'm actually off the record up
here.

CHARLIE
[looks down] It's not going to work.

DANNY
What's not going to work?

CHARLIE
You know what I'm talking about.

DANNY
You and Zoey?

CHARLIE
Yeah.

DANNY
Why?

CHARLIE
[angry] Look, I do what I do...I go where I go. If it's a problem for the
Secret
Service that I'm black...

DANNY
Whoa....

CHARLIE
...then that's the way it is. But she shouldn't expect candy and flowers,
you know
what I mean?

DANNY
[gets up] I know what you're saying. But I don't' think the problem is you're
black.
I think the problem is you're stupid.

CHARLIE
Well, thanks, Danny. You picked me right up.

DANNY
You bet. Listen, the Hardy Boys in the letters they're talking about, they
may be
heavily armed but I wouldn't put a lot of money on their marksmanship. One
of these
days they're gonna miss her and hit me. Two thousand marriage proposals,
2,000 death
threats, a dozen bodyguards. Everyone wants to get close. Everyone wants a
thing.
Plus, and I say this standing fifteen feet from the Oval Office, life with
father
couldn't have been a real company picnic, you know. If it was me, just for
now, I'd
make sure I was the one guy in her life who was hassle free. That's just me.

Charlie stands as Bartlet opens the door to the Oval Office and steps in.

BARTLET
Danny...

DANNY
Yes, sir.

Bartlet smiles and motions for Danny to follow him. He slaps Danny on the
arm and
escorts him into THE OVAL OFFICE. Leo is sitting on the couch.

BARTLET
Please. [motions to the couch]

LEO
Hey, Danny.

DANNY
Good evening, Leo.

BARTLET
Yes.

Danny and Bartlet sit down.

LEO
I'd just like to say right off the bat that I strongly urged the President
not
to have this conversation. So I'm just a guy sitting here.

BARTLET
[smiles] We note with surprise your lack of conviction, Leo.

LEO
[grimly] Note it well, Sir.

Danny returns Bartlet's smile. It grows awkward.

BARTLET
I miss our late night talks, Danny.

DANNY
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
[smiles warmly] Out there in the campaign trail.... Ames,
Iowa...Tulsa... Skokie,
Center City, Tallahassee, Albany...San Antonio, Jasper, Wyoming.

DANNY
[smiles] Yes, sir.

BARTLET
[nods and smiles] We got very close.

DANNY
I'm flattered by that, sir.

BARTLET
You covered the First Lady as well.

DANNY
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
You literally wrote the book on my wife.

DANNY
Yes, sir. [laughs]

BARTLET
Once again I want to emphasize the strong personal bond we built on the
campaign...

LEO
[grimaces] Oh, for God's sake.

DANNY
Mr. President, did you call me in to ask me if I knew who the sources are
close to
the First Lady?

BARTLET
[shifts uncomfortably] Well, I was... going to... [looks at Leo] ...in
a... proper...
gentlemanly...

LEO
Even Byzantine...

BARTLET
...way... [glares at Leo]

DANNY
[shakes head] No... no... no.

BARTLET
Danny.

DANNY
No... no, sir.

BARTLET
You must save me from having this conversation with my wife.

DANNY
Mr. President...

BARTLET
Or at least make it seem like I'm better armed than I evidently am.

DANNY
I'm sorry, Mr. President.

BARTLET
[scowls] Danny...

DANNY
I'd be revealing someone else's source.

BARTLET
We're off the record.

DANNY
Also, I'd get in trouble with the First Lady!

BARTLET
Welcome to the club, Danny. We had some jackets made.

LEO
Let him go.

BARTLET
[sighs and smiles] Albany...Tulsa, Wichita. [laughs] I'm not kidding...a
personal
bond here, Danny.

DANNY
Sir, if makes you feel any better I just gave some very sage dating advice
to Charlie
Young.

BARTLET
[nervously] You're coaching my Personal Aide on how to best score with my
daughter?
Yes, Danny, that does make me feel better.

DANNY
Well, anything I can do to help, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Go away.

DANNY
Thank you, Mr. President.

LEO
Thanks, Danny.

Danny leaves.

CUT TO: INT. MURAL ROOM - NIGHT
The room is crowded with groups of women talking. Josh and Donna stand among
the crowd.
Donna is drinking tea. Josh looks bored.

DONNA
It's an interesting book.

JOSH
The Hundred Years ago thing?

DONNA
Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstress were apt become
sexually
aroused by the steady rhythm of foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide,
which
was thought to diminish a woman' sexual desires into their drinking water.

JOSH
Why would anyone want to diminish a woman's sexual desires?

DONNA
We can get out of hand.

Josh looks surprised. They watch as Abbey enters.

JOSH
Here we go.

She walks over to a group of women, including Becky Reeseman.

ABBEY
Excuse me.

WOMAN
Good evening.

ABBEY
Would you mind if I had a word with Congresswoman Reeseman?

WOMAN
Well, sure!

REESEMAN
I'll find you later.

The other women leave.

REESEMAN
[to Abbey] That's a beautiful suit.

ABBEY
Becky, did you decide to run for the Senate and not tell me?

REESEMAN
[surprised] Abbey... [laughs nervously]

ABBEY
Cause you know Jed and I will be there with whatever you need.

REESEMAN
I know the amendment comes as a bit of a surprise but...

ABBEY
Your Child Labor amendment is a poison pill. It will kill the GFTMAA is the
following
way: The Republican leadership will allow their guys to wear the black hats
and they'll
be released from a party line vote. This will surprised but not shock the
Democratic
leadership because they've seen it before. The vote will pass the House
cause that's
how sure they are that it will never pass the Senate and what's more you
know it.

REESEMAN
I felt like the train was leaving the station, Abbey.

ABBEY
When the trains leaving the station you'll know that too.

REESEMAN
There is a Senate seat open you know.

ABBEY
And I'm sure the President will do what he can for you.

REESEMAN
I've heard that before, Abbey.

ABBEY
We're not in the back of Steve's boat now, Becky. Don't bargain with me here.

REESEMAN
I put this amendment back in my pocket like you told me to and I'm going to
have
problems of my own.

ABBEY
How many people know?

REESEMAN
You, Steve, my staff, I'm sure by now the President's staff...

ABBEY
Then you're fine.

REESEMAN
Wait. Excuse me. Am I supposed to trust the President's staff?

ABBEY
Yes. Are we done?

REESEMAN
[pause] Yes.

ABBEY
Thank you.

Reeseman watches her leave.

CUT TO: INT. OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
Leo sits in a chair reading from the "Hundred Years" book to Bartlet.

BARTLET
The rhythm of the sewing machine petals?

LEO
That's what it says. [reading] "Marijuana, heroin, morphine were all available
over
the counter in drug stores. According to one Pharmacist, heroin clears the
completion,
gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels and is in fact
the perfect
guardian of health." Now they tell me.

Bartlet laughs. Mrs. Landingham knocks and enters.

MRS. LANDINGHAM
Mr. President...

LEO
[jumps to his feet] I'm outta here.

BARTLET
Stay.

LEO
Right.

BARTLET
Chicken.

Bartlet looks at his watch as Leo quickly leaves. Bartlet looks nervous. Abbey
enters.

ABBEY
[tight smile] Hello.

BARTLET
Hello.

ABBEY
Hello, pumpkin.

Mrs. Landingham closes the door. Abbey drops her suit coat over the back of
a chair.

BARTLET
Abbey?

ABBEY
Hello, gumdrop.

BARTLET
[nervously] Listen... [quickly walks to the door and closes it]

ABBEY
[tight smile] Sam Seaborn came to see my Chief of Staff today. In fact,
he did it twice.

BARTLET
Well, your Chief of Staff is a very attractive woman. Maybe he was, you
know...

ABBEY
Jed...

BARTLET
Abbey, I told C.J. specifically...

ABBEY
Then C.J. got the signal wrong.

BARTLET
[contrite] No, she didn't.

ABBEY
What?

BARTLET
She didn't get the signal wrong. I wanted her to send someone.

ABBEY
Are you telling me...

BARTLET
This wire thing is a problem for me. The kid on TV was a mistake. And the
amendment,
from Becky Reeseman...

ABBEY
I just killed it.

BARTLET
...will bring down a trade bill that's been worked on for years.

ABBEY
I said I just killed it.

BARTLET
[nods] Fine.

ABBEY
Jed, we share a bed. Why didn't you just come to me?

BARTLET
I staffed it out to C.J..

ABBEY
[angry] You staffed it out.

BARTLET
That's right.

ABBEY
[angry] You don't staff me out.

Bartlet paces, puts his hand on his head.

ABBEY
[angry] You don't give C.J. signals. You don't send Sam. And you don't bring
Danny
Concannon up here. [loudly] Don't handle me, Jed!

BARTLET
[yells, bangs on the desk] Then don't play me, Abbey! Don't work me! A lot
of people
around here think it was Lilly Mays, who planted you have a preference for
Ron Erlich!

ABBEY
It wasn't Lilly Mays.

BARTLET
[loudly] I know it wasn't Lilly Mays. It was you!

ABBEY
[angry] Yes!

BARTLET
[angry] Yes!

ABBEY
Yes! And I'm sorry about that, but I wanted Ron to know that he had my
support.

BARTLET
[angry] Well you put me in a bit of a spot there, Abigail. I name Ron Erlich
now,
which I was going to do anyway, and it makes me look like I'm taking
instructions
from my wife!

ABBEY
[loudly] Still it was wrong!

BARTLET
Are you talking about you or me?

ABBEY
[loudly] I'm talking about you. I'm talking about you sending people to
me. And I tell
you what else I'm talking about. I'm talking about you waiting a day to name
a new fed
chair, because thirty years ago the new fed chair was my boyfriend for six
months.

BARTLET
[sternly] I'm talking about sending me messages through the press, and
staking out
agendas on morning shows. We are not going to be these people, Abbey. I'm
not gonna
do it! [loudly] I'll walk up to the hill right now, and I will give the
Speaker of
the House my resignation.

ABBEY
The house isn't in session.

BARTLET
[yelling] Do you want to see me get on the phone and put it in session?!

ABBEY
[clipped] Don't raise your voice to me!

BARTLET
[yelling] It was nine months, Abbey. Not six months. And I waited a day on
Skippy,
because the fed chair is a fairly important position, and I wanted to make
damn
sure my decision was right.

ABBEY
[yelling] You already made your decision!

BARTLET
How the hell do you know?

ABBEY
[yelling] You just said so. "I name Ron Erlich now, which I was gonna do
anyway. It looks like I'm taking instructions from... my... wife!"

BARTLET
Yes.

ABBEY
Yes.

BARTLET
Yes.

Bartlet paces as they both cool off.

ABBEY
Okay. So just ease up on the high ground.

BARTLET
On that point I concede the high ground.

ABBEY
Then I concede I was wrong about the thing.

BARTLET
Good.

ABBEY
However...

BARTLET
No, no however. Just be wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be
wrong, and
get used to it.

ABBEY
However...

BARTLET
Nine months, Abbey.

ABBEY
However...

BARTLET
Yes?

ABBEY
I'm still gonna kick your ass on child labor.

BARTLET
Abbey, please.

ABBEY
Jed, if it was one of our girls in that factory, you'd send in the Marines.

BARTLET
[looks thoughtful and nods] Yeah.

ABBEY
[quietly] Yeah.

BARTLET
Okay. [pause] We just had our first Oval Office fight.

ABBEY
[sighs] Yeah.

Abbey turns and leans on the edge of his desk. Bartlet puts his hands in
his pockets
and walks around the desk.

BARTLET
Did you talk to Zoey today? [leans next to her, avoiding her gaze]

ABBEY
She went back to her dorm. She and Charlie had a fight cause the Service
doesn't
want them to show up at this thing together. [gazes at him]

BARTLET
Maybe she'll be so traumatized by this experience, that she'll never date
another
boy again.

ABBEY
Well, he left here a little while ago and...I'd say that in about an hour
the lights
will be off, there'll be a sock on the doorknob, and who...

BARTLET
Don't finish that sentence, I'm a man of questionable health. [glances at
her sideways]
The Michigan women are waiting for me.

ABBEY
Okay.

Abbey smiles as he puts his arm around her shoulders and they walk towards
the door. He drops her jacket around her shoulders and they exit.

DISSOLVE TO: INT. DORM HALLWAY - NIGHT
Charlie walks up the crowded hallway with flowers. He stops and Zoey's door
and knocks.
While he waits, he turns and looks at Gina in the dorm room across the
hall. She looks
up at him from the book she's reading. Zoey answers her door and glares at
Charlie.

CHARLIE
[quietly] Hi.

ZOEY
[coldly] Yes?

CHARLIE
I came to apologize.

ZOEY
You left me sitting in a restaurant.

CHARLIE
I feel bad about that.

ZOEY
Are there other things to feel bad about too?

CHARLIE
Yes.

ZOEY
Name them, please.

CHARLIE
I...

Gina smiles at them.

CHARLIE
Off the top of my head I wouldn't be able to give you a comprehensive
list. Just
suffice it to say that anything I've done to upset you even if it exists in
your
kind of confused little mind, I really apologize for.

ZOEY
[smiles and steps towards him] What did you bring me?

CHARLIE
I brought you flowers. [hands her the flowers]

ZOEY
Oh, I can see that. What else?

CHARLIE
A book. [hands her a book]

ZOEY
[reading] Introduction to Advanced Trigonometry.

Gina laughs and puts down her book.

CHARLIE
Your father made me pick it up.

ZOEY
What else?

CHARLIE
Popcorn.

ZOEY
Why the popcorn?

CHARLIE
'Cause I brought videos.

ZOEY
Get in here.

Zoey smiles at him. Charlie smiles at Gina as Zoey pulls him inside and
closes the door.
Gina exits her room.

GINA
[into cuff mic] Bookbag is in for the night.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John
Wells
Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement
is intended.

Episode 1.17 -- 'The White House Pro-Am'
Original Airdate: March 22, 2000, 9:00 PM EST

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