The Kashmir border powderkeg becomes more explosive when the Indian army invades Pakistani-held territory, making the threat of a nuclear confrontation frighteningly real to President Bartlet (Martin Sheen), who calls in Lord Marbury (Roger Rees), an eccentric British diplomat with ties to both warring nations — and a weakness for booze. An angry Josh (Bradley Whitford) is subpoenaed to testify as the investigation into substance abuse among White House staffers grinds on towards its inevitable target: chief of staff Leo McGarry (John Spencer). Mandy (Moira Kelly) floats a trial balloon among the staff to test their reaction to her notion of representing a liberal Republican. The President is surprised when Charlie (Dule Hill) asks him if he can date his willing daughter Zoey (Elisabeth Moss).
THE WEST WING 'LORD JOHN MARBURY' WRITTEN BY: AARON SORKIN DIRECTED BY: KEVIN RODNEY SULLIVAN TEASER FADE IN: INT. NATIONAL RECONNAISSANCE CENTER - WASHINGTON NAVY YARD - NIGHT A radar officer is monitoring a radar station. OFFICER Jack. Another officer, JACK, comes over to look at the screen. OFFICER [cont.] Last pass with the CAGE satellite. JACK How old is this? OFFICER About twenty minutes. JACK Go to X-10 inside the grid. OFFICER [zooms in on a section of the grid] Those are two CVEs and four destroyers. JACK Let's get some help. CUT TO: INT. THE PENTAGON - NIGHT Two men, one in uniform and one not, are talking. Another uniformed officer enters. ARMY GUY 1 [entering] So far we can identify elements of the Northern, Central, and Western command armies. They all appear to be front-line divisions. We're working up divisional ID. ARMY GUY 2 What about the navy? ARMY GUY 1 We're getting e-lint. Two CVEs, four destroyers - ARMY GUY 2 Where they heading? ARMY GUY 1 Pakistan. ARMY GUY 3 I'm sold. Let's brief the COs. ARMY GUY 2 I'll get on the phone with the White House. He goes to the phone and starts dialing as the other two leave. CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT Josh and Donna leave his office and walk down the hallway. JOSH You'll like it. DONNA It doesn't sound like I'll like it. JOSH Caddying? DONNA Yeah. JOSH It's great! DONNA Don't I just lug your golf clubs around? JOSH Well, it's good exercise. DONNA Of course it's good exercise, I'm lugging your golf clubs around. JOSH You'll be doing more than that, Donna. You'll be reading the greens, you'll be helping with club selection. WHITE HOUSE GUARD [OS] Here he is now. JOSH Who, me? They turn to the NORTHWEST LOBBY. SUBPOENA MAN Joshua Lyman? JOSH Oh, man. SUBPOENA MAN Are you Joshua Lyman? JOSH Is this Claypool again? SUBPOENA MAN Mr. Lyman, you're being served with a subpoena to give deposi... JOSH [to guard] Why do you let him in the building? SUBPOENA MAN Sir, if you'll just sign as to show proof of- JOSH Gimme that. [signing the paper on Donna's back] This is like the 43rd time -- This is Freedom Watch, right? SUBPOENA MAN Yes sir. JOSH Yeah, you guys are real patriots. SUBPOENA MAN I hope this hasn't inconvenienced you too much. JOSH [handing back the signed paper] Being subpoenaed? No. Why would that inconvenience me? SUBPOENA MAN [as he leaves] Have a good day, sir. JOSH Thank you. Drop dead. [to Donna] It's what I do now. I'm a professional hostile witness. DONNA Would I get to drive the cart? They go through a door into a HALLWAY. JOSH No carts. DONNA You don't use a cart? JOSH No. Real golfers don't use carts. DONNA Don't they also carry their own clubs? JOSH No. DONNA Would you pay me extra? JOSH No. DONNA You play in the winter? JOSH I would wait until spring, but I'd want you to start practicing with that bag right away. Donna stops, then veers off. Josh turns to walk into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. Mrs. Landingham is at her desk when Josh enters. JOSH Good evening, Mrs. Landingham. MRS. LANDINGHAM How are you, Josh? JOSH I've been subpoenaed. MRS. LANDINGHAM I'm sorry, dear. Would you like a cookie? JOSH [taking one] Yes, thanks. The President asked me to come by. MRS. LANDINGHAM The President just left with Leo. JOSH Where'd they go? MRS. LANDINGHAM The Situation Room. Josh puts the cookie back in the jar and walks out. CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - NIGHT Military and Intelligence staff are seated around the table. They all start to rise as Bartlet and Leo enter. BARTLET Keep your seats. [beat, they all sit] Admiral Fitzwallace? Admiral Fitzwallace comes to the table, passing a staffer who is setting a clock to Kashmir time. FITZWALLACE [sits] Mr. President, twenty-five minutes ago, the Indian army launched an invasion along the Kashmir cease-fire line, into Pakistan-held Kashmir territory. BARTLET Is it clear what India's objective is? FITZWALLACE No sir. BARTLET When you say 'the Indian army,' what are we talking about? FITZWALLACE Sir? BARTLET Five guys in a Humvee? What? FITZWALLACE Mitch? MITCH Sir, they committed the 4th motorized infantry division, the 9th and 26th infantry divisions, and two other armored brigades, as well as four CVEs and two destroyers. Bartlet is now reading from a paper that's been handed to him. LEO All told? FITZWALLACE Approximately 300,000 troops, sir. BARTLET [looking up] In the last twenty-five minutes? FITZWALLACE Yes sir. BARTLET 300,000 is an awfully large piece of troop movement to have been on a whim. FITZWALLACE Yes sir. BARTLET This was long planned. FITZWALLACE Yes sir. BARTLET All I'm trying to do right now? I'm trying to avoid making eye contact with the CIA Director. CIA DIRECTOR Mr. President... BARTLET 300,000 troops? I can't move my motorcade from K Street to Connecticut without it showing up on a weather satellite. CIA DIRECTOR We dropped the ball, Sir. BARTLET Pick it up again, would you please? CIA DIRECTOR Yes sir. BARTLET Any chance this is an exercise? FITZWALLACE No sir. BARTLET A threat gesture? FITZWALLACE Possibly. BARTLET Any nuclear activity? FITZWALLACE We don't know sir. BARTLET Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, that's probably not important information. CIA DIRECTOR We've obviously ordered intense surveillance. LEO How intense? CIA DIRECTOR The nearest orbiting satellites have been diverted to the area. The KH Super Platform has been tasked into stationary orbit over the Northern subcontinent. LEO How long till it's on station? FITZWALLACE Six hours, sir. BARTLET All right. I'm ordering the Crisis Task Force activated, and I want you to prepare to give me a national security briefing. Thank you. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES. END TEASER * * * ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT Toby and Sam are walking quickly along the outside corridor toward the President's office. SAM What's the ambassador's name? TOBY Which ambassador? SAM The Pakistani ambassador. TOBY You're saying our guy in Pakistan, or their guy here? SAM Our guy in Pakistan. TOBY We haven't appointed one yet. SAM You're kidding. They go through the door into the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. TOBY [to Sam] Nope. CHARLIE Hey, Toby. TOBY Hey Charlie. CHARLIE Sam. SAM Charlie. MRS. LANDINGHAM Good evening, Sam. Good evening, Toby. TOBY Good evening, Mrs. Landingham. SAM [to Toby] It's been over a year. TOBY What are you talking to me for? SAM We have no one in Pakistan? TOBY That's right. SAM Maybe that's why they got invaded. TOBY Yeah. They go into THE OVAL OFFICE. Bartlet, Josh and Leo are already present. LEO The Pakistanis have about 20,000 mountain terrain troops at the frontier command along the Northern front, and four divisions at the 10th corps along the Eastern front. JOSH All this happened without the CIA knowing about it? BARTLET I've already had words. TOBY, the U.N. Security Council is meeting in an emergency session to try to affect a cease-fire. TOBY Well, I feel better already, Mr. President. SAM How could we not have an ambassador in Pakistan? BARTLET We were getting to it. TOBY How could the CIA miss 300,000 armed people walking all over- BARTLET They didn't exactly miss them. In fact, they've got a very good photo now. TOBY Yeah, but the idea is to spot them before they cross the border, right? BARTLET Yeah. TOBY Oops. JOSH For the moment we're just talking about conventional weapons, right? BARTLET Toby, how much do you know about India and Pakistan? TOBY I know that any war between these two countries that begins with conventional weapons isn't gonna end that way. LEO Wanna take care of briefing the Hill? JOSH Yeah. C.J. [enters] Good evening. BARTLET Hello. C.J. I'm sorry. Charlie and Mrs. Landingham stepped away. Should I go back and wait in the... LEO Uh, no, we were just breaking up. C.J. Can I tell the room there's a full lid? LEO Yeah. [looks at Bartlet, who nods] C.J. Okay. I'll send 'em home. BARTLET Thanks, C.J. C.J. Thank you, Mr. President. [exits] LEO [to Toby] I'll brief her in the morning. TOBY Yeah. CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Charlie is typing at the computer. Zoey enters. ZOEY Hey, Charlie. CHARLIE Hey. ZOEY How ya doin'? CHARLIE [standing] Good. ZOEY Is he in? CHARLIE I'll tell him you're here. ZOEY Nah, that's okay. CHARLIE He'll want to know you're here. ZOEY I'll just wait. CHARLIE Okay. ZOEY So, Charlie, do you ever get a night off? CHARLIE No, actually. ZOEY That's too bad. CHARLIE No, it's all right. ZOEY No, I meant 'cause it'd be cool to go out or something. CHARLIE Yeah. [pause] I'm sorry, with me? ZOEY Charlie, you know you don't have to stand up the whole time I'm in a room. CHARLIE Yeah. I don't know why I do that. [sits] Josh and Sam are coming out of the Oval Office. JOSH Hi Zoey. BARTLET [OS] Is that Zoey? ZOEY [to Charlie] Anyway, too bad. CHARLIE Yeah. SAM Zoey. Sam and Josh leave, and Zoey goes into the Oval Office. Charlie looks thoughtful. CUT TO: INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Josh and Sam are walking back to their offices. JOSH I've been subpoenaed. SAM By Claypool? JOSH Under the Freedom of Information Act. It's reported that I was running the internal investigation after Lillienfield accused us all of being on drugs. SAM Well, not all of us, Josh. Just one in three. JOSH Right. SAM So Claypool's suing you for the paperwork? JOSH I'm being deposed at lunch tomorrow. SAM Who you bringing? JOSH I'm not bringing anyone. SAM Josh. JOSH It's a non-event. SAM You should bring a lawyer. JOSH I am a lawyer. SAM Yeah. Seriously, you should bring a real lawyer. JOSH Thanks for the pep talk. SAM No sweat. MANDY [catches up] Joshua. JOSH Madeline. MANDY What's up? JOSH Not too much. MANDY We're gonna look good in California. JOSH I'm gonna look pale. MANDY I meant the President. JOSH I know. I'm just sayin'. [goes into his office] MANDY Sam, could I talk to you for a second? SAM Yeah. MANDY In your office? SAM Yeah. MANDY Thanks. They walk into SAM'S OFFICE. SAM What's up? MANDY I'm thinking of taking on a new client and I think it might be a problem for Josh and Toby and I was hoping that maybe you could help smooth the way. SAM Who? MANDY Hmm? SAM Who's the client? MANDY Mike Brace. Sam starts to laugh. MANDY Sam. SAM You're serious? MANDY Yes. SAM Mike Brace is a Republican. MANDY You think I don't know that? SAM You think Josh and Toby might have a problem with that? MANDY Sam, he's moderate-to-liberal, he's good on education, he's good on women's rights... SAM And he's a Republican. MANDY He came to me. SAM That's understandable. MANDY He sought me out. SAM You're very good. We'd come to you too. MANDY Yes. SAM In fact, we did. MANDY Yes. And I'm coming to you now. SAM To get me to help you convince Josh and Toby to let you work for a Republican. MANDY Yes. SAM [sitting down at his desk] This is just my lucky day. MANDY Sam, I think you are the one senior guy here who is more interested in getting things done than beating the other... SAM That's not true, Mandy. Josh and Toby are just as committed... MANDY Not lately. SAM I disagree. MANDY The banking bill, the land-use rider, assault weapons? You like Mike Brace. SAM Mandy. MANDY I know. SAM This is going to be an impossible sell. MANDY It shouldn't be. SAM But it will be. MANDY I know. SAM I admire your pluck. MANDY I'm sorry, what part of me do you admire? SAM Your pluck. Your gumption. MANDY Thank you. SAM You're welcome. MANDY So you're going to talk to Josh and Toby? SAM You're gonna owe me a big favor. MANDY [going to the door] Sam. SAM All right, we'll be even. MANDY Sam! SAM All right, I'll do this and many more favors for you and we'll be even. MANDY Thank you. [leaves] CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM - NIGHT Several reporters are present. C.J. enters and goes to the podium. C.J. Hi. We're gonna have a briefing by the Treasury Department on the market adjustment... REPORTER Market adjustment? C.J. That's what we've been asked to call it. That's going to be nine tomorrow morning. With that, the lid is full, you can all go home. REPORTERS C.J.! Toby has entered and is standing at the back of the room. C.J. Bruce? BRUCE I've got a source at the Pentagon who says in the last few hours there's been massive troop movement on the Kashmir border. C.J. In the last few hours? BRUCE Yeah. C.J. I think you need to get a new source at the Pentagon, Bruce. BRUCE There's nothing to it? C.J. What kind of troop movement? BRUCE Something like 300,000 troops and a few warships? C.J. 300,000 troops? BRUCE Yeah. C.J. I think someone's havin' a little fun with you, Bruce. BRUCE You sure? C.J. I was just in the Oval Office ten minutes ago. BRUCE Okay. C.J. Have a good night, everybody. The reporters exit. CLOSE UP on Toby. CUT TO: EXT./EST. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY CUT TO: INT. THE SITUATION ROOM - DAY Bartlet, Leo, and other Military and Intelligence staff are seated around the table. Fitzwallace is at the map projected on the wall. FITZWALLACE Sir, already intense fighting has occurred between Indian troops and Pakistani border garrisons. The cease-fire line's been breached in two thrusts, with five divisions invading the area north of Kargil, and a two-corps-sized force that's crossed west into Azhad. BARTLET Bobby? BOBBY In the past hour, Prime Minister Nohammed has spoken on television, saying that [reading from a paper] 'after enduring endless provocations and incessant acts of thuggery by the criminal gang running Pakistan, India's forbearance has been exhausted. In the name of peace, India is acting to put an end to Pakistan's outlaw aggression once and for all.' LEO And Pakistan? INTELLIGENCE GUY They're condemning India's unlawful aggression and pledging all-out resistance. BARTLET Well, we've got ourselves a ballgame. FITZWALLACE Yes sir. LEO When do we get the nuclear briefing? INTELLIGENCE GUY This afternoon, 1500. BARTLET 3:00. INTELLIGENCE GUY Yes sir. BARTLET Okay. Thank you. They all rise and thank the President. CUT TO: INT. CORRIDOR - DAY Toby and Donna are walking down the hall. DONNA -- through the Freedom of Information Act. TOBY What kind of information are they looking for? DONNA He has information about the investigation. TOBY It wasn't an investigation. DONNA I'm sure Josh'll mention that. TOBY Did he bring a lawyer? DONNA Said he didn't need one. TOBY Oh, good, I like the sound of this. They arrive at LEO'S OFFICE. Donna turns off toward her office, Toby meets Margaret leaving the office. TOBY [to Margaret] Hello. MARGARET Leo's coming and C.J.'s already inside. TOBY Thanks. TOBY goes into LEO'S OFFICE. C.J. Hi. You know what this is about? TOBY Yeah. I stopped by your office before but... C.J. I was at the reception. LEO [arrives] Hi C.J. C.J. What's going on? LEO India sent troops into the neutral zone in Kashmir. The U.N Security Council's gonna try to negotiate a cease-fire, but we believe we're gonna start to play a role in the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours. You can start to brief the press tonight, so I want you in on some of the meeting stuff today. MARGARET [enters] Leo... LEO [pointing across the hall] Oh, including this one. C.J. This happened last night? LEO Yeah. C.J. That's what you all were talking about when I walked into the Oval Office? LEO I'm sorry, C.J., we... C.J. You told me the lid was on. LEO You're gonna have to expect that sometimes. C.J. I got the question, Leo. A guy had a Pentagon source, I denied it. I called it ridiculous. LEO We know. C.J. Is it 300,000 troops? TOBY Yeah. C.J. A couple of destroyers? TOBY And four CVEs. C.J. The guy hit it right on the button. I made fun of him. LEO We'll tell the room you spoke without knowing the facts. C.J. I guess that's what I'll do. LEO C.J. C.J. Don't worry about it. LEO As soon as you tell 'em India's the story, this is forgotten. C.J. I'm fine. We're across the hall? LEO Yeah. C.J. exits. Leo and Toby share a look. FADE OUT. END ACT ONE * * * ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY Josh is seated across the table from CLAYPOOL. The deposition is being recorded on videotape with a live monitor. There are few other people in the room. CLAYPOOL Occupation? JOSH White House Deputy Chief of Staff. CLAYPOOL How long have you held this job? JOSH Since President Bartlet was sworn in, 12 months ago. CLAYPOOL Have you been conducting, over the past few weeks, an internal investigation into recreational drug use by White House staffers? JOSH I wouldn't call it an investigation. CLAYPOOL Why not? JOSH It wasn't that serious. CLAYPOOL You don't consider illegal drug use at the White House to be serious? JOSH Whoa. Almost tripped me up in that clever web of words. No, I would consider drug use in the White House to be serious; I wouldn't consider my investigation serious, and the way you know it wasn't serious is that I was the one running it. CLAYPOOL What prompted the investigation? JOSH Congressman Lillienfield held a press conference in which he claimed that one in three White House staffers use drugs. I was asked to discover what, if anything, might have caused him to say that. CLAYPOOL Asked by whom? JOSH The Chief of Staff and the Communications Director. CLAYPOOL Leo McGarry and Toby Ziegler. JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL As I'm sure you're aware, the organization I represent is suing under the Freedom of Information Act for the records of your investigation. JOSH Yes, and I can save us all a lot of time by telling you that there are no records of my investigation. CLAYPOOL Before being deposed here today, did you talk to anybody about the fact that we were requiring your testimony? JOSH I mentioned it to a few people. CLAYPOOL Who were they? JOSH Sam Seaborn. CLAYPOOL The Deputy Communications Director. JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL Why'd you mention it to him? JOSH No particular reason. CLAYPOOL No particular reason? JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL Really. JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL You brought up the subpoena for no particular reason. JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL Who else? JOSH My assistant, Donna Moss. CLAYPOOL Well, what did you tell Mr. Seaborn and Miss Moss about this deposition? JOSH I told them that I had to waste a day on this deposition. CLAYPOOL What else did you tell them? JOSH I probably told them that I consider these moronic lawsuits of yours to be... CLAYPOOL Why do you persist in...? JOSH Because you have consistently acted not as someone determined to get the truth, but someone who hates President Bartlet, hates people who support President Bartlet, and is looking to make headlines and money. Now you have two hours today, and two hours tomorrow. Look, will somebody please offer me some coffee? CUT TO: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY Larry and Ed are briefing Toby, C.J., and Sam. LARRY India's population stands at roughly one billion. 82% are Hindus, 11% are Muslim. ED They're mostly poor, but nearly as bad off as Pakistanis. LARRY Yes, whose average per capita income is $400. ED They are, however, better educated. Their literacy rate is 48%. LARRY And they're healthier. Average lifespan is 57.7 years. ED The average rainfall... TOBY What the hell kind of briefing is this? LARRY Toby, if we could just have another hour to prepare... TOBY Where'd you get this stuff? LARRY I swear to God, the Encyclopedia Britannica. C.J. [rising to leave] I need a briefing. TOBY [as she leaves] C.J., we're getting someone from State... SAM She'll get over it. TOBY Yeah. Toby and Sam rise to leave the room. SAM Listen. Let me ask you something without your head exploding? TOBY What? They walk out to the HALLWAY. SAM What would your first reaction be to Mandy's working for Mike Brace? TOBY What do you mean? SAM He came to her. TOBY She wants to work for Mike Brace? SAM She's thinking about it. They have arrived at the OUTER OVAL OFFICE. MRS. LANDINGHAM Good afternoon Toby, Sam. SAM Hey, Mrs. Landingham. TOBY Is this a joke? MRS. LANDINGHAM You're not going to say hello, Toby? TOBY Yes, hello. Is this a joke? SAM No. TOBY I don't understand. SAM Toby. TOBY I'm in disbelief. SAM What should I say your first reaction was? TOBY Disbelief. SAM He's good on education, good on women's rights. TOBY Are you shilling for her? SAM I'm not shilling. I'm just smoothing the way. TOBY Don't do that. SAM She just asked me to take your temperature. TOBY And please don't do that. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Toby and Sam enter. Bartlet and Leo are being briefed by Intelligence staff. There are several other people in the room. JOE India has two intermediate-range ballistic missiles named Agni 1 and Agni 2. Agni means 'fire' in Hindi. They have a 55-kiloton A-bomb which is roughly 50% more destructive than the Hiroshima bomb. But they also have a thermonuclear device. LEO An H-bomb. JOE Yeah. TOBY Joe, can you assess the command and control situation? JOE Well, this is the truly terrifying part. TOBY Good, 'cause we were waiting for a truly terrifying part. JOE CCI systems are notoriously unreliable. They put their money in the weapons and ignore safeguards. BARTLET Like what? JOE Dual launch controls, clear chain of commands, satellite surveillance, mutual monitoring, exhaustive testing. Also, leaders are reluctant to share information for fear that it might weaken them. I'll read this from a DOD overview. [reading] 'At various times, both countries have displayed an incoherent decision-making system. You cannot predict what will happen in a crisis.' BARTLET Well, bring in Dr. Strangelove and we're all set. LEO Thanks, Joe. JOE Sure. Joe thanks the President and leaves with his staff. BARTLET There's an India expert I want to bring in. LEO Who? Bartlet looks at him pointedly. LEO No. BARTLET You guys are gonna love him. LEO He's a lunatic! BARTLET He's colorful. LEO He's certifiable! SAM Who? BARTLET Lord John Marbury, former ambassador to New Delhi from the Court of Saint James. SAM Where do we find him? LEO A psychiatric institution. BARTLET He's colorful, Leo. LEO You're really gonna let him loose in the White House, where there's liquor and women? BARTLET We can hide the women. But the man deserves a drink. LEO Sir... BARTLET Let's get him on a plane. SAM Yes sir. BARTLET Anything else? LEO Thank you, Mr. President. They all rise. Sam and Toby leave the room. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Toby and Sam are walking back to their offices from the Oval Office. SAM Can I just say this about Mandy's representing Mike Brace? TOBY No. SAM Okay. TOBY I feel like I should say something to C.J. SAM Don't. TOBY You think? SAM It would be patronizing. If you don't say anything, that'll tell her that you think she's a professional. TOBY I'm gonna go see her. SAM See what you do? You ask me my advice and then you ignore it. TOBY Yeah. SAM Okay. CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is reviewing press releases. C.J. Carol? CAROL [enters] Yes? C.J. In the next few weeks, it's going to be important that the White House reassure Americans and the world that the President has a firm grip on the crisis and is working hard to defuse it. CAROL Yes. C.J. They're misspelling 'New Delhi.' CAROL They put the 'h' in the wrong place? C.J. Hey, I'm happy when they use an 'h' at all. CAROL We'll fix it. TOBY [arrives] Hey, Carol. CAROL [leaving] We're fixing the 'h.' TOBY Okay. [to C.J.] I was warned that coming to talk to you might be insulting to your professionalism. C.J. Well, you wouldn't want to do that. TOBY I wasn't ready for the press yet. C.J. Could've told me that before sending me in there. TOBY C.J. C.J. I flatly denied it. I said I was in the Oval Office ten minutes ago and nothing's going on. TOBY They don't think you lied to them. C.J. I know that. They think you lied to me, which is what happened. They don't know me. I'm from nowhere. I was just starting to get credible. I was just starting to get their respect. You know how long it's going to take me to get it back? TOBY There's a concern. C.J. Don't ask C.J., she doesn't know anything. TOBY There is a concern that you're too friendly with the press. C.J. Really. TOBY We know it's important that you have a friendly relationship with them- C.J. It's important for all of us. TOBY I don't disagree. C.J. Does this have to do with Danny Concannon? TOBY People see you with Danny. C.J. This is outrageous. TOBY This is one time, and if we erred, it's on the side of trying to- C.J. You sent me in there uninformed so that I'd lie to the press- TOBY We sent you in there uninformed because we thought there was a chance you couldn't. C.J. Okay. I have all this work to do. TOBY Okay. [leaves] CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Toby is coming from C.J.'s office when he meets Josh returning to the office. TOBY Hey. How'd it go? JOSH It was fine. TOBY Got to go back tomorrow? JOSH Yeah. TOBY Take a lawyer. JOSH You get 450 bucks an hour? TOBY No. JOSH Then mind your own business. TOBY Take Sam. JOSH It's nothing. It's this guy. TOBY Sam's going with you. JOSH Oh, absolutely, 'cause in the middle of an international crisis, what better place to put our resources? TOBY It's two hours, just do it. JOSH C.J. pissed? TOBY Yeah. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT Bartlet is reading when Charlie enters. CHARLIE Mr. President. BARTLET Yeah. CHARLIE The Chinese ambassador's at the gate and he'll be in the Mural Room in a moment. BARTLET This ought to be delightful. CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET Thanks for staying late, Charlie. CHARLIE Mmm hmm. Mr. President, I was wondering if I could ask you a question. BARTLET Sure. CHARLIE I was wondering how you would feel about my going out on a date with Zoey. BARTLET I'm sorry? CHARLIE Well, Zoey was talking to me before, and she mentioned that if I had a free night- BARTLET My daughter asked you out? CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET I should have locked her in the dungeon. CHARLIE I don't think you've got one, sir. BARTLET I could have built one. CHARLIE Sir, if it's not too much- BARTLET Charlie, you have picked the absolute worst time in the world to talk to me about this. LEO [enters] I think he's here. BARTLET Okay. CHARLIE Thank you, sir. [leaves] BARTLET Yes. [to Leo] He wants to go out with Zoey. Leo starts to smile. BARTLET Shut up! CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - NIGHT The CHINESE AMBASSADOR is in the room when Bartlet and Leo enter. They meet and shake hands. BARTLET Mr. Ambassador. CHINESE AMBASSADOR Good evening, Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you for seeing us so late, and on such short notice. CHINESE AMBASSADOR Thank you. Good evening, Leo. LEO Good evening. BARTLET Please sit down. CHINESE AMBASSADOR Thank you. BARTLET Mr. Ambassador, it is crucial that we join together to bring about a cease-fire and then a pullback, in Kashmir, before this conflict takes another escalating step. CHINESE AMBASSADOR Mr. President, we have every hope for your success. BARTLET You do. CHINESE AMBASSADOR Yes sir. BARTLET Thank you. CHINESE AMBASSADOR However, I've been instructed by Beijing to inform you that under no circumstances will China allow India's aggression against Kashmir, as it only intensifies the threat of Indian aggressors on our own border. LEO David? Are you suggesting that China might intervene? CHINESE AMBASSADOR The Indians must be stopped, Leo. Of course China would like to see a peaceful solution. But we are prepared to use whatever force is necessary. BARTLET Well, this just keeps getting better and better. FADE OUT. END ACT TWO * * * ACT THREE FADE IN: INT. OUTSIDE SAM'S OFFICE - DAY Mandy catches Sam as he's leaving his office. MANDY Did you speak to him? SAM Toby? MANDY Yes. SAM I did. MANDY And? SAM Mandy, uh... MANDY He didn't go for it. SAM It wasn't the reaction you were hoping for. MANDY Did you tell him about education and women's issues? SAM Yes. MANDY Did you tell him enthusiastically? SAM Yes. MANDY Did you tell him about...? SAM I told him everything there is to tell him. He did not warm to the idea. JOSH Let's go. SAM I'm ready. MANDY Talk to him. SAM I will. MANDY Do it enthusiastically. SAM Okay. JOSH Talk to me about what? SAM Mandy wants to take on Mike Brace as a client. JOSH Is there another Mike Brace? SAM Not in the House of Representatives, no. JOSH She understands he's a Republican right? SAM Yeah, she's a pretty bright girl. JOSH Oh, I'm gonna kill her. SAM So you're saying no way? JOSH Yeah, that's a big 10-4. SAM Yeah. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY The PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR is seated when Bartlet and Leo enter. There are two Pakistani aides present as well. BARTLET Mr. Ambassador. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR Mr. President. BARTLET You know Leo McGarry? PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR Yes sir. LEO Good to see you again. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR Terrible circumstances. BARTLET Please, sit down. We've been trying to phone your Prime Minister without any luck. Can you help us out there? PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR The Prime Minister, naturally, is preoccupied organizing our response to this latest unprovoked aggression by India, but I'll do my best to help you. BARTLET Mr. Ambassador, I stood at a podium this morning, and I publicly condemned the incursion by Indian forces. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR We felt your condemnation could have been stronger. BARTLET My condemnation might have been stronger if my State Department didn't feel that the Indian action was provoked. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR I think you're being misinformed, Mr. President. BARTLET You deny there has been Pakistani movement in the Neutral Zone? PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR The people of Kashmir are simply demanding their human rights guaranteed by the U.N. Charter for Self Determination. The unrest of the past few months is entirely the result of the cruel oppression of a defenseless people. LEO The people the President's talking about aren't defenseless, Mr. Ambassador. They're carrying the M-16s we sold them. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR Mr. McGarry... BARTLET Hang on. Look. The U.S. is committed to finding a reasonable solution to the dispute. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR With all due respect, Mr. President, it is not a dispute, but an illegal occupation by the Indian state. BARTLET Whatever the language, I know that you will agree with me that we have to find a way for these two countries to exist together in a global community. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR That sounds very nice, Mr. President, but the people of Pakistan do not wish to exist in a global community with criminals. BARTLET I'd imagine the Indian ambassador is going to say roughly the same thing about you. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR Be that as it may. BARTLET Yes. [standing] Thank you for coming. PAKISTANI AMBASSADOR Yes, Mr. President. BARTLET [shaking hands with aides as they leave] Thank you. CHARLIE [enters] Mr. President? BARTLET I'll take the Indian ambassador in the Oval Office. CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET And then if you could just ask the Secret Service to step in and kill me, please. CHARLIE Yes sir. Leo and Bartlet head across the hall to THE OVAL OFFICE. BARTLET Zoey just walked right up to him and asked him out. LEO She's a very outgoing girl. BARTLET See, but a dungeon would have put an end to that. LEO We learn these lessons the hard way. BARTLET I think you're trying to cover up the fact that you're enjoying this. LEO I'm not trying to cover it up at all. BARTLET I'm a father in pain. LEO Well, really you're just a pain. BARTLET Leo. LEO Got a racial problem? BARTLET A racial problem? LEO It's okay to admit it. BARTLET I don't! LEO Okay. BARTLET I don't have a racial problem. LEO Okay. BARTLET I'm Spencer Tracy at the end of 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.' LEO Okay. BARTLET Racial problem! LEO I'm just saying... BARTLET My problem is not that she's white, he's black, it's that she's a girl and he's not. To say nothing of he's older than she is. LEO She's 19. He's 21. BARTLET Yeah, but a guy learns a lot in those two years. LEO Okay. BARTLET Tracy was good in that movie. LEO Yeah. Charlie shows in the INDIAN AMBASSADOR. CHARLIE Mr. President? BARTLET Thank you. INDIAN AMBASSADOR Mr. President. BARTLET Mr. Ambassador. INDIAN AMBASSADOR You look well, Mr. President. BARTLET I was looking a lot better before your country breached about fourteen cease-fire conditions without so much as a phone call, so let's sit down and talk. Charlie, please close the door. Charlie exits. CUT TO: INT. DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY Claypool is seated opposite Josh and Sam, continuing the deposition. There are several other people in the room. CLAYPOOL And you didn't make a single note? JOSH No. CLAYPOOL You're asking me to believe... JOSH This is the seventh lawsuit you've brought against the White House and the fourth time you've deposed me and demanded to see documents that don't exist. CLAYPOOL In your investigation in which you wrote nothing down - and it's nice to see that the White House is taking the matter so seriously - in your investigation did you find any evidence of staff drug use? JOSH No. CLAYPOOL I'd like to remind you that you're under oath. SAM And I'd like to remind you that that's the seventh time that you've reminded him since he sat down. CLAYPOOL Are there alcoholics working in the White House? JOSH I would imagine that there are. CLAYPOOL You would imagine? JOSH Statistics suggest... CLAYPOOL Do you know for sure that there are? JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL What are their names? JOSH What, are you crazy? CLAYPOOL You don't think the public has the right to know? JOSH Drinking isn't against the law. CLAYPOOL I'm speaking of a higher standard. SAM He's not going to tell you the names of people he knows to be alcoholics, move on. CLAYPOOL Is Leo McGarry an alcoholic? JOSH I won't answer that. CLAYPOOL Has he received treatment at a facility for alcoholism? JOSH I won't answer that. CLAYPOOL Has he received treatment at a facility for Valium addiction? SAM He's not obligated to answer that question. CLAYPOOL Why not? SAM It's irrelevant to your cause of action under the Freedom of Information Act in which you are seeking any and all documents relating to Joshua Lyman's investigation of illegal drug use in the White House. We go see the judge right now, she'll sustain my objection. CLAYPOOL Mr. Lyman, in the course of your investigation, did you look at Secret Service files of the people you were investigating? JOSH There was no investigation. CLAYPOOL Did you look at any Secret Service files? JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL Including Leo McGarry's? JOSH Yes. CLAYPOOL Now, I have a record here which you would have had access to as well. It says... JOSH How did you get that? CLAYPOOL It says Leo McGarry spent twenty-eight days in an alcohol and substance abuse treatment center called Sierra Tucson. JOSH This is a piece of paper obtained illegally. CLAYPOOL That's my problem. Your problem is to answer this question. In your investigation of Leo McGarry, did you discover that he was not only treated for alcohol addiction, he was treated for Valium addiction as well? Now, should we take that question to the judge and ask her about relevancy? SAM We're going to postpone this deposition. CLAYPOOL I'm not nearly finished. SAM We're postponing. You have a problem with it, cite us for contempt. Sam and Josh rise to leave. Claypool rises and pursues them. CLAYPOOL I would think that you would be concerned with your own reputations. And the notion of you standing up for a man so egregiously unqualified... Josh suddenly turns on Claypool and pushes him up against the wall. Sam quickly turns back into the room. SAM Josh! Josh recovers himself. SAM Go. JOSH leaves the room. SAM [to Claypool] You're a cheap hack. And if you come after Leo I'm gonna bust you like a piOata. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet, Leo, and the Indian ambassador are in mid-conversation. INDIAN AMBASSADOR Your frustration, Mr. President, is because you can no longer control us with the threat of economic sanctions. BARTLET My frustration, Mr. Ambassador, is that both you and the Pakistanis have nuclear weapons and a tendency to get cranky. INDIAN AMBASSADOR India must and will be a nuclear power, Mr. President. That way, we'll never be dictated to again. BARTLET Well, it was nice spending this time with you. INDIAN AMBASSADOR Thank you Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you. LEO [showing out the ambassador] Thank you. BARTLET Every time he talks about colonial Western imperialism, I always want to remind him that the United States is also a revolutionary country that threw off its colonial masters. LEO Why don't you? BARTLET I keep forgetting. CHARLIE [sticks his head in] Mr. President? BARTLET Is he here? CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET Send him in please. LEO Oh, God help me. LORD JOHN MARBURY enters, looking disheveled. BARTLET John! MARBURY Mr. President. BARTLET Thank you for coming. How was your flight? MARBURY Intoxicating. LEO Oh, I see. MARBURY [to Leo] Allow me to present myself, Lord John Marbury, I was summoned by your President. LEO Yes. We've met, ten or twelve times. I'm Leo McGarry. MARBURY I thought you were the butler. LEO No, I'm the White House Chief of Staff. MARBURY Nonetheless, would you have something with which to light my cigarette? LEO Oh, I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in this part of the world. MARBURY Really? LEO Yes sir. MARBURY In this part over here, we encourage it. LEO Sir. MARBURY It's 'Your Lordship,' as a matter of fact, but it couldn't possibly make the least difference. So, tell me, how can I be of service to you? If it's within my power to give, you shall have it. BARTLET We need your take on the situation, John. MARBURY What is your 'take' on the situation? BARTLET The world is coming apart at the seams. MARBURY Well, then... [hands his coat to Leo, imperiously] ...thank God you sent for me! LEO Yes. FADE OUT. END ACT THREE * * * ACT FOUR FADE IN: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY C.J. is talking on the phone. C.J. [into the phone] -- the Earl of Sherbourne, he is the great great grandson of a former Viceroy and for thirteen years served as the Queen's minister to either India or Pakistan. Lord Marbury is here to council the President, and if you think this is all starting to sound like a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, I don't blame you a bit. Carol and Toby appear in the doorway. CAROL C.J.? C.J. [into the phone] Thank you. [to Carol] Yes. CAROL Toby's here. C.J. Okay. [To Toby] Hello. TOBY I feel that I didn't have the opportunity to properly articulate my argument. C.J. Either I'm a trusted member of the communications staff or I'm not, Toby, what was your argument? TOBY That was my argument. C.J. That wasn't your argument. TOBY [sitting on the couch] It was my argument a little while ago, when I was arguing in my head. C.J. Are you apologizing? TOBY Yes. [long pause] C.J. Well? TOBY What? C.J. Apologize! TOBY [peevishly] I'm sorry! C.J. God! TOBY I was trying to do it nicer than that. C.J. [sitting next to him on the couch] Whose idea was it? TOBY Mine. C.J. You were the one who said 'India's invaded Pakistan, let's not tell C.J.?' TOBY I didn't say it like that. C.J. Well, how'd you say it? TOBY I said it nicer. Toby looks at C.J. and gives her a very small smile. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY Josh is arriving back in the office. Donna greets him. DONNA Josh. JOSH Hi, Donna. DONNA I didn't expect you back so soon. JOSH Yeah. DONNA Did everything go okay? JOSH [as she takes his coat] No, actually, it didn't. Thanks. Toby and C.J. are coming out of her office and meet Josh in the hallway heading for his office. TOBY You're back. JOSH Yeah. C.J. Toby apologized to me. JOSH Listen... C.J. In his way. TOBY C.J.... JOSH Listen, I need to tell you guys something. They all go into Josh's office. CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - DAY Sam is coming back to his office. He walks past a television monitor showing soldiers fighting in Kashmir, sits at his desk, and stares into space. Mandy comes to his door. MANDY Sam? [No response.] Sam? SAM Yeah? MANDY Did you talk to him? SAM What? MANDY Did you talk to him? SAM It's a bad idea, Mandy. MANDY Did you tell him about...? SAM No. MANDY I thought that you were the champion of bipartisan cooperation, and the spirit of... SAM Leo's in trouble. You're a political consultant. Your job isn't to end the fight, it's to win it! Now you can work for us or you can work for them, but you can't do both. Josh, Toby, and C.J. appear in the doorway. JOSH Sam? SAM Yeah. JOSH Let's go. Josh, Sam, Toby, and C.J. leave. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet, Leo and Marbury are in the midst of a conversation. LEO Oh, I think that's nonsense. MARBURY Oh, do you? LEO Yes. I think you're dramatically over-estimating the possibility of escalation beyond the point we're at now. MARBURY Interesting. LEO Thank you. MARBURY What is your name again? LEO All right. MARBURY Happily ensconced in the cocoon of your Cold War victory, you are woefully ignorant of the powerful historical agents in Asia. The global triumph of the economic free market has created an illusory assumption that the world is drawing itself closer together. Your Congress has been pathetically inept at halting the proliferation of nuclear weapons in this region, and your intelligence gathering is weak. India and Pakistan have fought three wars in the half-century since they have gained their independence, with God knows how many skirmishes in between. It is about religion, and I can assure you, they do not share our fear of the bomb. Charlie enters with a message and hands it to Lord Marbury. MARBURY Oh, I have a telephone call. Mr. President, may I take it please in your foyer? BARTLET Yeah, go ahead. MARBURY Thank you. [leaves with Charlie] LEO [to Bartlet] I don't even think the accent's real. BARTLET I want to ask him to stay a little bit and help us out. LEO For how long? BARTLET You two are going to become good friends. LEO He thinks I'm the butler. BARTLET For the first couple of weeks, so did I. There is a knock at the door and Margaret enters. MARGARET Excuse me, Mr. President. BARTLET Hello, Margaret. LEO What do you need? Margaret whispers in Leo's ear. LEO Yeah. [to Bartlet] Would you excuse me for a moment? BARTLET Yeah. CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - DAY Josh, Toby, C.J., and Sam are gathered. Leo enters, followed by Margaret. LEO What's going on? JOSH It didn't go well. Claypool's got a copy of your records from rehab. Either he got 'em from Lillienfield or the other way around. I was in a position where I was gonna perjure myself, so SAM ended the deposition. Claypool's next step is to call a reporter, so I'm pretty sure you're going to be read about this soon, so I wanted to ask you, does your family know? LEO Yes. JOSH 'Cause if they don't, Leo... LEO They know. JOSH And the President? LEO Yes. JOSH You ready for this? LEO Yes. JOSH Then we're here for whatever you need. We just wanted to come in and tell you that. Leo looks from one to the other of them. CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY Bartlet is seated as Charlie enters. BARTLET Is he still on the phone? CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET Okay. CHARLIE Do you need anything? BARTLET [going to his desk] There's a quote from Revelations I'm trying to remember. CHARLIE [following him] I can't help you out there, sir. BARTLET It's about a horse. CHARLIE I've never read Revelations. BARTLET Why not? CHARLIE Never got around to it. BARTLET Say, listen. My hesitation about your going out with Zoey before, you know, it's not 'cause you're black. CHARLIE [sits] I didn't think it was. BARTLET It's not. CHARLIE I thought it was 'cause I'm a guy. BARTLET It is. CHARLIE I understand. BARTLET Still, I want you to go out with her if that's what you both want to do. CHARLIE I'd like to. BARTLET That's fine. CHARLIE Thank you, sir. BARTLET Just remember these two things: She's nineteen years old, and the 82nd Airborne works for me. CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET Also this - no kidding. You go out with Zoey, you're gonna get your picture taken. There's gonna be a lot of people not wild about the sight of you and the President's daughter. You know what to do with the mail, right? CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET [standing] All right. You keep your head up. CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET Should have built a dungeon. CHARLIE Yes sir. BARTLET [now searching for something in his desk drawer] Revelations. It's about a horse, and Death was riding on it maybe. CHARLIE Really, I haven't read it, Mr. President. BARTLET Okay. CHARLIE Should I go check it out? BARTLET Yes, please. CHARLIE Okay. BARTLET Thank you, Charlie. Bartlet finds what he's been looking for in his desk drawer - a cigarette lighter. Leo, Josh, C.J., Sam, and Toby enter. BARTLET Ah, good, I want you all to meet John. LEO Mr. President, before Lord Fauntleroy... BARTLET Lord Marbury. LEO Whatever. Before he comes back in the room, I wanted to tell you that Josh's deposition did not go well, and that the story will probably break soon. BARTLET How you doing? LEO I'm fine. BARTLET Don't you ever forget the battles you've fought and won. LEO Yes sir. MARBURY [enters] I'm back... and I believe there are many more people in the room. LEO Excellent deducing, your Lordship. MARBURY Mr. President, the telephone call was from the British ambassador to the United Nations. He believes there'll be a cease-fire resolution within a few hours. BARTLET That's what I'd heard. But all they got was two weeks. MARBURY It's two weeks better than nothing. BARTLET John, I was hoping you'd stick around for a couple of days and help us out. MARBURY A few days, a few months, however long it takes is as long as I shall serve. LEO Well, let's play it by ear. MARBURY You're all frightened. As well you should be. Not since the Protestant-Catholic wars in the 16th century has Western society known anything remotely comparable to the subcontinent's religious malevolence. To a lesser observer, the intensity of the emotional frenzy is so illogical as to border on mass psychosis. But, as has been said by kings and queens, I am not a lesser observer. BARTLET John, there's a quote from Revelations... MARBURY 'And I looked, and I beheld a pale horse, and the name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.' BARTLET Are you frightened, John? MARBURY Do you mean do I think we can stop a war in the next two weeks? BARTLET Yes. MARBURY Yes. BARTLET Good. MARBURY But -- Bartlet turns to him expectantly. Marbury takes a cigarette from his pocket. MARBURY [cont.] -- I shall require a light. Marbury catches the lighter Bartlet has tossed him, smiles, and lights his cigarette. DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END * * * The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. Episode 1.11 -- 'Lord John Marbury' Original Airdate: January 5, 2000, 9:00 PM EST Transcript By: Jenn Dungan